An Old Man's Tale
by AchievingCurrency
Summary: An Old Man tells a story to his grandkids a story of an adventure in Gamindustri, a land of wonder, Goddesses, magic, and other cool things that would seem like a dream come true, that is if they believe him of course. Future pairing(s) if I'm feeling like doing that. Yes, I did update the description to sound less boring. (Jump to the latest "chapter" for state of fic)
1. Chapter 1

**[Quick Disclaimer I Do Not Own Hyperdimension Neptunias Characters They Belong To Idea Factory And Compile Heart The Only thing I Own Is Any OC's]**

 _ **Chapter 1: An Old Man's Tale**_

In the house of an old man, two young boys' are playing together while their grandfather is watching them for the weekend.

"Pappou! can you tell us a story?" one of the young boy's asks the man in question speaks up at the young boy's request "Alright hmmmmm" the old man is thinking of a story to tell them "...!" the story he picked is an old one a tale from when he was younger "I got just the perfect story for you both, Ahem, this is a tale of a young man who went on an amazing adventure" the two boys' take a seat in front of the man they call 'Pappou' and listened to the story.

"The year is 2018 and our protagonist is out in a field sleeping away life's troubles he's young only freshly turned 18 he has short black hair paired with green eyes, he's wearing a black tee, grey cargo pant's, blue runners, and a blue hoodie" the man began his story describing the character in it.

" _*yawn*_ What time, is it? Ahh, who cares that was some great sleep... Well now that I'm awake I guess I could take a walk" a young man has just woken up from a nap in a field he got up and did as he said and took a walk where he is going he doesn't know will he find out? Probably.

"Ya'know life can be pretty boring you could have the coolest toys' the best tech and you still wouldn't be happy" the young man speaks his mind aloud " _*sigh*_ sometimes I wish something interesting would happen in my life anything will do... just SOMETHING to get me out of this boring cycle" the young man complains.

"Then how about I be that something?"

A voice spoke out the young man simply shrugged it off and said "yeah like that'll ever happen... Wait a minute who said that?" The young man was confused as to who just spoke he could've sworn he was alone. The voice spoke again "That would be me who spoke just now, anyways as I was saying... how would you like to experience something along those lines I can provide this experience but the question remains do you want this experience?" ... Silence clouded the atmosphere for a moment before the young man spoke up "I'm... Not really sure how to answer that, firstly I don't even know who you are, second I'm not even sure if I should trust you."

The voice spoke again "My name is unimportant however you can trust me on this so I will ask again" the voice paused for a second "would you like to experience something new, something far different from this life of your's?" The young man pondered this for a moment thinking hard about whether he should trust this voice and take this chance. A minute passed and he came to a conclusion "hmmm, sure why not anything to feel alive again."

"Very well then please hold on a moment" the voice replied and with that, the young man started to lose consciousness he soon blacked out what awaited him when he woke again was an adventure unlike any other.

"Urgh my head" the young man groaned as he woke up "the hell happened one minute I'm on a walk the next I fall unconscious and what the hell was with that voice?" When the young man checked his surroundings he was no longer in that field instead he was surrounded by a lush forest "huh? I coulda' sworn I was in a field not a forest ahh well, guess I'll just have to get out of here and find my way back home."

* * *

(Young Man's POV)

'The hell is with this forest it's so quiet and I'm still walking I haven't seen an exit of any kind dammit! Where the hell am I?!' _*rustle*_ "Huh?" 'Did those bushes just move?' _*rustle*_ "Okay those bushes definitely moved" I walked towards the rustling bush to see what it was hiding without warning though something jumped out causing me to back up defensively 'Ok what in the name of all things holy is that' in front of me was a small blue thingy it has the face, ears, and tail of a dog but it is DEFINITELY NOT A DOG. "Dogoooooo!" ... 'The hell kind of sound was that?!' This dog thingy then started bouncing? Closer to me so I just backed up defensively "Oi! Ya' mutt you mind leavin' me alone?" I yelled at it, it stopped bouncing and gave off a confused noise "Dogooo?" I spoke up again "Go on, Get! I'm not interested in interacting with you I kinda need to find my way outta this forest."

The creature just ignored me and this time it bounced directly at me hitting me in the leg 'Ok definitely not friendly' when it hit me my pant's got all slimy from its touch 'That is gonna be a bitch to wash later' shaking my head I pull my right leg back into the air and bring it forward to kick the creature as hard as I can. It flew right into a tree and bounced off it harmlessly 'The hell is with this thing? It was all squishy when I kicked it, and it just bounced off the tree like nothing happened seriously what the actual fuck is going on here!'

 _*rustle* *rustle* *rustle*_ The bushes started rustling again and 6 more of those creatures came out "Oh for fucks sake god fucking dammit now there's more of them this is just great absolutely fucking perfect, ya'know I'm already fucking tired of these little shits' and I barely know what they are other than the fact they look more stupid than H3RL-E."

* * *

(? POV)

a chill goes down my spine and I say aloud "I feel a disturbance in the fourth wall."

* * *

(Young Man's POV)

Out of nowhere a girl jumps out from my left and attacks the creatures with what looks like oversized knives. The creatures all went down really fast meanwhile I'm left here baffled the girl in question turns to me and speaks "hmm? Who are you? Don't think I've ever seen your face around here before" ... silence falls upon us for a moment before I speak up "Pretty sure I'm the one who should be askin' that question" the girl just sighs before speaking up "Fiiiiine, Ahem my name's IF I work for the guild" ... "Pfft, ok I take back what I said before, this tops those little shits' " the girl whose name is IF just glares at me while she does that I study her outfit carefully she's wearing what looks like some kind of dress top with ... Hot pant's? Both black with light-grey lining under a huge ass blue coat that is far too big for her along this is some large nearly knee-length blue boots with black socks looking up at her face she has long light brown hair with dark green eyes in her hair a bow that looks like a leaf.

She coughed then spoke, "Ahem, now that you know who I am, mind telling me who YOU are and what you were doing out here in the Virtua Forest?" 'Virtua Forest? Never heard of it whatever doesn't matter' "Alrighty then, well my name is James to answer why I'm in this forest... I honestly don't have a clue one minute I was taking a walk out in a field the next I'm on the ground unconscious and the last I'm in this forest trying to find a way out, that good enough for ya?" IF put her hand to her chin as if thinking about something "Hmm... Alright then, well just this once I'll lead you out the forest and back to your home" IF offered so I just responded "Uhh I don't live anywhere near here I came here to take a break and relax a bit I live like... Around 30 kilometers West from the field I was in" IF looked back at me and spoke, "You live outside of the Nations?" 'Nations? What? I don't live that far out Jeez' shrugging it off we just continued walking.

"Finally out of that damned forest now let's see if I'm correct if I go this way I should find my bike and can get back home." Walking what should be North-West towards where I left my bike not realising that the field I am in is not the one I blacked out in before IF spoke up "Uhh, Civilization is that way there's nothing out there but ocean" she points roughly North-East I look back at her and to where she's pointing. In the distance, I see what looks like some kind of City before looking back at her and speaking up "Excuse me but I'm pretty sure I know where I live and it's this way" pointing towards where I was already walking "Are you alright? There's nothing out there but Forest, Mountains, and after that Ocean" IF spoke there was a bit of silence before I responded "Yes I am quite alright I know my way around this part of the bush I've been through the Australian bush quite a lot of times" IF shook her head before speaking up again "Sorry bud but there really isn't much out that way Planeptune is over there not where you are going." She stated pointing to the city again 'Planeptune? The hell is that I've never heard of a place like that in my life' "Never heard of a place like that in Australia and I'd like to think I know my Country pretty well." And with that I continued on to where I was going or at least I tried to, taking a few steps forward I started to feel off and then everything went black and I lost consciousness as IF ran towards me.

* * *

... Sometime later?

Waking up after I passed out I notice I'm no longer outside instead I'm on a bed in a room a very girly looking room sitting up I look around me the walls are all cream coloured theres a television with a game console I've never seen before tucked inside the stand looking aro- 'HOLY FUCKING SHIT IS THAT A GIANT FUCKING SYRINGE GOOD FUCKING GOD WHO IN THE HELL WOULD KEEP THAT IN THEIR ROOM' saying this in my head as I notice a huge ass syringe just chilling in the corner of the room next to a dresser. Deciding that I should get off my ass and find out where I am I heard the doorknob turn and someone walked in, it's a young looking girl probably about 16/17 ish she's wearing a tan sweatshirt with separated sleeves, a ridiculously short checkered red skirt, black thigh length stockings coupled with large white boots looking up she has waist length pinkish bubblegum Esq hair with a black headband that brandishes a large 'C' on it, she also has what I'd guess is orange coloured eyes. She walks over towards the middle of the room and speaks up "Ahh, Mister you're awake that's a relief." She started before continuing "When Iffy brought you here she said you had passed out in the field just outside the Virtua Forest" 'Iffy? I'm just going to assume that's some kind of nickname as the only other person who was with me when I passed out was that girl named IF' there was just silence after.

"Excuse me may I have your name?" Breaking the silence by asking the girl a question she then spoke up "Oh, my name's Compa I'm a Nurse" 'That... Explains... The Syringe' "Okay, Compa can you tell me where I am?" I reply "Oh you're in my house in Planeptune" she replies with a smile on her face 'There it is again this "Planeptune" I ain't got a clue what that is I've never heard of it in my life' "Sorry Planeptune? I believe I already told IF that I have never heard of the place" Compa closes her eyes and starts to think "Hmmmmmmmmm...! Oh, I know Mister is it possible that you have amnesia" ... silence fills the room I start to think 'I KNOW I do not have amnesia but I also don't know where I am, and I need information, I think it would be best if I just went along with it' "Now that you mention it I'm having a hard time remembering anything other than my name which is James by the way."

After introductions Compa led me out into her living room where IF and 2 other girls were they look extremely weird they both have lilac coloured hair one with short hair and long bangs and the other with longer hair. The short-haired girl has 2 D-Pad shaped hairclips while the long-haired girl only has one D-Pad shaped hair clip. The short-haired girl is wearing a large white and purple hoodie with a large circular zipper that has a large 'N' on it, as well as a white choker around her neck, continuing with her unusual appearance are some thigh high stockings that are striped white and blue as well as large looking shoes which are purple, she also has lilac coloured eyes and looks no older than a 14-year-old.

After that is the long-haired girl who has the same lilac eyes as the short-haired girl, she is wearing a white and purple sailor outfit with a yellow Ascot with a large 'N' on it with similar thigh high stockings to the shorter girl except they are white and pink, her shoes are large white and purple boots with 'N's' on them she looks around 16 years old "Ooooh~ is that him Iffy" the younger looking girl spoke up she sounds like a kid seriously... "Yeah, that's him Nep" 'Nep? What's that some kinda nickname ahh whatever doesn't matter this also confirms that IF = Iffy' "So what's your name buster" the girl spoke up I simply replied "My name? That would be James how about you young lady?" I questioned back she then puffed out her chest put her hands on her hips and spoke "My name is Neptune Protagonist of Protagonists."

'There's a Lotta pride in those words also what a weird name I swear all the people here have the absolute weirdest names I mean c'mon 'IF' 'Compa' 'Neptune' you have got to be kidding me seriously there is better naming sense in BL2 and some of the names for the bosses can be pretty stupid' "Okay... Then, moving on what about you" I point to the longer haired girl she then speaks up "Oh me? My name's Nepgear I'm Neptune's little sister" ... 'I got nothing for this sorry I mean seriously who would believe that the kid is older' she spoke again "A lot of people confuse me as the older sibling but really I'm the younger one" ... "Well, you had me fooled sorry if I sound rude but seriously I mean she looks young enough to have just started high school and you look like you would be in the upper years of high school."

"Anyways onto more pressing matters can you tell me in full detail where I am? All I know is I'm in some place called Planeptune" I ask and IF spoke up "Allow me to explain-" I interrupt her "Just so you know I'm gonna need all of it, not just the City I need a full explanation on everything that is important about where I am" after I finish speaking she starts again "Alright well for starters we are in Planeptune one of the four Nations of Gamindustri the other 3 are Lowee, Lastation and Leanbox" 'Gamindustri? what an odd name and those other 3 Nations they sound awfully similar to the Wii, PlayStation, and Xbox that I know of' IF Continues "Each Nation is ruled by a CPU or Goddess 1 for each nation" 'CPU? As in Central Processing Unit? The hell does that have to do with leading a Nation also Goddess? C'mon you gotta be joking right' "There is CPU Green Heart of Leanbox, CPU Black Heart of Lastation, CPU White Heart of Lowee, and CPU Purple Heart of Planeptune or as you now know her Neptune" '... This girl this childlike girl is supposed to be the leader of a Nation you gotta be joking C'MON WHAT KIND OF HORSEFUCKERY IS THIS' "There are also the CPU Candidates for each nation except Leanbox they are the little sisters of the CPUs'."

"Next up the inhabitants of Gamindustri or as you saw earlier in the forest, Monsters they normally stay in their habitats but sometimes they wander out and attack people that's where Adventurers, Guild Agents, the CPUS, and the Candidates come in they go out and defeat said monsters to keep the people safe" IF finished before starting up again "Well that there's the basics that everyone should know" taking it all in I start thinking 'Hmm, that makes a lot more sense now but it also doesn't make any sense whatsoever hmm, maybe this is that so-called "experience" that voice mentioned if so I don't see how this is bad at all this really is a new experience something completely different from the normal boring life.'

"Ok so now that I got everything basic down pat I don't exactly have a way to earn money right now and I don't know much about jobs here so I'm gonna need some suggestions" I stated while thinking 'This place is clearly nothing like home so a job or some way to earn money should be priority' IF then put her hand on her chin as if she was thinking of something then she started speaking "Well there is always Guild work as an option but that's if you know how to fight monsters that is" I then replied "Well I don't know how to fight but I have used a gun before but I'm not exactly confident in my aim" Neptune then piped up "Ooh, I know how about I teach you how to fight" 'That's not a bad idea but I should pry more about it' "Well that could work but what kind of weapons are there even?" IF pondered for a moment then spoke up "Well we could take you to the weapon store and you can pick something out" I thought about it for a second then just nodded and so we all left towards this weapon shop.

"Well here we are" IF stated we are in front of a weapon shop but it doesn't look like one but I shouldn't really judge. We all walked in and I spoke my mind without realizing "Holy fuck its like a psychopaths wet dream" IF just stared at me awkwardly but I just was in awe and shock of the weapons. There are so many types, from axes to swords to knives to spears so many weapons even the gu- 'Is that a rocket launcher!?' Getting a little sidetracked I look over the melee weapons 'Hmm, now then what would I want, a lot of options here but I need something that suits me I've always been very picky with playstyles in games in RPG's I'd be very indecisive between quick melee weapons or ranged weaponry, never liked magic even if it was powerful, however in FPS'es I was always an aggressive player always going in guns blazing health was a joke to me' I start pondering what to pick til I get to the great sword section which catches my eye quite well 'well, well, well what do we have here I'm not exactly the strongest person in the world but I could learn to go with it because hot damn these swords are big and sharp and I like that combo very much I think I found my go to weapon hmm?'

In the corner of my eye I spot a beauty, not just any beauty a beauty of a rifle in what looks like mint condition, a Mosin-Nagant with an ATI scope mount and what I assume is a Pentax 4-12 scope judging by its design 'I think I just found my backup weapon' I walked over to IF to tell her the weapons I want to get "IF I've picked out what I want to use" she looks back at me and speaks up "Ok, so what did you pick?" I replied pointing at the greatsword rack first "For the main weapon I'm going with a greatsword and as a backup weapon" pointing to the Mosin "That beauty of a rifle" IF then replied back "Interesting choice and not many people use 2 weapons but having a backup is always nice, do you have any credits on you?" I stare at her blankly before asking "Credits?" IF groaned and replied back "you don't have any do you?" I then pull out my wallet checking what I have in it 'Hmm, a couple hundreds and my cards I probably shouldn't show them these bills they could get suspicious I'll ask her if they take card' "Do they take card?" IF just nodded "Alright then I guess that works"

Walking over to the greatsword section I picked out a dual-edged black sword with a 6" blade width its hilt was just a simple 'T' shape and the grip was wrapped in brown leather I then walked up to the counter placing the sword on it and rang the bell a young woman came in "Can I help you Sir,?" She asked "Ah yes I'd like to purchase this sword and that rifle there" pointing to the Mosin "Very well then that will be... 11,000 Credits" I pulled out my card and she placed down a machine that looked similar to the ones back home i slotted my card in and prayed for it to work 'pleaseworkpleaseworkpleasework' I heard a noise from the machine and checked it and cursed internally 'Fuck' in bold red letters it said 'Card could not be read' nothing ever goes right dammit losing hope I call over IF "Hey IF can you come over here!" She then walked over to where I was "Yeah what is it?" I pointed to the machine "Eh? 'Card could not be read' uhh, you sure you're using the right card?" I've dug myself a hole. A Big. Fucking. Hole. Pulling the card out so IF could look at it "Doesn't look like any card I've seen" and the hole gets deeper "Fuck she's gonna figure something out about me"I muttered under my breath "We'll work this out later I'll pay for now just don't forget to pay me back okay?" I nodded and grabbed my weapons after they were paid for though when I picked up my new weapons they just disappeared like they glitched out as if it was a game I was confused at first but IF explained it to me. After getting what we came here for we all left the store.

We returned to Compa's house and started working out where we should start for training me to use this sword I think I'll be fine in the gun department if I can hit up a range but close quarters combat is something I am clueless on.

All I could think of after the discussion was 'This is gonna be one hell of an experience...'

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _**This is my first time ever writing something like this the only reason I did it is because of a shithole called the BNK-3R FUCK YOU AND YOUR SHITTY DROPRATE FOR THE SHAM tl;dr I'm slowly going insane bullshit ass boss also the reason for the Borderlands 2 References thank you and see you when I decide to drop the next chapter down.**_

 _ **[Fixed up some errors with punctuation and grammar due to me not really reading it over as it was 3am and I was tired from the shit i had to deal with from yesterday]**_

 _ **Ant~**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter 2: A Simple Task…**_

(James's POV)

I woke up in the guest bedroom of Compa's house she had let me stay the night til' I return home 'Doubt that'll happen though I don't even know if I'm anywhere on Earth.' Getting up I pull out my phone to check it out 'I haven't touched it since I woke up in that forest let's hope it works' powering on my phone I'm met with the lock screen checking the corners of the screen I noticed there's no service, moving on to check the date and time '16th of April 4:23 pm huh wonder it will change' deciding to continue watching the time pass a few minutes went by and nothing changed on the screen 'Well this solidifies me not being anywhere on Earth I guess probably.'

* * *

Walking out of the guest room I'm met with a familiar face, one of a lilac-haired kid "Well hello there didn't expect you to be here so early" Neptune just smiles "What are you talking about silly it's the afternoon" 'Huh it is? Did I really sleep for that long? Must be some kind of miracle I haven't had good sleep like that in a long time' "Is it? I don't know, never been one to pay attention to time, anyways I'm guessing you are here to get me so you can teach me how to use a sword?" She just nods with a smile on her face 'Food can wait.'

We arrived at the field I passed out in the day before IF and Nepgear were already there "Hey! we're here" Neptune yelled to IF and Nepgear "Hmm? Took you long enough Nep" IF replied Neptune just puffed her cheeks "Hey it's not my fault they had a sale on pudding" IF looked irritated at how Neptune had responded 'I'm not even going to ask...'

"Moving on let's get started shall we, first pull out your sword" IF said, "Uhh, how do I do that?" I ask confused 'When we left the shop and the weapons disappeared IF said that personal equipment like weapons are stored in some kind of inventory like place that everyone has very weird but I don't think I should question it' "Okay then hold out your hands like you are gripping your sword" doing as she said I held my hands out in said fashion "Okay now what?" I asked, "Now think of your sword its details things like that" doing so I thought of the sword I bought yesterday it was simple, nothing too crazy looking, a long dual-edged black blade a simple 'T' hilt and the brown leather grip. After this process, a sword just showed up in my hands in that same glitch like fashion

"… That. Was. AWESOME" I said aloud "Good now that you have your weapon out give it a few swings to get a good feel for it then we will start working on teaching you to use it properly."

After a few minutes of getting used to the weight of the sword I went up to IF "Okay I'm all good now so… where do we start?" I asked IF just looked at Neptune and she nodded back before she disappeared in a flash of light 'Fuck me that is bright' I had to cover my eyes because of how bright it was. When the light disappeared there was a new person standing there or rather hovering?

She was wearing a black bathing suit with purple lines and slightly exposed and cleavage, her arms are also covered in that same material and colour scheme up to her neck and a pair of wrist guards, her legs were covered up to her thighs with the same similarities to her arms and body, her feet had black and purple boots, and last but not least she had long purple hair split into twin braids 2 circular hair clips with what looks like 'X's' on them, and blue eyes with what looks like a power button symbol that you would see on old consoles where her irises would be.

Looking around the area where this girl is Neptune was nowhere to be found even though she was right there 'I'm so confused right now first there was that bright ass light that covered Neptune now that its gone Neptune isn't anywhere to be found and there's another girl… there...' then it finally clicked "Neptune? Is that you" the girl responded "Hmm? Oh you figured it out pretty quickly impressive if I might say" 'I remember IF mentioned something about how the CPU's could transform or something I'm only guessing here but I think that's what I just witnessed also that is quite a transformation she looks wayyyyy different from before' "Thanks I guess?" She nods before speaking "Alright now that, that's over let's move on to teaching you how to fight" Neptune brings out a sword of her own it's a large black and purple katana she then got into a battle like stance.

* * *

We spent a few hours teaching me how to fight I personally thought it went well… hopefully Neptune then turned to me "I think that's enough for today tomorrow we can go out and see how you do in an actual fight with monsters for now lets just return for dinner" Neptune returned back to her kid looking self and we walked back although we didn't go back to Compa's house instead we went to where Neptune and Nepgear lived IF called it a Basilicom it's the place where the CPU's live and do all their work although she also mentioned that Neptune doesn't work… like at all 'Some leader of a Nation' I said in my thoughts.

"THIS is where you live?!" Pointing at the huge building in front of me Neptune looks at me and nods "I… got nothing… literally, nothing its both impressive and crazy I mean seriously?! This is the biggest building I've ever seen" Neptune puffs out her chest "I'm glad you like it." We walked inside and went towards the elevator 'The people who work here have a very "unique" dress code' I thought, Neptune selected the top floor now here's the thing I hate heights very much so if I can so much as see the floor below me over some rails my first thoughts are something along the lines of 'please don't break apart and send me crashing below' sure there are some beautiful sights but heights no matter what situation is a complete no go, considering the size of this building and that these girls live on the top floor I only feel dread.

The doors opened and we all walked into the area there are a few doors that probably lead to bedrooms and such a little further up is a kitchen with a door leading to what I'd guess is the dining area, near the kitchen is the living area with a huge TV sitting on a stand on the floor is a console hooked up and some controllers lying around there are a few chairs around and bean bags along with a couch further out into the room is a large balcony that overlooks the city 'I feel like that's all a little overboard but who am I to talk really?' the smell of food enters my nose a familiar smell one I haven't had in a while the smell of lasagne and the person cooking it was Compa.

"Histy~ we're home!" Neptune yells out 'I don't know who this "Histy" is but I assume it's another person who lives here along with the lilac-haired duo' a new face then floats? Into the room 'A person? No they look like some kind of fairy that you would hear about in children's books' the fairy or whatever it is has short blonde hair with a small white hat that has an 'N' on it, she's wearing a small purple dress with detached sleeves, and small white thigh high stockings coupled with small white shoes and to top it all off she's sitting on a floating book 'She is… very small...' the fairy then speaks up her face showing signs of anger "Neptune! Nepgear! Where have you two been? Neptune you were supposed to be out working and Nepgear you were supposed to be watching her making sure she gets work done however when I contacted the guild to ask if you two had come by they told me that neither of you showed up! Explain yourself" 'She is a very angry fairy and angry at 2 specific people 1 more than the other' Neptune and Nepgear both have an awkward smile on their faces as Neptune answers the fairy girl "Hehehehe, well we kinda didn't go and instead we went and helped someone out with something" Nepgear speaks up after her sister "We're sorry Histoire but we made plans to help someone out today" 'Okay so this fairy is named Histoire… this must be who Neptune calls 'Histy' alrighty then.'

Histoire then looks over at me "Hmm? And who might you be I don't believe we've met before" she asks me "Oh, my name is James, I'm how do I put this 'new' here I'm also the 'Someone' that these two helped out, oh and it's nice to meet you by the way" I say with a small smile "I see then, well welcome to the Planeptune Basilicom my name is Histoire the oracle of this nation it's a pleasure to meet you" she replies with a smile.

Compa then walked in "Dinner is ready everyone" Neptune piped up "Yes Compa's cooking is the bestest ever" 'Is it really that impressive? Whatever doesn't matter I haven't eaten since yesterday.' We walked into the dining area everything was laid out already and the food looked good 'Looks nice been a while since I've eaten lasagne' sitting down and grabbing a fork I take a bite… 'This is very good food, guess Neptune's statement was right in a way.'

After dinner Neptune, Nepgear, and I moved into the lounge area Neptune booted up the console and started playing a game while Nepgear and I watched her she was playing some kind of MMO and she picked up a sword that looked very familiar "That sword looks like the [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]" I said aloud… " **Did somebody say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]?"** apparently the game has voice comms and someone heard me and replied in the in-game chat then a bunch more people spoke " **Buying [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]"** 'What have I started…' " **Did you just say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]"** Neptune looked at me and puffed out her cheeks "Now look what you did people are spamming the chat I can't read anything now"

" _ **DID SOMEBODY SAY [THUNDERFURY, BLESSED BLADE OF THE WINDSEEKER]"**_

'Shut up Author you did this on purpose didn't you'

" _ **MAYBE I DID MAYBE I DIDN'T"**_

"Sorry Neptune I just blurted it out because the sword looked familiar" she just smiled "No hard feelings it's alright" she continued to play her game so I checked the time 'It's getting late I should head to bed now Histoire said I could stay the night in one of the guest rooms so I should probably head there' getting up off the couch and walking towards where the bedrooms are Neptune speaks up "Huh? You're going to bed already why not stay here and play games with me" I shook my head "It's late and I'm tired the answer is no" Neptune pouted at my response and I went to the guest room to conk out for the night.

* * *

I woke up at 5 am 'Now everything feels right in the world waking up at the appropriate time guess I could just chill here for half an hour before I go and make myself a coffee' pulling out my phone I unlock it and check what I have knowing I have no service I admire the apps I have for a moment before realising the good ones aren't even usable instead I just open up that game where you have to kill off the entire human race with a disease fun game for when you are bored. After spending some time on my phone I got up and moved out towards the kitchen and flipped the kettle on before grabbing a mug, a teaspoon, sugar, and ground coffee, looking up at the clock it reads 6:30 'Guess I played longer than I thought' the kettle then switched off and I poured the water into the mug that had the sugar and coffee in it before setting the kettle back in its original position 'And now I wait a bit before drinking this.'

It was now 7:30 I finished my coffee half an hour ago and leaned up against the kitchen counter playing with my phone Histoire then came in "Good morning James I didn't expect you to be up" turning to face Histoire before replying "I've been up since 5 I'm used to this by now it's a lot more normal for me I've been mostly chilling here working out some things on my phone" holding up my phone to show her as I notice a number in the top right corn and green bar half empty "Shit I need to find a charger for this thing" I say aloud "I've never seen a phone like that before there are no records of it in my tome either" Histoire says 'Tome? Is that the book she is sitting on no matter if she doesn't recognize my phone which could put me as suspicious quick think of an excuse to avoid this conversation, hmm, OH I KNOW!' "Tome? Records? I'm confused could you please explain" I ask Histoire she then takes a breath and starts explaining

"The book I'm sitting right now is my tome with it I record the world's history with it I can search for records in history for example that phone but it's not instant sometimes it could take hours or days even" 'Oh… well then… guess I'm fucked either way' I sighed "Well then guess I ain't gettin' out if this no matter what so let's keep this between us alright" I began "Well how can I put this, I'm not exactly from around here not as in the Nation but rather Gamindustri itself" Histoire puts a finger to her chin thinking about something it seems "Did you perhaps come from another Continent?" She Asks "Yes and no, I'm from another Continent or rather Country as I call it but something about Gamindustri feels different like I feel lighter than normal which really shouldn't be possible unless I'm on another planet, you get me?" She continues thinking "Hmm, it would take me 3 days but I can look into this for you," she says before continuing "For now just enjoy yourself" 'Alright guess that works for me' "Also about your phone try asking Nepgear about charging it, she is… how do I put it a tech geek so she might be able to help you with it" 'That problem is solved then.'

We talked for another 30 minutes when Nepgear walked in "Good morning Histoire, James" I just nodded "Good morning Nepgear did you sleep well?" Histoire said "Yes I did thanks anyways I'll start making breakfast" Histoire and I continued to chat while Nepgear made breakfast.

"Alright it's nearly ready, James could you go wake up Neptune please?" Nepgear asked I just nodded and walked to the sisters' room. I Opened the door and spoke loud enough for Neptune to hear "Neptune wake up" she stirred in bed "Just...5 more … minutes" sighing I speak again "If you don't wake up then you don't get breakfast" she immediately shot up at the word 'breakfast' "I'm up, I'm up" 'Where's an 'Easy' button when you need it?' I left the room and returned to the kitchen and Neptune followed behind.

We both took a seat and Nepgear placed down plates with triple stacked pancakes I ate mostly in silence while Neptune was going on about something I didn't really pay any attention to it though. After we finished our food and the dishes were washed I went up to Nepgear to ask about my phone "Hey Nepgear when you can, can you take a look at this and work out if you can get it to function like it used to i.e cell service, and a working charger" pulling out my phone to show it to her I coulda' sworn she had stars in her eyes when she saw it "Oh wow I've never seen a phone like this before can I take it apart please I'll put it back together I promise" sighing I go with it "Fine but it better be exactly how it was before just make sure to make a charger for it and if you can figure out how to get cell service on it" okay she definitely had stars in hers "Really?! Oh Thank you, thank you, thank you" I walk back over to Neptune and whisper to her "TIL your sister is weird" she just laughed awkwardly at this comment.

It was now the afternoon Nepgear was 'working' on my phone and IF had just walked in "Heya IF" I wave over to her she waved back before walking over to where Neptune was "Nep get up we are going out to do work" Neptune pouted at this "Do we really have to Iffy?" IF glared at her "Alright fine, fine I'll get up" Neptune came over to where IF was and IF turned to me "You're coming as well don't forget" I sighed at this, as much as I'd like to laze around I ain't got anything to laze around with so I just got off the chair and we all headed towards the Guild.

* * *

'So this is the Guild, huh, doesn't look all that special then again neither did that weapon shop…' IF spoke up "This here is the Guild, here you can accept quests to slay monsters or gather items for people when you complete a quest you can return to this building to get your reward which will be a number of credits and sometimes items and/or materials" 'Alright there goes me needing to ask for an explanation' "C'mon lets get inside and get you registered as an adventurer then we can take a quest."

The place doesn't look all that fancy on the inside there's a few terminals and a front desk there are also a few people here probably other adventurers IF led me over to the front desk "Excuse me but can we get a registration form for him?" She says while pointing to me the lady at the desk nods and digs around under the desk for a form "Here you go Miss" IF nods then looks to me "Okay just fill this out and come back to us when you are done we will go look for a quest to do" I nod and look over the form then start filling it out.

 **Name:** James

 **Age:** 18

 **Gender:** Male

 **Weapon(s):** Greatsword, Mosin– Nagant M91

 **Health Issues or Allergies (Leave blank if none):**

 **Fighting Experience (Tick one): Advanced Intermediate Beginner**

Finished with the form I hand it over to the lady behind the desk "Here's my form Miss" she takes it and puts it inside a machine "All done Sir just come over here so we can take your photo and get you an ID" I did what she said and walked over to the wall, she took my photo and went to another machine and created my ID. After a few minutes she returned to me and handed me a card with my face on it and other important information "Here you go Sir" after that she walked back over to the desk and I returned to the girls.

"Oh you're done good, well we picked out a quest already nothing too difficult just a beginner quest to slay some Dogoos" 'That name sounds just like the noise those blue creatures made back in that forest' we left the guild and headed towards the Virtua Forest.

* * *

"Well here's the forest lets get inside and do this quest" walking inside the forest it doesn't look as dense as when I first arrived but maybe I was just in a denser part of the forest. We came to an open area in the forest and the first thing we saw was a gathering of Dogoos there was around 15 of them all together they hadn't noticed us yet so I decided to pull out my rifle it appeared in my hands while also putting in some earplugs 'Seriously that is really convenient and cool as fuck' I thought to myself before getting down onto my stomach and holding the rifle steadily as I look down the scope waiting for the right moment . . . _*_ _BANG*_ I pulled the trigger a gunshot echoed around the forest 3 Dogoos disappeared in that glitch like fashion leaving their slime or whatever it is behind, I then stood up put away my rifle and pulled out my sword as the Dogoos took notice of us and hopped on over. The girls pulled out their weapons IF with her weird oversized knives apparently they are called Qatar's I don't really care though, next up Neptune with a surprisingly normal sized katana.

Neptune went up first and attacked one of the Dogoos "Cross Combination!" She shouted before she attacked I was a little confused why she said that 'Guess I'll ask IF about it after the fight.' Neptune attacked in quick succession this kills the Dogoo as it disappeared in the same fashion as the others, she then quickly moved on to another one and killed it quite fast before going with the momentum and destroying a third and moving back to us, IF went up next except she stayed where she was holding out her hand before saying something "Demon Flames!" After she said that a column of fire erupted over 5 of the Dogoos, when it died down they weren't anywhere to be seen I was just in awe of what happened before snapping out of that trance and moving in myself. Running in with my sword pointing behind me at the hip I stop in front of 3 of the last 5 Dogoos before gripping my sword tightly and doing a horizontal slash cleaving right through all 3 of them as they disappeared the last 2 jumped at me so pulled my sword up to my chest and positioned it in a way to block both of them. They bounced off the blade and back onto the ground taking the opportunity I cleave through them both.

Now I'd like to say it ended right then and there but It seems today is an unlucky day as I was walking back to the girls a large figure came running towards us Neptune noticed the figure and acting quickly she transformed and flew towards the figure to halt its movement with her sword I turned around to face her and saw a huge blue furred wolf it had red eyes and large sharp teeth, on its front paws were a set of claws and on its hind legs were what looked like large blades pointing towards the sky

"The hell is that?!" I shouted, IF ran up to me "That's a Fenrir a ferocious creature and it doesn't seem like it's gonna let us leave peacefully so I guess we got no other choice but to slay it" I just nod and move back a bit putting my greatsword away and pulling out my rifle aiming it towards the Fenrir's face before taking a breath and pulling the trigger _*_ _BANG*_ the Fenrir howled in pain from the shot before looking in my direction and growling at me "Oh no you don't, Cross Combination!" Neptune shouted attacking the Fenrir keeping its attention on her as I put my rifle away and draw my sword. IF then runs up to the Fenrir and attacks its side in quick succession the Fenrir turned to her and slashed at her body but she just back-flipped and kicked its face in the process, the Fenrir growled in anger at this not letting the moment be wasted I move to its behind and pull up my sword and in one clean strike I cleaved its tail off it howled loudly in pain at this motion before turning to me quickly and slashing at me I pulled my sword up gripped it tightly and blocked its attack before locking my sword into its claw so Neptune could come in "Critical Edge!" She yells before slashing at the Fenrir it dropped its claw as it got knocked over on its side not was a moment I drop my sword and pull my rifle out quickly aim at where I presume its heart is and take a deep breath _*_ _BANG*_ pulling the trigger the bullet hits home and the Fenrir stops squirming around before disappearing like the other monsters.

"That was… unexpected, wonder what it was doing out here no matter though we took care of it and well done to you that was some fine moves" Neptune spoke out before transforming back "Uhh, thanks I guess anyways can I ask why you two said those phrases before attacking?" IF looks at me "Oh right you don't know yet, those were skills" 'Skills? What is this an RPG?' "They are powerful attacks more powerful than your normal attack but they also use up your stamina and energy most people develop them after training or learn them naturally" IF finished before speaking up again "Anyways lets head back to the guild and turn in the quest" she said while walking towards the exit as we both joined her.

* * *

The reward for the quest didn't seem like all that much only 1000 credits 'I should ask Histoire if she can get my card to work as it has a lot of money on it or even convert my cash to credits if it's even possible, I should also buy some ammo on the way back.' We then returned to the Basilicom since its been some time since we left I got my ammo and I went to find Histoire "Oh there you are good news" I look at her with a confused look "Come with me so we can talk in private" I followed her into a room. "Alright now that we are alone I'd like to discuss about what we talked about in the morning it took a lot less time than I thought but from all the information you gave me I can conclude you came from another Dimension" '...' I'm completely silent on this Histoire spoke again "How you got here I am unsure but this is the only conclusion I can come to" 'Wait… I think I get it maybe, after I agreed to that voice's deal I blacked out and woke up in a forest I don't know on a continent I don't know' "That actually makes a lot of sense when I think about the events that lead up to this, okay then can I ask a question?" I say as I pull out my wallet "Sure what is it you wish to ask?" I pull out 300 dollars and my credit card "Is it possible to somehow convert my currency to credits and somehow issue a new card to go with it? Because I'm otherwise broke with currency from another Dimension" she starts thinking before speaking "Leave those with me and I'll see what I can do about it"

I place the items on the desk before heading out of the room planning to hit the hay earlier than expected however I only had one thought on my mind 'Another Dimension ey Interesting I did not expect this at all it really is as the voice said a completely new experience.'

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _ **I skipped out on gaming for this...**_

 _ **Hmm? Did you hear that? I swear I heard someone say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker]**_

 _ **Quick Extra I should have added in if you want a good laugh go to google translate type in "Did Somebody Say [Thunderfury, Blessed Blade of the Windseeker] switch the language you are translating from to Vietnamese and click the icon for them to speak in Englishh in the Vietnamese box it sounds so good**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter 3: A Coincidence? I THINK… Maybe, possibly, I don't know**_

A week had gone by and I had finally been settling into this world and after a very long talk with Histoire I more or less know as much I need to about this world. Unfortunately for me, the money situation isn't going all too well the card works … but the problem is when I try to use it the display goes all wonky and glitchy, I asked Histoire about it and gave her my 2 cents on it and that it's trying to register my currency but unable to do so, she mostly agreed on this and will look into how to convert the digital number.

On some good notes, Nepgear handed me my phone back yesterday and with it a cord a familiar looking cord, one that can charge my damn phone. Along with the cord came a smaller card that I know well of, twas a sim card, most likely from a provider in Gamindustri, THIS made me really happy because with internet comes many things one being I can check on all my apps and such and see if I missed anything… til the disappointment immediately rolled in to say "HEY FUCK YOU BTW" why? Because NOTHING worked at all internet wise. After the disappointment that came with me not being able to browse anything and work out what was up with my world currently I just resorted to new looking apps that Nepgear must have added on they were the simple things like messaging and calling, things like that, the absolute basics.

And now I'm sitting here just after getting my ass handed to me by Neptune 'That girl is something else...' Then the dreaded question came in by none other than IF everyone was together to hear it too, well… that makes sense we were all currently gathered around the lounging area of the Basilicom.

"So… mind explaining yourself?" IF asked, "Whatever could you mean?" I questioned her back "Well after some 'careful' observation I've noticed some oddities about you. Example; your phone, the green paper looking items inside your wallet, but most importantly your manner of speaking. So explain yourself" I inhaled deeply 'I am 101 hundo percent fucked right now' "Well looks like you figured me out… albeit it wasn't all too difficult" I muttered the last part before continuing on "It's simple really I'm not from Gamindustri" 'Please take this answer seriously and don't question it any further than it needs to be' "Then where are you from?" IF questioned 'This will be a difficult question to answer could tell the truth but it's not very believable' "Another continent far from here **very** far" putting emphasis on the 'very.'

IF was in thought about this analyzing everything probably "You're lying" she boldly stated 'Well… shit' I sighed "Nope not at all but I'll be more straight with you" I replied "I'm telling the truth albeit a little twisted, I am from a different continent… but that continent is quite far away… far enough that I couldn't reach it even through normal means. If I tried to explain it better you would no doubt question my sanity and then I'd probably be put in a mental hospital" IF was about to speak but I cut her off "You want the truth? The full truth?" She nodded "Alrighty then I discussed this already with Histoire and she is still looking into it herself but from her current information she has on me the only logical conclusion she deduced was that I am not of this world… literally"

IF was confused at these words until Histoire came into the room herself hearing what I said "To put it simply what I deduced of him is that he is from another Dimension that is about as much as I have right now" IF turned to Histoire then back to me with this look that says 'You have got to be kidding me right?' "It's not a joke IF" I told her seriously Nepgear piped up "Wait… if you're from another Dimension than how did you get here?" Neptune immediately turned her attention to me "Ooh we get to hear Jamie's backstory" she was interested in what I have to tell "Not much of a backstory more just how I ended up he- wait 'Jamie?'" Neptune grinned at me "Yeah it's a nickname for you it's a lot more fun to say."

A bit of silence loomed over the room til I spoke up "Sorry, I just didn't expect to hear that name like… at all" taking a breath I move on from that conversation "Alright let us do this whole story thing."

"Ahem, Boys and Girls, Ladies, mmm and a Gentleman. Turn the lights down low and shut your faces as I wrap you in the cozy blanket of a story, a story as heartwarming and soft… as a mothers kiss. Or is it?" I began in a storytelling voice "Okay for real I was taking a walk after waking up from a nap. Something or someone contacted me and offered me an opportunity. I agreed and here I am" everyone stared at me in silence til Neptune broke it "Really? That's it? Man that was really boring now my excitement is gone" she pouted I sighed at this remark "Well that's what really happened so uhh, yeah" 'And with that I killed the mood yay for me' Histoire then looked over to me "Anyways I came to let you know that I have a way to convert your currency I just need a general idea of your worlds prices so I can compare them" I pulled out my wallet and grabbed the cash that was in it "This amounts to 300 in my currency which if I was to give it an item linked the amount… a second-hand current generation games console is pretty close to it" Nepgear looked at me "Well a used console for the current ones on the market is 15 thousand credits" '15 thousand, huh, that sounds like a lot but I get the feeling I have much more than that.'

"Gear can I ask how common a console is in the average persons home? Because where I'm from they aren't all that common" 'Alright let's see what she has to say' "Oh from the last poll we ran 80% of people living in all four nations combined own a console" '80% is a lot even if the entire continent had a populace of say 10 million people that's 8 million people who own a console and if I remember last time I checked the statistics for my country it was around 40%' "Alright if that is so then getting the materials or resources to manufacture a console is easy I'm guessing?" Nepgear nodded and answered me "Oh most parts are either obtained through harvesting natural resources or monster drops so they end up in bulk quite a bit mostly due to monsters" 'Alrighty then consoles are a bad comparison, hmmm, oh I know maybe that could work' "Okay that was a bad comparison better idea how much is the average cost of a new video game made by the top companies?" Nepgear started thinking "Well… most new games made by top companies cost around 6000 to 8000 credits depending on the nation you live in"

'That's all I needed to hear consoles can be as cheap as they want to be but game prices are always higher than it really should be' "That's all I needed to hear Nepgear. From what you told me consoles are extremely common so I thought that it's possible that the price might be lower in comparison because of consumer demand tl;dr purposely lower the price sell more units everyone wins" taking a breath "Now we take a look at companies that make video games, most lesser known games made by say… indie developers generally range between 10 – 30 dollars however the more well-known companies generally sell their games for 60 dollars however those companies are overseas and translating them to my currency results in 80 dollars for a damn game… greedy fucks" muttering those last words.

"Thus I conclude if my Math is on point 1 dollar equals 100 credits" I then pull out my wallet and pull out a receipt of the last time I deposited cash into my bank account "If all that is then this number right here says I am a very rich man" the receipt says I have 11 thousand dollars in my bank account I hand it over to Nepgear so she could see. When she saw the number her eyes widened "11 thousand?! And this is of your currency right?" 'Oh my that face is golden' "Yep was originally saving up to buy a car but plans have changed it seems and if you worked it out already that amounts to..." Histoire finished my answer "1.1 million credits correct?" I grin at this "Bingo" 'This is just gold, pure gold' "Well now that, that's sorted out I will get it done in around 3 days" Neptune realizing what was being said "Wait, wait, wait if you have that much money… then" she breathed in "Let's go out and buy pudding!"

"No" I immediately shot her down "Awww…" she said in a saddened tone. Looking at the time I see it's still pretty early in the day 'Guess I could go out I ain't got anything to do today' "I'm going out for the day I'll see you all later" waving at the others as I exit the area 'Now then what to do… questing? Eh sure still need some cash til everything is sorted out' as I head off towards the Guild.

* * *

I am now in a field stalking my prey from a nearby bush I turn around as if I'm talking to people who are watching this on a television and in my best Steve Irwin impression "That right there is a common gathering of Dogoos, annoying little creatures but truly marvellous in their own unique way, it looks like they are all peaceful but from the information I received from the Guild, these little bastards are disturbing the travellers and locals here at the Planeptune – Lastation border. Let's get a closer look shall we?" With those words I move forward towards the gathering now I'd say gathering is an understatement, to be honest, because there is at least 40 of them 'Guess I'll have to play this smart' although weak alone they are pains in the ass when there is a lot. Working out my plan of action carefully I look around to see if I can find anything I could use as a distraction 'Hmmm… nothing… Wait! I got an idea, I saw this once in a game' I pull out my rifle and drop a bullet out 'Hope this works.'

With all my strength I threw the bullet in the direction of the dogoos and quickly ran back to the bush when the bullet landed it hit a dogoo and caused it to make a noise in confusion 'Alright now do what I want you to do' it then alerted it's blue allies that something or someone was near and they all gathered together very closely 'Just as planned' I grinned while Holding out my rifle I aim towards the cluster of blue and line up a shot that should hit enough to make this less painful.

or at least I thought I would til a certain someone came straight into the horde shouting something and taking out a few with her sword this did not sit well with me as I immediately stood up and shouted at the lady in an angry tone "HEY THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YA CUNT I HAD A PERFECT SHOT LINED UP TIL YOU CAME AND RUINED IT!" The girl now turns to me as I take in her appearance. She looked just like Neptune when she transformed except for a palette swap and a hair change. 'Looks like Neptune transformed except she has long white hair and teal? Coloured eyes honestly I can't tell too far away' she didn't look very happy with the tone I gave her.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE INSULTING ME LIKE THAT HUH? AND IF YOU HAD SOMETHING LINED UP WHY DIDN'T YOU TAKE IT SOONER, MAYBE IF YOU DID I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO COME IN AND START IT FOR YOU!" She yelled back at me although thoughts to not continue this plagued the back of my mind… those thoughts never came to fruition instead I rode the argument even further down the river.

"WHO AM I TALKING TO? OH, I DON'T KNOW MAYBE IM TALKING TO THE FUCKING TREE, BUT I'M DEFINITELY NOT TALKING TO AN OLD COON LIKE YOU!" She was fuming at this point "WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD!?" She yelled back at me "EXCUSE ME PRINCESS BUT DO YOU SEE ANYONE ELSE IN THE VICINITY WHO LOOKS OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY MOTHER!?" On a scale of 1 to 10 id give her an 11 if Neptune was here she'd give her a 12 on the pissed off meter "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR ATTITUDE PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A BEATDOWN!" Again in the back of my mind I'm probably saying something along the lines of 'Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck I'm fucking dead now' but the words that exited my mouth were… different.

"TRY ME YA OUT OF DATE SWIMSUIT MODEL!" With those words and a fit of anger I pull out my sword and ready myself in return she readies her sword at her side and flew towards me and swung her giant sword at me quite quickly I barely had enough time to raise my own, but I managed the force in the attack sent me back a bit but she didn't let up. She continued her attacks keeping me on the defensive until I found an opening I could exploit. 'C'mon where is it… There!' Finding my opening I slash at her side she barely managed to dodge it… however, I wasn't going to stop there and I went on the offensive. She withstood my attacks with relative ease and I kicked her away sending her back a bit I don't know why I said it but these words just came out of my mouth as to why I was referencing this at all I seriously don't know.

"URGHH this is so frustrating. Ya' see this is what I don't get about you bad guys, you know the hero is gonna win but you Just. Don't. Die. Quickly… Man uhh... Example: this one guy in New Haven Right? City's burning people are dying left and right yadda, yadda, yadda. This jackhole rushes me with a spoon, Haha A FRICKING SPOON, and I'm dying laughing Right?! So I scoop out his stupid little eyeballs with it and his kids are all 'WAAAAAAH' And I HAAAA I Cant even ohhhh yes. He can't see where he's going, he's bumping into stuff and I. Anyway I dunno maybe you had to be there. The moral is: You're a total bitch."

She was confused at first as to what kind of crazy shit I was saying that changed quickly when she realized I called her a bitch and hoo boy was she fuming "YOU, HOW DARE YOU. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS I'M ENDING THIS RIGHT NOW!" She yelled in anger at me "BRING IT YA OLD HAG!" I yelled back at her as we charged at each other this was short lived though as a new card on the playing field came in stopping the fight well 2 cards and one was Purple Heart.

"ENOUGH!" She shouted at the both of us we both stopped in our tracks once Neptune arrived "Ahh shit I'm fucked now aren't I?" The new girl smiles awkwardly at my remark. Neptune looked at me "And you. I thought you knew better than to go picking fights with a CPU" those words echoed throughout my mind 'CPU...' "She's a CPU? You aren't pulling my leg right?" She looks at me with a deadpan expression 'Oh she's serious alright. I believe "Turbo fucked with a side of sauce" would be the appropriate words here.'

She looked over at the other CPU and spoke to her "And you Noire you very much should know better than this" the other CPU who I now know as Noire turned around facing away from us "I don't have to hear that from you of all people. He started it anyways maybe you should teach him how to properly talk to a _lady_ " she put a huge emphasis on the word 'lady' before flying off in the direction of Lastation. I turned my back towards the girls and walked towards Planeptune "And where do you think you're going?" Neptune asked me in a stern tone "Back I ain't in the mood anymore. Do me a favour and finish off the dogoo quest for me and keep the rewards I need some time _alone_ " Neptune sighed "Oh boy what are we going to do with him" she then turned to Nepgear "C'mon lets at least kill these… dogoos?" Neptune had turned to look to where the dogoos would be but there was just a field covered in blue slime. Somehow during the fight Noire and James ended up killing the dogoos without even realizing it.

'Just who the hell was he?! And to be stopped by Neptune urgh this is annoying' a certain black-haired CPU thought as she angrily walked into her Basilicom. "Oh Noire you're back. Huh? Is something wrong?" A younger black haired girl asked "Not now Uni" she sternly replied "Oh… okay" the younger girl named Uni said in a saddened tone

* * *

Returning to the Basilicom I walk straight into the guest room and flop onto the bed laying on my back " _sigh_ I am so screwed when she gets back."

"When who? Gets back" 'Ahh shit now I'm done for' "I'm waiting" sighing I sit up from the bed "When _you_ get back but it seems you're already here" looking over at my mental executioner "And considering you're still in that form in my words I'd say I'm 'Turbo fucked with a side of fries' am I correct?" Neptune sighs "No not exactly I just want to know why you were fighting with Noire" sighing again "Fiiiiiiine. Well, it started like this. I was out there perfecting my angle on a shot I was going to take so it could take out around 20 of the dogoos with one bullet til Bitchy Heart came in and stole my kill. I got pissed yelled at her she yelled back called her old a few times" Neptune snickered a bit at the mention of me calling Noire old "then things escalated from there. Said some crazy shit. Called her a bitch yadda, yadda, yadda and here we are."

Neptune took it all in 'I get this strange feeling that he would both get along and hate Blanc at the same time' "So what crazy thing did you say? I'm curious" I looked back at her "Oh nothing much just a quote from my favourite Video Game Villain of all time. Anyways I'm just gonna rest" Neptune then started to walk out "Also don't tell her where I am otherwise she will probably try to beat the ever living shit out of me" Neptune smiled at me "Can't make any promises but I'll try" she left the room and I dozed off.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4: Friend or Foe**_

When I woke up there I wasn't in the guest room of the Basilicom instead, there was nothing around me just an empty void. When I tried to move my arms and legs they felt restrained and when I looked at them to see what was wrong I found I was strapped down on a metal chair. I struggled for what felt like a minute until someone had shown up "Oh good you're awake now I can finally proceed" a male voice spoke out.

I looked in the direction of the voice to find a cloaked figure "Who are you? Where am I answer me!" I shouted at the figure "I am of no importance I'm just here to bring you a 'gift' of sorts" 'A gift? No, I doubt it's anything good judging by how he worded 'gift' so what could it be?'

He pulled out a vial from his cloak, inside the vial was some kind of liquid but it looked wrong the colour was a combination of red and sickly green it seemed to produce small bubbles 'The hell is that!? It looks disgusting' "What in the hell is that liquid?" I asked the man "Oh nothing to be concerned about, well, nothing I should be concerned about that is" he then pulled out a syringe and sucked up the vile liquid into it "Now then this will hurt… a bit."

He walked over to me with the syringe in hand I tried to struggle out of what was binding me but to no avail. He moved the syringe over to my wrist and prepared to inject me with whatever that liquid was "DAMMIT LET ME GO ASSHOLE!" I struggled more and more but he grabbed my wrist to steady it "Shhhh, no talking" he spoke in a whisper as he pierced my skin with the syringe slowly injecting the vile liquid til it was all gone "That should do it now then I'll be off I have business elsewhere so why don't you enjoy that 'gift'" the cloaked man said as he walked away from me disappearing into the darkness as I passed out.

* * *

When I woke again I was in the guest bedroom sweating heavily 'A nightmare? No it couldn't be one it felt too real to be a nightmare' "ARGHHHHH" I screamed out as I felt pain throughout my body as it burned up. 3 girls came into the room very quickly "Are you okay? We heard screaming" Nepgear said in a worried tone I was breathing heavily as Histoire floated over to check my temperature "He's burning up and it's very serious" she said to the girls "Nepgear call the doctor and ask her to come immediately" Histoire said to Nepgear before turning to Neptune "Neptune keep an eye on him make sure he doesn't leave this bed" Neptune nodded at this and pulled up a chair as Nepgear came back into the room "She'll be here soon Histoire" She told the fairy.

15 minutes later the doctor arrived "Where is the patient?" She asked and Histoire pointed towards the guest room as they both went towards it. James was breathing heavily and constantly moving around as the doctor came into the room "That doesn't look good I'll need some time to find out what's wrong" the doctor said as she looked over James "Neptune stay here with the doctor as she works" Neptune nodded as Histoire and Nepgear left the room closing the door.

The doctor then did her work checking his temperature which was abnormally high and running some smaller machines over his body 'Something in his blood?" She thought to herself "Lady Neptune can you hold him steady? I need to take a blood sample" Neptune nodded as she held James down so the doctor could get a sample of his blood. She pulled out a small machine connected to a tube with a needle at the end, she then pulled out a small bottle and hooked it up to the machine as she turned it on.

The doctor moved over to where James was being held down and injected the tube with the needle into his arm, she then pressed a button on the machine and blood started going through the tube and into the bottle. James struggled more viciously at this giving Neptune a hard time "Alright I'm done just let me pull the needle out and then you can release him" the doctor said as she moved over and pulled the needle out patching the wound up with some tape and cotton, this caused James to calm down a bit as she went back to her machine and grabbed the bottle inspecting it 'What is this? It looks wrong' the blood in the bottle was a dark shade of red but what was off about it was that it was moving only slightly.

The 'blood' pulsed and shifted in the bottle almost like it was alive "This is definitely not normal" she muttered before calling in the CPU Candidate "Lady Nepgear you can come in now" the doctor said and Nepgear entered. The doctor walked over to Histoire and to talk with her "Miss Histoire something is very wrong with the boy, take a look at this" she held up the bottle of blood. Histoire inspected the bottle and noticed it's movements as she looked at the doctor "What is this? I've never seen anything like it"

"Blood. More specifically his blood but something about it is wrong it isn't normal" the doctor responded to Histoire and the fairy's eyes widened at this "What could have caused this?" She asked but the doctor just shook her head "I do not know I would need time to study it properly" James then came out quickly and noticed the bottle he had heard the conversation between the 2.

His voice was rough "Don't try to study it get rid of it completely destroy it by any means necessary" both Histoire and the doctor looked at him with a confused look before the doctor spoke up "If I did that then I won't be able to help you" He shook his head at this "No you don't understand whatever is wrong with me is not normal but I can feel it" He took a breath "And if that were to get inside someone else it could cause a viral outbreak. I don't know why but I can feel it, and it feels alive" taking another breath "It seeks others."

The doctor and Histoire were both shocked at my words but Histoire looked at his eyes, he was dead serious "I can tell you are not joking around about this, I will take your word for it and have it destroyed properly" Histoire spoke to James before turning to the doctor "Take that to the military facility on the outskirts of Planeptune and ask for a man named Zivir, I will contact him and fill him in on this" the doctor nodded before placing the bottle in a case and leaving.

Neptune and Nepgear exited the room "What happened?" Nepgear asked in a very worried tone "Do not worry Nepgear everything is under control" Histoire reassured her "B-but when he suddenly ra-" James held his hand out "I'm fine I just need some time alone" James started walking towards the elevator "Do not follow me" James told them all sternly as he left. Nepgear tried to walk towards the elevator but Neptune stopped her "Don't worry I have faith in him so just let him have his alone time alright" she said to her Nepgear who just nodded at this.

* * *

When I got to ground floor I ran out of the Basilicom as fast as I could and ran as far away as I could. I ended up in a snowy forest "Hopefully this is far enough" I sat down at a tree "I feel awful my body feels wrong."

I sat there for a few minutes then I started to hear loud footsteps coming closer. I looked up to see a brown dragon-looking creature heading straight towards me. I scrambled to get up as quickly as I could but the dragon ran at me and pinned me on the tree "ARGHHHHHHH" I screamed out in pain but the dragon just kept me pinned as it moved its head closer to me.

"GET. OFF. OF. ME!" I shouted at the dragon as I grabbed its arm and threw it back 10 feet "Haaa…. Haaa" I breathed in as I clenched my fists but something happened to my forearms they started getting circled by weird red tendril looking things 'The hell?!' The tendrils disappeared and my forearms were now covered in some kind of grey armour.

I clenched my fists again as I looked at my arms "*RARRRRRRRRGH*" a loud roar was made by the dragon in front of me I just glared at the dragon before dashing at it breaking some of the ground that I was running on before jumping up to the dragon's face and punching it as hard as I could, sending it back towards a tree "Asshole of a dragon" I muttered before dashing at the dragon and releasing a barrage of punches.

"TAKE THIS YOU UGLY FUCK!" I shout as I drive my fists into its head knocking it straight into the ground. I walked over to the downed dragon before standing on its back "RARGHHH" I yell out as I drive my fist right into where its heart would be expecting it to die from this but instead the dragon started getting surrounded in those strange tendrils from before it roared in pain as the tendrils ate away at it 'What the fuck?!' the tendrils then started circling my body and went inside of me.

"What the fuck just happened" I mutter, I had just witnessed the dragon become apart of me it felt weird but I wasn't hurt from before anymore. But just when I thought it was over "The hell was that!?" A girls voice shouted from above and I took a look to see what it was.

A girl who looked like Neptune and Noire except she had a white swimsuit on with light-blue lines. She had short blue hair with bangs that went past her shoulders, her red eyes were looking at me and she had a huge axe resting on her shoulders.

"I asked you a question dipshit!" She shouted at me 'Foul mouth much… wait I can't talk I'm just as bad...' "I honestly don't know" I answered her truthfully before shaking my head and asking her a question "That outfit… are you perhaps a CPU?" She glared at me "Yeah I am, but who are you jackass" I sigh 'This is going to be a long day' "My name is James" I answer her before speaking again "I'm currently staying with Neptune til I work out my situation better" she looked at me with confusion "Wait… you're staying with that idiot?!" I nod "Then why are you out here in Lowee?" She asked "I came here due to… complications, I should probably return now," I say as I start walking away.

She floats in front of me "Hold on just a second you ain't leavin' just yet. I want answers as to what the hell I just witnessed" I sighed "And I told you I honestly don't know, one minute I'm sitting down the next I'm pinned against a tree by that scaly fuck then this happens" I show her my arms which are still weird looking.

She looks at them seemingly thinking about something "Alright you can go" she said calmly 'YES FINALLY' "On one condition" she looked at me in the eyes 'Spoke too soon...' "And that condition is?" I ask her "If you can survive an attack from me" 'You have got to be kidding me...' "Fine just hurry it up I want to get back" she grinned and floated back and I put my right leg forward and left leg back while crossing my arms together and holding them up preparing for the attack.

"Zerstorung!" She shouts 'Is that German? It sounds German' she starts swinging around her axe turning with it as she gets closer to me "RAAARRRRRRRRRGH!" She screams a battle cry as she hits my arms pushing me back 10 feet my arms look completely unharmed and it didn't hurt all too much 'That didn't hurt that much' "You done? Can I leave now?" I ask her she looks at my arms and they appeared unharmed she was completely baffled "Grrr… fine get out of my sight" 'She really doesn't look happy' I left the snowy forest.

* * *

'Okay now that I'm nearing Planeptune my arms are still the same and I don't exactly want people to see so how in the hell am I gonna make them look normal again' with that thought as if on command my arms returned to normal "That's convenient" I mutter and continue walking towards Planeptune.

I made it back to the Basilicom "Histoire! I'm Back!" I yelled out and a small fairy came to greet me "Oh good you're back that's a relief. Are you feeling better?" She asked with concern I just nodded "Anyways it seems you have a guest" 'A guest? Who?'

Just then a girl with long black hair tied into twin tails with blue ribbons. She has red eyes and she is wearing a red, black, and white dress with a short skirt and detached sleeves with white frills near the shoulders, a blue ribbon above her chest and thigh high stockings with black heeled boots.

"And who might you be?" I ask the girl "Hmph" she then closes her eyes as she flicks back one of twin tails "I am the Great CPU of Lastation" 'She did not just do that...' "pft" I let out a small laugh, she glares at me "Sorry, sorry" I put my hands up defensively "So uh, what do you want with me?" I ask her. Noire looks at me "Who are you? That's what I want to know. I've never seen you before at all and when I looked into you I found that someone fitting your description has been living in the Planeptune Basilicom" I laughed nervously at this "I'm just some lad no one special" she eyed me "I don't believe that one bit" a new voice spoke up from the balcony.

She had short sandy brown hair dark blue eyes and a large white, and brown hat with blue frills on it. She wore a white, and brown dress with a large white, blue, and brown coat on her that was far too big. And last she had white, and blue heels.

"Uhh, who are you?" I ask the new girl Neptune piped up "Oh heyyy~~ its Blanc" the girl I now know as Blanc looked angry at me "What did you already forgot me from the forest jackass" '… Oh… shit' "Huh? What are you talking about" Noire looked confused? Blanc looked at me "Why don't you show them yourself" 'Ahh shit...' "Show us what?" Nepgear asked confused I sighed at this before holding out my arms and thinking about what they were like back in the forest.

Everyone besides Blanc looked at me in shock as my forearms were covered in black and red tendril-like things before revealing some grey kind of armour "Happened earlier back in a forest near Lowee I ain't got a clue what's wrong with them or with me" I took a breath "A Dragon attacked me in the forest and my arms well, became like this before I retaliated and killed the Dragon" Histoire looked over at me "Do you think it has something to do with what happened this morning? You did say when we took your blood that it was extremely dangerous" I just nodded "Probably. I really don't know though."

Noire and Blanc looked at me "What happened this morning?" Noire asked I give her a serious look "Nothing you need to know" I answered her this only made her a little angry "What about what happened with the dragon after you beat it" Blanc said. Everyone just looked at me "What happened after you beat the dragon?" Histoire asked I sighed "I don't know it just started getting surrounded by these weird tendrils as it got like absorbed into them, then the tendrils returned to my body and the dragon was nowhere to be seen. My best guess is that I somehow absorbed it into my body."

Everyone besides Blanc looked at me in shock "Can we drop this, please? I honestly don't know what is wrong with me" I asked * _Rrr-ing Rrr-ing*_ a phone sounded off and Histoire picked up "Yes what is it? WHAT! Understood I'll send help right away" we looked at her and she spoke up "A large monster is attacking a Village on the outskirts of Planeptune and I need you all to go and deal with it as it seems very dangerous from what I just heard" she looked at the other CPU's "This includes you two as well. Please hurry" we all left as quickly as we could the girls all transformed and flew towards the Village Neptune had to carry me.

* * *

When we arrived there were buildings on fire some destroyed people running and screaming and in the middle of it a huge monster the size of a truck was there. It had a bulky build and sharp claws, spikes along its back and horns on its head it had red fur on its body and blood red eyes. It looked up at all of us and growled "Neptune drop me on its head" she was about to argue against it "I meant now Neptune no buts" she sighed as a shot her down and hovered above the monster before dropping me.

I clasped my changed hands together as I was falling the monster held its claws up to block me but the force I put behind my attack was too much for it forcing it to drop its guard as I fell to the ground landing on my feet. The girls then followed by attacking the sides and back of the monster "*RARRRRRRRRGH*" it roared in anger

"This monster is very resilient" Noire said "Less talky more slicey" I told her as I charged the monster and punched it as hard as I could sending it back a few feet I didn't let up there as I jumped at its face and grabbed one of its horns and with all my strength I broke the horn right off and stabbed it into the monster's arm "*RARRRRGH*" It screamed in pain I then held its arm and punched the horn in like a stake the monster screamed in pain at this as It pushed me off with its other arm.

"Alrighty then now it's down an arm," I said a little happy the girls then came in slashing at its other arm as it sloppily blocked them while breathing heavily. I got back up and ran towards the monster it was now standing on one leg its arm was still limp and it looked very tired I grinned as I charged towards it and drove my fist right into its heart "Not so tough now are ya'" I said to it as it was surrounded by those tendrils and absorbed like the dragon was.

The girls looked at me in a little shock at how it just disappeared in the fashion I described to them my body started pulsing with tendrils as my arms became completely covered in them. When the tendrils died down my arms were now a bulky looking black with red in areas it looked like something a monster would have. Past my arms were now huge 4 clawed hands that were sharp enough to cut steel "Well this is … new" I gave my claws a little wiggle then slashed at the air with them testing them out the girls came down to me.

"I don't even feel like questioning it right now" Noire said I just shrugged "I don't know either but I don't think I mind too much" 'Let's see if this is like the other weird transformation then...' and the claws disappeared replaced by my normal arms "Doesn't matter we are done here we should return to the Basilicom and tell Histy the monster is dead" Neptune said as she grabbed me and started flying off "W-wait for me sis!" Nepgear shouted flying off after her Neptune.

"I see that is a relief, but from the description of the monster it seems it is new as there are no records of such a monster" she turned to me "As for you I do not know what is affecting your body otherwise get some rest" I nodded and left towards the guest room.

"I'm so confused as to what happened today..." 'Why is my body like this? It was completely fine until this morning… WAIT! That dream I had some guy injected me with some weird liquid… could it have been the cause of my body acting weird today? But that was a dream, wasn't it? I'm so confused' and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _ **Props to you if you know what I did**_

 _ **~Ant**_

* * *

 ** _Hey Neptune come over here for a sec_**

 _Yeah what is it Me. Antsco- Anatasco- Antobasco... Mr. Ant_

 ** _I swear my name is a curse and everyone gets it wrong the first try... Anyways *points to notepad with something interesting on it*_**

 _Hmm? What is that... wait are those what I think they are? Also wouldn't that be weird you normally keep that to yourself.._

 ** _Yes but that is reaching a close until I work out part 3 or if I even do a part 3 ... but should I? It's an option or should I save them for when the story really begins?_**

 _I dunno... could ask some bot to answer it or maybe have people answer through a review or you could just contemplate it. It's not a bad idea and it gives the OC more of a backstory in a way... but knowing you, you would probably have a hard time keeping track of everything. Personally? I say do it... but wait until we really start it._

 ** _I'll take your word but it's gonna be a hell of a time and really spivey and they will at least get shown off instead of staying 'there' forever._**

 ** _... shit we started discussing things in front of the readers ABORT MISSION!_**

 _*nowhere to be found*_

 ** _wow she's fast when she needs to be... *chases after her*_**

 ** _( :) )_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N** **Have you ever cringed so hard it felt good? Or ever felt so conflicted between cringe and confusion/amusement? Well after what I just saw I ain't sure whether this is real life or not but it very clearly is real life… this is a feeling that is so unbelievably awkward and good at the same time it is completely unquestionable… anyways onto the actual chapter.**_

 _ **Chapter 5: The Siphon, The Blade, and The Stone**_

* * *

I woke up in a grassland with ancient stone structures and a church like building 'Now where am I?' I move on towards the only standing structure the church. The inside was mostly destroyed the place was basically falling apart but somehow managed to stand except for one thing that is in pristine condition, a large marble table. I walked over to the table and as I got closer I noticed the items on it.

A wooden staff that looked like a tree branch, the top of the staff is golden and spear-like although its split into 2 prongs, in-between the prongs inside the wood is a green gem. Then there's the butt of the staff, golden like it's top with a similar gem, it takes the shape of a pointed cross.

Next up is a fragmented blade. Although broken the blade still crackles with power, it is curved in shape with a wooden stock, golden rectangular hilt, and broken golden flat edge that would support the back of the blade.

Last us a small red stone as big as a pebble, it glows with power but it is also cracked in a few places.

I walk around towards the back of the table to look for anything that might tell me what these items are, lo and behold there's a plaque below each item.

Under The Staff it reads "The Siphon, a powerful staff that can fuse elements cleanly and with precision."

Under The Blade reads "The Blade, a weapon once used to slay a god now fragmented and broken, it can separate elements cleanly with precision."

And then there's The Stone "The Stone, a fragment of the once whole Philosophers Stone, it is said to be able to bring back the dead as if they never died, or even grant a longer life than that of a normal human."

After reading the plaques I look back towards the items wondering why they are here and why I'm even seeing them at all these thoughts plague my mind until a voice speaks up "You seem troubled as to what this all is?" I snap my attention in the direction I heard the voice and see a female figure in a black cloak "Would you like to know why I brought you here?" I stare blankly at the figure before nodding, she gestures at me to follow her and I do so.

We arrive in a garden and she sits down on a bench and motions me over, I join her. "I know of your 'condition' and the man who gave it to you" my eyes widen at what she said "You do?! Then tell me who is he and what do you know of this 'condition'" she looks over to me then back to the garden "His name is lost to the ages but he is known for making peoples lives 'interesting'… as for your 'condition', there is a way to cure you but it will not be easy" at the hearing of the words 'cure' jolt my head to face her "There is?! Please tell me how."

"It is both simple and not so simple. The cure for you is those 3 items back on the table… however, they are scattered around Gamindustri the locations of The Staff and The Stone are unknown to me but The Blade is hidden away in a ruin to the west of Planeptune."

"Even if you were to find it you would still need someone who can repair it. Now to actually cure you is simple; have someone use the blade to separate the virus from your body by destroying all infected cells this will kill you though, however with the other items you can come back. Have someone place The Stone on your chest and another channel the power of The Staff to fuse the powers of The Stone with your body, not just anyone can do this though you will need people of great magical power to be able to use the items properly."

"It is simple, yet no so correct?" I nod at this 'A way to save me from this fate…' "Finding the items will not be a simple task as 'he' will send his subordinates to stop you as he cannot enter the world directly."

"Hmm? It seems like my time is up farewell young man" her words were fading as a bright light shined in my eyes. I woke up back in the guest bedroom of the Planeptune Basilicom. The time reads 1:03 pm as I exit the bed and walk towards the door. when I opened it I was greeted by Neptune "Oh hey you're up. I was about to go get you but it seems I don't have to anymore" I sigh at her statement "Where is Histoire I need to ask her something" she points down the hall "That-away!" She beams with excitement I however just nod and walk off towards the direction she was pointing at.

"Hey Histoire can I ask you something?" She turns to me and tilts her head slightly "Yes what is it?"

"Is there a Ruin to the west of Planeptune at all?" She ponders the question for a moment "Yes there is but it is long since abandoned not even monsters roam it. Is there something that you need from it?" I nod at this "Yes a broken sword" I reply but she looks at me in slight confusion "Eh? Why would you need a broken sword?" I sigh "It's complicated I'll explain when I get back" then I just walked off towards the elevator and off to this Ruin.

* * *

When I arrived at the Ruin it looked run down to the point where it would collapse at any minute.

… 'Hmm?' I turn around and stare intently at a bush 'Hmmmmm...' "Neptune I know you're there" I hear a quiet 'shoot' as she comes out rubbing the back of her head. "Can I ask why you followed me? This doesn't concern you… yet" I mutter the last part "Well Histy said you were searching for some kind of sword and it sounded interesting so I decided to tail you… eheheh" 'Hello face meet palm you will be acquainted many a time throughout this story… probably,'

"Listen I wanted to do this alone as it could be very dangerous… doubt that will stop you though" muttering the last part "Don't care I'm coming whether you like it or not" I sigh and just start walking into the ruin "HEY! Don't leave me behind" Neptune shouts from behind me.

 _ **{For maximum immersion please head on over to youtube and play "The Elder Halls" from RuneScape 3 … as much as I loathe the game over its classic counterpart there is a reason for this}**_

"What's with the ominous BGM?" Neptune says aloud "Neptune please it's for immersion only those who understand the references will get why the Author selected this track I mean seriously he would never select it under any other circumstance because 2007 is the version he prefers."

 _ **#EoCSucksMajorDick**_

After half an hour of literally nothing but walking we reached a dead end "Eh? This is it? Are you sure your sword is here?" I nod and inspect the wall for anything amiss "There's a draft..." I mutter as I turn to Neptune "Hey can you destroy this wall?" Her face lights up "Yes Sir!" She salutes me.

Neptune transformed and drew her sword and in moments the wall was destroyed revealing a hidden staircase I grin at this "Easier than I thought" Neptune transformed back and we descended the staircase.

After what felt like an eternity of stairs we finally reached the bottom a large hall and at the end of it a large green table of stone "That must be what we are looking for…" I mutter as I walk towards it torches on the walls light up in a green flame until we reached the table.

"Sooo… this is what you were looking for? It's a broken sword" The Blade then crackles with power 'Definitely what I seek' "Yes this blade is very powerful from what I read on it, it was once used to slay a God" Neptune shivered a bit at the part about 'Slaying a God' "Don't worry though its intended purpose is to separate elements cleanly with precision it's one piece of the puzzle that can cure my 'condition'" Neptunes' eyes widened at the idea that I could be cured.

"Really?! It can do that?!" I nod "Yes but at the cost of my life 'tis why I say it is a piece of a puzzle" I place the pieces of the blade in a case as I say this "The other items are what will make this work as they will revive me, however, their locations are unknown and there is someone out there who will try and stop me" I start walking back towards the stairs "First though we should find someone who can repair the blade."

* * *

We finally made it back to the Basilicom and the first thing I did was make my way over to the kitchen counter and lay down the broken sword piecing it together although it is broken "Is this the blade you were searching for?" Histoire asks and I nod "Mhm, just need a way to repair it this blade is ancient and powerful repairing it would not be an eas-" I stop as the blade crackles with power around the parts where it is broken.

The power dissipates and the blade was still crackling with power but it was no longer broken "O… kay… den… that is convenient" I grip the blade by its handle and I felt its immense power "Whoah…" 'Alrighty then the blade is good but now I need…' "Histoire I'm still missing 2 more items can you use your super knowledge to search for them? First is the staff named The Siphon, then there is the small red pebble named The Stone" I then describe the items and she nods "I'll see what I can do but may I ask why you need them?"

After explaining the plan to Histoire she turns towards a room and I continue to observe The Blade before grabbing it again this time a name enters my mind 'Jas… wonder who that is' storing the blade away I return to my room to sleep for the day.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _**This chapter is short however the next chapter will make up for the shortness of this one**_.

 _ **To those who get the reference congratulations although I hinted at it already if you don't know what I referenced just scroll up a bit :)**_

* * *

 ** _"When it really begins they will arrive…"_**

 _"Oh really now? But what will you do with the both the MC and 'Him'"_

 ** _"I do not know yet but… 'She' will be taking 'That'"_**

 _"Well, when you do work it out tell me~ I really wanna know because the three are quite the interesting pieces of work… Say? How did you even come up with them"_

 ** _"It was during the 'Thing.' Originally I planned it for you but changed it because I had an interesting idea… then I got deeper and now we are here"_**

 _"The Queen, The Jester, and The Nerd… a trio of interest…"_

 _ **"..."**_

 _"..."_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6: A Staff Of Considerable Power**_

It took a few days to get the location of The Siphon but after constant searching, the staffs' location was found and I planned to go ASAP… that 'was' the plan at least.

"This is a joke, right? You are joking, right? Histoire please tell me this is a prank and there are hidden cameras" Histoire just sighed "It is not a joke young man, the staff you are looking for is in a ruin at the bottom of the ocean" and that right there is my problem. Why does everything have to be overly complicated to a point where it makes you want to pull your hair out? I will never know.

"So… how exactly are we going to get there?" Neptune asks "Simple answer would be a submarine… but we are forgetting one crucial thing."

"Water + me = bad time, so basically you will be going without me" 'I really hate this right now, of all things it has to be at the bottom of the damn ocean' "Oh, that sounds bad…" Neptune says with a slightly sad tone "No shit Sherlock…" I mutter 'The hell am I supposed to do now.'

"Alright here's the plan you two will traverse the ruin and search for the staff while I sit and wait here for you to return" 'Alright let's get this show on the road…' "I'll be keeping in contact through Histoire since the signal will probably die down there" Neptune nods at this "Lastly be careful I have no idea what could be down there and there is still someone out there who will try to stop you so be extra careful" the girls nod and hop in the submarine while I wave them off.

* * *

 _ **~ Back on Earth 2 persons of considerable interest are having lunch ~**_

"Here is your meals" a waitress delivers 2 plates of food no one actually cares about what is on the plates though "Thank you" a lady responds while the boy sitting across from her just gives a thumbs up.

"Soooo… have you heard anything yet? Its been a few months now" the girl asks "Nope, nothing has come up where the hell did that damn nerd disappear to" the boy responds as he begins to dig into his food "One day he's here the next day he's gone, no contact whatsoever even missed your birthday" he says as he swallows his food.

The two left the diner and walked towards the car they came in "Where else haven't we checked yet?" the boy asks "Only one place left and that would be 'there'" the girl responds "So we checked every possible location and that is the last one huh… been a few years since we all went down there. Man, I remember when we bought a bunch of alcohol and got completely smashed that day, good times" the boy says reminiscing the day.

"Hey, remember that time where we all nearly got expelled?" The boy asks the girl and she laughs a little bit "How could I forget? We set off 3 fire alarms in 3 different places of the School then proceeded to pop off all the sprinklers in the halls" the 2 started to laugh "I don't know how that fucker did it but he pulled the most perfect lie I've ever heard right out of his ass and we somehow avoided expulsion" the 2 laughed at the memories they have of their friend.

"Well, here we are guess we should check where he normally got off his bike" the boy suggests and the 2 make their way towards a small clearing "Hey, isn't that?" the girl starts "Yeah it's definitely his bike but it's all rusted and worn out" he walks towards it inspecting the bike "But if the bike is here then where is he? I doubt he would just leave it out here" the girl starts "No clue, no clue at all, but we have an idea of where he last was, I say we search this place and look for anything he might have left behind" the boy answers "Agreed."

* * *

 _ **~ Back in the Hyperdimension with Neptune and Nepgear ~**_

Oooh yay, we get to follow me around in the story for once.

" _ **GOD DAMMIT IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN 5 DAMN SECONDS AND YOU."  
"Why do I even bother."**_

Sheesh, no need to get angry. Now then let's see what me and are up to.

"Wow so many buttons, I wanna press em' all," I say ' **Neptune can you see the ruin yet?'** Aww man he went and ruined the moment ' _Nope'_ I tell the interrupter of the button pushing spree ' **Also don't touch anything, I don't wanna hear how you somehow managed to self-destruct a submarine that has no self-destruct'** wow he's no fun I would never do such a thing, never in my whole life.

 _ **3 hours before departure**_

"Neptune how in the hell did you manage to self-destruct a submarine with no self-destruct!" Stop, stop, stop. We can't look at this little flashback it's uhh, a bannable offense! "You have five seconds to answer me" oh crud "5…" shoot what do I do "4…" uhh hey Mr. Author can you like move on from this scene pretty please? "3…" shoot "2…" what do I do if I tell him then I'll really be in trouble "1…" I don't like that stern voice "Alright, alright I may or may not have pressed every button inside- NEPU!?" Owwie that hurt what a meanie.

 _ **Current Time**_

Mr. Author is a big meanie, huh? Oh Hey! That must be the ruin… I think "Sis I think that's it right there" my lovely little sister points to the huge stone structure "So… how do we get inside?" I ask my lovely little sister "We should be fine if we transform according to Histoire" wow how boring I was expecting some convoluted spy like scene but now it sounds really boring.

"C'mon we should get inside" we left for the inside. "So Histoire was right this place has a magical air bubble on the inside what do you think can make this happen Sis?" Nepgear asks "I do not know but we should be on guard who knows what could be lurking in the depths."

Although we moved through the ruin there were no monsters "This place gives me the creeps" Nepgear says "Do not worry it will be fine, we can handle it" I reassure her as we continue to fly through the ruin 'This place is oddly still in decent shape, makes me wonder what could have sunk the place.'

We finally reached a large room but it was mostly empty save for a few pillars 'Hmm? What's that? It looks like a wheel but that is one odd wheel' I float over and pick up the wooden wheel-shaped object. The wheel is split down the middle and being held together by metal struts that form into a circle in the middle of it all 'Where would this be placed now?'

Constant searching for somewhere the wheel could be slotted yield no results there was one place we haven't tried yet, that being the middle of the room which houses a stone pedestal.

I positioned the wheel on the stone pedestal and it starts opening up revealing a slot just big enough for the middle of the wheel as it slides down into the stone pedestal. The pedestal then moved upwards revealing a stone base "Sis I think you got it!" Nepgear says happily as I eye the wheel 'I wonder if I tried turning it something would be revealed…"

I start turning the wheel counter-clockwise until it can't turn no more but nothing changed in the room "Odd I would have thought something might open up guess I was wrong" I sigh "Maybe something changed somewhere else in the ruin?" Nepgear suggests and I nod to her suggestion.

We searched high and low but nothing changed 'I'm beginning to think we came here for nothing' Nepgear claps her hands together "Oh! I know maybe something opened up outside" I look at her with a serious look before sighing 'She is right… we haven't checked outside yet.'

When we got outside we flew around the edges of the air bubble 'Hmm? What is this' there was an open doorway on the right side of the ruin near the bottom "Nepgear! Come over here, I think we found what we opened" Nepgear flies over to me "Oh wow nice one Sis."

* * *

As we moved through the newly opened hall there were no monsters in sight it was quite unsettling also hallways don't light up as you move through them that's just abnormal especially in a place this old.

When we reached the end of the hall we were faced with a large room bigger than the one with the wheel and at the back of the room was a stone table and floating above it was a staff "I would assume that is the staff we seek?" Nepgear then pulled out a piece of paper with the description of the staff "Yes that would be it Sis."

We moved inside and started flying towards the staff but stopped at the sound of chains " **Do you seek The Siphon?** " A loud gruff voice rings throughout the room "Yes we do" I answer it " **Then so be it** " it said, " **I am the guardian of The Siphon, The Lost King, Varzin.** "

The one who calls himself Varzin moved into view he stood 10 feet tall clad in battle-scarred black gladiator armour, the helmet was cracked revealing 2 glowing red dots that I would assume is his eyes. His weapons were 2 large war axes that appeared to be slightly dull and chipped in places the axes had chains that wrapped around the armour. Lastly was 2 sword sheaths on the back of his armour with 2 hilts sticking out.

I drew my sword and Nepgear her gunblade as we prepared ourselves. Varzin was the first to make a move although for his size he was considerably fast he slammed his axes down on me but I dodged it quite easily and attacked his side however his armour was tougher than I thought as it didn't make a dent. Nepgear shot a pink beam from her gunblade at Varzin which knocked him back slightly I took this opportunity to attack his head but he blocked my strike with his axe and swung his other axe at me knocking me into the wall.

"This guy is quite tough, this will not be an easy fight" ' **Neptune have you found the staff yet?'** ' _Yes, but we are in the middle of a fight right now so we need to concentrate'_ ' **Alright just don't get yourself killed'** ' _We won't.'_

Nepgear shot him with another energy beam and I moved in close attacking his head which broke off some bits of his helmet " _Cross Combination_ " I use my skill as he is still dazed from the last attack. I ended up breaking most of his helmet off he growled in response as he removed the rest of his helmet revealing his skeletal head and red eyes.

Faster then before he charges at Nepgear who has a hard time dodging his quick strikes I move in to block one that nearly hit Nepgear but he pushes me away with ease "Such strength…" I mutter.

* * *

 _ **~ On Earth ~**_

"We've searched this place for the last few days but nothing," a boy says in a slightly pissed tone "I know, I know, just where could he have gone" a girl replied "Perhaps I could be of assistance?" a new voice speaks out "Huh? Who said that? Show yourself!" the boy replies.

"My name is not of importance and you would not be able to see me anyways," the voice tells the boy "Excuse me Miss but what do you mean by 'Perhaps I could be of assistance?'" the girl asks "You are looking for your friend no? I know where he is but there is the question of whether you want to join him or not."

"What do you mean by 'join' him?" the boy asks with slight anger in his tone "Do not worry boy he is not dead merely in a place far away from here" the voice reassures him "How far are we talking?" He asks "Would you believe me if I said he was in another Dimension?"

"Nope because it sounds crazy," the boy tells the voice "Excuse him Miss but how would that even work? I know he's the kind of nerd who likes that kind of stuff but I doubt he would ever be able to make something that could pull something like that off" the girl asks "That is a secret" the voice replies.

"But enough of that, I would like an answer. Would you like to join him?" the 2 mulled it over before the boy signaled the girl over "You don't actually believe this right?" The boy asks the girl "Well we don't have anything else to go on he's completely disappeared with no trace other than his bike" the girl tells the boy and he looks at her like she's crazy "We can't just trust random people we can't even see you understand this right?" The boy says "I know but it's been nearly half a year and we still have nothing."

The boy sighs before speaking to the mysterious voice "Alright we made up our mind take us to him" the boy tells the voice "Very well then give me a minute and it will be done" 'This better damn work' the boy says in his head 'I hope we get to see him again soon' the girl says in her head.

"Goodbye and good-luck," the voice says to them and they fall unconscious.

* * *

 _ **~ Back with girls ~**_

"HYAAAAAA!" I shout as I charge at Varzin slashing at his head " **ARGHH!** " He responds with a cry of pain " **ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS!** " He shouts as he throws his axes at the walls embedding the blade in them as the chains leave his arms, he then pulls out his sheathed swords and charged directly towards me faster than before.

He swings in all directions much faster than he did with his axes forcing me to play defense " _M.P.B.L_ " Nepgear says as she charges her gunblade with a pink energy before shooting it at Varzin sending him back a bit. The chest portion of his armour crumbled at this revealing a beating heart protected by bones I look over at Nepgear and she nods back.

I taunt Varzin to keep him busy while Nepgear charges up a blast to destroy his heart "Come at me bonehead" I say as I charge at him. He swung his swords down and I flew back before charging in again striking his boney legs which forced him to fall to one knee. While down I attacked his other leg making him fall onto both knees as he used his swords to support him I glanced over at Nepgear and she pulled the trigger releasing a thin but deadly beam of energy which pierced his chest armour and the beating heart destroying it.

" **Well done you are worthy of taking The Siphon young warrior** ," Varzin says in a defeated tone as he disappears into embers. I look over at Nepgear as we approach the table with the staff floating above it "Do you feel its immense power?" I ask her and she nods "I wonder who could have made such a powerful staff…" I grabbed the staff and stored it in the case James gave us.

As we were leaving the ruin water started flooding the place so we had to get out quick but we did make it back to the submarine in time just as the air bubble collapsed and water rushed in over the ruin.

* * *

 _ **~ Somewhere in the Hyperdimension ~**_

"Urgh my head hurts" a boy groaned "Quit complaining idiot," a girl tells him off "What even happened where are we?" The boy asks "I don't know… all I remember is passing out in that field" the girl replies they were in a forest clearing the weather was nice at least nicer than the god-awful weather of Australia

 _ **(Seriously fuck everything about this Country's weather it literally cannot decide whether it wants to be hot or cold like c'mon just like can you don't?)**_

"I get this strange feeling the Author just complained about the weather," the boy says "Shut up idiot," the girl tells him "You two who are you?" A new voice calls out from above the two look up to see a woman floating in the air "Holy fuck look at thos-" before he could finish his the girl kicked him in the side "OW! What was that for?!" He asks the girl angrily and she gives him a cold glare "Never talk about a lady's 'assets' in front of them" she tells him coldly "Yes Ma'am!" he salutes her.

Above the two is a woman in quite a revealing outfit 'Insert joke about how less = more with armour' the boy says in his head.

The outfit exposes most of her stomach covering her hips and other 'areas.' Her chest is only covered ever so much revealing the underside completely 'Does this girl know no shame?' The girl says in her head.

She's wearing large white gauntlets with black spikes protruding from the ends. Her legs are covered up to her thighs in the same material that the rest of the outfit uses, and her boots are for the most part white with green at the toes. Lastly, she has long green hair tied into a ponytail, purple eyes with power button symbols replacing her irises and a set of pink digital like wings split into 6 pieces.

"Ignore him, Miss. May I ask where we are?" The girl asks the woman "You are in Leanbox the nation of which I am the ruler" the woman says 'Leanbox? That sounds familiar… wait, ruler of the nation…' "I see…" the girl mutters "It is quite an honour to meet one of the world leaders, may I ask your name?" The girl asks the woman.

"My name is Green Heart. What about you 2? What are your names?" 'Odd name but whatever' the boy says in his thoughts "I'm-"

* * *

 _ **~ Back With James And The Girls ~ (Sorrynotsorry)**_

"So you got the staff?! That's great! We can finally move onto the next step" Our lovely male protag praised and paused "Finding The Stone and getting rid of this damned disease" finishing what he wanted to say as he took the case and started walking back towards my nation.

* * *

 _ **~ Guess who's back? Back again… psst it's the mysterious duo ~**_

"I see so you two have been searching for your missing friend and when this 'voice' offered to take you to where he was you two went with it and ended up here. Am I correct" Green Heart said 'I still won't get over that whole form change whatever it was' the boy said in his thoughts as he took a sip from some tea "This stuff is good… like _really_ good" the boy tells Green Heart "Why thank you I made it myself" 'I get this strange feeling that some idiot Author prefers coffee and even finds Turkish style _decent_. I mean cmon it's literally muck.'

 _ **(It's not that bad you know… maybe I'm just used to it…)**_

"It is really good I've never had anything like it before" the girl exclaims with a smile "So tell me how long has your friend been gone for?" Green Heart asks "Nearly half a year…" the girl says with a slightly sad tone "I see… can you tell me what he looks like so I know who to look for?" Green Heart asks "Sure" the boy replies and they give Green Heart the details.

"I see… thank you I will put word out in the guild and get back to you two when I can, for now, enjoy your stay" Green Heart says with a smile and the two leave the Basilicom.

"So… now what?" The boy asks "I don't know but maybe we should start looking for work, I doubt our money would even work here if what that mysterious voice said was true" the girl replies and the boy nods "Alright but where do we start?"

* * *

 _ **~ Like a boomerang… you should probably know what this means by now ~**_

A few days have passed since the girls retrieved The Siphon and we only now just got the location of The Stone… problem is… "I swear if I die I will find the person who buried it and kill him in the afterlife" as you can see I'm not very happy turns out the stone was among some buried treasure in the middle of fucking nowhere.

"This is the worst… nothing could possibly top how bad this is. WE HAVE SEARCHED EVERY DAMN INCH OF THIS DAMNED DUNGEON! WHY DID THIS DUMBASS HAVE TO MAKE IT SO DIFFICULT" I shout in frustration … literally, I have dug in every possible place of this dungeon but found nothing why does this have to be so fucking annoying.

Moving over to the next dig-spot I begin shoveling dirt until the dirt caved in and I fell into a hole deep enough to make you go splat "HEY! ARE YOU ALRIGHT!" Neptune calls out to me "Just peachy…" I mutter.

Taking a look at my surroundings I'm in a cave the walls are lit up with multi-coloured crystals I start heading deeper into the cave as the girls catch up with me.

"Hey! Slow down already" Neptune complains I just wave her off and continue down the cave. Finally reaching the end of the cave there's a large stone with carvings I can't read but I'd assume this is where we need to dig so I start digging.

Finally hitting something I clear out the dirt to pull out a small wooden box inside it was a cushion with a small red stone laying on it "Fina-fucking-lee…" I mutter "Ya find it?" Neptune asks I just give her a thumbs up and we leave towards where I fell.

When we exited the dungeon we were met with a new face a large knight clad in silver armour pointing a large sword at us " _ **I will be taking that stone now thank you**_ " the knight spoke in a deep and slightly distorted voice "Go fuck yourself with your sword this fucking tiny stone was a bitch to find" I tell him coldly " _ **I don't think you understand young man. I will be taking it from you whether you like it or not.**_ "

"Screw you jackass you ain't having shit today," I say as I draw my sword and the girls transform "I agree with our friend here. You will not have this item!" Neptune tells the knight.

" _ **So be it… for my master, I will obtain that stone…**_ "

* * *

 _ **~ Yes, yes you know the drill now get a move on we still got at least 1k more words left ~**_

"You know this is actually kind of _fun_ " a boy says excitedly as he slashes away at a Dogoo with twin daggers "Weirdo…" a girl mutters as she takes out another with a slash from a short-sword "Oh~ c'mon~ we both know you're also enjoying this" the boy teases "Say another word and my foot _**will**_ meet the place where the sun don't shine" she tells him coldly "You're no fun" he pouts.

The duo returned to the guild "Thank you for your work Miss Queen, Mister Jester" the lady at the desk hands them their reward "Can I ask why we used those names?" The girl asks the boy "Because Author doesn't wanna reveal our actual names until we hit the next arc" the girl groans at his reply 'Idiot always wanted to break the damn wall and now he finally gets his chance… the problem is he does it all the damn time' _**(IREGRETNOTHING)**_ 'You shut up.'

"Still got nothing on the nerd… _sigh_ when I find him I am so gonna beat his ass" the boy says to the girl "Uhuh, just like you ' _beat_ ' his ' _ass_ ' all those other times…" the boy glares at the girl "Alright, alright I'll admit we always drew… as much as I hate it" he muttered the last part under his breath.

"Hey! Asshole Author hurry up and reveal our damn appearances already ya fucking mug" the boy says

 _ **(Prick. Fine… first I should make it clear the 'boy' is nicknamed Jester and the 'girl' is nicknamed Queen, well, partial nickname I'm saving the full nickname for the big meetup)**_

Jester is the middleman rather he's not the oldest or the youngest of the 3. Aged at 19 years he has short chocolate coloured hair with a slight spike, his eyes are hazel, and he's wearing a black t-shirt with a red unzipped hoodie over it. Lastly, he has dark green cargo pants on paired with green runners. Weapon of choice: Dual wielding daggers.

Next up is Queen the eldest of the 3 at 20 years old. She has medium length dark-blonde hair tied into a ponytail, coupled with her dark blue eyes. She wears a plain white t-shirt, black baggy jeans that has a black belt with a silver buckle on it, this couples with her red runners. Weapon of choice: Dual-edged short sword

 _ **(We done?)**_

"Yes thank you," Jester says happily.

* * *

 _ **~ BACK TO THE PIT (you get the drill… hopefully) ~**_

We've been fighting this damned knight for half an hour now "This guy pisses me off… a lot" I say to the girls "Less talking more fighting" Neptune tells me 'Sheesh that form of hers can be so different it's beyond weird' dodging a horizontal slice from our friendly lad clad in armour which is now dented and cracked in places also the helmets' bottom half completely broke off revealing… nothing actually… creepy ass knight.

" _ **Fools, even if you defeat me my master will beat you down**_ " the knight says in his distorted voice "Your 'master' is a dick sucking fuckhead who can fuck off back to his own country" needless to say this insult irritated the night 'I get this strange feeling the Jester is laughing his ass off right now.'

" _ **You will pay for insulting the master!**_ " the knight says in his distorted voice as he charges at me and slashes at my chest I simply jump backwards "Missed me with that g- whoops" I stumbled a bit and he ended up landing a hit on my arm " _Critical Edge_ " Neptune charges at the knight slashing at his cracked armour breaking off more pieces of it.

'Seriously what the hell is even making this thing even move… what's that?' I saw a light move through the armour it was faint though 'Is it possible that whatever is keeping this asshole alive moving throughout the armour? Guess we can find out' depositing my sword I shift my forearms to the armoured form "Time for my secret punch-you-in-the-face-until-you-die fighting style!"

I start by hitting the knight in specific areas that aren't already cracked so I can create more cracks so I can just break it all at once. It took some time like, 10 minutes or so but I finally got enough cracks into this fucks armour "Roll the dice…" I mutter "TWENNEH!" I shout the girls back away for a bit as I charge at the knight reeling my fist back "I. PUNCH. HIM!" and punch hard enough to break down all the armour at once.

A small crystal drops from where the armour stood I pick it up and crush it in my hands "Asshole…" I mutter as my arms return to normal "Alright let's head back because even with the items we still need people who can use them."

When we returned to the Basilicom I pulled out the cases for The Blade and The Siphon and placed The Stone next to them all on the kitchen counter "Alright we have all of them all we need is someone to be able to use the staff and the blade… any suggestions as to who can use the staff? I have an idea of who can use the blade."

Histoire was the first to suggest someone "How about MAGES.?" 'Hmm? Who would this be' "Who is this Mages you speak of Histoire" I ask her "First it's MAGES. with a period second, she's a strong magician" 'That makes literally no verbal sense… I feel like this was said before' "Alright that works. When will she be available?" I ask her "I will contact her and ask her when she will be available. May I ask who you chose for the sword?"

"I was thinking 3 options" I start "Option A. Neptune. Option B. Nepgear. Option C. Noire" Histoire looks at me with slight concern "Are you sure? I'm not sure if either Neptune or Nepgear could pull it off" I nod my head "I'll ask Noire tomorrow if she can because I too doubted that Neptune and Nepgear can't pull it off."

After the serious discussion I headed off for the night.

* * *

 _ **~ Hellooooooooooo Traveller ~**_

"Think we'll see him soon?" Jester asks "Dunno, maybe, just hope he's doing alright we could try some of the other nations?" Queen replies "Sure we can try the day after tomorrow" the 2 head off to sleep.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _**Alrighty then that's out of the way I've revealed 2 mystery characters that were made some time back in my head if you haven't figured it out yet MC and these 2 are good friends, best friends they won't be meeting up til around chapter 8 though when things really begin.**_


	7. Chapter 7

_**Fun Fact: Reading the entire script of a game's cutscenes in one sitting is both amusing and painful especially when putting on a similar acting voice for it… definitely more amusing though**_

 _ **for the curious ones out there the name of the game will be down below or you could just like google it using the reference I'll probably put in**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 7: {Insert Shitty Chapter Name or Reference Here}**_

* * *

Turns out MAGES. is out somewhere and won't be back for a few days… this sucks 'Maybe I could go out and do something interesting like adventuring or whatever' … 'Maybe I could check that cave out? Heard some rumours that there's some all-powerful book there… yeah, that sounds pretty nice I'll do that.'

"Where do you think you're going buster!?" Neptune asks me from behind as I am walking towards the elevator "Out to check a rumour about this cave" I tell her she then runs up to the elevator and beckons me over "Sounds fun! I'm coming by the way" 'Sometimes I question my sanity around this girl… sometimes.'

"So… uh, wheres this cave?" We've been walking for like an hour now towards the supposed area of the cave "We are reaching the supposed area of the cave in around 3… 2… 1…" that was anticlimactic "Time to search for it now… oh well, that ain't ominous or anything" literally a huge opening in the middle of nowhere leading to a cave there's also a sign above it that says "Scary Cave of Potential Doomy stuff."

"So? Do we just walk in?" Neptune asks "What did we even come here for?" Neptune continues "A book" I answer her she just stares at me in confusion "A book?" she asks "Not just any book… a Legendary Book that holds the most useful knowledge ever that not even Histoire would know" I tell in some narrator type voice as we moved into the cave.

"So… about this Legendary Book is there like some kind of story behind it because I'm kinda bored," Neptune asks me

"This book is said to be stupidly powerful no one knows why though, some people have theorised that the book was blessed by a voodoo witch doctor, then cursed by another voodoo witch doctor like 20 minutes later, others say the original owner found it while exploring the treacherous caves of the Nightmare Princess where they found it on top of a **GIANT RUBY** , not just any ruby… a ruby that took shape of a skull… a _HUMAN_ skull."

"But you know what I think? I think that this book is haunted by all the souls of its previous owners, all of their dreams and failures mashed together into a frantic poisonous scramble of grumpiness and conflicting viewpoints… but I'm the dumb one right? I mean you got these voodoo… nightmare princess… thingies, easily the biggest crocks of sh- stuff I've ever heard in my entire life."

"But I'm the dumb one, that's fine…" I finish my story "Weird story but it was pretty good if I say so myself" Neptune tells me "Eh I guess…" I reply as we continue walking through this cave of potential horrors.

"So… this is the end of the cave, huh, and judging by the mound in the middle of the room I would assume something is buried there so…" I start digging with a random shovel that I found somewhere that isn't all that important. _DINK_ The shovel hits something so I check to see what I found while Neptune sits against a wall.

'A metal box this must be what I'm looking for' I take the box out and place it on the floor before breaking it open and finding a brown hardcover book with a bookmark in the middle. I flip to the page with the bookmark and I grin 'THIS IS THE MOST PERFECT BOOK EVER YESYESYESYESYES NOTHING CAN TOP THIS!' I ain't telling you what it is… don't get your hopes up just sit back and wait for when this book gets to be used.

"This is truly the most powerful book I've ever seen" Neptune adds looking at the page with me grinning widely, "I say we use it thoroughly against good ol' Noire," she tells me "It's like you can read my mind because that was my plan… alternatively, we use it against Blanc and get our asses handed to us on a silver platter… would be funnier though" I add to the brilliant idea.

* * *

 _Now you may be wondering what kind of book would be so perfect to be used in such a way? No? To bad I'm telling you anyway. You see if you ever wanted to piss someone off in the middle of a fight or just piss someone off before a fight this book would be a great way to do so because of what is written in it. I would tell you what is written in it but I was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie. You may ask "Who was wearing the bolo tie? You or the shark?" Answer? Yes… but enough of that let us go forward a bit in time to find out what happened after._

" _I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU" Blanc shouts raising her axe towards me swinging it down but just before it makes contact._

 _ *** Record scratch * * Freeze frame *** 'Whoa, whoa you see that guy right there? Looks like he's hit rock bottom… Well, that guy is actually me. Now I bet you're wondering how I ended up in this wacky situation… well it all started around 10 minutes ago'_

 _Woooosh…_

We made our way to Lowee's Basilicom the moment we opened a door a book came flying towards us… I ducked but poor Neptune got hit "Oww.." she yelped in a bit of pain. Walking up to the front desk "Is Lady White Heart around?" I ask the lady at the desk she nods and leads us towards some pretty large doors while from what Neptune told me Blanc's little sisters are setting up another prank or something.

"Neptune just so you know if we die today I'm not sorry it was worth it" we are both grinning because of this dumb yet perfect idea that will most likely get us killed at a percentage of 80 thousand percent.

"Heya Blanc how ya doin'" Neptune immediately speaks up trying to hold back the urge not to grin "Neptune? And you? What do you two want? I'm busy right now" she says a little angry but curious "Ahh, we wanted to show you this book we found" I say pulling the book out "Rumours say it holds knowledge that even Histoire doesn't know" I tell her and she looks at me curiously "Something even Histoire doesn't know? … That does sound interesting" she says in a quiet voice full of curiosity.

"Ahh, yes let's see here… Aha! Here it is" I say flipping to the bookmarked page "What does it say?" Blanc asks me with curiosity "Let's see here… Blanc, it says right here" I grin as I point to the page slowly turning the book around.

"That 'You' are a bitch" she looks at me registering the words and she looks very pissed on the page in large bold lettering spanning both pages reads 'Dear Sir or Madam you are a bitch' now you may ask why we did this in the first place, well the only reason is for a reaction like the one we are about to receive.

Blanc immediately transforms and brings out her axe charging towards me and Neptune but mostly me… roll the clip.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" She says as she swings her axe down at me. I manage to dodge just barely but Neptune already booked it meanwhile I'm running for my life 'THIS WAS A TERRIBLY AWESOME IDEA IM SO DEAD AFTER THIS' "GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU ASSHOLE!" Blanc yells as she chases me through the hall but I keep running.

"Haa… haa… that was good" I say exhausted to Neptune after finally losing the angry whiteboard "We… should probably lay low and avoid Blanc as much as we can so we don't die" this was one of the best worst ideas we had. The most important thing is who is the legend who wrote this and how it became such a legendary book because that lad or lass deserves a trophy.

We returned to Planeptune for the rest of the day and played video games til we dropped

* * *

 _ **~ Here's a fun fact while we switch perspective, the English voice actor for Plutia/Iris Heart is the same VA for Gaige in Borderlands 2… am I the only one who gets the strange feeling that this actor is just good at voicing characters who is potentially a psychopath? Anarchy is broken as fuck ~**_

"I get this strange feeling I just missed out on a horrible yet hilarious prank," a young man says aloud to his friend "Even if it did happen the only other person who could have done it is 'him'" the young woman says to her friend "So… where are we again?" He asks and the girl sighs "Lastation, how did you manage to forget? Wait don't answer that" she tells him.

The two made their way into the city asking people about their friend but to no avail.

"Still ain't got nothing on him… last place we could try is the Basilicom" the boy suggests "Huh.. didn't expect you to actually suggest something logical for once, either way, it's a good idea" the girl responds before making their way towards the Basilicom.

"Excuse me is there anyone here?" The girl asks and a staff member comes out to greet them "Hello there welcome to Lastations' Basilicom. How may I help you?" the lady asks "Ahh yes we're looking for a friend of ours who went missing some time back he looks like this" the girl asks and pulls out an old photo with 3 people all having a drink together while pointing to the guy on the left.

"I see I'll take this information to the Oracle and she can put in word from there. Do you have a spare photo for reference?" The lady asks and the boy pulls out a photo and hands it to her "Here ya go Miss" she takes it and the two proceed to leave the Basilicom.

"So now what do we do? Guild?" The boy asks and the girl just shrugs "Eh how about after lunch?" the boy nods in agreement.

"Watch your damn back dumbass," the girl says to her friend while slashing a wolf apart "Nah not when you're here" he replies in a cocky manner "I swear I will hurt you one of these days" she mutters while moving onto the wolf jumping at her.

"You ever wonder how he's doin' in this world? I mean he's always been the kind of guy who stays in the back and does shit from the shadows or whatever, he was never really a fighter although he might have decided to take up arms because what else can that nerd do" the boy asks "I don't know he might've but I guess we will just ask him when we see him again" the girl tells the boy.

"So what should we do once we find him?" the girl asks before speaking again with a smirk " _Drinking game_ " the two say at the same time "Oh yeah that will be fun, we can work out the specifics another day" the boy says "Agreed" she says as they start walking back towards the Guild.

On the way back the boy pops an earbud in and starts to listen to music on his phone while whistling to the beat… this annoys the girl "One of these days I'm going to break that phone of yours. You do this every time either you whistle to the song or you actually sing… although he's good at mimicking the singers" she mutters the last part under her breath although he still heard her "Heard that" he tells her "Asshole" she mutters quieter.

"The Author is just as bad though guy will literally write while listening to music and even sing like the weird cunt he is," he remarked.

 _ **(I admit to nothing except that I'm a cunt)**_

"Hey if we still have 'it' we should do that one speedrun and the fastest player is declared the winner of course on 'Furier' difficulty because it cant be too easy for us" the boy says to the girl as they walk into the Guild "Yeah we should be able to as long as I can access a computer I got the flash drive with all that is necessary. Kept it with me because it was his" she told him.

"Here's your reward. Thank you for your services" the lady at the front desk handed the two their reward and they left to go find a place to stay for the night.

* * *

 _ **~ IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW ~**_

I woke up in a good mood, however, I got this strange feeling that a contest is coming up and I won't like it.

"Good morning Histoire, Nepgear," I say as I walk into the kitchen "Good morning James," they both say "Ahh, yes before I forget MAGES. has returned early it seems so you will be able to do that soon."

'Huh, that's neat. Now then to get the 2 girls or Noire to do that first part' "When will she be ready to help? Do you know?" I ask her "Yes. MAGES. will be ready by tomorrow afternoon so you are free today, also please apologise to Blanc when you get the chance" 'Shit' "Alright, alright I'll do that later today."

I left the Basilicom after eating breakfast with the two 'I have this strange urge to buy the strongest whiskey I can get… ahh, it's probably nothing but I'll do it anyways, been a while since I've had a drink.'

I made my way towards some shopping center for the day to get some clothes to wear after this shitstorm is over and done with.

"Hmm, this will do nicely…" I say as I pick out some clothes.

After picking out everything I wanted I paid for my clothes still pretty glad Histoire managed a currency conversion because I'd be fucked otherwise. Next stop Liqourville Population: Me (Soon TM.)

"2 bottles of fun drink, 4 shirts, 6 pairs of pants, other stuff I can't be bothered to mention… alright off to meet my executioner… least I'll have something to drink before dying right?" I say quietly while making my way towards Lowee.

I should mention how much I hate drastic weather changes… one minute it's blazing like a desert the next it's like skinny dipping in the Arctic, this is one of those changes nice and warm perfect day weather then I'm in this cold unforgiving arctic wasteland. Not fun, not fun at all.

"You have some nerve showing up here. Give me a reason why I shouldn't kill you where you stand" as I was walking towards the city I was interrupted by a very angry chi- I mean lady who very much probably wants me dead "Uhh because I came to say sorry?" 'I'm dead and I damn well know it.'

" 'Sorry' doesn't cut it. The only way I'll forgive you is if you lie down and bleed" the angry greml- I mean Goddess tells me "Uhh, oooh! Idea! How about you wait til the shitstorm blows over and then for the entire day after I'll babysit your little sisters? Sound good enough?" I ask the fuming mid- I mean Lovely Lady.

"Fine. But..." she then kicks me to the ground "That was payback" 'Ow that hurt. I feel like I just made it worse for me though. Oh well, guess I'll return to Planeptune for now and await the inevitable end… hopefully.'

* * *

 ** _A/N Some pretty nice references if i say so myself game references are as follows. Furi (I should really do a full completion on Furier one day...) the obvious Borderlands 2 reference and the last one is a mystery that requires knowledge of a certain theatre that is run by weird cats (I thoroughly reccomend buckling your pants)_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Can't believe it's been nearly a month since I began this out of hatred for a damn boss things have been going pretty well if I had to say myself and slowly this story is approaching a pretty neato number in views. To be completely honest I never expected much from this I just had the idea for it when I was 'brainstorming' some ideas for the next sleeptastic adventure.**_

 _ **This idea was born from it out of like the 20 others or something like that I didn't really want anything special or strong about the OC because it ain't something I want to see.**_

 _ **This first 'Arc' was based off of me just getting back into an old game and most of the references are games I'm either playing or got on my mind at the time hence like the 8 billion borderlands 2 references because I'm currently replaying it all over again.**_

 _ **Anyways I'm here to say thank you for taking some time out of your life to read this story written by some idiot who has never had to use so much punctuation in his entire life and literally has no planning whatsoever, basically anything I write is just me going with the flow although I do have some plans.**_

 _ **Hope you all have a lovely weekend and Happy Mothers day this upcoming Sunday. There will be a special event after the chapter in celebration of the upcoming day.**_

 _ **Ant~**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 8: Press (X) to Respawn…**_

And the last person to arrive… drumroll, please … fine then asshole (It was me btw) "Alright now that I'm here we should probably get this done. Let me lay down the important stuff first, 1. After I die you have exactly 12 hours to bring me back if you don't do it in the allotted time I die for good."

"And that's literally it alright let's get this show on the road. Neptune if you will" she nods and transforms grabbing The Blade and steeling herself for the upcoming moment while Nepgear and MAGES. stand back.

 _ **~ tfihS evitcepsreP ~**_

"Alright, breathe. You can do this" I say quietly readying myself for the strike.

…

The sound of flesh being pierced and a scream of pain fills our ears. I pulled the blade out and he fell to the ground lifeless seeing it sends many a shiver through my spine but I calm myself so we can continue the process.

"Alright now we just need to place the stone over his heart and use the staff to revive him," I tell MAGES. and she nods moving towards him getting ready to place the stone.

"Like I would let you do that… he has been a bore to me and has made things quite difficult so I will not be letting you bring the boy back" a deep voice fills our ears and we search the area for its origin only to find that James' body is no longer there and there is a creature similar to the one from the attack carrying his corpse quite quickly.

"Quickly! We must not let it get away!" I shout at the others and Nepgear transforms to carry MAGES. while we chase the new monster.

* * *

The monster finally stopped after chasing it for a good thirty minutes. Our new location is a forest just outside Lastation and now we can finally look at our new 'friend.'

Unlike the previous one _**(If thou haveth forgotten goeth backeth to wheneth I introducethed it eth)**_ this one is half the size of it and has black fur, 4 horns instead of 2, and the spikes on its back are split and bigger. Parts of its body is covered in thicker fur like its chest and vital points. In its clawed grip is our dead friend.

 _ **(That sounds really weird to say also what to name these fuckers… they kinda just popped into my mind out of the blue, and as far as I know, don't exist in any game. Love to be more descriptive but the best I can come up with in terms of body shape is gorilla so think that…)**_

Now is not the time Author. We need to focus on the story and not your unimportant ramblings of the idiotic variety.

 _ **(Wow… rood)**_

"Alright you brute of a beast you will give our friend back or we will have to use force. I doubt you will listen though" I tell the monster but it growls back in anger throwing our friend behind it before charging at us with speed unlike before.

'For a monster, it is quite speedy. I will need to be careful' I carefully block its clawed strike with my sword pushing it away from me as it tumbles back, sliding on all fours.

 _ **For a little extra into what I was doing while writing this play "What We Fight For by Carpenter Brut" or just anything from Brut…**_

MAGES. decided to stay out of the fight to conserve her magic so it's just me and Nep. Jr. "C'mon Jr we got work to do" she nods and floats on ever to me drawing her gunblade. I drew my sword as the other one although powerful upon use it had broken into pieces like how we found it.

I flew in quickly striking its wrist but my attack did nothing 'So that fur is thicker because of some kind of armour underneath it, and to be able to shake off my attack like that? Must be strong.'

Barely dodging its next attack due to being in thought I move in again striking where the fur is less leaving a cut in its body. Nepgear blasted its chest pushing it back and doing some damage 'Swords don't work but judging from what just happened blasts from guns or magic might.' It moves at me with speed in a frenzy of strikes forcing me to be defensive.

I managed to block most of the strikes but I was grazed by a few " _Cross Combination!_ " Using my skill I dash at the beast striking it in the weaker places but I only get a few hits in as it blocked the rest. The best growls at me then Nepgear hits it with a blast to the wrist " **RARRRRRRRRRGH!** " 'Didn't like that it seems.'

* * *

 _ **~ "Boy" - Kratos 2018 ~**_

" **RARRRRRRRRRGH!** " Two friendly individuals heard a loud roar deeper into the forest they were questing "You hear that?" The boy questions the girl and she nods "Whatever is there sounds pissed whaddya say we join in?" She asks and he grins "Fuck yes!" And the two ran off into the direction of the roar.

When they arrived they were met with a blue-haired wizard known as MAGES. and just a bit ahead was Neptune and Nepgear fighting a beast straight out of my crazy mind "Yo… the hell is that?" The boy questions the wizard and she turns around to look at the two.

"A monster that took kidnapped someone" she answered the two "And who might you two be?" She asks "A lad and a lass searching for their missing friend. But right now we are just huntin' monsters" the boy answers "And who might those two ladies fighting the monster be?" He asks.

"The CPU and CPU Candidate of Planeptune. You aren't thinking of fighting that beast are you? I've watched its moves so far and it is quite a brute… and they're already gone…" she tells them but they already rushed over to the monster the boy giving it a surprise attack to the face "Knife to meet ya!" He yells at the beast.

The girl groans at this "Every damn time..." she mutters while joining the girls "Hi there we heard the monster and came to help… ignore him, he's an idiot" she tells them as they briefly stare at her and the boy "Are you sure? This beast is quite a fast one" Neptune asks her but she waves it off "We'll be fine."

The boy rejoined them "This guy is a _cut_ above the other monsters we've fought" he says and the girl groans "Are we really doing this now?!" She yells at him but he just shrugs as they all get into position.

"Be careful of its claws, and anywhere the fur is thicker is armoured" Neptune tells the two and they nod. The boy is the first to move in, and boy is he fast rivaling the beast's speed. He attacks in a flurry of slashes leaving cuts all over the beast's body before kicking off of it "Show off…" the girl muttered blocking a strike from the clawed monstrosity.

"Strong one aren't ya!" She says as she pushes its claw back after a struggle with the beast. Not wasting any time Nepgear blasts its chest again. It roars in response charging at her slashing at the girl who just barely managed to dodge.

"You're wide open buddy," the boy says as he slashes at the beasts' arm leaving many cuts in it. Neptune then moves in and slashes at its back causing it to growl and switch to her slashing in a frenzy.

The girl follows from behind the beast and stabs it in the back of the back of the leg causing it to drop its pursuit and drop onto its knee. The beast turned to its attacker and in a pained frenzy started slashing at the girl. She managed to dodge most of the slashes but was grazed by some.

It jumped up into the air to slash down at the girl only to be knocked out of the air by a blast from Nepgear that sent it tumbling back into a slide " **RARRRRRRRGHHH!** " It screamed as the armour covered by the fur broke apart revealing flesh.

The boy pulled out a sidearm and took shots at its chest but it covered it with its clawed hand "Well then now that is quite a problem there you ugly fuck… so do you mind just layin' down and dying? Kay' thanks" the boy tells the monster but it growls in response before some of the spikes on its back break.

Picking them up the monster then threw the spikes at the ragtag group of fighters who barely managed to dodge the spikes some getting a graze or two. " **RARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHH!** " The monster roared as its fur started to change colour from black to white, the spikes all retreated back into its body and it readied itself.

"If I was to take a guess.. I'd say it's on its last leg so we should be far more careful" the boy says as the girl looked at him like he was crazy for saying something not stupid for once before snapping back to the monster charging at them faster than before.

The monster attacked Neptune first in its crazed frenzy but she manages to block its attack as Nepgear slashes at its damaged arm slicing it clean off. " **RAAARRrrRRRrrGGHHHh!** " It roared in pain as its it started to bleed heavily "Now's our chance!" Neptune shouted and the 3 combatants rushed the beast slashing at its exposed chest.

* * *

The beast fell and like other monsters disappeared into that data like way. The two newer combatants were exhausted and took a seat up against some trees "That was quite fun" the boy exclaimed to his friend to which she nodded.

"Thank you for your help but we have to cut this short we have something important to do," Neptune says and the two nod as they rest for a bit.

"Alright, I think he was thrown over beyond those bushes come on you two," Neptune tells the two girls as they move towards the presumed bush finding their friend.

MAGES. moves over and places the stone inside the hole in his chest as the other two stand back to let her do her thing. She held the staff in front of her infusing her magic into the staff causing the top to start glowing. Pointing the staff at the boy a white light beam moves in a spiral towards the hole in his chest reacting with the stone.

The wound closed itself healed completely as MAGES. fell to her knees exhausted from using so much power. " _Cough, Cough._ That felt awful" James said before trying to switch his forearms to their armoured like form which failed completely "It worked…" he muttered as Neptune breathed a sigh of relief.

The two new combatants joined the girls to see what that bright light was but what they found was surprising.

"No fucking way…" the boy said and James turned towards the new voice "Its the damned nerd…" he said again as Neptune and Nepgear turned to him confused "Least I ain't an idiot," James said to the boy.

"Umm, do you two know each other?" Nepgear asked and the 3 turned towards her " _ **Know eachother? What don't we know of eachother**_ " all three answered at the same time "Jinx you two owe me a smoothie" the boy said the other two just muttered under their breath.

"I can't believe my eyes right now but in front of me are you two in the flesh… I'm not dreaming right? That is you correct? Alex? Maddy?" James asked and the former flashing a grin while the latter smiled "You know it!" Alex said and Maddy nodded.

* * *

"So these two are your best friends from before you ended up here? Correct?" Histoire asked and James nodded "And if I get this right you two were searching for him since he went missing how long ago?" She asked the two new faces "Nearly half a year" Maddy answered "Whoa holy shit that long? I've only been here for a few weeks… that is some time difference" James said surprised.

"Now then onto more serious matters… drinking game..." Alex spoke aloud to James and Maddy the former grinning in response and the latter smirking "Alright you still remember the score?" James asked and Alex pulled out a piece of paper… why he keeps it on him no one knows not even I.

"I've won 3 times, you've won twice, and Maddy is still sitting strong at 10 wins… girl has an iron stomach" Alex muttered the last part "Umm, I'm confused" Neptune said looking at the two as James made his way to grab the bottles of whiskey.

"Well for a long time now we had drinking games while playing games and the one who manages to survive the longest is declared the winner. Game choice is random and the rule for drinking is based on something that doesn't happen too often but often enough to warrant the game… oh and he's back" Alex answered the small Goddess as James returned with whiskey and 3 shot glasses booting up the console that Neptune normally plays on.

The game they slotted in was a RPG… "The rules are simple every time die on a boss fight we take a shot. Difficulty is set to hardest we can do" James explained to everyone in the room Neptune was just watching for fun "You think this will be enough for us though?" Alex asked pointing to the 2 bottles "Good point… but I don't wanna go out and get more… got any on you? I know you like your drinks" James asked Alex who sighed pulling out 2 bottles of similar whiskey from wherever it was stored.

"Sweet.. now then. LET. US. BEGIN!" And the game of fun started _**(Don't try this at home kids… or do I ain't the boss of you.)**_

Roughly 4 hours later and 3 bottles of whiskey empty we find our winner "And that makes 3 wins for… me..." And now he passed out "Well then… that was an experience don't you think Nep. Jr?" Neptune asked her sister who nodded in response. "Well we should probably head to bed ourselves Sis," Nepgear told Neptune who nodded.

The two sisters got up and left Neptune giving a quick glance back at the drunken friends. Alex is facedown on the floor Maddy over the arm of the chair and lastly James head facing down as he is sitting up against the chair he was once on. "This place is going to be far more lively now…" Histoire sighed heading off to bed herself.

* * *

 _ **SPECIAL EVENT**_

Neptune, Nepgear, and Maddy were out shopping in Lastation. The sisters were looking for a mothers day gift for Histoire while Maddy was there to help them pick one out.

The 3 entered the flower shop where they were met with a familiar face one of a certain tsundere. "Oh hey! It's Nowa" Neptune called out to Noire who suddenly had chills go down her spine as she turned to face our childlike Goddess.

"W-w-What are you two doing here?!" She asked the two before noticing the new face "An-And Who are you?" The slightly flustered Nowa asked as Maddy eyed her "Huh, guess I owe him 100 credits now she really does get flustered quite easily…" this only made the wild Nowa be the tsun she is.

"I do not get flustered easy. You just surprised me is all" this emitted a small laugh from our purple haired girl "There she goes being all tsun-tsun" she teased which only made the Goddess in black flustered even more "I-I am not a ts-tsun Neptune!" Suddenly as if the world had wished it Alex appeared from behind Noire and in his best Steve Irwin impression.

" _And here we have the wild Nowa in its natural tsundere mood. Be careful because it is angered quite easily and is often known as the biggest loner in the world. When approaching the wild Nowa use caution and always keep her in the 'Flustered' state to deter her from slicing your head clean off._ "

This made the purple bundle of joy burst out laughing and the other 3 a mild chuckle while Noires' face went completely red "Hahahahahaha… that was _pft…_ really good" the Nep went.

Needless to say Nowa was angry "I am not _Lonely_! And my name is Noire!" she shouted at the 4. "You keep telling yourself that girl… you keep telling yourself that" Maddy said with closed eyes and a head shake.

"But seriously why are you people even here?" Nowa asked-

* * *

 **(I FINALLY FOUND YOU!)**

 _ **(Shit… listen it was just a jo- OW)**_

 **(Serves you right hmph)**

 _ **(Note to self: Do not piss of Noire)**_

* * *

"We came here to get a mothers day gift for Histy. What are you doing here?" Neptune told Noire who immediately got flustered "I-I'm here f-for u-umm, s-s-sorry g-gotta go" and she ran out. "That was weird… anyways lets hurry up and pick something!" The girls and boy then searched the store for flowers to get for our fairy of the book.

When the girls and Alex returned back to the Basilicom they had a bouquet or violets and lilacs wrapped in plastic and ready to be delivered.

Making their way to where Histoire was Neptune hid the flowers behind her back as Nepgear opened the door. "Hmm? What is it you two want today?" The fairy asked "Well… we came here to say…" Neptune started as she pulled out the flowers and at the same time the sisters of Planeptune said the magic words.

"Happy mothers day Histy/Histoire!" They had a smile on their faces as Neptune held the flowers out to the book fairy who was surprised.

"Thank you so much you two. You make this fairy happy even though you can be a pain sometimes." Histoire said with a smile as she hugged both girls.

On the other side of the door are our 3 friends "It both warms my heart and breaks it to see those 3 like that" Maddy said to the two who both nodded in agreement "How many years has it been now?" Alex asked "13 years" James said with a sigh "Hey least we got each other right?" Maddy asked the two boys who nodded.

"Friends til the end just like when we were kids…" James said

"No turning back now…" Maddy said

"Got that right…" Alex spoke and the 3 took a walk that day to reminisce old times

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ _**And this concludes the first arc the next will begin next week starting with Chapter 9 with the 2 new characters finally revealed to be who they are let us go over their little nicknames that I never finished because I was waiting. These were mostly created because of something else…**_

 _ **Alex – Idiot Jester**_

 _ **Maddy – Sly Queen**_

 _ **James – Lying nerd**_

 _ **the idea behind the names is because in the older days they got into much trouble… a lot.**_

 _ **Thank you all once again and have a happy mothers day!**_

 _ **Ant~**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Officially a month yay. Here's a little info for you.**_

 _ **The reference I made some time ago about a certain theatre will be revealed for those who do not get it. Battleblock Theatre a fun game there's some other references around if I remember but if you can't figure it out just go watch all the cutscenes 'tis good.**_

 _ **On another note, this chapter will mark the beginning of me wanting to die a little because I have to go back and rewatch scenes from RB3, since that is the plan for where the fun really begins.**_

 _ **Other than all that fuck 'The Line' on furier… damn asshole always throws me off and makes my so far 0 game overs become 1-whenever I kick his ass.**_

 _ **Btw to the reviewers got some words for ye. 1. Nothing is planned yet… 2. I am a proud Aussie cunt**_

 _ **ONTO THE MADNESS.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 9: A Bird? A Plane? Nah just a bunch of idiots free falling**_

* * *

"NEPTUNE!" Oh boy and here we go again another lecture from our fairy every week this happens… "Hey, guys I got an amazing plan… and in the words of a funny announcer '"To heck with Hatty and my friends, they'll be fine" then I'd pack myself a nice bag lunch, show these cats my _**faaavourite**_ finger. Then I'd make like horse turds and hit the trail'" Alex said to Maddy and I which we promptly nodded to and got the fuck out.

We could hear the yelling as we left through the front door of the Basilicom "Now what? We escaped the fairy who could potentially talk us to death" I asked the two who shrugged in response. We gave it some thought until Alex piped "Virtua Forest..." he began "Rum run" Maddy and I finished with a smirk on our faces.

Now you're probably wondering what the hell that is, and I'm here to explain it. It goes like this; We all get drunk and we have to fight our way through the forest til we reach the checkpoint we made while also carrying a miniature barrel filled with alcohol.

The rules are simple.

-We get a really shitty short-sword to fight with and we must stay on course.

-If we drop the barrel, the sword, or we fall over, we are out.

The winner is whoever gets to the end first or whoever makes it the farthest

This game is not stupid… trust me I'm a doctor.

 _ **(TBH This sounds like a fun thing to actually do IRL if you have friends… I have no friends)**_

And a few hours of stupidity, drinking, and the worst attempt at traversing a monster infested forest later. We all managed to pass out… in the forest of course… I got nothing for this.

* * *

 _ **~ This is the dumbest idea I think I've ever had… wait. No. I've had worse. I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed ~**_

"Oh, hello what do we have here… 3 problems that could be taken care of all at once… this will do just fine" '?'¿ said as light covered the 3 drunken lads.

When the light dissipated they were nowhere to be seen.

 **(** _That is really cliché author…_ **)**

 _ **(Shut up Neptune… wait how did you even find this place? Wait don't answer that I never leave my room unless I absolutely have to… so it ain't hard to find me … and no there is no pudding only sweet delicious sugary soft drink… that I really should have less of.)**_

 **(** _What kind of person doesn't keep pudding in their homes?!_ **)**

 _ **(A kind that actually has never eaten them before nor can be bothered to try them because of his soft drink problem… now vamoose I'm busy here.)**_

* * *

 _ **~ See the numbers, taste the violence ~**_

Our 3 heroes? Are currently falling from the sky and only now just starting to wake up mid flight… did I mention they have a hangover? Because they do… did I also mention there are no rules? Because there are no rules, ANYTHING GOES!

"Urg, I feel like shit," Alex says aloud as he groggily wakes up "Can you not be so loud?" Maddy says in an angered tone waking up slightly better than the others "Why don't you both be quiet… wait why does it feel like something is off" James says as he wakes up far better than the two because it says right here that the 'plot' demands it.

The three open their eyes fully to the world below which looks small due to being, oh I dunno… a few thousand feet in the air!

"Hey, guys…" Alex was about to speak "Shut up we know already!" The other two yelled back at him "Harsh crowd…" Alex muttered.

A few hundred feet late "Hey! If we survive this! I'm gonna kill whoever thought this was a good idea!" Maddy yells "Be my guest!" Alex yells back. Meanwhile, James might as well be having a panic attack after processing what exactly is happening "This is it. This is where I die. Why did it have to be falling of all things, whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy" He mumbles in his state of panic.

"Get it together ya wuss, ya already died once so you can get over it already!" Alex yells at the poor boy,"I was still quite terrified when that happened asshat! And that was quick and painless!" He began "THIS?! THIS IS DIFFERENT!" He yells in a very angered manner.

"WILL YOU TWO STOP ARGUING LIKE CHILDREN!" Maddy snaps at the two as they make their descent to the 1000 feet left mark.

500 feet left except 2 of the 3 were slowing down through magical plot convenience because I said so. Our protagonist hit the ground first… although technically he was the only one who hit the ground as the other 2 floated down harmlessly landing on their feet.

"How convenient..." Maddy mused "I agree" Alex replied… "Everything hurts. I feel like I got hit by a stampede of trains that also explode on contact…" The poor protagonist said in a slightly muffled voice from hitting the ground face down.

"Oh good you're still alive," Maddy said with relief "Chock it up to important plot-related convenience that he's even still alive, and unharmed… hopefully" Alex told her.

The 2 made their way to some rocks to sit on while they waited for their friend to get up.

A good hour of sitting around and our lad finally gets his ass off the ground.

"Thank you so much for helping me up…" He said to his friends sarcastically to which they both smiled "You're welcome" Maddy replied cheerfully to which James just muttered under his breath.

"So anyways… do we know where we are? All I remember is passing out drunk as fuck" Alex asked the two who shrugged in response "I dunno. What I do know is that it was fun as fuck to do that yesterday, way more fun than the times before, mostly because of the monster slaying" James responded.

* * *

We decided to get a move on to find some kind of civilisation… hopefully.

"Hey I think I see Planeptune," Maddy said pointing to the distant purple city "Let's just hope Histoire doesn't lecture us for going out and drinking for fun" James replied as they walked towards the city.

Or at least that's what they thought until they ran into a familiar and unfamiliar face.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" A familiar tsun voice shouted "Why don't you watch where _you_ are… going… Noire?" James spoke first "Huh? How do you know my name? Who are you?" 'Noire?' Questioned, "Isn't that Lady Tsun Heart?" Alex questioned to the other two "Yeah… but she looks different" Maddy replied "More importantly what is she doing out here? Isn't she the leader of Lastation?" Maddy continued to which James promptly nodded.

"Hey! Stop ignoring me!" 'Noire?' Yelled at the 3 now talking to each other and promptly ignoring the girl in front of them.

"Well, it's only the tsun so we don't really need to be here, so… back to travelling" Maddy spoke. They were about to move on until they were interrupted by a young looking girl with long and messy iris coloured hair braided into a ponytail, magenta coloured eyes, a mostly blue dress that's far too confusing to actually describe because I'm mostly an idiot, white, purple, and orange thigh high stockings, and lastly slippers?

"I finaaaaally caught up to you Noire..." the girl spoke slowly before looking to 3 amigos "Hiiiiiiii… my name is Plutia… who areeee you?" She asks in a cheery voice and tilted head.

"Umm, okayyy then…" Alex said "Well my name is Alex" he continued then pointed to Maddy "That's Maddy and…" pointing to James "That's James" the two waved in response.

* * *

"Why are you following us?!" Noire yells at the three as they walk towards Planeptune.

"We aren't following you, we just happen to be going to the same place, the real question here is what are _you_ doing here? Shouldn't you be worrying about your own nation?" James answered.

" _My_ nation? What are you talking about? I'm not a CPU" Noire answered however this triggered every alarm possible in the 3 brains of the 3 friends "Umm, yes you are… I distinctly remember the first time I met you. You were transformed and we fought 'til a purple idiot intervened so we wouldn't kill each other" James replied to her.

"Sorry but I've never met you before today, and I can't transform because I'm not a CPU." The argument between them continued for like an hour until they arrived at Planeptunes' Basilicom.

"This place is smaller than I remember… are you sure this is the Planeptune Basilicom? Because I'm pretty sure you would remember a building that puts a skyscraper to shame, especially considering your fear of heights" Alex asked and James was about to reply but Plutia interrupted him "Yeeeeeep… this is Planeptunes' Basilicom" the 3 looked at her blankly "Are you sure?" Maddy asked and she nodded with a giggle.

"Something fishy is going on here, and I definitely don't like it one bit. It must have something to do with that scary albe- … wait, scratch that no one here wears a top-hat that's glowing red and stuff" James said to his two friends, "Maybe we should talk to Histoire, although I'm worried she might lecture us for like 3 hours on our drinking games" Maddy spoke up but this resulted in a questioning and excited? Gaze from two people not associated with our group of wonder.

"You know Histoire?" Noire questioned to which the 3 nodded "Yeah we do… mostly because she lectures us on the dangers of alcohol" Alex answered muttering the last part. Needless to say, Noire was sceptical of the 3 so she decided to find out if they really did tell the truth.

"Alright then let's go meet her and we will really see if you know her" she huffed in her normal tsun like fashion while gesturing them to come along to meet 'Histoire?'

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ **_Sorry to cut it short but I got some important shit tomorrow and as of writing this it is getting quite late although I kinda spent most of the day watching youtube while writing this on the side… I'll try to make it up to the sick cunts reading this by going extra long on Friday._**

 _ **~Ant**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**The big One O. Here's where things start to become interesting… re-watching scenes will suck though.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter X: Praise the perfect one… (This title has nothing to do with the actual chapter so ignore it and just continue praising the perfect one{If thou does not know what 'The Perfect One' is, go play the calamity mod for Terraria})**_

* * *

"Question" Alex speaks up "What is it?" Noire asks "Can I keep her please?" He responded.

Hold on real quick we seem to be missing some importanto text, something happened that we clearly missed here. Oi Author you mind going back a bit and properly follow what happened at the end of the last chapter.

 _ **(Fiiiiiiiiineeeeeeee but just this once. Next time I won't be so nice. Okay I lied everything happens because that is the direction of my mind)**_

"Histoire! We're home!" Noire yelled out when we entered the place.

"Welcome back Noire, Plutia" a higher pitched voice called out to them as she floated into the room.

"Hmm? It seems we have some guests. Hello, my name is Histoire ( ^ v ^ ) /" hold up did she just use an emoticon? How the hell? _**(Stop questioning things Narrator)**_ Never!

Cue the first line of text please… or just scroll up… or don't I can't force you to do anything. Or can I? HehehehehahahahhaHAHAHHAHA _Ahem_ you saw nothing continue on, please.

"( '_ ^ _ ) Eh? Keep? What do you mean by that?" Histoire asked "It means exactly what it means. You are extremely adorable and I want to take you back home with me so pl-" Alex was answering 'til he was rudely interrupted by Maddy who knocked him the fuck out.

"He deserved that. Although he is right, you are tiny and adorable. More importantly is the question as to whether you are actually Histoire... Because I don't remember you being this tiny."

"I agree with Maddy on this. You were never this small" … "Well I have 2 theories that may answer this question" James began "1. We're all dead… though that likely is the more impossible answer."

"Or 2. Time Travel which is also illogical as fuck" He finished "Onto more pressing matters. Where is Neptune? Now I get that she can be the laziest Goddess ever but I mean she's normally around the Basilicom like 99.99% of the time."

"Neptune… that name sounds familiar…" Histoire muttered, "I am not sure what you mean, could you please explain it to me?" She asked.

"You alright Histoire? I would think you knew Neptune the best I mean you are her oracle after all… granted you do all the work" James asked muttering the last part "I'm sorry but I do not know who this 'Neptune' you speak of is" she answered.

"Huh? I'm confused now. How don't you know Neptune she's literally the Goddess of Planeptune?!" James questioned which elicited a confused look from Histoire until Noire decided to butt in "What kind of crazy are you? The Goddess of Planeptune is Plutia, not this 'Neptune' you're talking about."

This made the two natives from the land down under look at Plutia with the kind of look that says 'You fuckin' with me mate?' "Sorry what? I can't legitimately believe that after the events I've witnessed" James said before looking over to Maddy "I think we had one too many drinks last night…" James whispered which Maddy shrugged in response.

"Pics or it didn't happen," Alex said as he got up from his Maddy induced sleep "Seriously though can you actually back those words up with fact? I know we can… I think" he continued as he moved over to his friends whispering to them "We did take a commemorative winners photo during our little drinking party."

The two shrugged "Dunno, that night is still a little hazy so we should check our phones I guess" James whispered back "Does that mean I can transform?" Plutia asked in an excited tone that is questionable "Well if it proves the point please do" Maddy answered while Noire and Histoire looked a little pale and were about to stop Plutia but it was far too late.

"Yay~ transfooorm~" MY FUCKING EYES. THAT IS REALLY FUCKING BRIGHT. TURN IT DOWN PLEASE.

 **(** _ **As you can see the Narrator is experiencing technical difficulties… you see he's new here and hasn't been introduced to the bright light that is these overly exaggerated transformations. Apologies… I'm not actually sorry)**_

Finally, the light is gone holy fuck that was way too bright. Moving on.

When the light dissipated there was no longer the slow and sleepy little girl but instead a woman in an outfit that would give Vert a run for her money except now its black and magenta. Her hair violet coloured, and unlike her smaller form, it was left to flow freely. Lastly is her red heys with the same familiar power button that you would probably never actually see on any current day console… maybe a PS2 or PS1?

"I am both impressed and disappointed at the same time. Impressed that she actually is a CPU, and disappointed that you could actually back up those words of yours. But this only raises more questions" James began.

"Oh? And what kind of questions would these be?" Plutia asked "Exactly how are you the CPU of Planeptune. This makes no sense whatsoever considering that there should only be one CPU per nation yet now I've met not 1 but 2 Planeptune CPU's" James answered.

"Now I'm starting to think we did time travel, but that still doesn't add up correct from what I was told. Noire said she wasn't a CPU but that doesn't make sense since CPU's are born from the faith of the people, well, that's what I was told at least" James continued.

"I, therefore, conclude that I, James, AM EXTREMELY CONFUSED PLSHELP!" He finished as Alex walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder "Don't worry buddy because… IM CONFUSED AS WELL, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE YELLING!"

"I DON'T KNOW AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" James responded before the two were promptly left unconscious by our lovely lady who has the be the adult in almost every situation involving these idiots.

"Ignore these idiots. Anyways it would be nice to have some kind of explanation, although from what you have all told me I think I figured it out already… I expected the nerd to figure it out first but I guess he's just that, a nerd" Maddy said to the girls in the room muttering the last piece.

And with that questions were asked and answered until the boys woke up like 2 hours later to which they got an explanation to everything while Noire, Plutia, and Histoire went out for reasons unknown.

* * *

"So we somehow managed to travel to another Dimension… again? You sure about this Maddy?" Alex asked to which she sighed "Well considering it happened once it could happen again, plus I have no other way to piece it together as nothing adds up. Anyways let's go over what we know so far" Maddy answered.

"First, we are somehow in another dimension."

"Second, CPU's here aren't born from shares, rather they can become one through a certain rare item called a CPU Memory."

"And Lastly, We don't have a clue how to get back to our home? Or is it 'new home'? Doesn't matter" Maddy went over these in much more detail but that's like far too much text so we skipped ahead in time and shortened it so the authors' brain doesn't crash trying to explain it in more detail and not get distracted by the background music.

Suddenly the door to the Basilicom opened and 3 people entered although you probably already figured out where I'm going with this… hopefully.

"How many times do I gotta say it?! Are you listening to my words!? I'm me! And you know me, Noire!" A loud childlike spoke when they entered the Basilicom "Hey doesn't that sound like…" Alex started and the two others nodded in response.

"Ugh, this feels hopeless. She must've hit her head really, really hard." Noire said.

But hey even the word hopeless has hope in it… plus if you rearrange the letters it spells peeslosh… the last part was probably… unnecessary… I'm sorry.

"Aww, so Neppy is gonna die…?" Plutia asked meanwhile the three lads + lass look at each other with a concerning gaze "Oh boy, we are in for a ride aren't we" James said to the two who sighed and nodded in response.

"I'm not gonna spin the bucket! If I up and croak, the fanfic would probably end way quicker than the author wants it!" Neptune said in a mildly angry tone "You're so stubborn, Noire! I mean, pretending not to know me is a good joke for a few minutes, but keeping it up is the same as bullying!" Neptune continued as the 3 friends sighed "Should we tell her?" Alex asked but there was only silence "Nahhh," the three said together.

"I'm not pretending. I have no idea who you are. However, I believe there are some others here who do know who you are" Noire responded to the pudding obsessed Goddess "And there she goes again! Then how come I know all your secrets? Huh?! Wait? Others?" Neptune told the legendary tsun.

"Whooooa, you know her secrets…?" Plutia asked completely derailing Neptune's question and starting up more madness "Yeah, right. Fine, let's hear all about me. Come on, don't be shy." Noire responded derailing this further than it needed to be. Hey while it's still derailed does anyone want to get some ice cream with me?

"Okay! I'm gonna do it…!" Neptune said with pep. "Hrm-a hum-a… _**(Do not question it that is literally the text straight from the game {**_ _Hey! Author! Who said you could butt into my important dialogue?! Huh!?_ _ **}(Whoops, gotta go)**_ I'll start with an easy one. Noire, you're the CPU of Lastation!"

"Ooooh! Wow, Noire… You're a CPU, too…?" Plutia asked surprised "No, I'm not. Well, not yet… But Lastation sounds like a pretty cool name…" Noire replied muttering the last part.

"And you got a kid sister named Uni!" Neptune continued "Gosh…! I had no idea you had a little sister…" Plutia said surprised "HEY! IT SAYS GULLIBLE ON THE CEILING!" Alex shouted out.

"Huh? What was that?" Neptune asked but no one responded so she shrugged it off. "And I don't have a little sister Plutia. If I did, I would've introduced you."

"And thirdly. The clincher! Noire has no friends!" Neptune said in a slightly teasing tone this emitted some small laughs from our three musketeers. _**(You know even after all this time this game still gives me a good laugh.)**_

"Gah!" Noire responded completely surprised by Neptune's words "Aww, you don't have any friends? That's soooooo sad…" Plutia said in a slightly sad tone "Huh? Waaaait, does that mean _we_ aren't friends…?" Plutia questioned _**(Fun fact: every long word said by Plutia is 110% accurate down to the letter. No seriously you could go back over every line of text and find out for yourself.)**_

"Wh-What are you talking about?! We're, y'know, we're…f-friends…" Noire said "We are? Yaaaaaaay…!" Plutia replied happily "Huh? Plutie, this is gonna be an itty-bitty awkward question, but are you really her friend?" Neptune asked. You know what's more surprising? The fact everyone is currently in the same room but completely oblivious to our 3 friends.

"Uh-huuuuuh! My beeest buddy." Plutia answered, "Hey, when do you think they'll notice us?" Alex whispered to the others "To quote the author 'Soon™ sometime maybe never one day eventually' taken directly from his Reddit bio" James answered.

"H-Hey! Don't say something embarrassing like that out loud!" Noire said in an embarrassed tone _**(Fun Fact 2: My punctuation is god awful that the text from the game has more punctuation in the few lines I've written so far compared to my entire story… probably.)**_

"A friend, huh? Noire…actually has…a friend?" Neptune said completely caught off guard "Noooo! She's a clone! This Noire is totally fake!" Neptune blurted out "Wh-What?! That's pretty offensive, y'know!" Noire responded a little irritated.

"Oh, woooow… I had no idea you were a clone this whole time, Noire!" Plutia said completely surprised by this new development "I'm NOT A CLONE! You really need to stop believing every little thing she says!" Noire responded.

"OK then let's stop this madness before it gets out of hand. Firstly, hello Neptune. Second, I'll explain everything so far" James said getting up from his seat dissolving the soon-to-be-argument before it happened "Huh? Wait! Jamie?! Alex?! And Maddy too?! I'm so confused right now" Neptune said shocked.

And so Neptune took a seat while everything the three know so far was explained to her.

"So you're saying we're in another Dimension?" Neptune asked to which the three nodded "Well I guess that's believable considering where you three are from… speaking of which I'm kinda curious about your world. You said that everything is far different compared to Gamindustri but never really explained it" Neptune continued.

"That is true we never really did go over anything. Well, we have some time so why don't 3 take a seat and we can give some cool information" James responded which the 3 girls took his advice and sat down.

"First and foremost. God's and Goddesses are mostly just spoken of in religion and mythology, personally, I don't believe in any of them, although I will admit mythology is pretty dope" James began.

"Unlike Gamindustri there are far more nations and countries… Like waaaayyyy more" he continued "Also unlike Gamindustri, monsters don't exist, so basically the world sucks and is boring as fuck, although video games made up for this, to be honest."

"There are other things as well but the author is not gonna bother to look them up and would rather not be bothered to do so since in his words 'Modern society can go suck a fat one'" Alex said.

"Shit it's getting late we should probably find someplace to stay," James said to which the two nodded as they got up off of their seats and made their way to the door "See ya tomorrow Nep" James waved as they left the place in search of a hotel.

On the way, the three started up a discussion "Hey, Maddy, you remember what Noire said earlier about CPU Memories or whatever they are called" Alex said "Hmm? Oh, those what about them?" She asked, "Well, it's pretty interesting how you can become a world leader with a rare item, other than that, the power that comes with it would be pretty enticing don'tcha think?" He replied.

"What, you thinking of looking for one?" Maddy questioned Alex who shook his head "Nah, I think James would agree with me on this one though, the power sounds nice and all but the work that comes with it is just far too much responsibility for someone such as myself" Alex told Maddy "I do agree. Power sounds cool and all but I'm not interested" James responded.

"What about you Maddy? What's your opinion on it" Alex questioned to which she shrugged "Well it does sound pretty good if you ask me, the power is interesting but the whole nation thing is a bit of a turnoff. If there was an option to not deal with the whole nation portion of it I might actually go looking for one" Maddy answered.

After this, they entered a hotel and got a nights rest and awaited the next day although I hope someone has gotten an idea for some plans I have for our characters here minus our main lad, although I'm still debating what to do with our resident idiot. MOVING ON NEXT DAY PLEASE I'VE SAID TOO MUCH.

* * *

It is now the afternoon and here we find our trio out in the field on some quests because they are very bored.

"That's another quest down!" Alex exclaimed "Y'know we make a pretty good team if I say so myself" He continued as the three moved through field to their next destination "Well, I can agree with that, although I'm kinda curious where did you learn how to fight Alex? I know Maddy was fascinated with swords once upon a time and learned how to use one properly."

"Didn't learn from anywhere I'm just hittin' them with whatever" Alex answered "Now that I think about it…Where did _you_ learn how to fight" he asked our resident protag "Hmm? Oh, I had Neptune teach me" James answered his friend "That explains it…" Alex muttered in response.

They now moved into a cave for their next set of quests here's where things get super interesting I think. As they cleared their quests they were reaching the end of the cave "Alright this should be the last one and by far the most difficult of them all. We have to take down some kind of monster called an Ancient Dragon" Alex said.

"We should be careful then, I remember fighting one before but that was a different situation, they are still tough bastards, although those other monsters put up more of a challenge than the dragon could so I think we should be good," James told his comrades.

They found the dragon sleeping which proved great for our trio "Well, well, well guess tonight is the night for a surprise attack on the sleeping beast of old" Alex mused as he drew his daggers. "So how do you guys wanna do this? All out attack 'til he realises he's getting ass blasted. Or we could do one big attack" Alex asked his friends to which they smirked, "I think we all know what to do" Maddy answered.

And so they went with the more fun solution… hint: it's the first one.

They attacked the sleeping beast relentlessly leaving a few gashes here and there before it finally realised what was happening and gave off a loud roar " **RARRRRRRRWGH!** " The dragon slashed at James sending him back a bit leaving a slash on his arm which immediately started to slowly close and heal itself.

Confused? Right nothing ever got explained because the author is a bit of a dick go yell at him. Anyways due to the incident, the small piece of the stone is now fused with his body which not only revived him but gave some extra benefits, like regeneration of wounds, the bigger the wound the longer it would take to heal although he ain't invincible. Do enough damage and he will die, destroy his heart completely and he's fucked.

Other than that he also has increased endurance which is neat I guess. MOVING ON.

Alex dashed at the dragon's legs slashing his daggers as fast as he can and moving as fast as he can to dodge the attacks from the dragon until he was eventually kicked away. He tumbled a bit as he regained his footing "This will be fun!" He said with a whistle to which the other two just sighed.

Maddy came in next stabbing her sword right into the right leg of the dragon which caused it to roar in pain and knock her away towards a wall when she pulled her sword out "Ow, that hurt" She said as she rubbed the back of her head "Oi, Maddy, you alright?" Alex asked to which she nodded "I've been better. Watch out!" She called out but he couldn't react in time as the dragon smacked him over to the other wall.

"Alex!" The other two yelled at their friend to which he just gave them a thumbs up signalling he's not dead. They sighed in relief "Least the cunt ain't dead" James mused "C'mon you two we got a dragon to-" James spoke but was interrupted by the dragon smacking him over to where Alex was.

"Wow, what a cunt," He said as he was getting up but the dragon was having none of his shit as it charged towards him and pinned him against the wall "This feels like déjà vu for some reason…" James muttered as he tried to push the dragon off him, but alas it did not work because this is important plot-related bullshit… obviously.

Alex was still sore so he's having a hard time getting up right now so the only one who was in the best condition right now was Maddy. As she was getting up she nearly tripped on something, when she looked down to see what it was there was a small crystal that had a slight glow to it coming from inside it.

She took a quick look at it when she recognised it due to the power symbol inside it _**(I MEAN IT WAS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS)**_ "Isn't this one of those CPU Memories? If what Noire described was correct this should be one of those. Guess I'm pretty lucky to have found one, although I don't know what to do with it since I have no real need for it, and throwing it away seems pretty shitty. Guess I could give it to Noire?"

* * *

 _ **(HAHAHAHA AS IF. ALL WILL NEVER BE EXPLAINED BECAUSE IM A RIGHT CUNT)**_

She pocketed the memory and ran over to where the dragon was and sliced its arm causing it to lose its grip on James "Thanks, Maddy. Hmm? What's with the glow coming from your pocket?" He asked as Alex was starting to get up. She pulled out the memory "Oh it's this I found it just now, it's one of those CPU Memories Noire spoke of. Guess I got lucky finding one before even she could" She answered them.

"Huh, didn't expect you of all people to find one I expected Alex to find one first, to be honest. He is one lucky cunt" James responded to this development whereas Alex gave a thumbs up.

"Anyways we should deal with this dragon for now," Maddy said as the other two nodded and got into position and got ready to fight the dragon but this was cut short as the dragon turned into data before they could even attack it "Uh, what?" Alex asked and soon he got his answer as a new monster joined the fray.

"Hey doesn't this guy look similar that black furred monster we fought the day we reunited?" Alex asked because in front of us was a similar monster that was as big as the dragon that just died except this one was different from the previous 2.

It has thin brown fur covering it, the same signature red eyes, 2 long black spiralled horns that came out from the sides of its head. Unlike the others, this one didn't have claws but instead what seemed like armoured fists. Lastly, there were no spikes on its back.

"Yeah it looks similar but, there is definitely some noticeable differences, but that's not what I'm worried about… There's only 3 of us and the last time we fought something similar it wasn't easy to do, so I'm not sure whether we can pull this off" Maddy answered him.

They all got ready as the best charged them smashing its fist into the ground which they dodged just in time to come back with their own attacks against its arms. The monster thrashed about attacking wildly getting a few hits on our trio "This fucker is a right pain in the ass!" Alex shouted as he dodged a large fist heading towards him and slashing the monster in the arm making it growl in anger as it pulled back.

The fight was going well but it didn't seem like they were doing too much damage plus they have to be wary in-case this variant has that ridiculous rage mode like the previous one.

"Hey, guys! I got a plan but it may or may not work, it's also really stupid but it may be able to save our asses!" Maddy called out to them "Whats the plan then!" James yelled back barely dodging the incoming fist "My plan involves you two keeping the shitfaced cunt in front of us busy for a bit and me doing something really fucking crazy!" She yelled, "You got a minute then hurry up okay?!" Alex yelled back.

Maddy pulled back while the two taunted the monster and kept it busy "Alright this is stupid but it's the only thing I can think of" she said as she pulled out the pocketed CPU Memory "Okay all I have to do is eat this and if it all works out we come out alive" she brought it up to her face "Here goes nothing… This better work" and she swallowed the memory whole.

* * *

Back with our boys who are currently distracting the monster they are having a hard time without Maddy here.

"This monster is being a complete bitch!" Alex yelled to his companion "No shit Sherlock!" James yelled back "What's taking Maddy so damn long?!" Alex yelled as he dodged another attack from the monster, however, he didn't expect the monster to double hit and its large fist was about to collide with him "Shit!" He yelled but nothing happened the monsters' attack was blocked by a futuristic black short-sword with a dark blue edge.

 _ **(IT IS HAPPENING HAHAHA… I've been waiting to do this)**_

In front of Alex was a woman as tall as James. She has long cerulean coloured hair worn in a ponytail, _**(Yeah that is a real colour actually had to google this shit because I wanted it to be accurate to what I originally portrayed it as.)**_ her eyes are dark blue with power button symbols, her outfit is a black swimsuit that covers most of her torso minus the stomach area where it cuts off from as if it was segmented, other than that it was lined with dark blue around the edges and more. Her arms had the same swimsuit whatever kind of special material it is covering them with a 2 blue lines creating a double helix up to her gauntlets, which are black with blue knuckles, and claw-like nails.

Her legs were covered up to her thighs with the same black material along with 2 blue double -helix's on the sides of her legs reaching towards her black heeled boots. Last were her wings now this shit is really hard to describe… _**(So for anyone out there who has played Terraria or know what it is, google Arkhalis's set and find the wings being used because that's the design I'm going for… 'Tis why I find it hard to describe but that is exactly what I had in mind except, the colour of these wings are just emerald green.)**_

"Need some help there?" The woman asked in a familiar voice "Y-Yeah, thanks for that… Wait, Maddy? Is that you!?" Alex answered to which the woman simply nodded "Well, shit didn't expect this at all. Thanks by the way" Alex said as he got back into the battle "So that was your plan, huh…" James muttered as he joined the others in the fight against this beast.

The beast charged at the trio and threw its fist at Maddy who blocked it giving the two boys an opportunity to do some serious damage in the form of one Alex stabbing his daggers in its left leg, and one James slashing his greatsword across its chest leaving a large gash as it reeled back clutching its chest while growling at the trio.

"I think it's time we end this! Wouldn't you agree!" James called out to the duo who nodded in response Alex pulled out a revolver and took aim at the beast " _Tw0 Fang_ " he called out as he shot all 6 rounds at the beast with each shot shooting two bullets instead of one _**(It's a reference.)**_

Maddy then flew in to strike the beast calling out her own skill " _Shock Blast_ " her blade crackled with electricity as she struck the beast in its chest which released all the electricity in one attack pushing the monster back and severely burning it.

"Why am I the only one who has no skills…" James muttered as he dashed at the downed beast stopping right in front of it to stab his sword right into its chest finally killing it.

"That was a fucking pain in the ass," Alex said to his companions "Although I think we should be more focused on _you,_ Maddy" he continued pointing to his female companion "Didn't expect you to go and do _that_ , I'm honestly impressed… In more ways than one," he said muttering the last part although she still heard him and kicked him in the shin "Sorry, I didn't hear you, could you speak up?" She told him with a smile on her face to which he just shook his head quickly.

"Enough you two, we should head back now we can discuss this later," James told them as he started to walk towards the exit muttering something about Noire being pissed and such.

* * *

 _ **HAHAHAHAHAHA… and we end it here FINALLY! The one thing I've been waiting to pull finally happens… you see in the 'story' I originally introduced her in it was hard thinking of what to do since it was a spur of the moment thing that would elevate the 'story' to a more amusing standpoint for me, so I decided on making her a CPU. This won't happen with the other 2 but I do plan on something eventually but I don't know what yet.**_

 _ **Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter which I managed to get out in good time… surprisingly the scenes from the game have a lot more lines of text than you would think. Seeya next week lads**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**The internet is a wonderful place… especially Reddit, for "Reasons" NOT THOSE REASONS! I will say nothing more other than recommend you visit r/nosleep**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 11: Now this is a story all about how…**_

* * *

Our trio of wonder has returned to the holy palace of the 9th kingdom of the 100th plane of existence- WAIT, WRONG SCRIPT, ABORT MISSION.

 _Ahem._ Our trio of friends has returned to the _Planeptune Basilicom_.

"You make children work, and you react violently when criticized. What a bad influence for kids!" An unknown childlike voice shouts "You started it!" A wild Neptune shouts "I'm not a child…" Miss Plutia responds _**(Don't ask… 'things' happened.)**_

"You always come here, make a big fuss, and then toss around false accusations." Noire says slightly pissed"Shut up! I'm on a mission to protect every single child in the whole wide world!" The unknown voice says angrily.

"Are we interrupting something here?" Maddy questions "Hmm? Who are you three?" Miss ImNot12Im13 asks "You want the full story? Or the _Outback Explorer Special Funny Cunt Edition_ " Alex asks which gets a few confused gazes from everyone except Maddy and James.

"Huh? The hell is that supposed to be!? Whatever I'll go with option 2" Miss WhoActuallyGivesACrapWhoItIsIMeanWeAllKnowItsThatWhinyBitchHopefully.

"Magnificent! Very well, it all started way back when, when we met the great and powerful _Dropbear_ " Alex began "Of course it has to be that story… he literally tells it every time someone picks that option" Maddy laments while James shrugs "What do you mean by that?" Noire asks confused "Just listen to the story and you will understand…maybe."

"Story start! We were out on a trip to the bush in search of something that is mildly awesome. We searched high and low when we finally stopped by a clearing with a large tree in the centre. We sat down to take a quick break and eat some food when suddenly… ! A large creature dropped from the tree in front of us. It had sharp teeth and claws, messy grey fur, and a body big enough to knock a cunt out just by touching it. This creature sniffed the air in search of food when it looked directly at me with its _Big Black Eyes_. It walked slowly over towards me eyes on the item in my hands. A fresh opened container of dark brown substance. In a flash it grabbed the container straight from my hands and bolted in the other direction. When we finally snapped out of our feared state I noticed my container was fucking gone and immediately shouted towards the direction of this asshole of a fucking creature."

" _YOU FUCKING MUG GIMME BACK MY FUCKING VEGEMITE! YOU COCK SUCKING FURRY CUNT OF A FUCKING MONGOL!_ "

"And from that day onward I vowed revengeance on the beast known only as the _Dropbear_..." Alex finally finished his story "Nice story!" Neptune told him with a thumbs up and a wink "Woooow… did that reeeaaallly happen…?" Madame Plutia asked "Nope! And it was completely pointless too. TL;DR I wasted your time!" Alex told them with a grin which only made BitchFaceDestroyerOfEars angry.

"Just tell me who you are already!" RejectedInHighschoolProbably said very angrily "Fine then Miss CommanderOfTheBitchBrigade. I'm Alex, and these two fine people are James and Maddy" Alex answered pointing to the respective people while also making TheLiteralBiggestBitchInTheWholeWideWorld angrier "My name is Abnes! And I am not a bitch!" 'Abnes' shouted "Good for you! You want a fucking medal?"

"Alright I think that's enough we can insult her another day," Maddy said pulling the two apart. "Now that everything is settled down" Noire began "Why are you even here Abnes?" She questioned.

"Ahem! Well, I completed my investigation. You're the new CPU here, right?" Abnes asked looking at Neptune "Ooh! Has my awesome reputation reached even this little girl I've never seen before!?" Neptune asked happy someone finally recognised her (not.)

"I'm flattered, but if I get too famous, my private life will… Too much charisma is a curse!" Neptune continued "She's not a CPU" Nowa boldly stated "Correction she's not a CPU _currently_ ," Alex said.

"What?" Abnes asked confused "Ugh, Noire! Don't shoot me down so fast. She totally thought I was a CPU…" Neptune said a little saddened "But she's right… You can't even transform…" Lady Plutia said.

* * *

 _ **(I'm hiring a new Narrator or I'm just gonna narrate it myself… poor bastard. And that children is why you don't call Iris Heart an 'Old Hag!' Let this be a lesson to anyone who wishes to not die or suffer permanent mental damage… thank fuck she can't find me… hopefully)**_

* * *

"Wh-What?" Abnes seemed completely baffled "Aww, not you too, Plutie… You shouldn't crush a poor little girl's dreams like that..." Neptune pouted "You're not a CPU…? Then how did I lose!?" Abnes said irritated.

"Because you're weak" Noire stated.

"Maaaaybe because you're weak..." Lady Plutia stated.

"Less bark and bite than a dogoo" Neptune stated.

"I've seen ducks with more bite than you" Alex stated _**(Fun fact: this is legitimately possible. Seriously ducks can be vicious.)**_

"I doubt you are strong… try fighting a kangaroo and learn how easy it is for you to get dropped by an animal" Maddy stated.

"I could surrender the fight and still beat you" James stated.

Wow lotta of harsh words there, although they are pretty much 150% accurate.

"..." Abnes was silent for a few seconds "Y-y-y-You! What is your name!?" she shouted at Neptune "You didn't catch it? Neptune" she responded to the really angry child "Neptune… I won't forget that name!"

"Oh, hang on, kid. I think it's rude to adults when you demand a name without giving your own" Neptune asked "Did Neptune not hear her earlier? No matter. Oi! Neptune the only 'Adults' here are us 3 as we don't look like children or teenagers!" Alex said but was basically ignored because his opinion was unimportant.

* * *

 **(** _I HEARD THAT YOU FUCKING CUNT OF A NARRATOR! OI STOP RUNNING GET THE FUCK BACK HERE SO I CAN BASH YER 'EAD IN!_ **)**

 _ **(Oh boy… guess I'm narrating for a bit)**_

* * *

"Hmph. Fine. I'll tell you just this once" Abnes smirked "I am the Seven Sages' idol and public relations manager! You may call me…Abnes!" What the fuck? How the fuck? The hell, how did that text show up… IM the author and I don't understand.

"Nepu! Introductory graphic text!? What the heck, Ant!? I didn't get one when I appeared!" Neptune shouted **"** _ **I honestly don't know Neptune… it just happened. I ain't got a clue how"**_ I say breaking all immersion possible and every damn wall I can.

After the confusion from my sudden interference, Abnes continued her crazy talk that would probably get her signed into a home "I can't wait to talk about this in excruciating detail at the next Seven Sages meeting!" She said with a somewhat victorious manner "If we seriously tried, we could bury this nation under regulatory red tape before you could blink! Be prepared!"

"Hey, am I legally allowed to order the construction of a mental hospital, just so I can admit her?" Alex asked aloud which got him a few glares "Tough crowd…" he muttered as Abnes left quickly.

"And there she goes. It's so not fair that she got a cool logo. She's just some weak kid…" Neptune pouted.

"If someone like her is one of the leaders of the Seven Sages, maybe they're all pushovers?" Neptune questioned "Well, if you assume they're all like that girl, sure. But we don't know anything about the others" Noire answered.

"It's so good you're here, Neppy. Every other time she comes. That girl teases me over and over…" that sounds like a _really_ bad idea. "Idiots can't handle difficult conversations, thus the violence. Every tool has its use."

"And every instance of Noire is a tool…" Alex muttered "Hehehe, you flatter me… Wait, that was a compliment, right?"

"Sure, why not? She might come back to complain about what happened, so you can handle her then, Neptune" Noire said… feel like I should not overly say who said what… and just let you take a guess at this point. I mean saying '? said' so much can get really annoying even for me… and I don't even read my story.

"Please protect us, Neppy…!" Plutia said cheerfully "Yes please protect us O' great one" Alex snickered, he's really enjoying making fun of people.

* * *

"Now that, that's settled. Noire. On a scale of 1-10, how pissed would you be if someone here became a CPU before you" James asked to which he received a confused look from both her and Neptune surprisingly.

Noire took a minute to think about it before coming to a conclusion "Well, if it was Neptune I'd say 11, either way, I'd still be quite mad" Alex and James looked at each other and spoke at the same time "Shock on not!" Maddy gave them both a glare and muttered something about them being wusses.

"Well, you all can have fun with the coming revelation _we_ are gonna go drink the day away" Alex piped up putting his arm around James' neck who nodded in agreement as they walked towards the door before being pulled back from their collar by a pissed off Maddy "Oh no you don't! You two are sticking around whether you like it or not, got it?" She told them with a smile that could rival a 'happy' Ploot.

"So… here's the thing Nowa. You see, back when we were doing some quests we actually found something you might like. A CPU Memory!" Alex began which made Noire's eyes widen "Really!? Where is it?!" She hurriedly asked "Well, that's the problem. During the last quest to slay an Ancient Dragon we encountered an unknown monster. This fucker was a brute and gave us a real hard time, that was until we started having problems with keeping up with it. That was when Maddy here had a bright idea" James continued which only made Noire confused.

"We gave her the time to put her plan into action. You see Maddy here was the one who found the memory… I think you can piece it together" Alex finished as Noire began thinking about what kind of plan it could have been.

When she finally pieced it together she looked shocked "N-n-No way… how could this happen…" Noire muttered "This is the worst day ever. How did you become a CPU before me!?" Noire shouted pointing at Maddy "Sorry, but if I didn't do it I'm pretty sure none of us would be alive to tell the tale. Maybe you don't get it but, we have fought similar monsters before and they were not easy whatsoever" Maddy answered trying to calm down Noire.

"Wait, does this mean you're gonna go off to make a natio-" Noire was cut off by Maddy "Nah, fuck that. I got a better idea. I'm gonna go have a _word_ with the author" Shit… I'm fucked, aren't I? Guess I should just comply by using some bullshit excuse that says she doesn't need to do this whole nation bullshit and place it under the guise of _plot_.

Once everything calmed down the legendary trio of the land down under returned back to the hotel they were staying at for the night.

Nothing interesting happened that night. Nothing at all.

* * *

 _ **(Hmm? Who's knocking on my door right now… It's unlocked!)**_

 _ **(Fuck… I should've locked it with reinforced memes)**_

 _ **(** Hmhmhm, you need to be punished boy, don't you agree Maddy? **)**_

 _ **(**_ **Of course I do, Plutia!** ** _)_**

 _ **(Shit… AH I KNOW * Finds file on PC labeled 096 .jpeg then proceeds to open it and dive out the window * HAHA SEE YA LATER NERDSSSSS)**_

* * *

"My feet are on fire! I can't walk any more!" Neptune complains "I'm pretty tired, too…" Plutia complains _**"I STILL HAVE LIKE 2-3K WORDS LEFT TO WRITE"**_ I complain "Shut up and get the fuck back to writing you no good lonely cunt of an author who has far too much time on their hands!" Ouch.

"Gosh, you two are pathetic. This isn't very hard" Noire sighs "Nuh-uh, it's soooo hard… You're too energetic, Noire…" Plutia continues to complain "I concur! I dunno about Plutie, but my lovely frame wasn't built for hard labour" Are we just gonna complain about everything now? If so I want to complain about how fucking bullshit RNG is.

"Don't make such weird excuses! Plutia is the CPU, and you're just some random moocher!" Noire tells her off… what is this 1st grade? "You're both in positions where you ought to be working ten times harder than I am!" Noire rants some more.

"Yikes, that's harsh! You're so strict, Noire! Not even Histy has ever been that hard on me!" Neptune says surprised "Neptune I'm pretty sure Histy could lecture us all to death so I highly doubt that," James told her the cold hard truth… no, seriously she was like this close, right you can't see me… just pretend I'm making a pinching motion with my thumb and forefinger leaving a small gap between them. Yeah, so she was basically ready to lecture me on how to be a normal human being.

"Only people who are pushed to work hard will become successful!" Noire says irritated "I call bullshit on that Noire. Source: High school fucking sucks… actually, any kind of normal education that isn't a TAFE or something similar sucks. Source: The author dropped out because he literally cannot stand the bullshit schools give, he's doing a specialized course in computers now" Hey! Who said you could reveal my personal life… Wait, I actually don't care enough since it's fucking true.

"Hey, I've been wondering… Who's this Histy person you mention every now and then?" Plutia asks "Yeah, I'm kind of curious, too. Is she your history teacher…?" Noire asks "Heck no! She's more like a coach than a teacher, if that makes sense" Did you just say 'heck'? UR NOW BANNED FROM MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER FUCKO!

"Ooooh, you're so good with synonyms, Neppy..." Plutia said in surprise "it doesn't matter what term you use. We're asking who she is" Noire continued "Hmm, how do I explain it…?" Neptune said as she started thinking.

"Histy is the Oracle for my nation. She floats on a book and is real smart, but kinda weird, too" she began "She's always telling me to work. I dunno if she's what we'd call a human, though..." She finished "Okay, enough. I think I got the gist of it."

"You do…? Wow Noire, you're soooo amazing…!" Plutia complimented "I guess you don't get it, then? Behold, for I am wearing my shocked face."

"It's not that I understood you, but there's someone living here very similar to who you described" Noire answered "She floats, is smart but a little odd, and yells at everyone to get to work" she continued "Hmm? Ohhhh, that's right… She sounds like Histoire!" Plutia said happily.

"I'm glad you finally understand… Wait! You said Histoire…?" Neptune responded with a smile "Right… we never did talk about this" James muttered to his companions who nodded in response.

"Plutia! Plutia! Please open the door! (° ∀° )" How in the fuck did she make an emoticon I'm so confused "Her timing couldn't be better," Noire said "That voice…! It's way more loli than the one I'm used to, but could that possibly be…?" Is it even possible to have that kind of voice naturally? You know what I ain't gonna ask.

"Welcome home, Histoire!" Plutia said happily as she opened the door "Phew… I finally made it back… ( ; • ∀ • )" Reminder this is a thing now… any time she uses emoticons I will scour the lands to find out how the fuck they came to be _**(In seriousness only the scenes from the game where she uses emoticons will have them since I can't emote for shit.)**_

"Nepu! Holy floating gravyboats!" Neptune exclaimed, is that even a thing? "You took soooo long… Where did you go?" Plutia asked "I went shopping at the general store just outside the city. (~_~;)" Histoire of the smaller cuter variety answered, seriously can I keep her, please? "That's an hour's walk, max" Noire said to our cute little fairy "Yes, but they had a deal on AA batteries, and when bought in bulk become quite a heavy burden… (-_-;)" Good Ol' Duracell™ best batteries you can get probably.

"Due to that, my return trip took me about three days. (-_-;)" Histoire answered, "Aww, don't push yourself when you're so itty-bitty…" Plutia said to the smol fairy "You're a weird one, Histoire" Noire smiled at the smol fairy.

"I fail to see why my anecdote is amusing. Hmm? This is a new face. Who is she? (° _° )" Histoire asked "This is Neppy, my neeeew friend…" our resident sleeper said _**(Ba dum tss… it's a reference)**_ "Is that so? I have a strange feeling that she and I have met somewhere before… (-.-)" Histoire said.

"Oops, where are my manners? I am the one who guides the CPU of this nation, Histoire" Smol Fairy greeted with a smol smile "Y-Y-You're… You're Histy! A teeny-tiny bite-sized Histy!" Neptune shouted with extreme happiness as she hugged the smol fairy.

"Eep! Wh-What is the matter with you? Please refrain from embracing me without warning! Σ (° д ° |||)" Histoire said in surprise at the sudden gesture "So flippin' cute! It's a handheld Histy! Mini-Histy! Oh man… This is the best thing ever!" Neptune said in excitement.

"So Histy…is Histoire?" Plutia questioned "Looks that way. But she keeps calling her small for some reason" Noire answers "That's because she is small" Alex answered the obvious "Oh, but Histy sounds so cute… I like that nickname… I'm gonna start calling her that, too…!" Plutia happily continued.

"I am…having trouble breathing… Help me, you two…! ( д ;)" Mini-Histy said in her struggle "Uh-oooooh, Histy is gonna get smuuuushed…" Plutia said in worry "Yeah, we need to stop Neptune. Come on, let her go already."

* * *

"What a frightening ordeal! You must not grab someone and squeeze them with all your might! ° (° ˊ д ˋ °) °" Mini-Histy said "Hehe, sorry about that. I couldn't help it, 'cuz you're just so cute and tiny!" Neptune apologized "I KNOW RIGHT!?" Alex shouted from the back.

"So basically, if you had a cute and furry pet or something, you'd end up accidentally killing it," Noire told the energetic girl "Hey, can I take her home with me? If I set her next to Big Histy, it'd make for a really great postcard!" Neptune asked, "FINALLY SOMEONE AROUND HERE UNDERSTANDS MY THOUGHT PROCESS!" Alex shouted in joy from the back, I don't blame him though.

"There's a Big Histy, too? Wowee… Can we trade for a bit…?" Plutia asked "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Alex continued his joyful shouts "Please do not treat me like a toy! So…Neptune, was it? ( ˊ ▼ ˋ )"

"Yep. I guess you don't know who I am either, huh, Mini-Histy?" Neptune said a little sad "I do not. (=_=) Well, I do not believe so, but I feel a strange tug in my heart…" Smol-Histy answered "Allow me to explain I guess. Histoire, Neptune here is from the same Dimension we came from" Maddy answered "I see. That explains it… (-.-)"

"O-Oh right… nearly forgot about that, hehehe..." Neptune said in a quiet tone "I still don't believe you..." Noire said "You can say that all you want Nowa but the fact is _we_ have cold hard proof," Alex told her "Heyyyy, soooo… What's a different dime mention?" Don't think about the fact there could be more than 1 Iris Heart. Don't think about the fact that there could be more than 1 Iris Heart. I SAID DONT THINK IT!

"So, tell me how can I. I mean _we_ get back home! You've gotta know, Mini-Histy!" Neptune asked the smol fairy "Hmm… I think I have an idea. If another Histoire exists in Neptune's Dimension, then I should be able to communicate with her. ^ ^" Histy of the Smol answers.

"Whoa, crazymazing! When did you download that app?!" Neptune said surprised, that's not a word… **(** _Neither is 'Importanto'_ **)** You shut up!

"Wooooow. So we can talk to the big Histy…?" Plutia asked surprised by the development "Please wait a moment while I attempt to establish a connection. ( ˋ • ω • ˊ )" Histy answered "Okay! Thanks and stuff!" Neptune thanked the smol fairy.

"… (*•ω•*)~~~~~~~~~" We aren't actually doing this right now? "Ba-bum. Ba-bum." WE ARENT ACTUALLY DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?! "… (*•ω•*)~~~~~~~~~" PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT HAPPENING?! "Ugh. Fine, do whatever you want" Noire lamented "… (*•ω•*)~~~~~~~~~" QUICKLY SHUTDOWN THE COMPUTER BEFORE THIS GETS OUT OF HAND!

"...Um, hey Mini-Histy, hello? No connection yet? This is taking longer than dial-up" But not as long as Telstra™ when their service goes down "Please do not speak to me now! This is not something that can be done quickly. {{ ( _ ) }}" Histy shouted at her.

"Communicating with another Dimension will take me, hmm… About three days. ( • A • )" Once again _Telstra_ ™ "That long!? How about we aim for three minutes?" Neptune shouts in surprise "Try harderrrr… We wanna communicate…!" Plutia demands "Telstra™ could do it faster…wait no they couldn't it would take them 3 days just to get their net online again. Pro-tip: Blame everything on Telstra™" Alex said with words of wisdom and truth.

"Please do not request the impossible from me. (-_-;)" Histoire began "Also, I will be unable to move or speak until I establish a link. ( ˋ • ω • ˊ )" She continued "Therefore, I ask that you do not cause mischief for a few days. Pardon me. (-_-)" she finished.

"Hey, wait…! I have more talking to do..." Neptune began "Searching for network… Establishing link… Searching for network… (*•ω•*)~~~" Disconnecting from network… kill me now… Shutting down pc.

"Well, junk in my trunk. She's like a frozen computer" Neptune sighed "Correction, a frozen computer can still do something" James told her "Poke, poke… Wow, she doesn't move at aaaall… She's like one of my dolls…" Plutia poked at the smol fairy "Hehehe. Maybe I'll put some different clothes on her…" Plutia happily said, "OH FUCK YEAH FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FUN!" Alex shouted as he stood up.

"Stop it. She said not to bother her for a few days, so let's leave her alone, okay?" Noire told the two off to which one pouted and the other grumbled unintelligible swears… don't ask how I know.

"Well, guess we'll be heading out for now, this got boring so we'll probably go do some quests and head back to the hotel. Bye!" Maddy said as she walked towards the door waving to the three as the two men followed arguing about something in another language that only those 3 understand mostly because the author said so.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **Sweet another chapter down and with time to spare. If you are wondering what the language is it's Greek. Love me some real world jokes and memes… but I wasn't lying Telstra** **™ fucking sucks for service when it goes down or when you have problems. And yes I very much hated school god it fucking sucked glad I fucking dropped out and went to do something I much more prefer. If anyone gets what ' 096 .jpeg ' means you sir/madame get a cookie. also some symbols may not work so if it seems symbols are missing blame the site.**_


	12. I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!

_**I Got wayyyyyy too caught up in uhh fun times and completely forgot to do this so… take this sick intermission that totally makes sense.**_

 _ **Chapter Intermission That Explains Some Things But No Things: PSYCHO EDITION!**_

* * *

It was getting late into the night in the house of a certain man when there were knocks at the front door… HINT FUCKING HINT BTW.

"Seems our time is up for this weekend" a man told the two kids who were looking sleepy "Aww…" they whined "No complaining you both have school tomorrow so you need to be home soon" the man told the kids off as he got up from his seat and walked over to the door.

When he opened it he was greeted by a young man who looked like he was in his mid-thirties "Hello dad, I've come to pick up the kids" the young man greeted the other who he called his father "I trust they have not been bad" he asked "No, not at all, in fact they've been good all weekend. Actually, I've been telling them an old tale and my they are enjoying it, so that may be why they have been good" the man mused.

"Ahh, yes I heard from the phone about how you were telling them a story of an adventure? Or something like that" the younger man responded to which the father gave a chuckle "The bestest adventure of all time ever" the father said which caused the son the groan "Father please" he said which only made the man chuckle again "Sorry, sorry" he apologised.

The two kids had shown up from behind the older man "You two ready to go home?" he asked two which they nodded and walked over to the younger man "C'mon you two we need to get home or else your mother will not be happy" he said with a slight shiver and the two followed him through the door waving goodbye to the older man.

"See you two next weekend!" The older man told the two as they got in the car and drove off. Closing the door he returned into his home "Hopefully he doesn't get chewed out too bad… poor lad is basically whipped, although I don't blame him since she reminds me of a certain _sadist_ " the older man said to himself while thinking about someone he would rather not think of.

He made his way towards his bedroom for the night " _There is still time… I have that opportunity but I do not want to leave just yet, I should at least finish my tale for those boys_ " he muttered in a cryptic way as he sat down on his bed.

Before going to sleep who looked to his bedside table and opened a secret compartment hidden on the side. Inside was a picture frame a note and a large black box that gave off a glow from the gap where the lid is. He picked up the note and read aloud " _When you are done in this world return to where it all began on that same day when it all started_."

He placed the note back inside and close the compartment and headed off to bed " _16_ _th_ _of the 4_ _th_ " he muttered as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 _ **This is the short intermission I was talking about since I am far too damn lazy to write a full chapter… also, I may have just been really caught up in playing MHGEN in preparation for MHGU and also watching Initial D… both really enjoyable but alas my illogical contempt for fun will ultimately cause my demise… whoops, wrong reference.**_

 _ **Anyways see you all next week for I will probably only do these intermissions every like now and then and each one will explain more things that are yet to be explained because I haven't actually planned that far ahead yet…**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	13. Chapter 12

_**Chapter 12: A Descent Into Darkness**_

* * *

Here we have our trio standing in front of a massive castle… Why? Because what lies deep within will advance certain plot-related bullshit, also because I literally cannot think of any other method that sounds both interesting, unique, and makes the whole time gap problem work out.

"I'm honestly more surprised this exists" Alex says completely baffled at the castle in front of him "I mean if you told me that _this_ place was real and not fictional whatsoever, I'd more than likely call you a liar and walk away, then find someplace to get ice cream or something to replenish the innocence you blackened with your filthy deceits" Alex continued.

"I'm pretty sure that we have thrown logic, reason, sanity, and anything related to such, straight out the window. Seriously we have travelled dimensions _TWICE_! So by all means, this castle in front of us is real" Maddy answered.

"We came here for an important item, not to argue about how insane this all sounds. C'mon, it's gonna be a pain just to find the ingredients, not to mention how much of it we will need…" James told the two to which Alex just muttered something about him being a nerd.

The trio opened the large doors and entered the castle "Fuck me. This place looks like it went through hell" Alex said as he eyed the mostly ruined castle "In a way it did" James replied.

"So… how far do we have to go to find these ingredients?" Alex asked "Far. I did say this won't be a walk in the park. We are looking for 3 ingredients. I suggest we split and search on our own" James answered his lovely friend "And how am I supposed to know what to look for?" Alex asked to which our resident nerd sighed "You can get the most noticeable ingredient then. That alright with ye?" James replied to which his friend nodded.

They stopped to discuss the plan "We meet back in the laboratory alright? Alex, you will be looking for the _Fungal Poison._ Just find the plant and get its seeds" Alex nodded to this "Maddy, you get the _Tampter_. It's the more dangerous job and you are by far better suited for it than us. Don't forget to stay above the water" Maddy nodded at this "And I, will get the _Vitae_. Hopefully, there is still some leftover" James finished discussing the plan as the three continued through this castle of horrors.

* * *

 _ **~ This is one big reference to a game that I have yet to actually do the ending involving these ingredients. Still my No.1 Favourite horror game to this day ~**_

Alex and Maddy went down one path as James continued down another. Shall we follow the duo? Yes!

The duo walked through the silent corridor of stone. There were no monsters to fight… at least not yet "This place is too quiet. I hate it" Couldn't even go a whole minute without complaining… I don't blame him though, the first areas are eerie and void of any danger, "Quit complaining!" Maddy scolded him.

The silence continued for some time until they found themselves walking through a broken wall courtesy of Maddy. The new area had water up to the waist in height boxes and books scattered throughout it, but the worst of it? Was the body parts. Severed limbs, torsos, you name it.

"Hey look progression!" Alex said in a fake happy tone " _ **grrrghh**_ " the low growl sounded from the water "I have to get through this don't I?" Alex questioned with a slightly annoyed look "That plant is deeper into the castle so… Yes, yes you do. We should at least collect the _Tampter_ while we are here before you move on" Maddy answered him.

The two came prepared with rope… lot's of rope. Why? Because they don't want to have their hands bitten off. Maddy transformed and flew over the water with the rope in hand "I am going to kill him when we finish" she muttered as she tied multiple ropes to the exposed bone of floating limbs.

She dropped them into the water while holding the other end of the rope, this resulted in a loud splash which alerted a certain invisible asshole. The lurker in the water made its way over to the limbs with splashes of its own proceeding to devour the flesh. When one limb was stripped Maddy stored the saliva covered bone in her inventory "Definitely killing him later…" she muttered.

Once all the bones were stored the creature went silent and Maddy returned to the broken wall "That's my job done. Now make yourself useful and don't die."

Alex had to traverse the water, make it to the next area, and not die… Piece of cake. Right?

Maddy left him to enjoy the _experience_ , and made her way towards the lab.

* * *

 _ **~ An invisible monster in the water? What could that possibly be? HMMMMMM! Congratulations if you already know! ~**_

James took his own route because he didn't want to deal with waterboi.

On his way to the _torture chamber,_ he collected a few jars to store the ingredient in.

"Should be around here somewhere" he muttered as he searched the room "Place is full of secret passages, so there should be one leading to _there_ , I just need to find it" then he heard a click and the moving of a wall "Fouuuund it~" He sang as he looked through the new door.

A staircase that descends deep into the heart of this castle of horror "Let's go." James descended the stairs.

He gagged at the foul stench that lingered in the room "Of all the places I thought I would see in my life, this place was not one of them" He said to no-one as he made his way to a grate that covered a drainage pipe. Removing the grate he filled 3 jars with the blood of torture victims and sent them to his inventory.

He was about to leave when he heard a low growl and banging on the door "Oh great… a _servant_ " he said to himself as he pulled out his sword and readied himself for the horror beyond the door.

The door burst open and a monster walked in. Alright, kiddos let's see how many of you know exactly what this unholy abomination of flesh is.

The monster was humanoid in shape, but distorted into the grotesque form it takes now. Mostly naked with stitches, and cloth here and there, the monster has a large clawed left hand. The jaw of the monster was unhinged, sliced, and stretched down revealing the red flesh on the inside.

The monster immediately took notice of James and ran towards him. Swinging its clawed hand at him James dodges and slashes at the leg of the Gatherer which seems unfazed by this as it slashes at him again, in which he just blocks it and kicks the monster away. The Gatherer stumbled a bit but regained itself quickly and made its way to James, slashing at him again, to which he dodges to the right and slices the monsters' claw off "Rest in peace…" he muttered as he sliced the monster in half.

Shaking the blood from the blade he stored it and made his way up the staircase closing the secret door when he exited. He continued on to the lab next to finish up this little quest.

* * *

 _ **~ Although strong… they are pretty stupid ~**_

Oh hey, it's Alex! And look at that, he's being chased by an invisible water monster!

"This is fucking fantastic!" He shouts as he kicks open another door closing it on the monster and running through more water "FUCK YOU TWO FOR THIS!" He shouts to no-one.

Finally reaching the end of this shit show he opens the red door and locks it behind him walking up the stairs and leaving the water. After he climbed to the top he immediately turned left towards an elevator.

"It will be a real pain in the ass to get back…" Alex muttered as he stepped into the elevator and rode it down into the prison.

The prison was mostly empty so it was easy to get to the Cistern Entrance, then to the Cistern, and then to the Sewers.

"Oh great… more water. This is fucking fantastic… THIS BETTER BE FUCKING WORTH IT!" Alex shouted. I do not blame him for this, but it's all for the plot "Shut up you prick of an Author!" Wow, what an asshole. Calm down buddy and continue on this was all set up for _you_ , y'know.

The Sewer was a fun experience but he made it through, although dealing with the brutes while in water was definitely not fun, but alas he made it to the Nave.

Now you may say… 'This entire trip was pointless if he went with James' My answer to that is. No, because that is boring.

Making it through the Nave, then to the Choir Entrance, and finally, the area which holds his objective. The Choir – Main Hall.

"Alright, I'm looking for deadly 'shrooms," Alex told himself as he explored the Choir.

And after 10 minutes of searching, he found his objective "Finally…" Alex muttered as he cut the poison gland and stored it away.

With a few poison glands, he makes the trek back to the elevator "I. Hate. You" Love you too :) "Don't you fucking start with those emoticons!" :) "FUCK YOU!"

* * *

 _ **~ And after a lovely time-skip, pain, suffering, angry brutes, waterbois, and a grunt, our trio reunited in the Laboratory ~**_

"Alright, we have everything right?" James asked and the other two nodded placing their ingredients on the table "Okay, this will last us a while…probably" James said as he eyed the ingredients while pulling out one extra ingredient, not in the original recipe.

"Looking at that still makes me uneasy," Maddy said as she stared at the vial James now held "I don't blame you, but if this works then…" he trailed off as he looked at the vial which contained blood. Not just any blood though, the blood of a CPU, I'll stop now as you probably can connect the dots.

"Now I ain't no scientist, but I did look over the notes here and I had a theory, 'what if we used boiled blood from a Goddess?' Considering that _Vitae_ is boiled blood from someone who was tortured" he said to the two "This is both crazy and stupid… but If I recall. I do stupid shit, for the sake of doing stupid shit" he finished.

After boiling all 4 jars of blood and 1 vial he proceeded to the next process.

Using a vice to hold the poison glands he squeezed out the poison from each gland into a jar and the 1 vial.

Finally, he placed the jars and vial in a contraption along with the saliva covered bones. The contraption steamed each bone adding the _Tampter_ to each jar of mixture and the 1 vial.

Bringing out multiple vials he poured the now created tonic into each one and labelled the unique tonic 'Weyer's Modified Tonic.'

"Now then how do we decide which one of us gets which tonic," James said to Alex "Right… you said that this tonic has properties that can extend one's life, then you have the one _you_ created" Alex answered.

"You, probably have a better chance of survival if you took the unique tonic," Alex told his friend "But, if it works like you theorised it would, then I want it" he continued "Take it then. By all means" James told him with a smile which gave Alex a confused look before he realised what he meant "Hey! You just want me to be your guinea pig!" He shouted at his friend "Maybe…" James replied with a smirk.

After they argued a bit longer it was decided that Alex would take the unique tonic and James would keep the rest for when he needed them.

"Bottoms up..." Alex muttered as he downed the unique tonic. At first, it was painful, then the paralysing effect from the mushroom kicked in numbing the pain. At the end of it, he was still alive and looked no different "Blegh. That tasted awful" he said aloud "Well at least you aren't dead… I assume it worked but only time will tell… literally."

The three left the lab and returned to their room at the hotel "Never coming back here… ever" Alex said and the other two nodded in agreement.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **This wasn't my initial plan… in-fact I didn't have an initial plan… 'twas a pain in the ass just to think of something like this… what kind of unique way could I make the clock stop ticking. I browsed my list of games thinking of something that may inspire me for it, until I came across a game I haven't played in ages. I thought about the game and immediately went googling.**_

 _ **That game… was the best horror game I've ever played. That game is Amnesia: The Dark Descent.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	14. Chapter 13

_**Man yesterday was fucking amazing. Lunastra in World blew me away especially the unique Bonding event.**_

 _ **Chapter 13: Something, Something, Chapter Title**_

* * *

"So, while we were 'exploring' an old castle you three went out in search of those class change items. When you found them there was an 'old hag' and a rat who also wanted them, then the rat booked it with the memories running into Plutia who proceeded to 'teach him a lesson.' While that was going on you two fought this old hag and managed to lose somehow, until Plutia showed up surprising you with her transformation while also making a deal with the both of you in exchange for the memories. Then you both transformed and the three of you beat her up."

Taking a very deep breath after far too much talking James continues "Did I get it all correct?" He asked "Yeppers, you did!" Neptune exclaimed happily "Least you didn't have to run through water from something you can't even see…" Alex mumbled only to get smacked up the backside of his head "Hey!" He cried out at his assailant "Quit complaining! It wasn't even that bad!" Maddy scolded him to which he mumbled.

"Neptune! James! Maddy! Alex! (;° д °)" Mini-Histy shouted as she came flying into the room

"Do my mini-ears hear Mini-Histy?" Who else would it be? The flying spaghetti monster? "Oh hey, it's the tiny Histoire" Alex chimed in… Well, more like barrelled in. Literally.

"Huh…? I thought she froze..." Plutia said confused "She said she wouldn't be able to move or speak until she connected with the other… N-No way!" Well, I'll be damned... "Well, I'll be damned..." That was weird as fuck "Why do I get this strange feeling that something really weird but cool happened?" James said in a quiet tone.

"I did it! A connection with the other dimension has been established! Please hurry over here! (;° д °)" Mini-Histy called "Y-Yeah! Here I come, ready or not!" Neptune shouted, "We're coming!" Maddy told our resident tiny fairy as they all made their way over to her.

"You're connected, right, Mini-Histy? Where is she? Where's my Histy?" Neptune asked hurriedly "Please calm down. I'm bringing up the video feed. ( • . • )" You seein' this shit? Oh… right. Ignore that.

"Sup" Alex waved to Histoire "Whoa, it's Histy! Hey!" Neptune shouted excitedly "That's your Histy…? It's hard to tell if she's big or not from the video..." Plutia smiled "Dammit… now I owe Maddy a few hundred credits…" Noire muttered. HA SUCKER! 'Tis what thee gets for making bets with someone like her.

"Yo, Histy! Can you see me? It's a-me, Neptune!" Neptune said excitedly "Yes. There is no mistaking you, Neptune. To think that you had been sent to another dimension… Hmm? It seems those three are there as well…" Histoire answered the overly excited girl.

"You think YOU'RE surprised?! You know how I can get back, right?" Our resident hyper child told her "My money is on some really convoluted bullshit process that requires travelling the land in search of mystical rocks of potentially little importance" Alex said making a bet "You makin' a bet, boyo?" Maddy asked with a grin "Fuck no. Not with you" Alex answered.

"Well, about that…" Histoire began "Neptune!? Is that you, Neptune!?" … "Huh? That sounds like…" Neptune began "Please Nepgear, we are attempting to hold a very serious conversation right now" Histoire, please… Neptune and serious do not go together.

"Let me see her! I want to talk to my big sister!" Nepgear demanded, "W-wait, no, do not push your face so close to that…!" Histoire said to the girl on the other end "Oh goodness, it really is you!" Nepgear said happily "Whassup, Nep Jr.? Good to see you. How's the things?" Neptune greeted "Ooooh, that girl looks like an older, smarter Neppy… So why did she ask for her big sister…?" I mean you aren't wrong about the smarter part.

"Um, no matter what lens you look at it through, Neptune is the younger of the two." * _Finger Guns * That's where you're wrong kiddo_ "Hey! This is my touching reunion scene, so I want quiet from the bleachers. We get that a lot, though."

"You disappeared so suddenly! I've been worried sick!" Nepgear said in a saddened tone "I thought you'd...left me again..." Nepgear said with a few tears "Hey, plug that leaky eye plumbing! I'm fine, and I'll be home real soon!" Neptune reassured her "Okay… I'm sorry… If I'd gone out working with you that day, this wouldn't have happened..."

"Excuse me, Nepgear. I hate interrupt you, but..." Histoire began "Hey, Nepgear! Why're you hogging all the fun?!" And they're all behind me and falling down- SHIT YOU DIDN'T SEE NOTHING I WAS NOT SINGING RIGHT NOW!

 _Ahem_ , a loud rambunctious voice spoke up this girl is Ram, "Well, I'm talking to my big sister right now, so..." Nepgear said "With Neptune? So she's actually in another dimension?" Hey! Look! It's Tsun Jr.! "Hey! We're here to ya' damn Mini-Tsun" Alex called out "Who are you calling a 'Mini-Tsun'!" Uni shouted at him, he snickered in response.

"I wanna look, too..." A more quiet and shy voice said, this is Rom. "Yeah, but me first!" Ram yelled "Huh? Everyone, um…" Nepgear tried speaking up "Do not crowd me all at once! Oof…!" Ouch..., Owie..., My bones! "Yay! Neptune, can you see me?" Ram asked happily "That's...another dimension? Wow..." Rom said in awe "It looks kind of strange to me. Wait, is that MY big sister!? Is she that dimension's version of-" Uni was interrupted from her surprise "P-Please wait, everyone! I'm still talking to Neptune..." Nepgear tried to bring this train back on the rails.

"Bring us back really nice souvenirs! Like buckets of yummy kitty candy!" Ram asked, "How far can we derail this conversation?" Alex asked to which the two just shrugged "If anything I think we should just give them their precious screen time" Maddy answered, "I'd like...a picture book..." Rom asked, "If I go over there, would I get to have two big sisters?!" Uni that is really selfish, and creepy, really creepy.

"Please stop pushing against me… There's not enough room…!" Oh, you poor girl… "E-Everyone, enough is enough!" Histoire shouted "Waaaaah!" The candidates shouted.

"Oops. The video feed is growing a tad choppy. One moment while I buffer. ( * • _ω_ • * )~~~" Does anyone else find that weird? I'm not the only one right? "Whoa, a connection error? Mini-Histy, you better not 404 on us!" What would happen if Histy just BSOD'ed? "Yours looks like a pretty lively dimension, to say the least." Noire sighed "Neppy, you're soooo popular..." Plutia said in surprise.

* * *

"* _pant, pant_ * I managed to lock them inside a different room" How the fuck did you do it though? "Oh, hi!-" Hello :) "Don't hang up on us again. My heart skipped a hop! And Mr. Author… NO INTERRUPTING ME!" I'll think about it.

"That was no fault of mine. Nepgear and her friends were interfering" Histoire answered in a slightly angry tone as she shifted to a more serious face "That aside, let us discuss the matter at hand. Getting you home." Oh hey, we finally made it to plot progression "Oh, yeah. How do we do it?" Neptune asked, "Don't forget us three as well!" Alex called from the couch… how did that even get there?

"Well...I am uncertain at this time" Well have you tried turning it off and on again? "Dun-dun-dunnn!" What is this? Some really bad comedy gag? "Th-That's not gonna fly! You even made me use that crazy melodramatic noise from years ago!" That was a good~ coffee~ hmm? Oh, we're rolling? Shit. "Th-There is nothing to be done. I only recently learned that you arrived in another dimension" Histoire answered.

"But it's your jobby-job to do something about it, right?" Neptune asked "It's cool. Even if you cheat a bit, nobody will bat an eye because you're Histy, my deus ex machina!" If you asked me nicely I'll let you go home… Just kidding! "Do not demand such things of me! I will research and then contact you all once I find a solution. Farewell" And there goes the call.

"Whoa, come on! Histy, don't run away from your responsibilibuddy!" hahahahahahahahhahah… _cough cough._ sorry that was just wayyyy too funny "Calm down, Neptune. Give her time she'll find a way for us to get back" James told her "Oh. ((=¯¯□¯¯=;)) She ended the call."

"Gee whiz! The one time I need her, and she's completely useless!" Neptune cries out "Even though you are upset at the other me, I feel like I am the one being insulted… (ↄ д ˋ )" Should I even question the emoticons at this point? "You were asking too much of her. Isn't it enough that you were able to establish one another's safety?" Noire told her "Cheer up, Neppy. Hehehe..." Plutia tried cheering her up.

"Hmph… What's with the chortle, Plutie?" Neptune asked… Well, personally I find your situation quite amusing "Quiet! _Antasco_!" Fiiiiine "Who are you talking to, Neptune?" Noire asked.

"Weeeell, if you're not going home yet, we can keep playing together. Soooo, I'm happy..." Plutia answered her "Jeez. You just smacked me with the blunt end of a reality stick like it wasn't a big deal at all..." Neptune said a little worried. Reality stick? Psshhh. Try _Reality Hammer_.

"Oh well. I'm having fun hanging out with you, the trio of mischief, and Pseudo-Noire, too." Neptune cheered up rather quickly "...I'm gonna say this now, but I'm not going to be able to shower you with my attention." Noire told her "Yeah but you totally want to~" Alex teased. Is there something I'm missing here? He seems to always enjoy teasing Noire, but I don't know wh- oh. OH. _**(Am I Hinting at something here? Maybe.)**_

"You be quiet. Anyways. I'm finally a CPU, so I need to hurry up and found my own nation..." Noire said happily "Well, okay. But know that I'm totally gonna steal your only friend away while you're gone!" Neptune proclaimed "I'll cut out your splee- I-I mean, whatever! It's not like I only have one friend or anything."

" **NOBODY CUTS OUT SPLEENS BUT ME!"** How the fuck did you get here!? Go back to salting wounds in your own dimension! Fucking hell…

"That's right… Neppy, Maddy, James, and Alex are all your friends, too…!" Plutia told her "Gah! N-N-No we're not..." She's totally, really happy right now "Pfft! Leave it to Plutie to make you sound like a buffoonalo" Neptune laughed "Aww~ Noire is so cute when she's like this~" Do I need to tell you who said that? "C-C-C-Cute?! Me?!"

"But hey, since this is how things are gonna be for a while, let's have more fun, Plutie!" Neptune cheered "Yaaaay! Let's play forever…!" Whoa, stand down there girlie "Well, it seems we've reached the end of the chapter within the chapter" I swear if I have to fix that damn wall one more fucking time… "Yeah, yeah, shut up Author" WHY YOU!

"Alright, I guess I'll be making my leave to go build my nation then," Noire said as she got ready to leave "Leaving so soon? Always doing things alone. You aren't her but that won't stop me from helping you" Alex called out "Huh? What are you talking about?" Noire asked confused.

"Ain't it obvious? I'm going to help you whether you like it or not" he answered with his hands in his pockets "I-I don't need any help!" Noire denied "Too late. I'm helping and you can't complain. You two alright with this?" He looked to his friends who nodded.

"F-Fine, I'll let you help. Just don't get in my way. Hmph" Alex sighed at her tsun nature as they both left the Basilicom.

"Whelp, guess we just wait around 'til Histoire contacts us, though I have this strange feeling that we'll be doing work for Mini-Histy, because you two are lazier than the damn author. And that is saying something" James said to the 3 girls.

* * *

 _ **Roughly 3 Years Later. Jesus Fucking Christ, that is a long time.**_

" _..._ _Do I start talking now? I'm just gonna go, okaaaay?"_ _**This girl can be such a pain. First she barges into my room in her transformed state mind you. Then she demands to me to let her narrate the start of this, and now she gets confused. This girl is more two-faced than me…**_

" _Um, helloooo… It's been about , umm...three years since Neppy and the others came to my dimension, I think..."_ _**Why are we even doing this?**_ _"Noire made her own nation with the help of Alex and is working sooooo hard to make it super cool..."_ _ **She is so damn slow…**_ _"But because of her, Lowee's shares have gone SPLAT and the two nations aren't friends..."_ _ **I wish that psycho was here right now. At least he's interesting.**_

" _Oh, Planeptune is the same as ever… That's ummmm…my last cue card. Hey, sooooo? Did I do good, Mr Author?"_ _ **Hold on reverse breaking the fourth wall isn't as easy as it looks. "You did fine… note to self: use double- no- triple reinforced steel."**_

" _You're not narrator material. Nope, Nope"_ _ **Neptune, please…**_ _"Aww. I was so confident..."_ _ **Great now you made her sad.**_

" _And with that, let's continue the story fo' yo' lazy-butts!"_ _ **Did you just say Laser-butts?**_

* * *

 _ **~ WHOOOOOOOOOOOSH ~**_

* * *

"Welcome to Oz-Kick!" James shouts as he kicks a dogoo like a football "If you were trying to sound cool! Haa! Then it didn't work!" Maddy tells him as she slices up a wolf "Thank you for contacting James' brain, he will be with you in roughly 21 years" James replies in a robotic monotone as he slams his sword onto a row of dogoos.

The two were out on a quest to deal with some wolves and dogoo's causing trouble for travellers, mostly because Mini-Histy requested it as the Planeptune CPU's were napping and playing games.

"Don't forget I can still kick your ass. So don't go getting smart with me" Maddy replied harshly "I'm sooooo scared~ look at me shivering" James said cockily as he kicks a dogoo into a tree "Anyways, change of subject. I hear you've been helping Mini-Histy develop a new console, which makes no sense since you're more experienced in IT" Maddy asked "Plutia and Neptune won't help her, soooo I offered her help since consoles aren't all that different from a computer. Also learning how to build a console sounded fun" What a nerrrrrrrrrrd… Wait I can't talk.

"Look at that, 3 dogoos all bunched up. How cute, too bad this is in my favour. _Reverse Slice_ " Holy shit he actually learned a skill for once… _Ahem_. James charged at the grouped dogoos dragging his sword along the ground only to stop in front of them and bring his sword up. Spinning a full 360 using the momentum he slams his sword down overhead into the middle dogoo killing it, the attack also hits the two other dogoos killing them as well.

'AOE Slash? What is this sorcery?' You may ask, but uhh, it's hard to explain so just roll with it.

"Now that, that is taken care of, let's report to the guild and return back to Mini-Histy" Maddy told him as she began to make her leave.

* * *

 _Meanwhile at Planeptune's Basilicom…_

"It's a bright, sunshiney day! It's even awesome indoors" Neptune says lazily "Uh-huuuuuh… When it's this warm, I feel like taking a nap…" Y'all are fucking lazy "Don't be silly. You're sleepy no matter the weather, sillypants" Neptune tells Plutia happily "Nuh-uhhhhhhh… I can tell you're sleepy, too..." They're like cats… In terms of laziness. Then again I can be just as lazy.

"I can't help it. The weather's so perfect for log sawing..." Excuse me what? Is that a saying now? "I agree… Let's take a really long nap… _* instant sleep coma *_ " How does that even work?!

…

"Hrrmm… Zzz..." They're actually fucking sleeping… "Zzz… Zzz..." THIS ISN'T HOW SLEEP WORKS "ZZZ… Snnrrk..." I'm done. I give up.

* * *

"Why in Gamindustri are you two sleeping right now!? Σ (¯¯Ш¯¯" THANK FUCK THE STORY CAN FINALLY PROGRESS! Histoire you are a tiny gift on this insane author.

"Ack! M-My wake-up alarm?!" Neptune shouted as she woke "That was soooo cruel, Histy… Don't yell around napping people" Plutia complained "I am going to yell, because this nation has TWO CPUs who do nothing but slack off every day. Even the author is getting annoyed at you two ( • A • *" Note to self: Buy Histy a gift later.

"You simply must begin to tackle your workloads! ᵋ = (= ˋ • ˊ =)" Am I the only one creeped out by that emoticon?

"I know, but look outside! The weather's too nice to do stuff..." Neptune complained "Napping is the best choice… _* Instant sleep coma… again *_ " Annnnnnnnnnd, she's gone "Do not fall asleep in the middle of my lecture! The two of you ought to go learn from Noire and Alex. (¯¯ ˆ¯¯)" Anyone else find it cute even when she's angry?

"Yo, Histy we're…back…? Huh? Oh, OH." James called out as he entered the room with Maddy following "And here are _two_ prime examples of people who actually do work. ( _▼_ )" Mini-Histy scolds as she points to the two entrants "Do we have to force them to work again, Histy?" James enquired "I hope not. (˅ _ ˅;)" Mini-Histy answers him.

"Noire? I guess we haven't seen her for a while" Nice going, Neptune, you managed to completely derail the conversation "She's too busy… She became a CPU and made her own nation, you know, um...what's-it-called… Blast...something? It sounded like Lactation..." Plutia answered her overly hyper friend "Oh! Last Rebellion!" You have got to be shitting me… "Lastation! (˃˂)"

"Oh, yep, that's the ticket. Noire's such a workaholic, huh? She can't make any friends 'cuz she loves working too much" Neptune proclaimed "Ohhh, is that why? It must be lonely to not have any friends..." ( - . - )7 R.I.P Nowa.

"Her work ethic is what makes her a grand CPU! You two really should learn from her example. (*ˋ ˄ ˊ )" Mini-Histy yells at the two girls "Baww, don't be a pissy Mini-Histy. You'll get wrinkles on that teeny-tiny cutesy-wutesy face!" I personally find it adorable when she's angry "Your opinion is invalid, Author" Way to be an ass, James.

"That's right, Histy. You're sooooo cute..." Plutia complimented "Flattery will get you nowhere! \\(* ˋ ˄ ˊ )/ Lastation has enough shares to be a threat to Lowee!" Oh shit, it does?! Hold up- HOLY SHIT IT DOES. That's fucking gold.

"Even though Planeptune is home to two CPUs, we… (; ˊ ○ ˋ)" Poor lass… "I feel your pain Histoire… In a way at least..." Maddy sighed.

"Why do you keep praising Noire? There's nothing we can do about it. My Histy told me to sit tight until she thinks up a way to get me home" Listen here you li- calm down…

"W-Well, that is true… ( ; ˊ ˅ ˋ ) But waiting patiently and doing nothing at all are different..." Well, to be fair they aren't that different… "She hasn't given us a ring-a-ling for years. If we try to call her, it won't connect" Neptune complains "W-Well, connecting to a different dimension is a bit more difficult than a long-distance call. (-_-;)"

"Even at maximum processing output, it takes me approximately three days to establish a connection. (˃○˂)" That ain't _that_ bad… try downloading your entire game library on Australian internet in less than a day… considering my game library is over 100 and some are quite big in size… it would take like a week.

"Whaddaya want me to do about it!? Mini-Histy and my Histy are to blame! It's a double Histy fail!" Neptune argues with her hands on her hips "Urrgh.. It may be partially my fault, but that does not mean you may nap each and every day! (ﬤ д ˋ" Where's the popcorn? Ahh, nevermind found it.

"Oh, boy. If only Mini-Histy could get in touch with my Histy, maybe then I could work hard. Oh well.." Neptune says "She's fucked..." James mumbles and Maddy snickers a bit "G-Grrrrrrrrr. {{ (˃_˂) }}" She ish _* chew *_ very _* gulp *_ Pissed.

"Uh-oh, Neppy… She's vibrating with rage..." Plutia tells her friend "It's just so annoying that Mini-Histy is a junky old model that sucks so hard at computing things" OOF! "In MY world, Mini-Histy would be less awesome than a calculator. Junksty!" OUCH!

"* _Snap_ * (# ˋ-_ↄ )" OWIE! "Oooh, what a scary noise" MY BONES! "( ˋ д ˊ ) GRAAAAAH! Who are you calling Junksty?! I...I...I dare you say it again!" BONE! HURTING! JUICE! "Deep-fried HDMI cables! Histy has evolved into Pissty!" (˅_˅)7

"That was sooooo mean… Histy has a complex about her low processing power..." She probably has more power than a perfect gaming desktop though… "Really? Did I accidentally grind her teeny-tiny gears?" Neptune asked "100 credits says they get kicked out" Maddy bets with her friend "200 says we all get kicked out" James answers with a counter-bet "Your on."

"You are merely passing the blame onto me so that you can slack off, are you not !? (ˋ д ˊ)" Mini-Histy yells at her "And Plutia, you are slacking off without offering any kind of excuse! ( ˋ ω ˊ *)" C-C-C-C-Combo breaker! "Wh-Whoa, she's really mad! Don't pop your top, Pissty!"

"That made me imagine her head flying off like a rocket..." No, Just No. "Ain't no time for goofy jokes, bud!" Neptune tells Plutia. On a scale of 1-UrFuckedKiddo, they are very much fucked.

"You will not receive any lax treatment from me today. (-_-҂) Go and learn from Noire!" Mini-Histy yells "Get to Lastation this instant and see what it means to do the work of a CPU! ( ˋ д ˊ )" She's really pissed… "Man, Noire's our teacher now? That makes my stomach feel weird… I got my pride, you know!" What pride? "Aww, yay, Noire… It'll be fun to see her again… But her nation is soooo far away, and I'm soooo sleepy..." This girl…

"You are still saying such lazy things!? (° д °#)" I'm not surprised at this point… "Uh-oh, that's one angry emote! Characters designed to be cute shouldn't make that scary face!"

(*ˋ д ˊ#) ╯︵ ┻━┻ One-upping that angry emoticon sorry-notsorry.

"Yeah, I wanna see you happy… Give us a biiiiig smile..." No. "My facial expressions are not your concern right now! Get over to Lastation, NOW! (_)" Mini-Histy yelled as she pushed them out the door "Whoaaaa!" Deserved.

"Hah…haah… Those two really don't know when to listen" Mini-Histy said aloud "Tell us about it..." the duo said together "I hate to ask this of you two. But could you go with them and make sure they get some work done?" Mini-Histy asked.

"Will do," Maddy answered, she then walked out the door with James following behind.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **Is it me or is it far more amusing that the narrator is actually just me… Probably just me… See you next week! Also like before some emote won't work because REEEEEE that's why.**_

 _ **Oh and Reverse Slice is a skill from ESO. Because I am unoriginal and don't wan't to spend an hour thinking**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	15. Chapter 14

_**Chapter 14: Welcome to Lastation!**_

* * *

Alex walked into the Basilicom with some takeout food from who knows where only to be greeted by James in a butler outfit…

"Welcome to Hell, how may I take your order?" James greeted with a bow… "I already have food though..." Alex answered him slightly confused "Are you sure Sir? We have a great selection, like… a Steaming Cup of Bullshit, with a side of Go Fuck Yourself..." James told his friend.

Silence for like 5 seconds then they both burst out laughing for like 2 minutes.

"What the hell did I miss?" Maddy asked the two who were still laughing and so through the laughter, the situation was explained which earned some more laughter from her which quickly died down.

"This skit was brought to you by the real-life events of the Author's life when he was playing some games and he literally did this" That was then trumped later into the night when I made an even more terrible set of jokes to the point where I could not fucking breath and my stomach was fucking hurting… Oh the times I've had with Myself the Lad-himself-who-I-will-not-name and his girlfriend. Hint any and all decent jokes that aren't like…overly fucked up will probably be in the story somehow… I find it convenient that… Never mind.

* * *

"Fucking finally. For a couple of lazy Goddesses, you two can fucking book it." James said as he caught up with the two CPUs.

"Maybe you're just slow! Hahaha!" Neptune laughed at him which received a dangerous look in response but she brushed it off.

"Maddy? Is the incinerator still functional?" James asked with a deadly smile "Why yes it is. Would you like it prepared?" She answered with a smile of her own as Neptune finally took in the looks the two were giving each-other and visibly gulped.

"Yes, please. I have a bunch of _junk_ to incinerate, like… All the _pudding_." He answered with a smile so deadly it would give Iris a run for her money.

Needless to say, Neptune panicked "A-A-Ah, y-you don't n-need to do that…please!"

"You're right Neptune, we forgot to take in to account the recipes need incineration as well! Thanks for the reminder" Iris didn't rub off on him, did she? Please tell me she didn't…

Neptune panicked again "Imsorryimsorryimsorry!" She quickly sputtered out.

"Hey… Stop bullying Neppy…" Plutia said with a hint of anger in her tone "Oh my, Plutia has come to save the day!" Neptune cheered as Plutia started laughing like a maniac "Without me of course…! I want to have fun too…!"

"Shit fuck outta luck shoulda chose your friends better" James sneered with an old reference that probably 1 of you will ever get.

Maddy sighed "Alright I think that's enough for now" James sighed and muttered something whereas Plutia just looked a little saddened that she couldn't continue the fun… not that I would try to stop her.

After the lovely conversation of potential sadistic tendencies, the party of 4 moved towards their destination…

"Hey… I've been thinking" James began as he slashed a dogoo apart "About what?" Maddy asked, kicking another into a wall "Monsters are dangerous and all…but… Back home our country is a lot more deadly than these common monsters and even the stronger monsters" he finished.

"Hmm? This sounds interesting, you never did tell us about your home" Purple Heart spoke up as she slashed at the wolf in front of her.

"Short story: Everything wants you dead one way or another. Long story: There are a lot of deadly creatures that can kill you very quickly, and it makes the monsters here seem like a big joke when you start getting into what makes them so deadly." James answered her

Suddenly music starts playing out of nowhere…

* * *

 _Red back, funnel web, blue-ringed octopus  
Taipan, Tiger snake, Adder, Box Jellyfish  
stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell, that spikes you when you pick it up_

"Umm..."

 _Come to Australia  
You might accidentally get killed_

 _Your life's constantly under threat  
Have you been bitten yet?  
You've only got 3 minutes left  
Before a massive coronary breakdown_

"That sounds… bad..."

 _Red back, funnel web, blue-ringed octopus  
Taipan, Tiger snake, Adder, Box Jellyfish  
Big shark, just waiting for you to go swimming  
At Bondi Beach_

 _Come on_

 _Come to Australia  
You might accidentally get killed  
Your blood is bound to be spilled  
With fear your pants will be  
Filled_

 _Because you might accidentally get killed._

* * *

"Is it really that bad?" Neptune asked "Yes and no… there are deadly creatures that can kill you quickly but they mostly live in lesser populated areas" Maddy answered.

"We lost a war to a bunch of flightless birds..." James joked "Do I even have to ask?" Neptune questioned "No."

"Oh hey, we made it to the other side of the dungeon!" Neptune exclaimed in an excited manner.

"That was quick..." James muttered.

"Let's hurry and get to Noire's place so we can grab forty-thousand winks." Sleep is nice, but you know what's nicer? My level 9 fishing.

"Is that really all you can think of right now Neptune? Sleeping and lazing away in someone else's home because you got kicked out" James asked with a look that made her flinch slightly.

" **RAAARRRRGH!** " A loud roar alerted the party to the attention of a monster.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." James said irritated as he pulled out his sword and readied himself next to his friend.

"Huh? Uh-oh…!" Plutia said surprised at the surprising encounter with the surprising monster of surprisal… okay, I'll stop.

"Whoa, that's a big one… Is that boss for this dungeon?" Neptune asked surprised… Iris is gonna fucking kill me later for this.

"It's sooooo in our way..." No fucking shit Sherlock.

"Seems to be. Yup." You two make me want to fucking punch a wall sometimes…

"Oh for the love of…" James muttered.

"Grr! Don't you dare stand between me and my naps…!" That's what you care about right now? Someone shoot me right now.

"Oh boy, here we go… Plutie's brow is furrowing!" I am pretty sure someone else is far angrier right now… I mean look at him! He's fucking fuming. Is that a fuse?

"Will you two just hurry the fuck up and get fucking ready before I fucking shove my shoe far up this fucking lizard's ass then gladly gut it with a fucking needle!" James yelled at the two girls.

"Yessir!" Neptune immediately responded transforming straight away "You weren't serious about _that_ were you?" She asked the man who just glared her way "Oh… you were..." Neptune muttered.

"Grr. I just wanna hurry up and get to Noire's house…!" Plutia said angrily as she followed Neptune in transforming "Sadly, I haven't the time to play with you, and my friend here is not too happy either. I've no choice but to come down on you real hard from the start."

" **Rrrrgh…** **?** " The monster was startled by the very harsh words sent towards it by our resident sadist and some guy who has _my_ over the top angry personality when I get extremely pissed off at some cunt in a video game… because I know I got bullshitted.

Neptune sighed "I almost feel bad for the poor monster with these two around..." Neptune got into _position_ _**(HA PHRASING)**_ and a battle began.

* * *

 _ **(You don't want to know what happened… that poor monster. We should really keep Iris Heart away from a very pissed off OC… they get along too well…)**_

"Fucking piece of shit lizard..." James muttered as he put his sword away

"Remind me to never piss him off… and also keep him far away from Sadie when he's like that." Neptune said to Maddy who sighed.

"We finished prematurely… I'm far from satisfied, but still. * _Yawn*_ I guess that's it for me today..." Plutia yawned as she transformed back "Whew..."

"Hmm? You've returned to your quiet self without much fuss." Not even close.

"Well, I'm way too sleepy for HDD… Aww, my eyelids weigh a ton..." Not it!

"You mustn't fall asleep here. Persevere until we reach Lastation." 7

"Fine… Then gimme a piggyback ride..." Plutia said tiredly

Let's just say the moment those words left her mouth, our resident duo of fun booked it towards Lastation.

"H-Hey! Where are you two… and they're gone" Neptune tried calling out to the running duo but they were long gone.

"Neppy… Piggyback..." Plutia asked… more like demanded.

"No. I'm deactivating HDD, which will make it physically impossible for me to carry you," I call bullshit.

"Piggyback! I don't wanna walk anymore..." I can't blame her… walking is fucking painful. What? I'm fucking lazy.

"...Fine. Climb aboard." Oh you poor soul…

"Yippee… Hehehe… Neppy, you have such a large womanly back." …

"Goodness. Not even my own little sister has gotten spoiled like this." …

* * *

"We finally made it. Okay how much do you wanna bet that idiot is somewhere out drinking" Maddy said as the two arrived in Lastation "If he wasn't I would be heavily disappointed in him" James replied as he took a look at the figure in the sky descending next to them.

"All right, Plutie. We've arrived." I don't feel bad whatsoever…

"Zzz… Just five more years..." Plutia complained sleepily.

"Oh, you poor thing..." James said sarcastically receiving a quick glare from Neptune before she turned back to the sleepy girl.

"Enough half-asleep commentary. I really want to return to my normal form, so get down." Rood.

"Boooooo..." Don't you fucking start!

Neptune finally transformed back and sighed. I don't blame her…

"Phew! Finally back in my own skin or whatever! Plutie, it's tiring for me to be in HDD that long." I call bullshit.

"...Mmph… Huuuuuuuh?" Plutia looked surprised at her new surroundings.

"Uh, what's wrong? Why the drawn-out noise?" Neptune asked confused.

"Uh-oh, uh-ohhhhh! Neppy, this is a mystery… I woke up in a strange town!" Did you hear that? That's the sound of the many palms/desks hitting faces. Except me, I spun around in a circle facepalming other people like a tornado of questionable life choices.

"Uh, yeah. I carried you here." Poor girl… nah.

"Huh? Oh, you're right… I was sleeping on your back..." Is her face… you know what I won't ask.

"Yeesh. When I'm alone with you, Plutie, I have to play the straight man. It's really tough." Neptune said which received 2 specific glares.

"I'm not the witty-aside type like Iffy. I'm the shining star of dumb and dorky commentary!" Neptune complained. And I am the questionable author of many confusions.

"This is such a big, pretty town. It really reminds me of Noire..." You know what else reminds me of Noire? My social life… get it because… I'll stop now.

"Kinda-sorta. Lots of angles and a hint of OCD. My world's Lastation is pretty similar." Is it? I don't pay enough attention.

"In more ways than one..." James muttered.

"Hey, let's go see Noire. Come on, let's go, let's goooo..." Plutia said happily dragging Neptune with her.

"You two have your fun. We are going to go find someplace to get a drink and probably find Alex there. If you see him at the Basilicom just tell him we went drinking" James said to the two girls as they walked off to find some pub or whatever.

"Huh? Whoa! Don't tug my arm so hard. You're a sleepyhead, but you've got pizzazz when you're awake."

"Let's hurry and find Noire's house. I'm still sleeeeeeepy..." You're always sleepy…

"...I retract my pizzazz comment. You are 100 percent focused on being a sleepyhead." Seems legit.

* * *

The duo eventually found a pub and made their way inside and whaddya know our resident cunny funt is here.

"So he is out drinking..." Maddy mused as the two made their way over to their friend sitting on either side of him.

"Hmm? Huh? Maddy…? James…?" He said groggily as he took another sip at his drink.

"Sup. How's life been treating you the last 3 years?" James greeted as he ordered himself a bottle of Jack.

"Other than Noire driving me crazy about working… Pretty good. She's worse than the other Noire..." Alex answered as he took another sip "I come here every now and then just to get away from her."

"Smart man," James says as he pours himself and Maddy a glass "So what are you two doing here other than visiting me after 3 years," Alex asks the two.

"Making sure those girls work… but I doubt they would listen plus we haven't seen each other in a while so we decided to drop by you first. Noire can handle it... Probably." Maddy answers him.

After finishing the bottle and paying for the drinks the three left the pub to go see the girls. Yes while drunk…

"Yo! Noire! You around!" Alex called out and here she comes… convenient "Oh, you're back, and it seems those two are with you" she grumbled, "Where are the girls?" Maddy asked "They took off after we talked about the scout system. Hmph, It's not like I want to see them anyway."

"And the tsun is back..." Alex mutters as the three laugh at her tsun nature. Noire returned back to her office-room-thingy with the trio behind her.

"Did you hear that?" Alex asked "That's just the sound of Mini-Histy losing her shit… again" James answered brushing it off rather quickly… don't question how he knows this…

Sitting down on the nearby couch the trio start up a game of cards… don't ask how they got the cards.

* * *

About a half-hour later of drunken cards Plutia and Neptune returned after being scolded by Mini-Histy.

"We made Mini-Histy mad again." Good.

"Hehehe… That's why we're back..." Good.

"* _pout_ *" How the fuck did. what?, I don't even know any-more roll the story. "But for real, this dimension's Histy is such a baby when she's mad. She's got no funny bone installed!" Pick your poison, Neptune…

"We thought we'd learn how to work reeeeally hard from you until she calms down..." I mean have you tried turning her off and on again? Wait, is that even possible?

"* _more dramatic pout*_ "

"Would you fucking stop pouting you damn hard-headed tsundere! We get it already!" Alex complained "Dammit!" He yelled again… probably lost at cards.

"Ummmm… Are you mad, too…?" Plutia asks the girl of the tsun. "I win" Maddy claims as the two boys pull out some credits and hand them over.

"Not really..." Keep this up Noire and I will shove you in a fucking closet… probably.

"But your face is soooo angry… Neppy, you see it too, right?" The answer is most likely yes "I can't tell. Noire's a pisspot all the time, whether it's in her face or her attitude" Neptune answers the sleepy girl.

"What!? Don't call me a pisspot! **(But you are…)** That makes no sense! Don't talk like you know me!" But she does… technically "Uh-oh, I knew it… She IS mad..." Isn't that more amusing though? "Only because she just ticked me off!" Noire complains.

"Hey, think of a calm blue ocean, and then look at how sad Plutie's face is." Think of a kicked puppy, now think of how sad Plutie's face is, now compare them, and then think of Iris Heart holding the puppy and being a decent person for once, now question what the point of this was…

"Don't act like you have nothing to do with this! You two are both at fault, you know!" Are they though? Are they really? "All three of you are at fault..." James mumbles "Fuck!" Looks like he lost first this time.

"Awwww, boo-hoo… Noire..." Plutia says with a saddened look. Plutia you are a legend in the making…

"Ugh! H-Hmph! Just because you make that face doesn't mean I'll forgive you." Bullshit… yes, you will. "I mean, we haven't seen each other for so long. I was happy that you two were depending on me..." Is she crying? Holy fuck she is! GET THE FUCKING CAMERA!

"Waaaaah…!" Oh great now Plutia is crying… "Huh? Jeez, are you crying?! Why?!" Noire says panicking a bit.

"Wow, you made her cry. You're such a bully, Noire! Noire bullied a girl to tears!" Neptune tells her as if she was in trouble with the teacher or something like that.

"N-No I didn't…! Come on, it's okay… So stop crying, please?" Yes, you did… don't deny it.

"You...won't be mad anymore…?" Plutia asks in a more cheered up tone. "SNAP!" Wait… are those three fucking playing Snap? That's fucking golden… I wish I had friends…

"I won't be upset with you two. I promise, okay?" Noire said cheering the girl up more "Oh, okay. Hehehe..." Plutia smiled cheerfully as Noire sighed "Phew… Yeah, there you go. Smile like you always do." {Hammer} moon2S Smile or Kneecaps. _**(I doubt anyone knows that reference. I could be wrong.)**_

"Noire, it's because you react in such weird and huffy-puffy ways that things get all complicated." Neptune don't try and scold people you aren't fit for the job… maybe not in that form though.

"Stop making me out to be a villain!" It takes me at least 3 seconds, a can of coke, and a song about birds for me to make that reality.

"Uh-oh… Are you getting mad again…?" Plutia asks which causes her to panic again "N-No, I'm not… Ugh, fine! Let's go. You came here to learn how to work, right?" Noire asks the two girls who nod and follow her out the Basilicom.

"So… we've played blackjack, solitaire, snap, go-fish, Uno! How you got the set for that I won't ask… and we lost every single time to _her_ " Alex tells the boy sitting next to him "Let's just… stop, yeah..." James admits in defeat to which Alex agrees and Maddy just smirks.

"We have some time to kill… so how about some shooter games on Lastation's console? It's the dimensional equivalent to Cod" Alex asks the two who nod in response "There are multiple consoles right? Because fuck split-screening. * _sigh*_ wish I had my computer with me these days." James asks while complaining.

"Yeah there is a room set up for LAN Parties courtesy of me suggesting it" Alex answers with a smug face "You legend..." James smirks and follows him with Maddy behind him.

* * *

About 3 and a half hours later… "GO FUCK YOURSELF! YOU PIECE OF SHIT COCK-SUCKING CUNT OF A PERSON WHO RELIES ON AIM ASSIST TO HELP GET KILLS!" Yelling, screaming, more yelling, insults thrown left and right, and a very pissed off James… that's just the more passive insults. He is _very_ competitive when he gets really into it a real life trait from me because I thought it would be funny.

The girls returned around 2 hours before this. And yes everyone inside the Basilicom heard this…

"Yikes! Someone is a little too into that game" Neptune flinches at the sudden yelling as she enters the Basilicom making her way to Noire's office-room-questionable-place? Opening the door she is met with Plutia holding paperwork… weird right?

"Noire, I'm aaaaall done with the paperwork..." she says as she holds it out to Noire "Hmm, let's see..." Needless to say, she was really surprised… I would be too.

"Ummmm, if I didn't know an answer or it confused me, I drew a frowny face by it. I hope that helps you..." Plutia says in her usual cheerful tone "Uh, thanks..."

Hey Author! Is it my turn yet? **(You can't just… oh, screw it. Yes)** "The breadwinner is back home! I finished three, count 'em, three Quests today" Only three? _(HEY!_ )

"Three? I-Impressive..." No, it's not… _(You be quiet and stop insulting my delicate self!)_ No.

"Check this out! The client was so happy and said I did a good job, so he gave me...a bag of goodies!" Neptune says happily waving around a literal bag of goodies "Ooh, that looks tasty… You're soooo lucky, Neppy..." Plutia cheers.

Suddenly 3 people walk into the room one is pretty smug right now another is neutral, and the last one is… how do I explain this… Blanc when she's pissed but like multiplied by 10 and saying words not even I should fucking write in here.

"Not to worry Plutie-poo, we can split the spoils later. Let's gobble 'em up after dinner!" Neptune tells the sleepy airhead, "Yaaaaay…!" Plutia cheers.

Noire was completely taken aback by this development… I mean I would be too. Seriously? Neptune, working? HA.

"Huh? What's up, Noire? I didn't forget about you! You can have some, too..." Neptune asks the girl as the trio sits down on the couch one still muttering insults, "No, it's not that. I'm just… Surprised? Bewildered, maybe? You both can actually work, huh?"

"How rude, dude! I can work if I want. I just don't wanna, usually…" Neptune says proudly(?) I wouldn't be proud of that… actually yes I would since I am quite similar, I can do things… I just can't be fucked to actually do it.

"Yep, yep. If we don't do work, Histy or Maddy and James gets it done for us..." That's not a good thing you know. "I feel bad for them… You should be taking care of your responsibilities..." If I can shove something onto someone else I fucking will.

"So? Are we all done for today?" Neptune asks the black-haired tsun "Sure. When we started, I thought we'd never get it all done, but..." Yes, you would because you are a workaholic.

"Yippee…! Is it okay if we take a biiiig nap now?" Plutia asks "Why are you rushing to bed…? I'll put on a pot of tea and then we can relax..." Noire tells her and was about to do just that… shocking! I know!

Some random guard then barges in "Lady Black Heart! Lady Black Heart!" Shut up you fucking annoying cunt you sound like an alarm and I find alarms fucking annoying.

"Hmm? The border patrol guard?" Noire looks confused at the sudden appearance of the human alarm clock "Oh, this is common fanfic writing. If you try to relax, there's a high chance it'll trigger more trouble." Bullshit. Ask me nicely and I'll consider it.

"Aww… So no more tea…?" Plutia says saddened as the trio actually perk up to listen to the guard since it sounds somewhat interesting, "It's...It's terrible… Something so awful that it threatens our nation's existence!" War? Russia? A Giant Alien creature that can raze a planet?

"Calm down and explain it to me." Noire says calmly trying to work out what is going on, "U-Understood! I apologise. I got a bit worked up over it..." the random guard says scratching the back of his head.

"Why does it always all go to hell on my shift? If it were tomorrow, I'd be drinking alone at home..." The guard complains. Dude, seriously? You wanna' fucking die?

"Okay, now you're too calm! Stop complaining and explain!" Noire shouts at the poor nameless guard that would probably get killed off so quickly it's not even funny.

"M-My apologies again! So basically… Lowee's CPU has invaded!" Oh… that's boring I thought it would be more interesting.

"What?!" Noire shouts surprised as the others have their attention now fully grabbed "Lowee's CPU… That's Blanc!" Neptune says surprised "Uh, so where is she?" She then asks "I wanna say hi, too… Tell us where she is, pleeeease..." No.

"U-Um, I asked her to wait by the border for the time being." That's fucking stupid. "She complied? So she's waiting there quietly? Did you leave a guard there with her?" Noire asks.

"Oops… Sorry! I panicked and rushed here, so I didn't think about it..." Your stupidity has reached critical levels! "Way to go genius..." Maddy muttered to her friends.

"You dunce! That's YOUR job!" Noire yells at him. Well to be fair anyone else would panic when someone with a giant axe is pissed and ready to chop heads… and possibly your balls too. "A-And that's why I apologised!" Dig your grave deeper lad.

"Sounds like Noire hires people who are as difficult to deal with as she is." Neptune teases which earns a snicker from Alex with him muttering something about her being right.

"You'll sound like a meanie if you raise your voice to him… There, there… Nice guard..." Plutia consoles the poor guard who is _this_ close to getting his ass whooped.

"Such adorable kindness…! You truly are a CPU!" Well then… he's fucked. "Hey! Don't steal my citizens!" Noire tells her off before sighing "Whatever. If she's serious about invading, it wouldn't matter if a guard were there or not." Yesn't it would. "I'll go and send her back myself. I've got to hurry!" She says as she runs off.

"Hold your horsebirds, little lady! We'll go, too." Neptune calls out after her as she catches up "Wait for meeeee..." Plutia says as she goes to catch up with them.

The trio look to each other "Shall we?" Maddy asks with a smirk "We shall" the boys answer as they all get up and take off towards the border.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **I wonder how many people will understand my references… probably like 3 people for the more obscure ones, the one about the deadly country Australia is just obvious and pretty accurate.**_

 _ **Until Friday my lads and lasses of the internet. Also Happy 12th anniversary to 6/06/2006 the day of the great Falador Massacre.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	16. Chapter 15

_**Chapter 15: Lowee's CPU and Wave 63**_

* * *

On the way to the border between Lowee and Lastation one lad takes a detour…

"Okay I am pretty sure I fucked up and am nowhere near the border considering where the fuck I am right now..." in front of James is a bizarre cave with strange rock monsters yet they are passive.

Walking around he learns this place is a lot more interesting than he first thought… in fact, these rock monsters are more civilised than he would have thought.

Shops for weapons, ores, runes? gems, and more. Walking up to an enclosed area with a chest and another rock creature nearby he tries to talk with said rock creature.

"Hello there, can I ask where I am?" James asks the strange rock creature "You are in Mor Ul Rek, JalYt."

"What did you just call me?" James asked confused at the familiar words but can't put his finger on it.

"Are you not JalYt?" Still trying to work out the words of this odd creature he asks another question "What's a 'JalYt'?"

"That what you are… you not from around here no?" Still a little confused he answers the rock creature "Well yes I suppose I am..."

"Then you JalYt!" I think I should just like give you the translation for those who might be confused but after this dialogue…

"What are you then?" James asks the rock creature "Daft JalYt, I am TzHaar-Ket, one of the guardians of our city. There are the wise TzHaar-Mej who guide us, the swift TzHaar-Xil who hunt for our food, and the skilled TzHaar-Hur who craft our homes and tools."

* * *

 _ **(If you haven't understood what this reference is yet it's from Runescape, specifically old school. It's the TzHaar area and it's one giant reference to one of my major achievements in the game. JalYt = Cold Foreigner. The rest doesn't matter too much…)**_

* * *

Deciding to leave this enclosed space James has his eye caught by a cave entrance… within the cave. Standing next to the entrance is another rock creature.

"You want help JalYt?" The creature asks "What is this place?" James asks pointing to the entrance "This is the fight cave, TzHaar-Xil made it for practice, but many JalYt come here to fight too. Just enter cave and make sure you're prepared."

"Are there any rules?" James asks intrigued by the idea of the cave "Rules? Survival is the only rule in there."

"Do I win anything?" He asks "You ask a lot of questions. Might give you TokKul if you last long enough."

"..." 'I am very confused' he says in his head "Before you ask, TokKul is like your Coins." 'We use coins? Whatever' he says in his thoughts

"Gold is like you JalYt, soft and easily broken, we use hard rock forged in fire like TzHaar!" _**(Lol… at the time of finishing this, I get a surprise exam… Free XP when I haven't even played in months**_ _ **)**_ Pondering it for a moment he decides to take the cave on, and walk straight in.

 _Wave 1_.

* * *

 _ **~ Meanwhile with the others who weren't stupid ~**_

"Where's the nerd?" Alex asks as he looks around for his friend "I don't know. Think he did something stupid and got lost?" Maddy answers to which the lad just shrugs "Probably."

Catching up with the girls as they get close to the border the duo find them in discussion.

"Golly, _**(Why is this a thing?)**_ I sure do wonder what the Blanc of this world is like," Neptune says in a very excited manner.

"You look soooo excited, Neppy… What kind of girl do you know her to be?" Plutia asks, "Uh, she's quiet, smart, and calm. _**(Bullshit!)**_ If left alone, she could read books for the rest of forever," You are wayyyyy too excited tbh.

"You forgot 'Will kill anything that moves when provoked'" Alex chimed in.

"So she's everything you're not."

"Hahaha, yeah, I guess," Neptune says nervously "But when we hang out together, we're pretty good pals."

"Oh! And if I act silly, she's great at making blunt comebacks!" You should not be proud of that… like ever.

"Wow, fuuuuun…!" Plutia says with a smile on her face, "I see. So what does that mean? Are you better friends with her than the me in your world?" Noire asks, but for real that's hilarious, thinking you have friends.

"Now that's a toughie. I mean, Noire is Noire, so… Wait… Are you jealous, by chance?" Neptune teases "Yes, yes she is" Alex teases.

"What?! D-Don't flatter yourself! Who would ever be jealous of that?!" Noire being a tsun doesn't work here, it just makes people want to tease you more.

"Aww, don't worry about it! I heat you plenty, Noire!" Neptune tells her, "I just prefer teasing her endlessly" Alex admits the absolute truth with a hand over his heart.

Noire is quite the flustered one ain't she? Huh? Oh, they made it. That was quicker than it should have been…

"Hey! You finally made it assholes! Kept me damn waiting!" A familiar voice shouts snapping Noire out of her flustered state.

"Oh hey, it's the angry washboard. Hello!" Alex greets with an insult that receives a giant axe thrown in his general direction.

"Who do you think you're calling a 'washboard' you damned perv!" Is he though? Probably.

Alex just laughs at the development known as 'pissing Blanc off for shits n' giggles' "Yikes, she's all HDD'ed up. Plutie let's go hide in that convenient bush!" Neptune says as she drags Plutia over to the most convenient bush I've ever seen.

"Huuuh? Not so hard, Neppy…!" Alex and Maddy just look at each other for a second then dive into a bush opposite of Neptune.

"Hmph. She's serious, isn't she? If it's a fight she wants, then..." Noire transforms with her oh so cocky attitude. I am so getting 'punished' later aren't I?

"...I need to activate HDD, too!" Never does it not occur to me how weird that sounds… it just nopes.

"Aww, wait for us… Neppy, we should go, too..." Plutia complains, "No way! Blanc's usually nice and quiet, but when she's pissed, well… think of a shark, a bear, a crocodile, a snake, and an octopus all combined into one horrifying creature of murderous death that very much will kill you." Yeah, that's uh, pretty accurate.

"And when you toss HDD into the mix..." Ahh yes… fun times… "When she transforms…?" Plutia asks confused "The previous creature is eaten by an even bigger creature made from every possible deadly animal in existence!" Seems legit.

Noire finally approached the raging child of potential disaster. 110% Chance of me dying after this chapter.

"Sorry for the wait. Here I am!" Wow, what an entrance _clap clap clap…_ SARCASM.

"Took you long enough you damn bitch! How long did you intend on keeping me waiting, Huh!?" I mean she's not wrong… you are a bitch.

"Don't curse at me. That's a rude greeting," Rude? Sorry but that ain't rude. Least not where I'm from.

"Whatever! Hmph. I'm not the one going around with that nasty face!" That would be Me! HAHA… I just insulted myself… fuck.

"What nasty face? Well, let me introduce myself. I'm Lastation's CPU, Black Heart." And I'm Antasco! The one and only legend among legends… not really, I'm just some guy who potentially has many problems.

"This is a surprise. I never thought the illustrious Lowee would have a little girl as their CPU." You aren't that better off either… "Wow, the author has been pulling no punches whatsoever these past few chapters..." Neptune says behind her bush. You do realise… never mind. Thanks!

"Can it, pigtails! Don't they teach manners to new nations? You like keeping your guests waiting forever?" If it makes you angrier… yes.

"Aww, oops. Soooo sorry," No yer not. "No, seriously. I am sorry, but we can't let just any suspicious stranger into our Basilicom." Note to self: Bring suspicious strangers to Noire's Basilicom.

"...You're too damn cocky. You're just some newbie CPU." I feel at home with this insult fest… except it's pretty one-sided in favour of Blanc.

"And there goes the older generation, feeling threatened by the newer, smarter generation. That all you got?" While I admit the PS1 is nice and all… those old Nintendo consoles were as Michael Rosen would say. _Nice._

"You're getting this all on camera right? Maddy?" Alex asks the girl next to him "Of course. This is quality internet material or potential blackmail" she says with a grin.

"Uh-oh, scary times, you guys! Blanc is getting crazy mad!" Thank you Captain Obvious.

"Noire won't back down, though…" I would very much insult her knowing the potential disaster. No, I am not a masochist. Yes, I am a dick.

"Yeah, 'cuz she hasn't had Blanc's fury drilled into her skull. If she gets serious, she'll swing anything around like a weapon and bust up her surroundings." Wait… so theoretically if there was a giant dildo… hmm…

"Ooh, so she uses anything…?" Refer to the previous line. "Yep! And she can split the earth with a single blow! All who come in contact with her are slain!" She's not that bad… I think. "And at the top of the pile of corpses, grinning like a demon, will stand Blanc!"

"Ooh, what a scary story! Blanny is reeeeeally scary!" You can't actually be scared of this… right? "Yes, my friend, she is! Well...maybe I exaggerated her legend a little bit, but hey." That's probably because there is a better legend. _Legend tells us of a man. A hero in a tortured land._

"It's soooo amazing that you have such a scary friend..." I disagree _(Your opinion is invalid Author)_ You be quiet!

"Like I said, she's almost always a super quiet, nice girl. Besides, when it comes to HDD, Sadie is about a hundred times more frightening!" I disagree, personally, I find her to be amusing especially with some popcorn a comfy chair and a pissed off Iris Heart.

"Aww, but I'm always really nice..." Very true… What? Don't look at me with those eyes. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're not," Neptune says nervously.

"You don't have to shake your head that many times..."

"Theeeen...do you wanna compare now? I'll transform and we'll go talk to Blanny…!" Plutia says with a devious smile _**"Do it pussy! You won't!"**_

"Yikes! No, stop! That is definitely not cool! And don't encourage her author man!" How harsh of you Neppy… maybe I should punish you later.

Whoops, Iris took control of the computer while I was getting a drink.

"If you do that, even with me and Noire there, there's no way we could cope with the aftermath…!" I could still make it happen… there are no rules.

"What the hell's up with those two idiots shouting while pretending to hide in those bushes?" Blanc questions the tsun in front of her.

"They're Planeptune's so-called CPUs..." How rude of you, Nowa. I would've thought you to be a little more nice to the girls especially Plutia.

"Maybe you should think harder about the people you associate with" Pfffft.

"Th-That's none of your business! * _Sigh_ * Why are you even here? What business does Lowee's CPU have in my nation?" Noire questions.

"Th-That's, uh… Well… Your dumbass nation doesn't impress me much, and, uh..."

"T-T-T-Today Junior!" Alex shouts from the bushes receiving a quick glare from Blanc, "Don't dodge the question. It's got to be a big deal if the CPU herself came all this way."

"No matter how much you dislike my nation, I can't think you'd come here just to bitch at me." Note to self: Waste Noire's time bitching at her.

"Uh, of course, there's more to it! I'd like to meet a CPU with that much time to kill!" Blanc retorts.

"Exactly. I'm pretty busy-" Noire was about to say more but was interrupted by Alex standing up and pointing an accusing finger at her.

"Bull fucking shit you are! You were literally about ready to sit down and have tea with those two before _she_ showed up. Before that during those 3 years, _you_ forced any unwanted work onto me so you could go fucking cosplay!" Fucking roasted.

"W-W-What?! Th-That's not true at all! And I do not cosplay!" Don't lie he sent me the pictures that he will use as blackmail one day.

"Hahaha! What a joke. Even that asshole isn't even backing you up on this. Maybe you weren't even worth the time at all."

Suddenly the guard from before came running in and behind the guard was our lovely lad… James! There's something different about him though… he looks exhausted he has a strange cape on and there's something following him…

"Lady Black Heart! We have a situation! A serious situation!" The guard shouted at his nation's leader.

"Hey, guys what's up? And why are you hiding in a bush?" James asks his two friends who look at him then at the cape, then the strange creature following him.

"Where the hell were you, and why do you have something you didn't before?" Maddy asks him to which he just laughs nervously "Hahaha… I took a detour and shit happened… I'll explain later" he answered her.

Noire turned around to greet the guard realising it's the same guy "Huh? You again?" Blanc then sighed and spoke quietly "Phew… Am I off the hook?"

"Wow, I thought he was just some throwaway character, but this is his second appearance!" I can change that.

"I never would've guessed it! You're an impressive dude, you know that?" Neptune praises.

"Huh? Um, thank you for your kind words…?" The guard replies slightly confused as to whether he should be insulted or not.

"But his name is just a generic one. It's too bad he didn't get an actual name..." Well let's change that, shall we?

"U-Um, well, I do have a name, I just haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Sam." Sam the guard greets.

"Whoa… the author actually gave him a name? That wasn't in the original script." I feel praised and insulted. Yay!

"But wait… If he has a name, then he's most likely going to pop up again later, right?" Nope.

"Why the heck are you all getting wrapped up in a meta-discussion? Isn't there a crisis?" Noire, this is why you have no friends.

"Oh! You're right! Forgive me for that Lady Black Heart!" Sam the guard apologises.

"So what happened? Tell me already" Noire demands, "Yes! I received word that someone is attacking one of our nation's software manufacturing factories!" Sam the guard informs Noire of the crisis.

"What?! Who's responsible?!" Noire demands from the guard "Uh, I don't really know… That's kind of why I used the generic pronoun 'someone.'" Sam the guard answers.

"Yes, I know that much, geez! You surely know the foe's number, and the scale of damage…?" She asks slightly pissed off.

"Oh...no, sorry… I didn't listen to the whole report." Sam the guard admits nervously. Dude, you are fucked.

"As soon as we're done here, this guy's fired. I should hurry over there!" Noire says as she turns to Blanc "So, hey, Lowee's CPU!" She calls out, "Huh? Whaddaya want?" Blanc asks her.

"I don't know why you came here, but you better not pull any other unnecessary stunts. You got that?!" What is she a five year old?

"A factory assault? I feel like this has happened to me before, so we'd better go, too. Smell ya later!" Neptune says as she takes off after Noire with Plutia following close behind.

"Bye-bye!" Plutia waves goodbye to the confused Blanc.

"Uhh… Okay, bye-bye..."

"..."

"AGHHHHH! Why the hell did I even come here?!" Because you are weird…

Now onto our trio who are chasing after the girls while James explains what happened while he was gone.

"Alright, so you won't believe what happened while I was gone. At first, I didn't realise it but then it hit me… I was in the TzHaar fight caves going through all 63 waves and earning myself a sick cape" James begins his tale which earns an interested look from the two.

* * *

 _ **~ Some time ago ~**_

 _Wave 63_

 _Final Challenge!_

* * *

After an exhausting run through the previous 62 waves, James finally made it to the final wave against good ol' Yad (TzTok-Jad)

"Alright if I learnt anything about spawns, staying here at Italy Rock to regain my composure is a smart choice right now..." James mutters to himself as he stays in a safe position to calm himself down.

"It was a pain in the ass dodging those attacks during the waves knowing how hard they really hit. No prayer, no food, no ranged weapon. This will be difficult."

After composing himself he runs from his position towards the giant red beast slashing at its front leg before jumping back to avoid the falling rocks.

The mechanics of this area are strange as the monster has a health bar and attacks show hitsplats of your damage, the previous attack was a 32. The twist from the regular fight since we aren't following all the rules of RS is that Jad has 750HP instead of 250.

Dodging the large fireball just barely James runs at Jad performing a double slash at its chest.

 _21, 15. 682/750_

Blocking the massive fist(?) that was about to hit him he backs off with an uppercut slash.

 _12\. 670/750_

A fireball was sent his way barely missing him however the resulting explosion knocked him onto his back giving Jad time to slam some rocks down. Reacting quickly James rolls out of the way and kicks himself back up charging at Jad, sliding under him while dealing multiple slashes to its chest.

 _25, 13, 45. 587/750_

Jumping back to avoid the fist(?) from the red beast he dashes forward and stabs his sword into the fist(?) dealing massive damage.

 _67! 520/750_

"Just how much health does this guy have?! He never had this much..." James complains that the creature isn't even halfway dead yet.

* * *

Around a minute later of dodging and attacking because no one wants to see that much fucking text… it's boring even for me.

 _30\. 375/750 Healers spawned._

Thinking fast after noticing that the healers have spawned he quickly _Reverse Slice's_ bring their aggro onto him and keeping them from healing Jad.

Killing off the healers quickly while dodging the attacks from Jad he makes his move again this time abusing the fuck out of _Reverse Slice_ because it's broken as fuck when the enemy has 50% or less health, doing up to 300% more damage the lower the HP despite its 3-second cooldown.

 _50! 77! 93! 105! 50! 0/750!_

* * *

 **Wave 63 Complete.**

 **Duration: 46:16**

 **You have a funny feeling like you're are being followed.**

"Holy shit… 1/200… I FINALLY GOT A PET!" James screamed at the top of his lungs as he admired his Mini-Jad pet… if only I could get a pet one day…

* * *

 _ **~ Back to the present ~**_

"And that's how I beat the Fight caves got myself this sick ass cape that boosts my melee stats and a sweet pet too," James said finishing his damn story.

"Lucky cunt you are… you gonna do Inferno next or are you too much of a pussy" Alex smirked at his friend who quickly shook his head.

"Fuck no. I am not about to fight a triple Yad and then Zuk, especially with how much fucking health normal Yad has." If you are confused as to why I call him Yad… it's a joke on his name.

"So… does he do anything? Or just follow you around?" Maddy asked pointing to the Mini-Jad, "Follows me around and makes me look cooler than other people" James answers her with a prideful smile.

They arrived at the factory to find it in a bad state… and this is where I call it the end of the chapter. HAHA.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **Good ol' fight caves. I remember how many times I tried it and the panic that ensued when I fought Jad, but I damn beat it and got myself that cape… never got the pet… never got any pet.**_

 _ **A cliffhanger to end it and cool stuff the character has obtained… I mean have you seen the fire cape? It definitely makes you look cool as fuck.**_

 _ **See you all next week!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	17. Chapter 16

_**This message is completely irrelevant to the story and if you don't want to read it please scroll down and continue reading…**_

 _ **Still here? Good. I'd like to sit here and talk about the internet world specifically internet memes. If you haven't heard it yet, in recent news the EU is changing the laws on copyright and with this comes a controversial article known as 'Article 13' in short it would threaten the existence of memes.**_

 _ **There are sites that describe this better and I would recommend looking at them and finding out about this little predicament, all I'm interested in doing is spreading the message and hope I can convince some people to join the fight to save our memes.**_

 _ **Thank you for reading this ~Ant.**_

 _ **...**_

 _ **...**_

 _ **...**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 16: Copy this pasta that.**_

"Wow, this place looks completely fucked." Smooth, Alex, smooth…

"Who would do such a thing…?" A lot of people, Noire. A lot of people.

"And before you say it, Alex, chainsaws are not the solution to every question. Nor is 'more chainsaws'. Or "Chainsaw cannons". Except for that one time. And yes, it was awesome." James chimes in… he's not wrong though, it was pretty fucking awesome.

"The guard said "someone," duh! Weren't you listening?" I would say your sass is unappreciated but, that was some neato sass.

"I know what he said!" Noire says in an annoyed tone

"Play nice, Noire..." Plutia tells the angery tsun.

"Whoever's at fault, they gotta be stopped right away! No slacking off, you two!" I'll slack off whenever I want, you're not my mom!

* * *

Deeper into the factory the heroes find a very loud voice that could potentially break your fucking eardrums.

"Gwahaha! Demolish, destroy! Games that I can't make copies of have no right to exist!" That's fine at least you aren't g2a.

Oh hey, it's the rat.

"You just don't have high enough ripping capabilities, chu." Now, where did I put that rat poison…

"What's that, pipsqueak?! You think you can make copies of these so-called "See-dees"?!" The louder voice sounds throughout the area. Who buys physical copies anymore? Other than cool unique things you can place on a shelf.

"Easily. Busting down any protective measures is the mark of a true pirated wares dealer, chu!" Literally, a google search a click of a button and a torrent site… not that I'm saying you should pirate games but, it really isn't that hard. Now if you wanna talk console games… refer to above.

"Well, I don't like it! Some tiny rat shouldn't be able to do things that I can't! All their games must die!" Let's be real, you couldn't do anything even if you tried.

"Do what you want, I guess. But seriously, why in the world was I forced into coming along?" The rat asks literally no one.

"More people, more destruction! Even a little rat can be helpful! Gaaaahahahaha!" I disagree rats are fucking annoying and like the ibis should go kill themselves. Unlike rats, the ibis just ruins everyone's picnics and are a bunch of cunts.

"Arguing with this meathead is tiring. That old hag was more tolerable… I'll bust stuff up with you, but I ain't gonna even try to fight those CPU broads." the rat says.

"I don't want a coward's help, anyway! Nobody can match my awesome destructive powers in battle!" Vladimir Putin: Hold my vodka…

"You've never met them, so of course you can talk like that… Try beating that sadistic CPU..." If you can't beat them…

Suddenly. "Oooh goodie! It's Mister Rat!" And here arrive our lovely group who followed the loud voices of a rat and a very large robot.

"C-Crap! That sleepy voice…!" The rat says in a slight panic.

"Hehehe. I've miiiissed you..." That smile, that damned smile.

Everyone else is just watching the situation unfold some laughing others sighing, and me, laughing a lot.

"D-Don't come any closer! Stay...Stay back, chu!" Note to self: Give Plutia ideas for future torture methods.

"Ew! Plutie, don't touch that. Wild rats are dirtier than my unwashed cereal bowls!" Dirtier than my room after a long gaming session?!

"Oh, that's right… Mister Rat is icky and dirty..." Plutia says which earns a few snickers among a certain duo.

"I got proper hygiene, y'know! _**(Doubt it)**_ And I'm not a rat, either! My name's Warechu, dang it..." Warechu tells her.

"So this is the rat you were talking about… dammit, I forgot the rat poison." Alex says scratching his chin as he leans in to get a better look.

"If the rat's here, then that must mean the Seven Sages are behind this." Oh nooooooo, how scary…

"THAT IS CORRECT!" HELLO!? TORGUE IS THAT YOU?! EXPLOSIONS?!

"My fucking ears! Be a little louder why dontchya!" Alex yells out at the annoyingly loud robot.

"Whoa, my ears just exploded with noise…! Now that's what I call a loud voice and stuff..." Neptune says in surprise.

"Oww… My ears are ringing..." Plutia complains while covering her ears with her hands.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am one of the Seven Sages! The strongest of them all… COPYPASTE!" WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS INTRODUCTORY TEXT COMING FROM!?

"( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) OVERCONFIDENCE IS A SLOW AND INSIDIOUS KILLER ( ͠° ͟ʖ ͡°) " Alex shouts aloud to no one.

"Are we really doing copypastas right now? Just because his name is Copypaste? Also how the fuck did you use emoticons, what the actual fuck..." James scolds his friend

"But fuck that if I ain't gonna join in on the bullshittery for one line. Here we go. The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 seconds. Line up at the start. The running speed starts slowly, but gets faster each minute after you hear this signal. [beep] A single lap should be completed each time you hear this sound. [ding] Remember to run in a straight line, and run as long as possible. The second time you fail to complete a lap before the sound, your test is over. The test will begin on the word start. On your mark, get ready, start." James said in a monotone voice. God fucking dammit is this really fucking happening?!

"Enough you two, this is no time for jokes… even if it is amusing" Maddy scolds while muttering that last bit.

"Jeez, enough of this nonsense already!" Noire shouts at everyone in an annoyed manner.

"It's only nonsense if you don't have the IQ to understand such high-quality copypasta," Alex says with a raised finger.

"Whatever. Now we see the true nature of the Seven Sages, attacking my nation so blatantly..." I wouldn't call them the brightest bunch.

"Bwahahaha! Coming up with devious schemes isn't my thing. I just like to go hog wild!" Copypaste admits which receives a strange look from the rat.

"What?! Hang on, that's definitely not what we were told to tell them!" Well, I do know what I'm giving as a response to a certain hacker… but that can wait.

"Huh? They told us to do something?" Copypaste asks his questionable rat comrade.

"Ugh, you stupid linebacker! Here, read this if you can." Warechu says as he hands Copypaste a piece of paper.

"You ain't the boss of me! Hmm. Let's see here… Ha, ha, ha. Because Lowee's CPU drew your attention away from here, I was able to easily… Hey, what's this word?" 10/10 Acting would hire.

"Demolish!" Warechu answers in an annoyed tone.

"Ah. I was able to easily demolish your precious factory." Give this man a medal.

"That was the cringiest acting I have ever heard… I ain't buying it" Alex answered with a shiver.

"Do I need to mention that one anime… Just thinking about brings my cringe meter to max." James says with a shiver as he is reminded of such an experience. Don't ask.

"Please don't remind me..." Alex says as he shivers in response.

"Huh? Oh, I get it now. That's what it was all about. That's why she came..." I 200% doubt that.

"Huh? What's this stuff saying? What does Lowee's CPU got to do with any of this?" 300 IQ Copypaste.

"Clamp it, you buffoon!" Warechu yells at him

"Huh? I don't really get it, but does that mean Blanny is your friend…?" Plutia says confused.

"I think that's what they mean. I don't really get it, either." I'm surrounded by idiots and this confirms it.

"I agree with you Author-man" Maddy says with a sigh.

"Ridiculous! I don't remember ever making nice with no CPU!" Copypaste shouts.

"Shut! Up!" Warechu that won't work, like ever.

"Sorry to interrupt your idiotic ramblings, but you've seriously pissed me off," Noire says as she expresses her annoyance at the stupidity of well… everyone.

"Huh? Really? So you wanna rumble with the strongest of the Seven Sages?! That's me, by the way." What are you a fucking ironman? Btw.

"Noire, what'll we doooo…? He keeps saying he's the strongest..." Bullshit he is.

"Ignore it. Those who keep bragging about themselves are usually overcompensating." Noire tells her with confidence.

"THIS LEVEL OF HYPOCRISY IS TOO MUCH FOR MY EYES!" Alex shouts as he shields his eyes.

"...Huh? Really?" Yes really.

"Yeah. For example… Hey, Neptune. Who's the strongest CPU?" Noire asks with a smirk.

"Not you of course!" Neptune says with a teasing smile.

"Guh!" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha… * _cough*_ Oh fuck my sides * _cough*_ can't fucking breathe.

Meanwhile… the two boys are arguing over which CPU manufacturer is better…

"Ohhhh… I think I get it now… hehehe." Plutia says with a smile.

Suddenly a chair is thrown in the direction of the girls who immediately dodge it and question what the fuck those two idiots are arguing about that would warrant a chair being tossed.

"Hello?! How long are you going to chat? Make it clear whether or not we're gonna FIGHT!" Copypaste shouts at the group of heroes.

"Don't remind me. I already said I was pissed!" Noire says as she transforms, "I'll do to you what you've done to my precious factory! Prepare yourself!"

"Plutia, you help, too!" Noire tells the sleepy girl.

"Are you suuuuure…?" Plutia questions her.

"Sweet memories of whiplash, Noire! Are you thinking straight?!" Neptune questions the white-haired tsun in a surprised manner.

"Of course I am. Unless I turn him into scrap metal, I won't be happy!" Noire tells the purple haired idiot.

"Hehehe. Well, since I have Noire's blessing… Whee…!" Plutia says as she transforms. Activate 'This is where the fun begins meme'.

"I'll stamp every nut and bolt under my heel until there's not even a spot of oil left!" Iris Heart states happily.

"Crap! She's here! I'm gonna scram! I don't care to see what happens next, chu!" Warechu says as he books it as far as he can.

"Bah! Mini-bosses can go home! Be sure to toss me up my favourite salad for my triumphant return!" Copypaste says in high spirits.

"Six against one? How boring. This will not be enough to satisfy me!" Hold up * _crash*_ fuck I think I broke it. Just gimme a second.

…?

There I did the thing.

Suddenly out of nowhere, a large light appears causing everyone to cover their eyes.

When the light fades a large beast is revealed flying in the air. It has red fur and scales, 2 large wings with some green spikes, a long tail, a purple collar and 4 bracers for each of its sharp-clawed legs.

It's mouth leaks fire and its four green eye light up as it eyes its challenge.

A fire tornado completely blocks the exit.

 _The air is getting warmer around you…_

"Holy fuck… OI! You girls handle the bot we'll take the dragon-thing!" Alex tells the girls as the trio of questionable words faces their challenge.

Neptune and Maddy transform this time and get into their own fighting stance or whatever.

"Understood, just try not to die," Neptune says with a smirk.

Everyone drew their weapons. The 2 groups split to fight their respective enemy.

Are you ready?

* * *

 _ **To leave it on a cliffhanger… how cruel of me. There's a cookie in wait for anyone who is up to the challenge of telling me just who this dragon is… I doubt anyone will get it though, good luck anyways!**_

 _ **On another note, the story hit 1k Views... neat.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	18. Chapter 17

_**Still one of the best experience's I've had playing video games…**_

 _ **Chapter 17: The Jungle Dragon**_

* * *

 _You are ready._

The dragon lets out a deafening roar as fire leaks from its mouth.

Flying towards our trio it releases balls of fire from its mouth at them and the ground creating small tornadoes of fire where they explode.

Dodging narrowly Alex is the first to speak up,"So what's the plan!" He yells out to the two.

"I don't fucking know. What I do know is that this dragon is way out of our fucking league. Dammit Author what is this bullshit?! You trying to kill us or something!?" I may have made a miscalculation and summoned the wrong boss… Just give me some time and I can fix this.

James manages to dodge the charging dragon but not without getting a little burnt. Retaliating at the dragon with a fast swing of his sword he leaves a very small gash in its scaly hide-fur-thing.

Maddy moves in from the back, slashing hard and fast at the wings of the beast of fire, this seems to leave some damage but not enough to chip its health down to at least 90 percent.

Alex fires of his revolver into the face of the dragon, this angers it causing it to turn towards him and flap its wings creating a massive tornado of flame where he was. Managing to barely escape not without damage though he strikes the dragon with his daggers.

The dragon starts dashing around the temporary arena faster than before almost like a blur as illusionary dragons show up and copy his movements as he charges at our main OC who manages to follow the movements has the four dragons charge in on him from four different angles changing positions with each charge.

"Arghh! FUCK!" He shouts as he gets hit by the dragon and is sent flying back into a wall. The dragon charges up a fiery attack to launch at his foe but it never came as he was hit by a sword to the face from a certain CPU.

"Thanks..." James says to his companion who nods while flying to the right to avoid a fireball.

Suddenly a mass of pixels appears in-front of Alex and when they burst into nothing it reveals a large cannon-rifle-gun that has some shark-like appearance. Engraved onto the side of it is _'Megafleet'._

"Um, guys?" Alex calls out as he looks over the weapon briefly before moving out of the way to dodge the charging dragon instinctively pressing the trigger on the weapon which launches 20 blue laser-like projectiles fast at the dragon with each one exploding into blue fireworks.

The dragon lets off an angry roar as it turns to face the attacker.

"Whatever you just did! Do it again!" Maddy calls out from where she is to which Alex just nods and fires the gun-thing-cannon.

James takes a quick glance to where the other CPU's are to see how they are faring in their fight against the robot… and he just blew up.

"Not so tough now are you, hahaha" Black Heart boasts.

"Now is not the time Noire, we should go and help the others," Purple Heart tells her as she flies off to aid the trio with the dragon with Iris Heart following behind her.

"Alright, you damn dragon eat… uhh… laser fireworks?" Alex says as he barrages the dragon with more laser explosions of death.

Suddenly in the corners of the fighter's eyes, they see a bar that's three-quarters full and green with numbers that read 3,000,000/4,000,000.

"Thank you, author, for installing the damn health bar in you prick!" Listen… it took a while to find it.

The health bar is slowly draining with the attacks from our resident idiot.

And with two more pixel masses bursting revealing more weapons for the rest of the trio.

A large sword with a cosmic looking blade for James, and a single-edge broadsword with a black blade and red edge for Maddy.

Upon swinging the cosmic blade it fires off a sword-like beam projectile which upon hitting the dragon star-like projectiles home in on it.

"A sword that can be used from range… Neat." He mutters to himself as charges at the dragon swinging furiously.

Maddy flies in striking the dragon with the broadsword which leaves a large gash in its side. Giving off a loud roar it flaps its wings firing fiery tornadoes at the group.

As the group dodges the attack the dragon's health is halfway down enraging it.

With a mighty roar, the dragon flaps its wings raining fireballs from the sky(?) and charging faster than before.

Dodging and weaving through the fire the CPU's strike the dragon for it to be unfazed and knock them into a wall with its tail.

As the dragon's health drops into the red it coats itself in fire making it immune to all attacks.

"What is this bullshit! You can't just go invincible and fuck with us like this!" Alex shouts as he dodges the raining fire.

After a minute of constant dodging the fire leaves the dragon and it returns to the vulnerable state… with its health back up to 3.5 million.

"Fuck. You." Alex shouts at the dragon firing off the cannon-laser-gun.

Strike after strike, blow after blow, explosion after explosion, constant battling, dodging, hurting, and more. Depleting the health bar faster than before taking risky moves and getting hit by the bullshit that is this dragon, they finally get it down to a mere 10 thousand health left.

With one final strike by Maddy the dragon's health depletes fully. With one final deafening roar the dragon bursts into flame leaving nothing behind.

' _I have failed you, master…'_

The weapons the trio wielded disappeared into a mass of pixels as they drop to the ground breathing heavily.

The fiery tornado blocking their exit has disappeared.

After an exhausting fight, the CPUs returned to their lands and the trio followed suit following the Planeptune CPUs back.

"That fight was complete bullshit… what was the author thinking sending in a damn dragon that could probably kill us really easily." Alex complains as he drags himself along the road to Planeptune.

Listen I meant to summon something else but I fucked up and summoned the Jungle Dragon. Be glad it wasn't the DoG or worse SA.

"Where the hell did he even find such a dragon?" Maddy asked. In another world…

"Can we just drop it for now? We won, didn't we… little annoyed we didn't get a reward though." James tells the two who sigh in response.

Upon reaching Planeptune the trio depart from Neptune and Plutia to head back to the place they were staying at.

"We got a lot of catching up to do," Alex says with a dry laugh.

"Yes, yes we do..." James says with a chuckle.

* * *

 _ **~ In another world… ~**_

"You say he disappeared suddenly while you were in the area?" A man clad in armour says from his throne.

"Yes, M'lord. It was strange… a bright light covered him and when it dissipated he was gone." A female voice says from the shadows.

The armoured man suddenly jolts from his throne as if reacting to something… he feels like he has lost something dear to him, " _Yharon..._ " the man mutters before turning towards the direction of the female voice.

"Tell the Devourer to search for the one who killed my loyal dragon." The man tells the female voice before walking off to who knows where.

"As you wish M'lord..." the female voice replies.

* * *

 _ **~ With the Jungle Dragon gone… a new threat will worm its way towards our trio eventually… ~**_

" _ **Alright… you're up Neptune."**_

" _Yay! Okay, it's my turn. Listen up, my listening minions!" **Let's hope she doesn't go off the rails.**_

" _Some time has passed since the last event, and I've been doing my best to get back home." **It has literally been an entire year… 'some time' my ass.**_

" _When the moxie-having Neptune and Plutie team up, we're unstoppable! We've gotten everyone's shares!" **Right, I nearly forgot to explain what happened if people are confused… you see when they returned to the Basilicom they got a call from the other Histoire who gave them info on how to return Neptune home. They just need to gather shares and everything will be fine and dandy.**_

" _Huuuh? Nuh-uh… Planeptune's pretty much the same..." **Plutia bringing us back to reality… that's a first.**_

" _Oh, true. Reality is a buzzkill." **I agree. Fuck reality.** "But things have improved a little! We've got a long ways to go, though." **Pfft! You aren't even close!**_

" _Lastation is doing well and is still the top dog for now."_

" _Hey, Neptune! Where do you keep the flamethrower?" **They have a flamethrower!? Wait… why is Alex asking where they keep it…**_

" _In the closet, Alex!" **I have a bad feeling…**_

" _Anyways, on the other hand, Lowee's losing people so fast that I bet Blanc's flipping tables in a blind rage." **Can confirm. Had to dodge a few flying tables when I visited.**_

" _Um, Noire said that Lowee and the Seven Sages are both bullies and it makes her upset..." **If you're wondering… no, they didn't take her lunch money. That was me.**_

" _Hey, Neptune! Where's the duct tape and the Gatling gun?" **Why the fuck do you people have a Gatling gun?!**_

" _In the other closet, Alex!" **What the fuck is happening…**_

" _Anyways, thanks for that follow-up! Let's get this next arc up and running!" **I should stop Alex before he does something stupid.**_

* * *

 _ **~ And we continue the adventure! ~**_

"Ugh! I'm so pissed off!" Noire complains in a pissed off tone.

"Hey, hey. Chill out, girl. We just started the next arc, so don't be pissed off already." Neptune says in a worried tone.

"What're you babbling about? Plutia, aren't you upset, too?" Noire asks still very peeved.

"I dunno..." Plutia says with a worried face.

"Okay, then what about you three?" Noire says as she looks to the trio who are playing blackjack.

"I'm not upset at all, in fact, I find it mildly amusing that you are so upset," Alex answers with a smirk.

"I agree with the idiot. The amount of peeved you are right now is just far too funny." Maddy says as she picks up some cards.

"Don't look at me. I am but a simple man with simple ways." James says which gets a glare from his friends who both mutter "Bullshit" at his comment.

"You're supposed to say 'Yes I am upset and completely agree with you, Noire'" she says in an angry tone.

"Awww, but that's not faaaair..." Plutia complains. No, it isn't fair and I will be having a 'talk' with Iris heart about this… later.

"Was the sabotage of your factory by the Seven Sages and perhaps Lowee that awful? (¯□¯ ; )" Mini-Histy asks the angered tsun… I need to learn how to use emoticons… I could do some really stupid shit then.

"It's not worth calling sabotage! It's harassment, plain and simple!" Noire answers her.

"I'll show you harassment if you keep complaining..." Alex mutters as he picks up a card.

"What was that?" Noire turns towards him with a smile, "Nothing, nothing at all." He answers with a straight face.

"All they're doing is painting regular CDs black and selling them like they're MY software! Jamming toothpicks in controller ports…! Urgh! It's frustrating!" I could do better.

"Aside from the author's rude statement. That truly is harassment." So now you're breaking the fourth wall and reading my input on the current situation… can a guy get a break?

"Annoying junk like that has been happening throughout my nation at a constant pace… Ugh, I hate being screwed with! **(That's what she said… oh)** I mean, a CPU siding with the Seven Sages? Am I right or what?!" Noire complains.

"That's not your decision to make..." Maddy mutters as she places her cards down.

"You're riiiight..." No, she's not Plutia, no she is not.

"I get that you're huffin' and puffin' over it, but we dunno if Lowee's really involved..." Did she just?

"Neptune, did you just say something not entirely stupid?" James asked with concern in his tone.

"How rude! Just because I act all dumb and stuff doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention to what that annoying robot said." She actually remembers that!? The fuck?! I think I need a drink…

"What are you saying?! Are you stupid or something?! That loud robot said with his own mouth they were working with Lowee!" Correction, Nowa. You are the dumb one here.

"Yeah, but the way he said it didn't sound natural at all… So I don't believe it one bit." Neptune states.

"S-So, Noire… Did you travel all the way to Planeptune today to voice your complaints? (;°д°)" Mini-Histy asks the angered tsun.

"Are you saying I'm not welcome?" She retorts in a deadly tone.

"I am!" Alex says while raising his hand to which he receives a deadly glare from Noire.

"N-No, that is not it at all! (ↄ°д ° ;)" Mini-Histy answers her.

"I like it when you come to plaaaay, but I don't like it when you're mad or suuuuper whiny..." Plutia complains.

"I can't help it! Who else am I going to complain to!? It's not like I have any other...uh..." Friends? Yeah, that's completely accurate.

"Aww..." Ha!

"Awwwww..." Haha!

"Aww. (¯□¯ ; )" Hahaha!

"Hahahahaha! Noire has no friends~" Alex teases from his spot.

"Wh-What!? Stop looking at me with those pitying eyes! And I do too have f-f-friends!" It will never get old… Teasing Noire is like an infinite gold mine.

"That's our Noire, yes indeed! Here you go. I'll listen to all of your complaints today." Neptune says with a smile on her face.

"Grr! A-Are you serious? If you mean that, I'm going to unload everything I got..." Oh god no please don't

"Huh? If I usually get all jokey with Noire like that, she gets even more upset..." Neptune says in a worried tone.

"That is how much baggage she has at this moment, it seems," Mini-Histy says.

"Booooo, I don't wanna hear it..." Plutia complains. Hey did anyone else feel that strange chill down their spine?

"I mean, come ON! I don't like that they feel the need to sabotage me in the first place. If their nation is SO much better, shouldn't a real CPU just do her best to support her OWN nation?!" Oh god, she's actually complaining more… someone shoot me now.

"Indeed… (;°д°)" Mini-Histy agrees.

"If it's a matter of pride and she doesn't want to lose, why stoop to such a pathetic low, y'know?" Because it works. For anyone who has played BL2, there is that one mission called 'Statuesque' it doesn't really do anything serious other than pissing off the villain.

"I mean, how can a nation led by a CPU for so long be run this way?! It boggles my mind!" At this point, I think everything would 'boggle' your mind, Noire.

"If it boggles your mind, then you must not have a good understanding of what really pisses people off. It ain't the big things, but the really small insignificant things. Why? Because it does exactly what it's doing right now. Boggling your mind." Maddy answers the confused tsun.

Sighing, Neptune agrees with Maddy, "She's right y'know..."

"Gee whiz, how nice for Planeptune! Nothing bad ever happens to you! If you ever managed to get your acts together, maybe you'd take some of the harassment away from me!" Have you actually tried to stop it though?

"Ummm, hey, Noire…?" Hey does anyone else feel like the temperature in the room just dropped a few degrees?

"Don't butt in. I'm still going." Bad move, bad move! Abort mission!

"Buuuut…! I thought you came over to play, but all you do is whine, whine, whiiiine..." Plutia says in an angered tone. Pack your bags, everyone, we are taking the one way trip to 'Nopeville'.

"Hey, I suddenly feel like leaving the Basilicom. You two up for a stroll?" Alex asks nervously to which they nod and silently exit the room before the fallout… in actuality, they are listening through the door to find out what happens next.

Noire speaks up on the other side, "So you'll be a friend and listen, right?! Nobody else will!"

"Huh? Plutie, your eyes seem kinda…locked into position..." Neptune says with a concerned tone.

"Oh dear. This does not bode well. (;─д─)" Mini-Histy says in response to the sudden change in the atmosphere.

"If you just whine and whine… It's not fun for me at aaaaall..." No, it isn't fun, it's very boring.

"You just have to deal with it, okay?! I mean, these things are actually happening to me!" Noire complains.

"Uh, Noire, maybe you should just drop it for now..." Neptune says nervously.

"Don't you start on me, too!" Noire shoots back.

"That is not the case. Please take a look at Plutia. (;─д─)" Mini-Histy says as she motions a hand in Plutia's direction.

"I understand all that, but, ummm… Listening to you go on and on and on kinda makes me maaaad..." PACK FASTER SHE'S COMING!

Noire looks over at the angry Pltuia and voices her thoughts, "H-Huh…? Oh...crap…"

Panicking that the deadly side will come out Noire tries asking for forgiveness, "Y-You're completely right! I'm sorry, I went too far. Please forgive me, okay?"

"Noire, if you're THAT mad, then..." You find a note on the ground. 'This is the Author, please find me in my safe place when Iris Heart is gone'.

"S-Stop! Wait, wait, wait!" …

"The author ditched us!" …

"A-Allow me to exit and prepare a fresh pot of soothing tea!" …

"That's cheating! She fled the scene! I am so gonna kick the author's butt when he gets back!" …?

"Instead of complaining forever..." Hello, I'm the spare Narrator for when the author ditches everyone… oh, it's this part… fuck.

In a bright flash of transforming light, the lady herself makes an appearance.

"Why not move your ass and voice your complaints to the culprit?!" Iris Heart says in a pissed off tone.

"Yikes! She's here!" Noire says in a slightly scared tone.

"It was nice knowing you Noire, I'm out!" Neptune says as she dashes out the room.

"D-Don't leave me here alone with her!" Noire says in a scared tone.

"It seems that we're all alone now, my dear Noire. I think it's time we had a 'heart to heart' talk, don't you think?" Iris Heart says in a deadly tone.

"N...N...Nooooooo!" And her screams were heard for miles… even across the dimensions.

* * *

 _Sometime later._

"...It's been over two hours." Neptune says nervously in front of the door.

"The shrieking has subsided… Perhaps it is over?" Mini-Histy questions.

"I wonder… Do some recon, Mini-Histy."

"A-Absolutely not! You should scout it out yourself, Neptune."

"I don't wanna! You're tiny, so you can sneak in there all tactical espionage-like." Neptune argues back.

"Oh for the love of… I GOT IT!" Alex says as he literally kicks the door off its hinges.

Inside the room is a happy Ploot and a… I don't think you need to know what happened in here…

"Yipes! P-Plutie, you're back to normal? Oh, thank cod..." Neptune says the to the sleepy airhead.

"So where is… oh..." Neptune was about to ask where Noire is but the moment she stepped in there she was. Curled up in a ball on the floor with blank eyes.

She seems to be muttering something about going to Lowee… I don't wanna know.

"I am going to Lowee. They will hear my complaints. Directly. In Lowee. Lowee." The poor girl…

"Whooooa, she's like a broken record. What does it take to get a person into this state…?" Neptune asks in a worried tone.

"I don't think we want to know what kind of methods it would take to do this, Neptune," James says in a nervous tone.

"H-Her vitals are normal, at least. Noire, please come to your senses!" Mini-Histy tells the poor girl.

"Noire says she wants to go to Lowee, so we should go with her… Riiiight, Neppy?" Plutia says with a disturbing look on her face.

"Plutia… I don't think she's in any state to be going… anywhere. Let's just wait until she is feeling better then we can all go. Alright?" Maddy says in a concerned tone.

"Really…? Yayyyyyy…!" Plutia says in a joyful tone.

And we will continue this lovely thing next time… and we do not speak of what happened. Don't look at the stains either!

 _ **I wonder if anyone actually figured out what the dragon was from the previous chapter… if not then you definitely know now. Hope you all enjoyed this lovely chapter. See you all soon!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	19. Chapter 18

_**Sorry for the delay. Instead of two chapters, it will be only 1 but super long… the delay was because I've been playing modded terraria the past like week… (Calamity Mod) and after speeding through fucking everything I finally reached the start of the endgame after beating a certain jungle dragon. Fuck me was it tough. Anyway, thanks for dealing with my absolute fucking shit and waiting for this glorious chapter to release…**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 18: To Lowee we go**_

After about 2 hours of being 'out of it,' Noire finally had snapped back to reality… I should retrieve the camera I hid so I can use the footage as blackmail.

"Welcome back to reality. It's still shit" Alex joked to the poor girl with a smile on his face.

"Wh-What was I…?" Noire said in a highly confused manner, "Noire! Are you back to normal?" Neptune asked the poor girl. Hahahaha… oh sorry, I'm just fucking dying irl.

"Why'm I standing here? Where is this? My memories are… If I try to remember, my head, it..." Don't worry once I get my camera I can remind you if you want.

"Uh, don't worry about remembering! Take it from a former amnesiac. Don't force it!" Neptune tells the girl.

"Yay, now we can go to Lowee…!" Plutia says in a cheerful tone.

"Lowee? That's right, I have to go to Lowee. I feel like nothing in the world is more important than that." … Torture… and Sadie… is an effective… tool…? Sorry just taking notes for the future.

"I think this Nowa is defective. Can we get a new one?" Alex asks in a joking manner.

"I am not defective! And no you cannot!" Noire shouts at him. I beg to differ.

"We're wasting precious time here people! C'mon let's get a move on! Heeeere weeeee..." Neptune said in a cheerful manner before she was interrupted rudely by the loud opening of the fucking door. Are you trying to fucking break it?! Because if you are do it right… with explosives… lots of explosives.

"Ga-thunk!" Abnes shouts as she opens the door in a loud and angry manner. Why the fuck do you even shout that every time you open a door…

"I've found you!" She shouts pointing at the group of people in the room.

"Good for you. You want a fucking cookie? Or perhaps a million bucks?" James says in a slightly peeved tone at her appearance.

"Aww, man! I was all fired up, too! Who else but this bratty little girl would interrupt me? … Wait did you say cookie?!" Neptune said in a mix of emotions.

"I wasn't serious. Why would I even keep cookies on me? I can understand keeping lollies and shit on me… Hey, author dude you should go get some Icebreakers again some day. Or warheads." Oh shit, I nearly forgot they existed and nearly forgot their name… how long has it been since I've had a proper field day with lollies.

"I'm not a little girl, you stupid childish baby!" Abnes retorts.

"What are you then? A fucking mop?" Alex asks with anger in his tone.

" _ **She can't be a mop because that spot is already taken by someone else,"**_ I interject.

"Who do you think you are calling me a mop!?" Abnes shouts at the boy insulting her.

"I get this strange feeling that isn't even the beginning of the insults the author could probably write." Damn fucking straight… but they aren't appropriate for the story… well most of them aren't.

"Can we please move back on topic? Why are you here, Abnes?" Noire asks the group then directs a question towards the gothic looking pink-whatever clothed blonde weirdo.

"I agree with Noire. What business do you have here today?" Mini-Histy asks the girl.

"Oh, Lastation's CPU and the tiny kid are here, too. How nice. All the perpetrators are in one spot!" She says with a smirk.

"Perpetrators… Wait. How the hell do yo- _*mmph*_ " Alex was about to say something till he was promptly shut up by the only other male in the room.

James whispers in his ears, "You fucking nuts?! Don't reveal information like that without knowing whether the person actually knows or not." What the fuck did you two do? Wait… was it that one time with the thing, and the confetti cannon. That shit was fucking golden.

"I do not appreciate so many comments about my diminutive stature! (≥~≤ )" But… you're so tiny and cute.

"Who's a dim Inuit statue?" Neptune says with a confused face at the complex words the tiny fairy is saying.

"TL;DR She's saying she's small and doesn't like people making comments on how tiny she is," Alex says to the confused girl.

"Oh… I get it now!" Neptune says in an understanding tone. Do you really.

"Heeeey, why are we perpetrators…?" Plutia asks with a confused tone, "Question? Are we perpetrators too?" Alex asks with a raised hand.

"Don't play dumb with me! You know what I mean! And yes you three as well." Abnes tells them all. I 400 percent doubt that they know what you're talking about.

"The cases of little girls going missing in every single nation… You're the criminals behind them!" Abnes says to the group. Oh good, so she doesn't care about the boys going missing… Completely fucking joking don't take it seriously… actually, take everything I say with a grain of salt… or a bag of salt. A lot of salt.

"Uh-oh! We aaaare…?" Can you hear that? It's the sound of my face colliding with my hand which is colliding with my desk.

"Oh, that was an easy confession. Can someone print out that line of dialogue for me, please?" Abnes says in a victorious tone. Currently printing out 'List of insults to call people when the situation is right'. Try again next millennium.

"I don't think so. Why do you think we would be kidnapping little girls?" Noire asks the potentially crazy girl.

"Now here's the real question. If we kidnap you would that count as 'Doing the world a service' or 'Kidnapping children'?" Alex asks in a joking manner. Leaning towards the first one right now.

Noire and Abnes just glare at him, while James lets out a small laugh and Maddy just sighs and continues to stay silent not wanting to join in on this madness.

"Because… Y-You know, you're doing suspicious and awful things to them!" The most awful thing they could do to children is give them a hug. No, we can't use Iris Heart to change that statement. Yes, it would be funny.

"Only the CPUs could dream up such heinous acts!" I want to prove you wrong but it's far too easy to do.

"Your logic is seriously broken, and not to mention incorrect. Anyway, we don't know anything." Noire denies the accusations rather quickly.

"I know nooooothing..." Plutia says to the girl.

"You know nothing like 92 percent of the time, Plutia," Alex says with a serious face. 92? So half of the time… because 92 is half of 99… I'll stop now.

"You are free to inspect the inside of the Basilicom should you harbour any suspicions. (=A=*)" Mini-Histy tells the childish girl.

"Huh? So you didn't do it…?" No, you fucking… you're not even worth the insult at this point.

"What a not unfalse accusation! Libel, slander…slanbel! Only villains do that kind of stuff!" Villains and some really fucked up people.

"Maybe the Seven Sages are guilty! And they wanna blame us instead! I bet my detectiving is right!" Neptune says in an annoyed manner.

"Impossible! If any of them tried to lay a single fingernail on a little child, I wouldn't let them!" What are you gonna do? Talk 'em to death? … Actuall,y don't pay attention to what I said you could get ideas.

"But if it really wasn't you all, then I need to start looking for the criminal all over again..." She says in a dejected tone.

"Give us a break, kiddo. We were all pumped to go to Lowee, and then you got here and paraded on our rain." That's not how the saying goes. And you are not the one who should be calling others 'Kiddo'.

"Huh? You're going to Lowee? Why?" Abnes asks the purple haired girl.

"So we can see Blanc and say─" Neptune began but was quickly interrupted by Noire, "Hey! Don't tell her so readily! She's our enemy, got it?" Noire tells the purple idiot.

"Hmm. I see… Lowee, huh…?" Abnes said in a quiet voice.

"Um, I just remembered something I gotta take care of. You're off the hook for today. Bye." Abnes said before leaving the room, closing the door on the way out, leaving the group slightly confused.

"Oh, she closed the door this time. I'm amazed she gets a sliding door to make so much noise in the first place." Have you ever used a sliding door before? They are always fucking noisy. Especially fly-wires.

"She said whatever she wanted to say and then left. What a nuisance." Noire said with a sigh.

"Children are still disappearing? ( • _ • ?) I was concerned about this a while back, actually..." Mini-Histy says to the girls.

"For now, let's leave the criminal hunt to her. We have other plans." Noire says. That is a terrible idea.

"Hey, C'mon, let's go plaaay..." In a tone that sort of reminds me of an excited child at some kind of fun place.

"Okay, okay. Shall we? I simply must go and complain directly to Lowee's CPU!" Noire says as she walks out the door motioning for the others to follow them. You need help… lots of help.

The group followed her out the door and made their way to the dungeon bordering Lastation and Lowee.

* * *

"Excuse me. Noire?" Neptune spoke up in a serious tone, "What? You sound too serious." What's wrong with that?

"We're flying by the seats of our knee-highs and all, but I doubt Blanc would do something this bad," Neptune said.

"Your beliefs are irrelevant. My nation was attacked." Noire told the girl.

"This girl must have malfunctioning ears if she didn't hear what that robot said," James whispered to himself.

"Well yeah, but my tummy is doing gymnastics and it's giving me all these hungry feelings of doubt," Neptune said.

"I can kind of vouch for Neptune here. I met the girl… albeit she was rude." James said to the tsun.

"You really care about your friends, huh, Neppy…?" Plutia says with a smile.

"Umm… It's a little different. It's more like, when you've been good pals with someone for a while. You gotta think more open-mindedly." Neptune says to her.

"Well when I have been friends with someone for a while, we start insulting each other and so on." Alex says in a serious tone before looking towards the other male, "Like this piece of shit next to me." He says in a joking manner.

"Hey! If you're gonna insult me at least use my proper name, ya shit eating fuckface." James replies in a joking manner.

"Neptune, I already told you before, that feeling is based on the CPU of Lowee from your dimension," Noire tells her denying anything she says.

"If you keep up that friendly talk here, you're in for a world of hurt." What is this 'friendly talk' you speak of? As far as I know, being 'friendly' is calling others 'cunts'.

"Well, if you're only gonna say mean junk like that, then you'll never make any friends at all, ever!" Neptune says with a teasing smirk.

"You're implying that Nowa here could make friends in the first place," Alex says as he joins in on the teasing.

"Uh-huh, uh-huuuuh..." Plutia says with a nod as she joins in herself.

"I'm only saying that for your own good!" Noire responds harshly before sighing, "Whatever. We know there's a link between Lowee and the Seven Sages. Just keep your guard up, okay?" She tells the group.

"Yeah, yeah..." Neptune says in response.

After the sorta argument the group continued their way through the cave to Lowee occasionally encountering monsters that were quickly dealt with.

* * *

"Man… We've been plodding along for a while now… Are we there yet?" Neptune says impatiently.

"I'm sooooo sleepy..." Plutia complains.

"We crossed the border way back there. We should hit a city soon, so… Crap, stop!" Noire says as she pulls Neptune and Plutia back..

"Yikes! Don't grab me by the back of my tiny jacket thing!" Neptune shouts at the girl.

"Urk… I can't breathe..." Neither can I right now… no, seriously my fucking nose is completely blocked.

"What's wrong?" Maddy says as she joins Noire behind cover with the boys following close behind.

"You two stop being overly dramatic and be quiet! See that person up ahead? That's a patrol unit." Noire says as she points to the guard.

"Oh, I see. Lowee's got a border patrol too, huh?" Neptune says as she looks at the guard.

"Um, so how has that funny guard of yours we met been doing…?" Plutia asks with a smile.

"I dunno. I haven't heard from him since I fired him. Let's just concentrate on the guard in front of us for now." Noire answers the sleepy girl.

Meanwhile, Alex seems to be thinking of a plan to get past the guard.

"We can pummel him, no sweat. It'd be a cinch. I mean, c'mon." Neptune says confidently.

"What? No. I'd rather avoid making a scene. There's just one guy, so we can probably slip by… Hey, where's Alex?" Noire said in a whisper as she noticed someone was missing from the group.

Alex walked out towards the guard with a bottle of alcohol in his hand and moved in a drunken manner towards the guard.

"Hey, man. Can you tell me where I am…? Whoa… haha, nearly tripped there!" He said as he acted out being drunk.

"Huh? What are doing around here?" The guard asks the boy in a harsh manner.

"I dunno. I think I'm lost" Alex answers and proceeding to take a sip of his drink, "I was out with the boys and things were getting good until they dared me to explore this cave."

Alex now distracting the guard so the others can get through gave a simple movement with the bottle that said that the coast was clear and that they should head in. Knowing this the group moved quietly past the distracted guard.

He put his hand on the guard's shoulder "Say you want a sip?" He said as he waved the bottle around.

"No. Now please leave the area before I make you leave myself!" The guard tells him motioning in the direction away from Lowee.

"No need to be so harsh… Fine. I'll go." Alex said as he took a sip and walked in the opposite direction that the guard pointed to.

"Hey! Were you paying attention?! That's the wrong way to go!" The guard shouts at him running over to him to stop him from going any further.

He turns around to face the guard but with a smirk on his face, "Really now? Thanks for telling me that." Alex said as he punched the guard in the guard in the stomach hard enough to knock him out.

After the guard fell to the ground he put him somewhere safe from the monsters and made his way into Lowee.

* * *

The group finally arrived in Lowee and decided to wait it out for the last member so they would all be together.

"We finally made it to Lowee. Well, most of us. We should probably wait until Alex arrives before we continue." Noire tells the rest of the party who nod in response. And so they waited… A few minutes passed… then 15 minutes went by… and now it was half an hour.

"He still hasn't shown up? Do you think something happened to him? It's been half an hour now?" Noire said in a worried tone.

"Aww, the tsun is worried for him~" James teased the girl who immediately went red in the face.

"D-Don't get the wrong idea! I am not worried at all! I-I Just want to make sure we have all the power we can get in case a fight breaks out! And stop calling me a 'tsun'!" She says in a flustered manner.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, princess. Let's just head back a bit to search for him." James waved her off and walked in the direction of the cave.

Alex just arrived in the city after taking a leisurely walk towards Lowee after knocking out the guard.

"Other's must've ran ahead… I should find them eventually. I bet the tsun is worried that I took so long… but what can I say? That cave was pretty nice looking." He mused to himself as he strolled onward.

Up ahead was a familiar blonde haired girl that he met when he first arrived in Gamindustri.

"Isn't that Vert? What's she doing here I wonder..." He says as he walks up towards her. She seems to be talking to herself but he didn't care. Tapping a hand on her shoulder and startling her a bit he asks, "Sup, Vert. How're ya? Haven't seen you in a few years now."

"W-Wh-What?! Who's there!? How do you know my name!?" She said startled at the sudden gesture as she turned towards the boy.

"Right… different dimension, different experiences..." Alex mumbled to himself as a few people he also recognised showed up in his vision.

"There he is! OI CUNT! THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG!?" James shouted at his friend as he made his way over.

"Oh, you know just taking a leisurely stroll through a cave… drinking alcohol… knocking out guards." He says to the approaching friend.

"Huh? Hey, who's she?" Noire asks pointing to Vert. Neptune looked at the girl and immediately recognised her.

"HEYYYYYYYYYYY! It's Vert! Vert, Vert, Vert!" Neptune shouted as she jumped up and down in excitement upon recognising an old friend.

"Heavens! Wh-Wh-Wh-Why do you also know my name!?" Vert said in surprise at the sudden energeticness of the purple haired idiot.

"Is she your friend, Neppy?" Plutia asked with a confused look on her face.

"Heck yeah! Of course, there'd be a Vert over, too! Wow, it's been a while since I've seen her!" Neptune said excitedly.

"So basically, she's a friend of yours in the other dimension," Noire said to the hyperactive girl.

"U-Um, what's going on? Over here? Dimesnsions? Just how much do you know about me…?" Vert asked confused about what the girls were talking about.

"I'll do all the greeting stuff! This is Vert. She's just like us. She's Leanbox's CP─" Neptune was about to reveal the identity of said girl until said girl abruptly covered her mouth before any more information could be leaked.

" _*Mmph!* *Mmmmphhh!*"_ Neptune tried speaking but her mouth was covered by a certain blonde haired girl who seemed like she was in a panic. Pulling Neptune away to a more quiet area so she can talk in private with the girl she finally let go of her mouth.

They seemed to be talking in private as the rest of the group mainly the trio conversed among themselves.

"What do you think they're talking about?" James said to Maddy who shrugged in response before pointing to Vert, "We met her back when we first arrived."

Plutia getting curious to what they were talking about walked over to them with Noire following behind.

"What are you two whispering…?" Plutia asks the girls.

"We can't waste time right now," Noire tells Neptune.

Neptune realising what Noire meant immediately ran over to join the rest of the group, "Oops, they're right, actually. We gotta hurry and see Blanc. Sorry Vert, I'm in a rush today!" She says as she waves to her.

Vert seemed to be in deep thought over who knows what.

"All right, let's get moving. We're going to bust right through the Basilicom's front gates!" Noire said the others.

"Fuck we are?! That's fucking sick! Count me fucking in!" Alex said in excitement. Probably wants to kick the doors off their hinges.

"Yay!" Neptune said in excitement, "Yaaaay!" Plutia followed in the excitement, "Yay, indeed!" That acting was awful please fucking try again.

"I heard one voice too many," Noire said with a hint of anger. Neptune looked at Vert with a questioning gaze, "Huh? Are you gonna join us, Vert?" She asked the lady.

"What a terrible response. You were going to kick me out of your party?" Vert said in a fake saddened tone.

"You were never in it. I can't let some random person join us." Noire stated in an annoyed tone.

"And this is why you can never make friends, Noire. You deny every opportunity the world presents you and sink further into loneliness." Neptune said with a sigh.

"I am not lonely! I have plenty of friends!" Noire says pissed off.

"Oh, really~? Name one~" Neptune said with a grin on her face.

"U-U-Um, … Alex is my friend… I think..." Noire stutters muttering that last part to herself to which Alex immediately responded, "You got 'Slave' confused with 'Friend'."

"Told you~" Neptune says in victory with a grin.

"Even so it wouldn't be very ladylike of me to not introduce myself." Vert began. And it wouldn't be very ladylike of me to not mention the most noteworthy friend on board! Wait… wrong game again.

"My name is Vert. I have travelled to Lowee from afar for my own reasons." Vert introduced herself to the 2 people who don't know her.

"And those reasons are?" Noire questioned Vert who responded with a smile, "I believe them to be similar to yours."

"You're making it hard for me to trust you." You have trust issues.

"It'' be just fine, Noire. Vert is Vert, so there's no need to worry." Neptune said with confidence, "You think that ridiculous logic will reassure me?" Noire questioned the girl.

"I'm Plutia. It's nice to meet you, Vert..." She said cheerfully as she introduced herself to the blonde bi- whoops ignore that.

"Sup. I'm James, that's Maddy, and I believe you have already met the resident idiot." James said as he introduced himself and his friends.

"Pleasure to make your acquaintance," Vert said with a smile.

"And the conversation continues… Dammit, fine. Just know that if you try anything funny, I'll show no mercy!" Noire sighed in defeat leaving a warning for the girl.

"Of course. I'll bear that in mind." Vert said to the girl before speaking in a whisper, "As the saying goes, if you plan to eat the poison, finish the plate. In other words, I am all-in. I must witness the true power of the other nations' CPUs." She said with a devious smirk. If you plan to eat poison in the first place I'd think you are either crazy or Rasputin.

* * *

Reaching the Basilicom, Noire is the first to speak up, "I think this is the place. It's a gorgeous building." She says complimenting the craftsmanship of the building.

The building itself was absolutely massive and as Noire had said, gorgeous. Something, something, Japanese, something.

"It's sooooooooooooo big! Like a princess's castle…!" Plutia remarked at the size of the building.

"Dude, unfairsies! Only Blanc gets to live in such a cool place?! Plutie, let's make ours bigger, too!" Neptune said in a tone of slight jealousy.

"Awww, I like small, cozy homes… It gets all echoey and lonely if it's too big..." Plutia complains. In reality, you just don't want the screams of your victims reverberating throughout the entire place… please don't hurt me.

"Can we not talk about this right now? Let's just get inside already." Noire told the two sternly as she made her way towards the building.

Vert mumbled to herself about something relating to security and the Basilicom… I wasn't paying attention okay!

* * *

For some stupid reason, Blanc built her Basilicom near a fucking dungeon. I think I need to post this shit to r/crappydesign with how bad it is.

Finding their way through was not fun but they eventually reached a large room that was fancier than the others. "Oh hey, a big open room!" Neptune remarked, "It sure is… Um, this could be…?" Plutia continued, "Our destination, I assume. And, look. The CPU is sitting here, waiting for us to arrive." Noire said with a smirk as the party had finally arrived at their destination.

White Heart was there waiting for them to arrive, "You're so frickin' slow. I thought you might've bit the dust on your way here or something." She said to the group.

"Sounds like you really have been sitting here and waiting for us." Noire said with a smirk, "Blanc's all HDD'ed up, too. Hey, go back to normal. It's easier to talk to you that way." Neptune complained.

"What? Like you know anything about my forms. Don't spout crap you know nothing about." Blanc said as her anger was rising.

"Ohhh, that's right. We haven't met her normal form yet. Ugh, this is too complicated for me..." Neptune said in realisation.

"I believe you said something to that effect when we met, as well." Vert spoke up, "Did I? Well, they do say that repetition is one of the basics of comedy. Ain't that so, Plutie-pie?" In my opinion, good comedy is just having a normal conversation with the lads. Shit gets funny real quick.

"It is so, Neppy-poo… I like jokes I can understand..." Then I can never tell you any jokes… 1 because someone would probably get offended and start being a child, and 2 they get complicated as fuck… and technically aren't even jokes.

"Hey, could you please stop ruining the serious atmosphere?" Noire asked the two.

Blanc looked like she was getting impatient with the way the conversation was going, "Did you all come here to present your piss-poor comedy routine to me?" She asked with an annoyed look.

"No way. I have a mountain of complaints to direct into that angry face of yours." Noire told the CPU whereas Vert didn't seem to happy with what she said, "I do not believe that I'm all right with being considered part of their comedy routine." She told the Lowee CPU.

"Well, your comedy is pretty bad, in my opinion. Our comedy, however… is a lot different, more natural, and far funnier." Alex told them.

"How rude! I try very hard to get a laugh out of people with my comedy!" Neptune complained.

"Neppy, you're a living joke!" Plutia said with a smile on her face. She's… learning… she's starting to understand true comedy… this brings a tear to my eye.

"...Come on, you two..." Noire in slight disappointment at the current situation.

"They'll do this forever, won't they? None of you dumbasses are worthy of being CPUs, just as I thought." White Heart insulted. During this entire time writing this I have been playing RuneScape and have just hit 90 cooking… this was irrelevant but it was an achievement for me as it is my first 90… ever!

"What'd you just say?" Noire questioned the CPU thinking she heard wrong.

"I'll take you all on at once… This world's one and only CPU is gonna kick your unfunny asses!" White heart declared.

"You're gonna take on all of us… hahahahaha! That's fucking hilarious! You think you can beat not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4! You heard me four CPUs! As well as us two lovely gentlemen!? That's more fucking golden than Midas' touch!" Alex laughed at the sudden declaration with a retort of his own.

"Fucking hell that is just amazing. Hell, I'd bet this cunt alone could kick your ass!" Alex continued pointing at James.

"Quit your laughing! Of course, I can beat you all! You're nothing but a bunch of newbie CPUs and two idiots who are human!" She shot back at the laughing man.

And suddenly a certain annoying fucking girl slams open the sliding door. God, I fucking hate this child.

"Ga-thunk!" Abnes shouted as she opened the door and walked in with a microphone in hand and a certain rat following behind with a camera that is way too big for him.

"Hey! Don't start fighting yet!" She shouted, "Huuuuh? Abnes?" Plutia questioned the arrival, "Ew. The little baby child's here?" Neptune said in fake disgust.

"Stop calling me a child! As for you, stop your slacking and get the camera in position already!" Abnes said to the rat and Neptune.

The rat sighed at the situation he has found himself in, "Ugh, why do I keep getting recruited as the underling, chu…?" He complained.

"Stop whining! I'm busy with other things myself, but I still came!" Abnes shouted at the rat.

"Oh, goodie. Mister rat is here… But, um, why…?" Plutia questioned the arrival of the rat.

"It's not that complicated. I already knew that Lowee and the Seven Sages are in cahoots." Somebody get me a fucking rock…

"You say that like it's shady. _**(It really isn't shady)**_ They just lend me a hand every now and then." Vert can you stop fucking mumbling to yourself. I can fucking hear you and it sounds really annoying.

"You're the one who isn't suitable to be a CPU! You teamed up with a group like them, after all." Noire insulted.

"Don't get smart, you damn newbie!" White Heart shouted at the Lastation CPU.

"I've been protecting this nation all by myself for ages! I'll do whatever it takes to keep it safe! There's no way in hell I'm gonna be bitched into submission by some newborn CPUs and their lapdogs!" White Heart told the group in anger.

"The fuck you calling a lapdog, cunt!? I'll fucking knock your head in!" Alex shouted at the girl in anger at being called a lapdog.

"Gee, aren't you just SO important? Remind us, who's feeling threatened by us 'newborn' CPUs again?" Noire mocked the angered CPU.

"The hell'd you just say?!" White Heart asked, anger rising higher and higher.

"Yikes, I spaced out and now things have gotten pretty spicy up in here! Should we stop 'em, Plutie?" Neptune said in a panic finally noticing what was actually happening.

"Uhhhhhh..." Plutia said… whatever the fuck that means… I think she is just as out of it as Neptune was, if not more.

"Hey, you in there? Earth to Neptune, relayed to Pluto, come in!" Pluto says 'Hi'.

"Oh, oops. Sorry… I was just thinking about how I feel kinda sorry for Blanny..." Plutia said to her purple-haired friend.

"Why's that?" Neptune asked the girl, confused as to why she felt sorry for her, "I just said not to start! C'mon rat, aren't you ready yet? You're such a dullard!" Abnes shouts at Warechu.

"Shut up, ya little broad! I ain't used to this kind of thing, so… Okay, all set, chu!" That was fucking quick.

"All right, roll camera! A-A-Ahem!" Abnes began as the rat clicked the record button on the camera, "Hiya, Gamindustri friends! This is the lovely and popular idol of the Seven Sages, Abnes!" She introduced herself to whatever retard is watching, also Two-face called… HE WANTS HIS JOB BACK.

"Yuck. It's creepy how two-faced this kid can be..." Warechu said in disgust at the change in how Abnes is acting.

"Can it, rat! Your stupid comments are gonna get picked up by the mic! Err, um… I...I mean..." You have fucked up.

"Ehehehe! Golly, I'm sooo sorry!" Abnes apologised acting all innocent and shit.

"I think I want to vomit," Alex stated. I think we all want to fucking vomit.

"I'm sure you're all surprised by our sudden broadcast, but this is must-see TV!" Abnes exclaimed to whatever idiots would actually watch her on live TV.

"Right here, in front of my adorable and impressionable eyes, an all-out brawl between CPUs is occurring!" Please. Fucking. Stop… the cringe is fucking killing me.

"Huh? Wh-What the heck?! Are we on TV right now?!" Noire exclaimed in a surprised manner at the sudden turn of events.

"Yeah. I thought it would be good for the world to see me beat the crap outta your asses." White Heart said with a confident smirk.

"N-No way…!" Yes, way!

"Crap! My big television debut and I'm in my everyday clothes!? Ugh, how's my hair? Bring me a mirror!" Please. Fucking. stop…

"Wait, are we doin' it live?! Hey, hey! Can you see me, Histy?!" Neptune said to the camera.

Vert seemed to be mumbling to herself before quickly sneaking out unnoticed.

"Is this the thingy that records us? Hey, lemme seeeeee…!" Plutia said excitedly as she got closer to the camera.

"Don't touch the tech! You'll get your grubby prints on the lens! Move outta frame, you're blocking me!" Abnes shouts at the sleepy airhead.

"Shit we're on TV?! Fuck yeah! Oi cunts at home! Watch this!" Alex said as he took out the bottle of liquor and chugged it 'til it was empty.

"You dumbasses have no idea how to create an air of tension. Do you understand the situation you're in?" White Heart says as she gets angrier at the current shenanigans.

"Quiet, short stuff. No one gives a fuck what you think." James told the CPU harshly.

This seemed to have caused Blanc to lose her shit, "Who the hell do you think you're calling 'short stuff' asshole?! I'll fucking kill you, you damn disrespectful dick!" She shouts at the boy in complete anger after being insulted so harshly.

"You wanna fucking go cunt!? I ain't scared of some child with a damn temper tantrum!" He shouts back readying his weapon.

"Bring it on then asshole!" White Heart shouted at the male, pulling her massive fucking axe from literally nowhere and readying herself for the ensuing fight.

"Seems like he got riled up pretty fucking quick. We should probably join him before he goes and gets himself killed." Alex said as he readied his daggers and joined his friend.

"Sometimes I wonder whether he's the idiot and not Alex…" Maddy said as she transformed and joined the lads, "But it wouldn't be fun otherwise." She said with a smirk pulling out her weapon.

"Those three are so strange sometimes…" Noire said as she transformed to join them "She's right though… it wouldn't be fun if those two weren't like that." She said with a smirk before turning towards the Planeptune CPUs "Hey, you two. Hurry up and transform." She told them as she prepared herself for the fight.

"Are you suuuure? Okay..." Plutia said in excitement at getting to transform until she was suddenly interrupted by Neptune, "Hey, uh, time out!"

"Huuuh?" Plutia said confused, "Why are you stopping her? Hurry up and change!" Noire said getting impatient.

"Think about it. Do we really wanna show Sadie off to the world on primetime TV? Methinks not..." Neptune said to the girl, "...Oh."

"It could scar the kiddies for life, and we'll get complaints from the PTA or MPAA or PETA or whatever." But doesn't PETA do more harm than good… I should stop questioning the girls' logic.

"Th-That's a fair point. What should we do, then?" Noire asks her.

"Aww, so can I transform or not…?" Plutia asks the two girls.

Meanwhile, while these three are arguing amongst themselves the fight already fucking began and they've been going at it for like a few minutes now.

"Just fucking hurry up already! We don't have time for this shit! Get your ass over here and help us!" James scolds the three in-between the fighting.

Noire just sighs and looks at the two again "No point in complaining… Plutia please transform, you too, Neptune." Noire says as she joins the fight.

"Okay. Whee…!" Plutia says as she transforms to join the fight.

"Holy cheese! Sh-She's here! Gotta run, gotta hide… Chu..." The rat says in a panic as he starts shaking.

"Hey, this isn't a shaky-cam movie! Record it properly, like we rehearsed!" Abnes told the rat.

"Welp, she changed. Fine… Whatever happens next ain't no fault o' mine!" Neptune said as she transformed to join the ongoing fight, "I have a really bad feeling..." She says as she draws her sword and joins the fight.

* * *

Purple Heart is the first to make contact blocking an axe swing that was about to hit Alex, "Thanks!" He thanked her and got back on his feet quickly and backing away. James ran in dragging his sword along the ground as he moved in for an uppercut slash. White Heart blocked it with the side of her axe but that quickly changed as Iris Heart flung her sword-whip at her side shocking her with it.

"Gaaahh!" She shouted at the sudden shock from Iris Heart. Charging at her at high speeds, axe in hand, White Heart dealt blow after blow to Iris Heart, to which she simply blocked every attack before pushing her away into an attack from Black Heart. But it didn't stop there as another attack struck White Heart… more precisely multiple quick attacks from a twin dagger wielding idiot.

"You'll pay for that asshole!" White Heart shouted as she turned to face the man but he wasn't there instead he was behind her and struck her again with multiple quick strikes before kicking her away towards a certain girl he's friends with.

Maddy slashed hard at White Heart who had no time to properly block it with her axe so she used her arms as a shield.

"Dammit!" She yelled as she gripped her axe tightly before she flew back to dodge an attack from Black Heart. God this is fucking brutal… she's knocked around like bumper cars… that shit was fun when I was younger…

Blocking a direct attack from a greatsword she uses all her strength to push James back, knocking him on his ass in the process.

"Fuck!" He shouted as got himself back on his feet and quickly blocked a strike from White Heart. This left her wide open and allowed for Purple Heart and Iris heart to strike her from both sides ending the fight quickly.

* * *

"Gwaaaaaaah!" She shouted as she was shocked and struck down by the two Planeptune CPUs.

" _*pant, pant*_ That'll do it! See, world? See what a sorry mess the CPU of Lowee is right now?" Noire said to whatever viewers were watching.

"As expected of Blanc… She held her ground against all six of us for this long..." Neptune praised?

"This was too easy… It was rather boring. But it will satisfy me for now..." Iris Heart said.

"And that's a wrap! Hiya, everyone! Did you see that?!" Must be John Cena… cause I can't see it… I'll leave now.

"Lowee's CPU lost! She was utterly defeated!" Abnes said to whatever crazy people were watching.

"I...I lost…? Me? How…?" Blanc was in complete disbelief that she had lost… crazy ass bitch. You fought 6 people… 4 CPUs and two legendary lads.

"Lookie, lookie! Look how sad and stupid the CPU who ruled over you for so long appears now!" Abnes mocked the girl.

"Ahahaha! So lame! Incredibly uncool!" I think I just vomited in my mouth a little.

"I...I..." Blanc began as her transformation was lost, "I'm losing so many believers… My powers are drying up..." Fuck… now I feel bad.

"Blanc..." Neptune said her name feeling sorry for what happened.

"The brat's ticking me off. I don't care about Lowee's CPU or anything, but she's going too far." Noire said getting slightly annoyed.

"What boorish manners, tormenting my victim before I get the chance… You should wait your turn..." Iris Heart said… If she doesn't get her chance now she'll fucking come for me later! Let her do her job!

"Well, today's broadcast is at an end! I can't wait to see you again!" Abnes said to the camera as the footage was then cut off.

"Ugh. Finally. What an annoying personality. Although I did get to see a CPU looking pathetic, so that was kind of cool." Can we please lock her in a room for several hours?!

"L-Let's get the hell outta here, chu! If we don't, that sadistic CPU is gonna turn us inside-out!" Warechu said in panic and fear of said sadistic CPU.

Suddenly a very old fat man in a suit showed up in the room.

"I'm in awe at the size of this lad… Absolute unit." Oh for fuck's sake… Of course, Alex is the one who would fucking say that.

"Oh, dear… Lady Blanc..." The fat man said in a fake tony of worry.

"Minister, I..." Blanc began but never got to finish what she said as the fat man spoke again with a slight smile on his face, "I see that you have lost. Just as my calculations had calculated." Your calculations did jack shit because anyone would see that this fight was a lost cause for her. Six on fucking 1.

"What...should I do? If this keeps up, my nation… Lowee will..." Seeking help from the fat man are ya?

This 'Minister' smiled even wider as he spoke again, "Do not worry. Leave everything to me. Yes, everything… I will do as I see fit to this nation!"

Blanc was surprised at the sudden words, "Huh? ...Minister?"

His smile grew even wider as he let out a short laugh, "Minister?! How wrong you are. For you see, my true identity is..."

"A balding fat man!" Alex called out interrupting him which received a snicker from everyone minus the fat man and Blanc.

"I am not balding! Ahem, I am Mister Badd, one of the Seven Sages!" Okay, seriously where the fuck is this introductory text coming from.

"Seven Sages…? You? H-How can this be…?" Welcome to Pandora kiddo… wrong line. Welcome to the real world Kiddo. Fixed.

Alex literally burst out laughing at this revelation… it's pretty funny though I will admit.

"Without even realising it, you had appointed one of the Seven Sages as your right-hand man, huh?" Neptune said to the defeated CPU.

"What? How stupid can she get?! She's gotten exactly what she deserves!" Hold on a minute.

* * *

 _ **OI PLUTIA! GET IN HERE!**_

 _What is it… Mr. Author…?_

 _ **Do me a favour and 'Punish' Noire later. 'Kay? If you do it I'll buy you sewing materials and candy.**_

 _Really…! Thanks, Mr. Author! You're the best… ehehehe._

Ahem back to narrating…

* * *

"You should train your gimps properly. Train them so thoroughly that they would never dare question their master!" Effective methods: Iris Heart.

"Bwahahaha! We are grateful to you all. Had you six lost, I would've had to continue ingratiating myself under this hot-headed brat." That was a terrible laugh and you know it.

"How long are you going to yak? I'm gonna go home. Laters!" Abnes said as she left the room.

"M-Me too! I'm busting outta this joint as soon as possible, chu!" The rat panicked as he was ready to leave.

"You are not dismissed, rat. I have one more job for you." Mr. Badd told the rat with a smile, "What?!"

"You must broadcast my political and socioeconomic agendas as the nation's great new leader. Prepare the camera." I want to broadcast my agenda with a foot to your face.

"But before that… You, over there." Mr. Badd called out to a nearby soldier.

"Sir!" The soldier responded.

"Loweean soldiers? There looks to be quite a few of them." Purple Heart remarked now noticing the soldiers in the room.

"He already controls the military? This nation wouldn't have lasted much longer even if we left it alone." Can we lock her in a closet with Abnes?

Hey, where did the trio go? When the fuck did they sneak away and how did I not notice this.

Blanc was completely silent, she had no words for what was currently happening.

Mr. Badd looked towards the soldiers and told them firmly, "Arrest them. Make sure they don't have any form of escaping either!" He commanded.

"Understood!" The Loweean soldier replied.

"Oh, it sounds as though we are going to get all chained up..." You'd probably enjoy that…

"We're worn down already… Taking on this many strong soldiers will prove difficulty… Uh, minus the 'y'." Did you just fucking make that reference… And this is why I find Neptune amusing…

"Hmm? Why, my darling little Neppy, you just said something rather filthy." That's. What. She. Fucking. Said.

Neptune was a little red in the face at what Iris Heart had said, "Huh!? Your imagination is what's filthy here!"

"Okay, enough innuendo. Let's just keep quiet. Thanks to SOMEONE, we're in a bind… Hey, where did the other 3 go?" Noire said as she suddenly realised the room was missing three distinct people.

Their transformations had worn off and guards immediately surrounded them binding them in cuffs before escorting them to a prison.

This is gonna get spicy… Let's roll fuckos.

* * *

 _ **A/N** **Sorry for the delay on this chapter… I was serious when I said that modded terraria had been consuming me, but it seemed to have worked out hopefully.**_

 _ **This is my longest chapter yet and I'm honestly surprised at how much I managed to write today but I guess it went well with me afk cooking on RuneScape in the background as I was writing.**_

 _ **Thank you for taking your time with a piece of shit like myself.**_

 _ **See you next week!**_


	20. Chapter 19

_**Chapter 19: We need to do a B and E.**_

* * *

After shit went south and guards had shown up the three had booked it out of there.

"Alright, we managed to escape without being noticed, but now those girls are probably locked up somewhere..." Maddy says to the two.

Both Alex and James just look at each other with a huge grin plastered across their faces. James and Alex have the same idea and they fucking knew it.

"There is something I want to be with my life that is not the norm..." Alex began.

"There's something that's off the beaten path. I wanna be a fucking criminal." James continued.

The grins on their faces grew wider as they looked at each other.

"You know what we have to do? We have to do a B and E" The boys said at the same time.

Maddy just sighed at the two idiots in front of her, however, they were correct, they need to get a plan going to save the girls from wherever they are being kept, and NOT just barge in without a plan like these two idiots wanted to do.

"Stop being a bunch of fools and get your heads together! Alright let's sit down for a moment and plan this out, we have to be quick though, the longer we idle the worse this could get." Maddy tells the two as she sits down, motioning the two over to her so they can plan this out properly.

"First things first. We have no clue where they are being held and how many guards are stationed to keep people away from them. Our best option is to have someone create a distraction at the front and keep whatever guards stationed there busy." Maddy said to the two boys who were nodding.

"Once two of us are inside we start listening in, eavesdropping when necessary and find out where the girls are being kept. Once we have the required information we move onto stage 3 of the plan." She continues with a smirk forming on her face.

"Saving the girls and beating the ever living shit out of the retard who thought they could get away with this." She finished as the two boys had a smile on their faces.

The three continued to discuss their plan but more in depth with how it should be executed.

* * *

Half an hour later they were prepared to kick some ass.

Both Maddy and James were hiding while Alex was on distraction duty.

Walking up to the two guards outside the entrance to the dungeon that leads to the Basilicom (Still think this was the dumbest idea ever) Alex got their attention real quick.

"Halt! You will go no further than this citizen!" One of the guards shouted with a sword pointed at our resident idiot. Wasting no time, Alex just grinned and drew his revolver before running straight past the 2 guards and into the dungeon of course not without leaving them a present via bullet to the foot.

"See you later losers!" He shouted as he made his way through the dungeon with the other guard following behind calling for backup from the other guards that could be spared along with a medical crew.

Seeing the opportunity presented to them the duo hiding made their move sneaking past the injured guard and getting inside the complex.

As they got closer to the Basilicom they noticed something that they didn't see when they first arrived.

A cave entrance… Okay, you people have serious fucking design flaws.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" James says to his companion, "That this cave leads to the girls?" Maddy answers him, "Yeah. Although how did we not see this in the first place? And the chances we run into the girls are slim at best," James tells her as he examines the entrance to the cave.

He takes a good look at the ground for any traces of life that may have been through here and notices multiple footprints.

"I'm upping those chances from 'slim' to 50/50," James tells his companion who joins him at the scene.

"It's worth a shot. If we can find those girls while the idiot keeps everyone busy we'll be golden" Maddy tells him as she steps into the cave motioning for him to follow him inside.

Torches lit the rocky walls of the cave as they made their way through. James decided now was a good time to pull out the rifle he's kept stored for a while so he can peek deeper into the cave for signs of life.

Their steps echoed quietly as they made headway. Peeking a corner with his rifle James motions his friend over to take a look for herself. Maddy brings her eye to the scope and takes a look at what James wanted her to see. Around a few hundred meters away was metal walling and flooring that cells on either side and branching paths that probably lead to more cells.

"I'm thinking we hit jackpot," James says to Maddy as he adjusts the zoom on the scope looking further down towards the very end of the cells. At the very end was a cell that looked even more reinforced than the others. But what was most important was that, although hard to see he could make out a purple dot and a black dot cowering in fear? Yo, what the fuck is happening that could possibly make them cower in fear…oh, I know.

"How much do you want to bet that's the only guard and that I could totally make the shot?" James asked his friend as he positioned himself.

Maddy sighs but still answers his question, "I doubt that there is only one guard, but if there is only one guard, then I doubt you can make that shot." She tells him with a smirk to which he just grins at her.

Breathing in and out James calms himself and aims just above the guard's head.

…

…

…

 _*BANG*_ A loud gunshot sounded throughout the cave as a bullet came speeding down the dimly lit halls.

A loud scream echoed as the bullet hit the guard right in the leg causing him to fall to the ground gripping his leg in pain.

"Fuck! God fucking dammit! I aimed too low!" James yelled as he holstered his rifle and made headway towards the cell with Maddy running side by side with him.

"What the hell just happened!?" A certain tsun's voice screamed as she looked at the wounded guard before looking down the hall to find two approaching figures.

"Maddy, get the keys and destroy any communication devices the guard might have on him," James tells his friend as they reach the cell to find 4 locked up girls.

"Sup!" James said as he waved at the girls while Maddy grabbed the keys and a communication device that was swiftly broken.

"Are you crazy?! Do you want to alert the entire guard to our position?!" Noire questioned the man before her.

"Calm down princess, I just saved you, and this is how you thank me?" James retorts back as Maddy unlocked the door to the cell letting the prisoners free.

"Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!" Neptune yelled as she ran out of the cell immediately.

"Thank you for saving us..." Blanc says with a bow.

"Step 2 lads! Ascend from darkness!" Alex says as he comes running in, "This isn't fucking Vorkuta ya fucking chink!" James says to his idiot of a friend.

"What's 'Vorkuta'?" Neptune asks with a confused look, "Don't worry about it, it's nothing." James answers her.

With Alex now joining the group he was the first to ask, "So what's the game plan? We getting the girls and ditching Lowee?" Noire shakes her head before answering him.

"Because of Plutia we will be helping Blanc in taking her nation back" she answers him.

James just looks at her directly "You on drugs or something? First, you didn't want anything to do with her and now you want to help her?"

"Enough chit chat. Let's just go beat the crap out of that fat bastard." Blanc says as she starts walking away.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Neptune shouts as she catches up to her.

The rest of the group joins up, making their exit.

* * *

A few minutes later they round the corner and are on the path to the cave entrance.

"By the way, Plutie..." Neptune says breaking the silence.

"Hmmmmmmm? What's up?" Plutia asks with a confused look.

"It's cool we're helping Blanc retake her nation and stuff, but...how're we gonna do it?" Neptune asks the airhead.

"Asking the important questions, aren't you, Neptune? Either way, I'd love to know how the hell we are gonna pull this off… I have some ideas but they aren't the safest." James says to the group while asking about the plan.

"We'll just...ummmmm… How do we do it, Noire…?" You hear that? That is the universal sound of my face hitting my desk.

"Don't shoulder me with this!" Noire shouts in surprise at Plutia shoving the planning onto her.

"So, let me get this straight. All that talk in confinement and you didn't come up with a plan to get Blanc her nation back?" Maddy says with a serious look on her face.

"Your conversations really are like an ongoing comedy routine..." Blanc says to her former rivals.

"If that's how you feel, it'd be great if you'd play the straight man instead of me for a change," Noire tells her. What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Your comedy is shit." Alex boldly states.

"I'm satisfied being an audience member," Blanc tells the tsun.

"Tell us the plan, man!" Neptune asks.

"Come ooooon, Noire…!" Seriously do you people only know how to shove work onto other people?

"Ugh, you're so noisy! Can't I think for ONE minute?!" Noire says annoyed at the shenanigans these 2 girls bring.

The group stopped for a moment while Noire was thinking of a plan to overthrow the fat fuck.

"I guess if we stopped the minister in a normal manner, it wouldn't do anything," Noire says.

"True. That wouldn't instantly return my lost shares or anything." Blanc says in agreement.

"Right you are! Although getting your ass handed to you on live TV would do that..." Alex gives his input on the current situation.

Blanc looked a little pissed at the remark, "Try not to frickin' remind me." She said in an angry tone, this, however, got Noire thinking.

"Blanny, when you say naughty words, it sounds silly..." I disagree, young Plutia… she is far more of a tolerable person when she starts swearing.

"Television, huh?" Noire said thinking about what had happened before they were thrown in the tosser, "That's it! That old guy said he'd be making a political speech on TV, right?" She said remembering his little conversation with a certain rat.

"A political speech, already? That bastard's pretty well-prepared… He made an ass outta me, dammit…!" Blanc says angrily at the sudden revelation.

"So, we kick his ass then force him to say shit on live TV?" Alex says understanding what Noire was planning.

"Exactly! If we crush him during his broadcast, and then expose his evil deeds..." Noire says with a smirk on her face at getting to give the fat cunt some payback.

"The situation would reverse..." Blanc says in understanding.

"You're sooooo smart, Noire…!" No, you're just really, really stupid.

"I-It wasn't that hard to think of or anything." Noire smiles at the sudden praise, "Still, a certain CPU from somewhere was said to be brainy, but she couldn't think up a plan of this caliber." Noire says with a smirk on her general facial features.

"Huh? Aww, you shouldn't have! Nobody's ever called me brainy before. You're a good praiser!" Oh for fuck's sake, Neptune, she didn't mean you at fucking all.

"Yeah, I wasn't talking about you. There is zero chance that you'd have come up with this." I could have come up with a better plan… Okay, maybe I couldn't.

"Don't act so haughty. I'm just not at full capacity now." Blanc says in anger.

"Sure, sure. Typical response from a sore loser. But I guess we can leave it at that for now." Typical response from a cocky bitch. But I guess you'll get what's coming to you someday.

"Now, now ladies, stop arguing like children and let's get a fucking move on," James says breaking up a fight before it can start

"Hmph! Fine, I'll get along with her for now…" Noire says in her general tsun manner.

Blanc mumbles something about kicking her ass later.

The group continues walking onward.

Making their way out of the cave they move onto their objective inside the Basilicom.

* * *

 _ **Hello… how's the cliff… you need some help there?**_

 _Hey… why did you end it so early…_

 _ **P-Plutia! Wh-What are y-you doing here?**_

 _Neppy said I could be here… She said something about 'Punishing Mr. Author'_

 _ **I don't like the smile on your face… Please back away!**_

 _Hmhmhmhmhm, now, now Mr. Author I think it's time you had your long-awaited punishment!_

 _ **HELP! ABORT MISSION! ABORT!**_


	21. Chapter 20

_**Chapter 20: Goodbye Fat bastard!**_

* * *

Once inside the Basilicom the group makes haste towards the area with Mr. Badd to foil his really shitty plan… Honestly it wasn't that great.

As they push through they hear the distant voice of a rat and a fat fuck "Could they be any louder? Whatever let's knock some heads!" Alex says as he dashes off faster than before.

"Always the impatient one… C'mon, we gotta move if we wanna kick his ass before he can begin his broadcast" Maddy says as she speeds up slashing up monsters in her path.

This prompted some others to speed up as well… Minus one person…

"Waaaaaaiiiiiit for meeeeeee…!" Plutia shouts as she tries to catch up with the group.

* * *

As the group neared the room the first one to make an entrance was… Alex, actually he literally kicked the door off its hinges and ended up hitting the fat man himself.

"Arghh! Who would dare interrupt me!" Mr. Badd yelled in anger at being hit with a flying door "That would be me, fattie!" Alex announced as he made his entrance.

"Lucky cunt… Oh well. This is where the fun begins..." James says as he joins his friend, weapon at the ready. Maddy joined the two with a sigh at their general idiocy.

"I knew I was forgetting a few heads when I had the CPUs imprisoned… No matter, you will all be dealt with soon enough" Mr. Badd says as he fixes up his suit.

"We made it in time," Noire says as she makes it through the door with Blanc and Neptune following close behind.

"Minister…!" Was that supposed to be threatening, Blanc? Because honestly, it sounded… well, cute, she's going to kill me later for that…

"You're alllllll meanies…" Plutia says with a pout as she finally catches up to everyone. Noire looks at the slow and sleepy girl with a sigh "Please try and keep up with us, Plutia..." She says to the girl "Buuuuuut you allllll move toooo fast…" Plutia complains which just prompts another sigh from the twin-tailed girl.

"The CPUs!? Dammit!" Mr. Badd says in surprise at the appearance of the CPUs… Did you forget to take your medication, old man? Anyone with a brain could've seen this coming a mile away once those three had arrived.

"What the author said! Or is he the narrator? It's so confusing..." Well, finding someone else to narrate is pretty difficult… I could just give some first person perspective and let it roll on… but that is saved for lone wolf missions… Or when I feel like doing it.

"How rude of you! And no I did not forget my medication! I just did not expect those three to have managed to free the CPUs when the place was under heavy security!" 1 guard isn't 'heavy' security…

"Screw this! I don't care anymore. I'm gonna bounce!" Warechu says in a slight panic.

"We won't let you! Plutia, go!" Noire says to the air-headed CPU.

"Oookey-dokey. Whee…!" Plutia says as she transforms into my potential new best friend… What? I reckon given the circumstances, some alcohol (maybe) and a few hours of banter and shit, we would get along really well…

Plutia grabs the rat by the tail before he can scramble off to wherever he was going to go "Lovely. I've captured the filthy little rodent," she says with a smirk on her face.

"Hey, no fair! L-Let go of me! Lemme go, chu!" Warechu says in a panic as he tries to get out of the sadistic CPU's grip.

"You mustn't struggle, little one. If you behave, I won't hurt you," Plutia says to the poor rat.

"Wh-What're you gonna do to me?! Certain animal rights groups ain't gonna like how you touch me…!" The rat says in a panic. Plutia just continues to smile at the rat as she brings him up to her face "I'll do nothing to rile them up. I only want you to operate the camera like you did before..."

"Th-The camera?" The rat asks with a stutter "Yeah if you could just record the fat bastard confessing to his misdeeds, that'd be absolutely perfect," James tells the upside down rat with a smile on his face… Okay, we seriously need to keep him away from Iris Heart…

Neptune joins Plutia with her own transformation "It's like he said… All we need from you is to broadcast the 'speech' this man will be giving where he will confess to his evil deeds," Purple Heart says as she points to the camera with her sword.

"So that's your strategy…?" Mr. Badd says quietly before looking directly at Blanc "It seems as though you planned this quite thoroughly, Lady Blanc," he says with a scowl on his facial features.

"...Prepare yourself. There's no chance in hell that I'm going to forgive you!" Blanc says with a raised fist at the old man.

"Prepare your anus, to embrace the gayness!" Really, Alex? Was that necessary? Fuck you… I was gonna say that…

Let's just say that a few heads were turned in his general direction… And by a few, I mean everyone except James, who actually burst out laughing.

"Ignoring that strange man's comment… For you to team up with your rival CPUs? And after they beat you and allowed me to take your nation from you? This is truly laughable, haha!" Mr. Badd said with a laugh at the situation the Lowee CPU has found herself in.

"Shut up! It's your fault things turned out this way..." Blanc says in anger at the comment from the fattie, whereas Noire doesn't look too happy about his comment either "It's not like I'm actually cooperating with Lowee's CPU or anything," One blinding transformation later… "It's more that I want to knock your teeth out myself!" Keep telling yourself that you hard-headed tsundere.

"You thought you could antagonize four CPUs and get away with it? This is your chance to surrender," Neptune says as she points her sword at the fatass.

Silence seemed to permeate the atmosphere for a moment at Neptune's comment on Mr. Badd surrendering.

"No, no. Letting him cry uncle is far too boring. Our little rodent friend wants to film me teaching this sweaty pig some discipline. Isn't that right?" Iris Heart says with a smile towards poor little Warechu.

"Th-That is absolutely what I want, chu!" The rat answers rather quickly which seems to make the fat old man scowl, until he started laughing "Hehe… Hahaha… Is it really fine for you to broadcast something like this?" Just broadcast it strictly to the adult channels should shit get a little…interesting.

"Can we please kick his fat ass already?" Alex groans as he grows more and more bored at the conversation.

"Hmm… He has a point. This may turn into something improper to broadcast to living rooms across the globe..." Neptune says with a hand to her chin. Mr. Badd still has that disgusting wrinkled smirk on his face as he points to the three CPUs from the rival nations "That's not it at all. You said four CPUs a moment ago, but...didn't you mean three?"

"Three? ...No..." Neptune questions the man's words until she realises what he meant as she looked towards Blanc who was being suspiciously silent.

"Mister Rat. Don't begin recording just yet," Plutia tells the rat.

"Wh-Whatever you say, chu!" The rat obediently follows her orders. Noire looks over at Blanc who is being silent with a blank stare "Don't give us that blank stare. Transform already! We're doing this for YOUR nation, after all!" Noire demands.

"But...I can't transform..." Blanc says with a disheartened look.

"I figured as much. After that last battle, I doubt anyone is left to power you with their faith…" Mr. Badd began "Without the faith of your people, you are nothing. The power of a CPU seems so fickle and inconvenient!" Except for magical author intervention… She can't find me here, right?

Blanc just growled at the fat man "What about it? Even if we don't have Lowee's CPU with us, beating you won't be a problem at all," Noire says as she points her sword at him without thinking about the consequences of said actions.

"If we do that, we may be the ones who gain faith from the people of Lowee instead of Blanc. This would result in Lowee's total extinction and Blanc would no longer have the powers of a CPU..." Neptune tells the eager girl.

"Oh… You're right..." Noire says in realisation. Plutia doesn't seem too amused about this information "Hmm. So my darling, shy little Blanc can't transform..."

"Geheheheheh! If you're fine with that, do as you wish to me! Just know that the curtain would fall on Lowee, and it would be at the hands of you foolish CPUs!" That's not something you should say around Iris Heart… Like ever…

While this is happening our trio seems to have gotten bored and are just sitting down talking about random shit with the occasional laugh.

"What to do…? I want to beat the shit out of this guy way more than I want to worry about Lowee," Noire says her true intentions.

"I would love to keep the cute, non-CPU version of Blanc as my personal pet..." Oh, fuck!

"Don't joke around about tha- … Wait, you weren't joking, were you?" No, Neptune… I do not think she was joking at all.

"Aww, I'm glad my dear little Neppy has come to understand me," Plutia says with a smile on her face.

"Ugh… What the hell is this situation I've gotten myself in…? I'm nothing but dead weight… And it's nobody's fault but mine..." Blanc says on the verge of tears.

"Oh, are you gonna pout and cry? Gonna hiccup and bawl again? You're such a crybaby, Blanny..." You seem strangely happy about this…

James seems to have joined the CPUs seemingly done with whatever they were talking about.

"I'm not gonna cry! I'm not, but… This situation's too frustrating…!" Blanc says with the tears slowly building up in her eyes.

"If you're gonna cry, cry somewhere else," James says before Plutia could even begin to respond. Blanc just looks at him in anger with tears still showing in her eyes "Oh yeah?! And what would you know?! You're just some human!"

"Nothing. I would know, nothing. What I know however is all this whining won't change a thing, fat cunt over there took your nation from under your feet, and you're standing there whining?! Gimme a fucking break! Why don't you stop complaining for once and deal with the problem in front of you! Transformation or fucking not, you can still give this cunt a helluva beating and I fucking know it." James yells at the girl.

"If you're gonna act like a child, I'm going to treat you like one. Just sit back and let the adults handle this… However, if you really want your nation back, toughen up, quit the waterworks and get your fucking nation back. Hell, I'll even put my own faith in you if it makes you feel any better! Just stop this whining crap, it's fucking annoying as shit." Couldn't have said it better myself…

"I'm with the nerd on this one… If it means you'll stop being a little brat, you can have my faith as well." Alex says as he rises from his seated position and joins his friend.

Blanc was at a loss for words she didn't know what to say "Hmm… I honestly didn't expect him to do that…" Iris Heart says surprised at the outburst from the young man.

"Well, you don't know him like we do… Although he is the youngest of us three, he's always been the more mature one when the situation calls for it. He may act like an immature idiot a lot of the time...but that is for his own amusement… Who can blame him though, with how we grew up..." Maddy says to Plutia who gives her a strange look.

Maddy walks up towards the boys "I'm with them… I'll put my faith in you... Because when the world drags you down, you get right back up and give it the middle finger. Even through the toughest of times, we had each other's backs… Because that's what friends are for." She says with a smile as she puts a hand on Blanc's shoulder.

"Neptune, is that even possible?" Noire whispers to the girl beside her.

"I'm not sure. But…" Neptune began before walking up to join the trio. Neptune looks directly at Blanc with a friendly smile "Blanc, I will put my faith in you, too. I know that you are a dependable friend." She looks over to where Plutia is "What about you, Plutie?"

"Of course I'll put _my_ faith in her…" Plutia began as she had her eyes directly on the Loweean CPU "I'll believe in the stubborn, prideful, rude Blanc who is actually a cute little crybaby."

Blanc still couldn't say anything, even though she wanted to so very badly.

"And you, Noire?" Neptune asked. Noire seemed a little surprised that she was being involved with this "Huh? Me? Uh, well… As my upperclassman of sorts, maybe I'll put some faith in you. Just a tiny bit!" What a heartfelt moment… minus the tsun…

"You all..." Blanc finally snapped out of her silence "Thank you… I can feel a little bit of power… It's small, but it's enough to..." And in the general flash of light, White Heart has joined the fight "Transform! I did it!" Blanc said surprised at this actually fucking working… bullshit powers of friendship.

"H-How can this be?!" Mr. Badd said in surprise at the impossible feat that was made possible. White Heart started laughing like a maniac "Hahaha… Hahahahaha! Now I can pummel your wrinkled face into dough without hesitation!" She says pointing her gauntlet-clad finger at the fat cunt as she summoned her axe.

The four CPUs group up and prepare to fight the member of the Seven Sages.

"You coming?" Neptune calls out to the trio who are looking at the scene with a smile on there faces.

Maddy is the first to join them, transforming and bringing out her sword. Alex slid in next, daggers at the ready. James joined last, simply walking over with his sword resting on his shoulder and a smirk plastered on his face.

"Drat… I never would have thought the situation would unfurl in this manner..." Mr. Badd says as he slowly backs away from the group of armed warriors until he suddenly stops and smiles "But it's also my chance to bury all of you here and take over the world…like a true businessman!" That's fucking hilarious! You think you actually stand a chance?!

"That's impossible." White Heart states.

"How can you be so sure, hmm? I still have one last ace up my professionally laundered sleeve!" The ground started opening up behind him as a huge robot rose up "I diverted some of Lowee's military budget into the development of this super-cool powered mech suit!" It looks fucking ugly.

"Wh-What the hell?!" Blanc says in surprise.

"You were even embezzling from the national budget?" Noire says with a sly smirk.

"Pretty sloppy management of your trusted advisors." Neptune remarks.

"C-Can it, pigtails! That doesn't matter right now!" Blanc shouts at her former rival.

Mr. Badd just lets out another laugh as he climbs into the mech suit's cockpit "Mwahahaha! CPUs… Witness my true power!"

"Hmph. I'll crush that ugly mech suit like a can of soda! You'll know my true rage and regret crossing me!" Blanc says as she brings her axe to her shoulders.

"We mustn't kill him. We need to make him divulge his secrets afterwards." Neptune tells the eager girl.

"It finally begins…!" No! Bad Iris Heart! Down girl! "Start filming, my dear rodent!" She tells the rat.

"You got it, chu!" Warechu immediately replies as he starts filming.

* * *

White Heart made the first move, flying in fast and swinging hard with her axe "Take this! Yarrrrrrrrrgh!" The attack was blocked by the giant fist of the mech suit.

Neptune and Noire fly in from either side while Plutia follows up where Blanc's attack was blocked and strikes the forearm of the mech with her sword-whip.

" _Critical Edge!"_ Neptune calls out as she strikes the mech suit with her katana leaving a few shallow cuts in the side of it. Alex ran up past Neptune calling out another skill of his " _Rending Slashes!_ " Slicing at the leg of the mech suit with both daggers in a cross shape it deals minor damage but also de-buffs the enemy with a slow.

"I'm not done yet fatty!" Alex shouts as he rolls under the slow moving fist " _Rend!_ " He calls out slashing in front of him creating a cross shaped slash that travelled through the air into the mech suit's right arm leaving a deep cross shaped cut in it which only got deeper through the skill's bleed damage.

" _Lace ribbon dance!_ " Noire called out as she struck the other arm of the mech with a few slashes and some kicks.

Mr. Badd smashes a fist towards the approaching James hitting him away into a tumble.

"Ow… That hurt… but that just makes it worse for you… _Critical Rush!_ " He calls out as he kicks off from the ground running fast at the mech suit before striking at the right leg dealing massive damage and leaving a deep cut in it.

Jumping back with a smirk on his face he is unable to notice the giant fist ready to smash him until a certain friend of his blocks the attack by slicing off the heavily damaged mech arm. The arm fell with a loud thud which alerted the rest of the team and surprised the operator of the mech.

"Thanks..." James thanks his friend for the save as he gains some distance from the mech.

"Your welcome!" She yells back at him with a smile.

With one less arm to focus on the group turns their attention to the other working arm with Plutia being the first to strike it " _Fighting Viper!_ " She calls out as she swings her sword-whip down and up in a 'V' shape leaving behind deep cuts and a literal 'V' made of energy which promptly exploded dealing more damage to the arm.

Blanc then came down from the sky with her huge axe "Eat this! Asshole!" She shouted as she struck down with her axe cleanly slicing off the forearm of the mech suit's remaining arm.

"Nooooooooooooo! Dammit!" Mr. Badd shouted as he was now left defenseless.

With no way to defend himself, Blanc flew over to the man and ripped him right out of the cockpit throwing him onto the ground to where Plutia was…

Everyone who wasn't Plutia or Blanc backed away and undid any transformations that they had going on… I think you get the picture on what will happen next…

However, we won't get to see this lovely development because the people we're following is only one person and that would be our lad of lads… James!

* * *

 _ **~ IT'S TIME! ~**_

When the fight was over and we had won I had walked off and left the building to take some time to think.

I just sat down and stared up at the sky for who knows how long just thinking about the adventures we've had so far and thinking about the possible adventures to come.

A tap on my shoulder snapped me out of my daze and I turned around to see none other than Blanc.

"What is it?" I asked the girl.

"Thank you… For helping me get back my nation and for believing in me..." She replied in a quiet voice to which I smiled at.

"That's what friends are for… But not just that…rather I saw myself in your for a short time and it just pissed me off… Sorry for yelling at you earlier," I apologised to the Loweean CPU.

"Don't bother… If anything I should be the one apologising… I was pretty rude and deserved what I got..." She said as she sat down next to me.

"If I may ask… What happened in your life that you saw yourself in me at the time?" Blanc asked me but I just waved it off.

"Another story for another time… Let's just say it wasn't the best time. Okay?" I said with a smile.

"Well, I have to rebuild my nation now… The other's have already left but your friends are waiting for you by the entrance." Blanc said to me as she got up and walked away.

I just let out a quiet laugh to myself as I got up and waved goodbye to Blanc before walking towards the entrance of the Basilicom that was opened up with the defeat of the fat asshole.

"What took you so long?!" Alex yelled out at me "Oh you know…stuff..." I say with a smirk as I walk right past him.

He just smirks back and runs up to me joining me in leaving this nation and returning back to Planeptune.

Maddy then caught up to us as we continued our walk out the nation "Never change, you two," she said with a smile that we both just laughed at.

"Never planned on it..." I said quietly with a smirk as we continued on…

* * *

 _ **What a wholesome chapter… kinda. Sure he was a bit of a dick with his choice of words… but sometimes you gotta be an ass to get your point across.**_

 _ **Their past is one that will not be revealed for a long time…**_

 _ **Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_

 _ **See ya…**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	22. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21: This title doesn't exist. No exceptions.**_

* * *

Let us start this off with something entertaining.

"Author is a fuckhead who go can go fuck off back to his room."

… I fucking hate you people.

Ahem, moving on now.

* * *

"We've been really busy lately… Two weeks of work and other shit. I need a fucking break," Alex says as he finishes off the last monster in the horde.

James then takes out some kind of earbuds… Wait! They're fucking mine! How the fuck did he get my fucking earbuds. This is fucking bullshit.

"What? Sorry I couldn't hear you… Been listening to some music because it's boring as fuck right now… Author has probably realised I stole his earbuds by now." You're fucking lucky I'm on my computer right now and don't need to use them… Asshole…

"Is it at least good music?" Alex immediately asked.

"Do you classify my playlist of memes and meme songs as good?" James asked with a smirk.

"Why do you even have that?" Don't ask that question…

"Because if I don't have it, then who will? Someone needs to have a shitty meme playlist… Oh, hold up next song is playing..." Is that song what I fucking think it is?! You fucking god… Putting such a fire song in your playlist.

"doo doodoodoo

doodoodoodoodoo

doo doodoodoo doo doo doo doooo

doo doodoodoo

doodoodoodoodoo

doodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoodoo

 **BADDA BAP BAP BADDA BAP BAP BAAAA**

 **BADDA BADDA BAP BAP BAAAA**

 **BADDA BAP BAP BADDA BAP BAP BAAA**

 **BADDA BADDA BAP BAP BAA**

 **BADDA BAP BAP BADDA BAP BAP BAAA BAP! BADDA BAP BAP BAAA**

 **BADDA BAP BAP BADDA BAP BAP BAP BADDA BADDA BAP BAP BAP**

beep boop

badda badda baaa

badap baa badapa baaa

badapa badadalada badalaba badalaba

bappa dappa dappa dappa dap daa daa

beep boop

badda badda baaa

badap baa badapa baaa

badapa badadalada badalaba badalaba

bappa dappa dappa dappa dap daa daa." Holy fucking shit… Give this man a medal!

"… What the fuck was that?" Alex asked in a very confused manner at what just fucking happened.

"Sea shanty 2. Only the most fire song 07 has to offer." You got that right you fucking legend!

"Okay…then. Now that we're finally done how about we visit Neptune and Plutia?" Alex asks to which the other just nods… Strangely enough, where is Maddy? She's been disappearing during the day and showing up at night…

The two then make their leave out the forest dungeon and back into Planeptune.

* * *

Meanwhile, two people seem to be flying towards the Basilicom…

While these two idiots make their way over let's chat for a bit.

So… Anyone here excited for MHGU? I know I am… Or maybe you're excited for next year? February is going to be a legendary month for next years video games…

The real question is why people are even reading this… This whole thing started off as a joke for my love-hate relationship with grinding anything out… Yet here I am, still writing and actually kind of enjoying it, it's a good way to waste time for me as I get bored very often and never know what to do… Writing these chapters every Wednesday and Friday has been quite good for me.

Times up, they seem to be getting closer to the Basilicom.

Two people landed right beside them as they continued their walk towards their Basilicom.

Surprise, surprise! It's Noire and Neptune. Not really a surprise…

"The protagonist has arrived!" Neptune loudly proclaims.

"Excuse me, but I believe that the main character here is not you but it is I," James states pointing to himself with his thumb.

"Nope! I am always the protagonist. No exceptions."

Unfortunately… she is correct. Somehow by some bullshit mystical questionable force, she is still a protagonist.

"Are you two done yet?" Noire asks annoyed at the two peoples shenanigans.

"Yes." They both answer at the same time.

"So why were you both together? We've been working non-stop for the past two weeks so we don't really know what's going on..." James asks the two CPUs.

"Well, idiot here has been bumming at my place for the past two weeks to play games and whatever, and it kept me from doing my work," Noire says in an annoyed tone.

"Huh? I'd been trying to get outta your knotty hair like, so many times, but you stopped me from leaving. You were like, verbatim, _**(What does that even mean? Hold up googling it now…**_ _ **Oh, so that's what it means… Neat!)**_ _"No, don't go! If you leave me now, I'll never, ever forgive you!"_ Neptune says in some strange tone that I can't read… Oh… Never mind.

"I did NOT say it all sexy like that! You would always try to leave when you were beating me at a game..." Accept your fucking defeat and move the fuck on.

"If you lose to Neptune in a video game… You suck. No exceptions." James stated to the tsundere CPU.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Noire asks angrily.

"It means exactly what it means… You are bad at video games… Git gud." Alex tells the Lastation CPU.

"No, it just means I'm too good at video games!" Neptune proclaims proudly.

"Do we still have FURI? Because if we do… You need to beat the game on it's hardest difficulty in under 10 hours… Otherwise, your proclamation is rendered false." James tells the purple-haired idiot.

"Maddy should have the USB still… But I don't know where she put it," Alex answered his friend.

"Another time then..." James says with a sigh.

"Even if you did have it, I could totally beat it in under 10 hours…no 5 hours!" Neptune says in a cocky manner.

"Keep on dreaming kid… Keep on dreaming," James says with a smirk.

"So hey, try to face this factoid. If you couldn't do your work with me around, why're you coming along now?" Neptune asks the tsundere.

"Good question detective Nep!" Alex says with a teasing smile.

"I-It'll all work out. I usually work incredibly hard, so I can take a break like this if I want… Besides, if I don't show my face around here every now and then, she might forget about me..." Noire answers the girl saying the last part quietly to which only Alex somehow heard.

"Has our dear Nowa got some _special_ feelings for Plutia~?" Alex asks with a teasing smile.

"Huh!? N-N-No! Not at all… I don't miss her at all! Hmph." Noire says trying to brush it off as nothing but she can't hide her face being all red and shit.

"How shameful, shouting in the middle of a busy street." Oh hi, Blanc! I doubt anyone is actually paying attention to their conversation.

"Blanc? Well, what a coinkydink," Neptune says as she greets the Loweean CPU, however, Noire doesn't look too happy about this at all.

"Ugh. Why is the benevolent CPU of Lowee at a lowly place like this?" Noire asks harshly.

"I'd appreciate it if you tried to call me by my name, newbie CPU of Lastation," Blanc responds angrily.

They just keep giving each other this angry look…

"Calm down ladies… You can fight later. Now then, Blanc, what brings you to Planeptune?" James says as he breaks up the brewing fight.

Blanc immediately snapped out of her anger to respond to the curious male "I had some free time, so I've come to visit Plutia."

"You've been doing that quite a bit since that incident..." Neptune says to the girl.

"There seems to be some competition for a certain sleepy air-headed CPU..." James remarks at this.

"I-It's not like that..." Blanc says with a happy smile… Holy shit she's actually smiling! Get the fucking camera!

"Oh boy, how confident! You've got fewer shares than this newbie, but you can hang out here?" Noire says with a smirk, insulting the Loweean CPU.

"It's not that I have fewer shares. Lowee still has more brand-loyal followers than Lastation," Blanc retorts with an angry look.

"I notice you said 'still'… At least you admit that it's only a matter of time until I pass you," Noire confidently states.

"And they're arguing again..." James sighs at the situation not getting any better.

"Could you not twist my words to work them against me?" Blanc asks getting irritated with her.

"Hey, refresh my memory. What was that red binocular thing you put out that gave everyone migraines?" Noire continued on.

"Red binocular thing…? I swear I've heard of something like that before… Oi nerdy cunt do you know what it is?" Alex asks his friend hoping he has an answer to this.

"From the description Noire gave it sounds like VR… I would know because I had a set and it did give me headaches at first," James said while rubbing his forehead trying to think of what Noire was referring to.

He snapped his fingers "Oh! I remember now! It was years ago… Before we were born. The Virtual Boy. A device that was far ahead of its time," James finally recalling what the system was.

Neptune gave him a strange look and Blanc seemed surprised at what Noire had said.

"Th-That was…!" Blanc started.

"I heard it bombed pretty hard! You'd think someone in your R&D team would warn you beforehand, but hey," Noire said still smirking.

"Urgh… The concept was good, but… It...was just ahead of its time..." Blanc responds to the blow.

"And seriously, how long are you gonna cling to using cartridges? You're behind the times, not ahead. But I guess you've been a CPU for so long, it's only natural that you're stuck in the past!" Noire insults the Loweean CPU. Excuse me… But that's where you are wrong kiddo.

"Dammit, you jackass! If you wanna fight it out, I'm ready to rip out that poison tongue of yours!" Blanc responds angrily.

"Oi! Calm the fuck down! This isn't the time for your shitty bickering!" James yells as he hits the two on the head.

"Ow! Hey, what was that for?!" Noire shouts.

"You askin' for a fight?! Asshole!" Blanc says angrily holding her fist up.

Suddenly James just tilts his head slightly to the left with closed eyes and a very creepy smile.

"Whoa… Why do I feel like Sadie is here..." Neptune says as a shiver runs down her spine and she starts rubbing her arms as if it's cold.

"I said. Calm. Down. Do I make myself clear?" James says in a deadly tone.

"Eep!" Blanc immediately shuts up at the change in the air.

"Yikes!" Noire joins the Loweean CPU in shutting the fuck up.

"Good… Now apologise," James says with that same creepy smile.

"S-Sorry!" The two say to each other at the same time.

Suddenly the smile returns back to a neutral face and he looks completely normal…

Neptune whispers to the previously arguing girls "By all mean necessary we must keep him from bonding with Sadie… Like ever..." The two immediately shake their heads in agreement.

"Hey look! There's the Basilicom! C'mon lets get inside before something happens..." Neptune says rather quickly running ahead.

The 4 join up with her rather quickly and hastily make their way inside.

* * *

They made their way towards the living quarters inside the Basilicom and Neptune is the first to greet everyone.

"I'm home!" Neptune says aloud as she enters the room only to find the most strange situation.

Plutia is sitting on the ground with 3 children around her… But that ain't the strangest part… Maddy seems to be near her seemingly helping her with something…

"Welcome back, Neppy… You're sooooo late..." Plutia welcomes the girl back as everyone else follows inside.

The two boys instantly notice the 3 extra faces in the room and of course their friend who is smiling … Until she noticed the two boys and that smile immediately turned to a look of horror.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Noire kept begging me to stay with her," Neptune tells her fellow CPU. One of the children seems to be pulling on Plutia's dress in an attempt to get her attention.

"I told you not to word things in a way that'll cause misunderstandings!" Noire tells the girl.

"Hi," Blanc says simply with a wave.

"Noire and Blanny are here, too…! Welcome…!" Plutia greets the two yet completely forgets that two very important boys are in the room… Mostly because they are processing the situation right now and seem to be erroring.

One of the children looks like they are about to cry at the sudden arrival of everyone.

"Aww, it's okay… They aren't scaaaary girls..." Plutia says as she pats the head of the small child.

"Huh? Is she really going to cry?" Noire asks surprised not realising what is actually happening at all.

"I don't like crying kids," Blanc says. No one likes crying kids. Period.

"Hey, c'mon, gimme a smile!" Neptune says as she starts making silly faces and noises in an attempt to cheer up the kid.

The kid starts laughing at Neptune's antics. "Whew, that was a close one. She's all smiles again," Neptune says happily.

"Amaaaaazing… Neppy, you're a baby whisperer…!" Does no one fucking realise what the fuck is going on?!

"Y-You think so? I was just following my gut…" Neptune replies to the compliment.

"By the way, um, Plutia?" Noire looks towards the girl calling her name.

"Yeeeees?" She responds to her name being called.

"These miniature humans circling you..." Noire continues pointing to the children in the room.

"Huh? The baaaaabies…?" Plutia seems confused.

"Baby. A word used to denote one who was recently born into the world." No one fucking cares, Blanc.

"Uh-huh. Babies, you say..." Neptune agrees as their brains collectively start discerning the situation.

"I'm just gonna Michael Jackson my way out of here..." Alex says as he slowly backs up out the door but he never made it as he was immediately pulled back in by a certain friend of his.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!" The three girls shout all at once which seems to trigger one of the children to start crying.

"Aaah! No yelling, pleeeease..." Pluia asks the three girls.

"Of course we're going to yell! Plutie, when'd you pop them out?!" TMI! TMI! TMI! HELP ABORT ALL MISSIONS RIGHT NOW!

"Huuuuh?" Plutia seems confused at Neptune's words.

"Right! Why didn't you tell me? Whose are they?! Where's the dad?! … Wait don't tell me!" Noire asks looking directly at the only two males in the room.

The two look at each other with this knowing look before immediately attempting to bolt out of the Basilicom as fast as they can… Key word 'Attempt' Instead they were pulled back in by their female friend.

Both Noire and Blanc look at the two boys with a very angry look and seem to be ready to rearrange their faces.

"Ummmmmmmmmmm..." PREPARE THE FUCKING DEFENSES!

"Explain yourselves!" Noire says with a deadly smile to the two boys.

"Orkízomai óti den eímaste emeís!" James says in another language seemingly panicking at the sudden accusations.

"Ummm, everyone…?" Plutia tries to get the attention of the people currently accusing the poor lads.

"What is with all this noise? What kind of ridiculous antics have you all gotten into now?" Mini-Histy says as she enters the room.

"Mini-Histy! Thank goodness you're here! Please explain all of this!" Neptune says as she gestures to the children in the room.

"Yes! Please explain what is going on here!" Noire demands.

"And hurry before I lose my patience and rearrange _their_ faces..." Blanc says with a gesture to the two boys.

" _*sigh*_ Neptune, I recall explaining this to you already… (° д° |||)" Mini-Histy says with a sigh.

"What, Plutie's pregger production? _**(I'm fucking done…)**_ I didn't hear a single contraction about this!" Literally fucking done right now…send help.

"No, no. In response to the incidents of disappearing children, we are using the Basilicom as a daycare," Mini-Histy corrects the misunderstanding.

"Now that you mention it, I guess that does sound like something you said..." Neptune says nervously.

"So…they're not Plutie's kids?" Neptune asks.

"Noooope… I mean, I've never even held a boy's hand..." That's because the whip does the talking… Probably…

"Neptune being Neptune I can understand, but for Noire and Blanc to misunderstand… ( • . • ;)"

"W-Well, I knew it from the first second I walked in here. Neptune was falling for it real good, huh?" Noire said trying to cover up for herself… But no one believed it at all.

"What an embarrassing excuse," Blanc says with a light chuckle.

One of the children seems to have hit the other causing them to cry.

"Heeey! No bully!" the brown haired child calls out… rooBooli… No one will get that reference…

"No, no. You mustn't fight..." Plutia scolds(?) as the pink haired child jumps climbs onto her.

"No wunning away!" The blonde child proclaims as she also climbs onto Plutia…

"Do sumtin, Plutie!" The brown haired child asks as she climbs onto her aswell… Can I just say how adorable this is right now?

"Oh, noooo…! Don't pile on me all at once..." Yes! Continue to pile onto her my little minions! Make it so adorable that the viewer's face explodes!

"Looks pretty rough, Plutie. I doubt I could handle being a mommy or whatever," Neptune says which seems to get a slightly peeved look from the small fairy.

"Do not say such things. After all, Neptune, you will be helping us, as well. ( • A • *)" Mini-Histy tells the girl.

"Say whaaaaaat? I will?" Neptune asks surprised at what Mini-Histy was telling her.

"Of course. This is a Basilicom duty, so the CPUs must handle it." It was nice knowing you.

"Looks like it's a bad day to visit," Blanc says.

"Yeah, we're going to show ourselves out..." Noire agrees.

The two boys tried to leave again but once again were immediately brought straight back inside.

"You two will go nowhere. Got it?" Maddy says in a deadly tone to which the two agree very quickly.

"Noooo! Don't abandon me, you two! That's bad parenting!" Neptune says to the two girls as she does not want to be left alone with this duty.

"It's not abandonment. This is Planeptune's problem," Noire states.

"It has nothing to do with us," Blanc agrees with the Lastation CPU.

"Aww, come oooon, you two… Please help me…!" Plutia begs the girls.

"Ugh! D-Don't look at me like that! The impossible is impossible!" Then make it possible…

"I don't think I'd be of any help when it comes to looking after kids," Blanc states.

"But, but, but, sometimes dealing with these babies makes me soooo angry… I might even end up transforming..." Plutia complains which earns a shocked look on a lot of faces.

"What?! No! You absolutely cannot do that!" Noire immediately responds to such a possibility.

"That's way, way, way worse to show kids than any other terrible influences out there!" The internet is worse! Wayyyyyyyyy worse…

"They may undergo such a major trauma that it will scar them for the rest of their lives..." Blanc responds to the air-headed CPU.

"I knooooow… So help meeee..." Plutia continues asking for help from the 3 girls.

"We don't have a choice," Blanc says with a sigh.

"What a pain! Ugh! I'm only helping you today," Noire complains.

"The matter is settled, them. Thank you for your help, everyone," Mini-Histy says while bowing her head as the three girls sit down to help Plutia take care of the kids and while that happens…

"You two will help me with this. Understood?" Maddy asks in a deadly tone.

"Yes, Ma'am!" The two boys immediately reply.

* * *

 _ **Heyyyyyyyy I managed to get it done before I hit the sack… Neat.**_

 _ **For real though I was serious about earlier with the whole little speech I had… Thank you to those who have made it this far and have been enjoying this little side project in my life.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	23. Chapter 22

_**Chapter 22: This title is false.**_

* * *

After a "talk" everyone had agreed to help take care of the kids… They totally weren't forced or anything… Not at all…

Neptune and James were just studying two of the children and haven't actually done anything yet.

"Is it me or do they remind you of someone?" Neptune asks the boy standing next to her.

"It's not just you… I swear I've seen these kids before…but I can't put my finger on it..." James replies to the purple-haired girl.

The two just keep staring at the two children in question.

"Hmm, where have I seen these miniature humans? They look so familiar, but I can't figure it out..." Neptune says while cupping her chin.

James crouches down to get a better look at the kids "Hmm… You two," James begins getting the attention of the two kids "What are your names?" He asks.

"Good idea detective!" Neptune says as she crouches down next to him.

"IF," the brown-haired child answers with a smile.

"Compa," the pink-haired girl also answers with a smile.

 _ **"Vladimus Von Hack n Slash!"**_

"Be quiet author!" Fuck you.

"I see… IF and Compa… IF...and Compa..." Neptune says as she takes in their answers and starts processing everything.

3

2

1

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Neptune shouts in surprise at the sudden revelation to which Baby Compa starts crying.

"I nearly forgot about those two…wait..." error J4M35 has crashed… Attempting to reboot.

"Ahh! You made her cry!" Baby IF says in surprise at the outburst.

"Don't scream in front of babies," Noire scolds the loudmouth.

"But, but, but…! Those two are Iffy and Compa!" Neptune replies while Alex waves his hand in front of his friends face "You there? Hello?"

"Wowee-wow-wowsers! Iffy has a smart mouth even as a little baby, and a lot of Compa isn't gigantic yet!" You ever have that moment in life where you laugh while taking a drink and it ends up coming out your nose? This is one of them moments…

Compa continued to cry due to the loud noises "Haaaay! Stop bullying Compa, you big meanie!" This is the single most adorable thing I have ever seen in my entire life…

"Reboot successful… Loading files… execute confused_screaming. exe," James said in a monotone voice as he grabbed a nearby pillow and shoved it into his face and screamed as loud as his lungs would let him.

"Enough with the screaming already!" Noire huffs out.

"Please calm down, children. Neptune, do you know these two in your dimension? ( ° ▼° ;)" Mini-Histy asks.

"Yeah, we're best buddies! We're so close we could be considered mates of the soul! Wow, they were this cute as kids. Hey, can I take them back with me?" Neptune replies to the book fairy.

"Of course not! (¯¯□¯¯)" Mini-Histy replies as the screaming from a certain male finally subsides.

"My throat is dead…" James says in a raspy voice.

"Aww, dammit. I wanted to show them off to their adult versions… I bet they their reactions would be funny," Neptune complains while thinking about possible scenarios.

"I think my mental health just took a dive…" James complains as sits down on the floor with his face in his hands.

"Well then, I'll just have to enjoy the warm, squishy feeling of seeing them grow up into ladies!" Neptune says with a happy smile at the prospect while grabbing the two children and pulling them into a hug.

The blonde-haired child starts to pull on the poor lads pants "Play with Pea!" The young man removes his hands from his face to take a look at the child.

"Sorry kiddo… I'm busy processing everything right now, ask me later," He replies to the child but this doesn't make it any better instead the child starts hitting his leg with her tiny fists.

"Ow! Kid, stop it!" He scolds but it seems that the child just ignores him.

"No! Play with Pea!" The small child responds while continuing her assault.

"Can someone explain why this kid is attacking me?!" He asks aloud as he starts losing his patience.

"Wellllll, she doesn't like being ignored…" Plutia replies "Her name is Peashy, and she likes to plaaaaay..." Plutia continues with a smile.

"If I play with you will you stop attacking me?" The boy asks.

"Yaaay!" Peashy says with a smile as she stops attacking the poor lad.

"Mental note to future self: Don't have children..." James says with a sigh. Heh…

For the next few hours, they all spent time with the children playing with them and so on… Unfortunately for a certain male… He had it the worst. That kid can pack a fucking punch.

* * *

"So…exhausted… I feel like I'm going to die..." James complains as he drops himself next to his male friend on the couch.

"When they finally fell asleep it felt like the world was finally giving us a break..." Alex replied to his friend while his forearm covered his eyes.

"This is only the beginning," Maddy says with an evil smirk to which the boys both had a look of horror on their faces.

"Good work, everyoooone..." Plutia says with a smile.

Neptune, Blanc, and Noire all looked exhausted from the experience. "How aren't you exhausted…?" Noire asks the CPU.

"I knew it… I can't deal with kids..." Blanc says as she plops herself down on a chair. Children are evil, especially if they have older siblings… I wouldn't know though as I am the youngest, however, I still remember being a bit of a dick when I was a child.

The three seem to be talking in their sleep and they seem to be talking about Neptune…of all people.

"These miniature humans are so cute when they're asleep like this, but..." Neptune says. Cute until they start fucking crying…

"It sounds like all three are dreaming about you. I have no idea what they see in you," Noire says in response to the mumbling of the children.

"Probably because Neptune here, acts like a child..." James responded pointing towards the girl.

"That seems logical enough… I think," Noire replies to the lad's comment on how childish Neptune can be.

"You're all mean..." Neptune says in response to the comments about her.

"I need a nap…" Neptune says as she was about to plop onto the couch until Mini-Histy floated into the room.

"I-It is an emergency! Neptune, emergency! Σ(° д°|||)" Mini-Histy exclaimed as she had burst into the room.

"Shhhh… The babies are sleeping, so you have to be reeeeal quiet…" Plutia said while making a shushing motion with her finger.

"Oh… I am sorry… (; ¯¯д¯¯) But this is not the time for that! Please listen, Neptune!" Mini-Histy apologised before turning to face Neptune.

The male duo seemed to have perked up at the suddenness of Mini-Histy.

"I have this strange feeling… That something bad is going to happen," Alex says to his friend.

"I agree with you… It's like something is about to go horribly wrong and Neptune is involved..." James replied to his male companion.

"But Histy…I'm so tired right now. Tell you what _**(m8 you hand me your fury, then trade me again)**_ I'll listen to you loud and clear after I have a nap, okay?" Neptune complained.

"That is unallowable! You must listen to me NOW! ( ˋ □ ˊ )" Mini-Histy demanded while still panicking somewhat.

"If she's that panicked, it has to be important. Just hear her out," Noire tells the purple-haired CPU.

"Fiiiiine… So what's up?" Neptune reluctantly complied.

"O-Oh, right. Well… (¯¯□¯¯ ;) I have bad news, and worse news," Mini-Histy told the girl. And I have great news! …I actually don't have any news…

"Bad news first please!" Alex calls out from his seat.

"The bad news concerns all of you," Mini-Histy says gesturing to everyone in the room "There was something akin to a declaration of war sent to all three nations a moment ago. ( • ω • ;)" Oh shit! Are the lizards preparing to take over?! Code red: Prepare the fucking defenses.

"Defenses may take some time to prepare… But I don't think it's the lizards… At least not yet..." James answered. You may wonder… Why I use both 'Defence' and 'Defense' if not I'm telling you anyways. You see when I see 'Defence' I think of things like court of laws and shit or the skill in RuneScape, but when I see 'Defense' I think of things like barricades and turrets and other cool shit that would protect a place… The real answer is because it sounds better to say 'Defenses' over 'Defences' you cannot deny that.

"A declaration of war? Not pleasant news at all," Blanc says with a serious tone in her voice.

"Technically, it was something different. How do I say this… Someone wished to declare war, and so she wants you all to visit her nation," Mini-Histy continued.

"Her nation? Where is that? I haven't heard about a new nation being formed on this continent," Noire replies asking about the nation in question.

"Author you need some help..." Just because I have strange tastes and stranger thoughts, doesn't mean I need help! Sometimes I wonder who is the bigger asshole here…

"I feel bad for the author… He never gets a break from these people..." Maddy says with a sigh. Thank you!

"Correct, there has not. It was founded on an island nation south of here. It is called Leanbox," Mini-Histy answers the Lastation CPU.

James seems to bring out a blank piece of paper "Oh, that makes sense now… Says it right here in the script that this happens."

This is responded with a few glares and nervous looks. James turns the paper around revealing it to be completely blank "Calm down, I'm only joking… Party poopers..." He said muttering the last part to himself.

"Moving on… What's the worse news, Histoire?" Noire asks the book fairy.

"I received a transmission from the other dimension. I have the call placed on hold for now..." Mini-Histy answers the twin-tailed girl.

"And that's bad how? I don't see how that would be bad- Oh..." James says aloud realising what the news would be or at least having a general idea of what will happen.

"Wait… You know what it is don't you?" Alex asks his friend to which he nods "Well, don't leave me hanging here, tell me!" He asks to which James whispers what he thinks is about to happen.

"Oh… I see… It was bound to happen eventually," Alex said with a sigh.

"Hey! Don't leave me out of this! C'mon Histy, tell me what it is?" Neptune asks the small fairy.

"Well, Neptune… It seems the plan for returning you back home to your dimension has been prepared..." Mini-Histy said with a saddened look.

"..."

"..."

"..."

 _ **"…?"**_

"Can we stop with the dots, please? And the silence is killing me here so quit it," Neptune says breaking the silence.

 _"Can you all hear me?"_ Histoire asks from the other dimension to which everyone in the room nods.

 _"Good. Now then I need you to find a wide open area so we can open the portal,"_ she continues to which Mini-Histy motions the others to follow her.

* * *

Mini-Histy led them all to an open area just outside the Basilicom.

"All right. I have done as instructed and have moved to a wide, open area..." Mini-Histy says as the others follow her outside still being very silent…

Plutia is the first to speak up however she seems to have a sad look on her face "Neppy, are you really leaving…?"

"Um, well..." Neptune didn't know how to respond to this Noire, however, did "That's how things have to be. She's not from our world," even while saying that Noire had a saddened look as well.

"Aww, I don't want you to goooo… I'll be lonely without you..." Plutia complains. Doubt (x)

James puts his hand on her shoulder "She doesn't have a choice… From what she's told us, things aren't looking so great and as a CPU she needs to be there… We're all here for you as well." Even I can't be that nice… Okay, maybe I can… Nah, I'm a shitcunt.

"Huh…? You aren't going with Neppy…?" Plutia asks as she looks up the lad.

"I believe we all have some unfinished business here so we can't leave just yet..." He says with a small smile on his face.

 _"Ahem, If I may have everyone's attention… It took some time but I have discovered a way for Neptune to return home, And it is all because you have all worked very hard in that world,"_ Histoire says to the group of people.

 _"Unfortunately though the pathway is only big enough for one person… I am sorry you three, but you will have to find another way back,"_ Histoire continues with a slightly saddened look.

"Don't worry about it, we'll be fine…we need to finish some things up here anyway," Alex reassures the tome fairy.

 _"Give me a minute while I open the pathway..."_ Histoire tells Neptune who seems to have something on her mind "H-Hey, Histy! Uh..."

 _"Yes? What is the matter?"_ Histoire asks the girl who seems conflicted.

"Can I stay just a bit longer? I promise, only for a little bit!" Uhh… What?

 _"I'm sorry, what?"_ Oi! Who gave you permission to use the meme that was made about me among the lads!

"This girl..." James mutters as he drags his hand down his face. "I still got stuff to do here! The story cant end this early. So I cant abandon everyone now!" Neptune tells the other Histoire.

"You have Nepgear and the rest on your side, so I'm sure you'll be just peachy for a bit longer..." smh my head…

 _"I'm sorry Neptune, but that is not possible… Shares are dropping for each and every day that you are gone. If you pass on this opportunity, I cannot guarantee that there will ever be another one,"_ Histoire says to the CPU.

 _"I understand that it may be hard to say goodbye but we really need you here right now… Say your goodbyes for now while we open the portal, alright?"_

"Whelp, I guess this is goodbye… I really wish I could have stayed longer, but my people need me. I'm sorry, Plutie, Noire, Blanc…" Neptune says sadly as the two Histoire's work towards making a portal.

"Ugh, do you have to make it such a dramatic moment..." Noire says with tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

Neptune turns to face the OC trio "Take care of them for me please…?" She asked them to which they nodded with a smile.

A pillar of light suddenly appeared near Mini-Histy. _"Alright, Neptune, the path is now open, please enter the pillar of light,"_ Histoire instructed from the other side.

Neptune seemed to be contemplating and talking to herself until something happened on the other side… Now, what is it you may ask? It is none other than I! Dio! … Nah it's just Nepgear.

 _"Histoire! My big sister! Is Neptune really coming back?!"_ Oh boy… We're in for a ride, aren't we?

 _"No, Nepgear! D-Do not disturb this very sensitive process! I need to concentrate!"_ Histoire tells the candidate on the other end.

 _"Oh, wowee, what's this light? Is this where she's coming from?!"_ Nepgear asks from the other end.

"Why do I get the feeling we're going from 'worse' to 'fuck what now?'" James says with a concerned look.

"It's not just you… I feel it too," Alex answers his friend.

Something seems to be happening on the other end and we can't see what it is…but something is happening. _"I said to stop! Please, stay back!"_ Histoire cries out from the other end.

"Huh? Histy, what's the deal? I hear some screams and whatnot," Neptune asks the oracle of her nation.

 _"Th-There is a slight problem… Oh, my. This is why I had tried to keep this plan confidential…"_ Key word 'tried'.

 _"Neptune! Hey, can you hear me?!"_ Nepgear calls out to her sister from the other side "I know that spoiling voice! It's Nep Jr.!" Neptune says in surprise at her sister appearing on the scene…phone line?

 _"I don't see her. Where is she?!"_ Nepgear asks the tome fairy from the other side.

"This is going to turn into a big clusterfuck? Ain't it?" Alex asks the girls and single male nearby to which they all sigh minus Plutia… I can't tell what goes on in her head.

 _"I told you not to go near that…! No, do not lean into the pillar!"_ Histoire warns(?) (Scolds?) (Help…?) From the other side.

Noire walks over to Neptune to see what's going on "So...what's the holdup?" She asks "Uh, I really don't know… I think my sister is doing something…" Neptune answers the tsun.

"Really? Ugh, this kind of ruins the atmosphere. Move, let me see," Noire says pushing Neptune aside.

 _"Huh? Uh-oh! I think I'm getting sucked iiiiiiin!"_ Nepgear yells from the other side.

 _"Nepgear? Nepgear!"_ With added exclamation to make it sound more dramatic! I'm not sorry…

The pillar of light then vanished which surprised Noire, however, a few people in the area seems to have understood what's going on…

"We have reached 'Fuck, now what?' Congratulations..." James says with a sigh.

"The pillar of light vanished. Histoire, what's going on?" Noire asks.

Neptune grabs Mini-Histy and moves away from Noire… Everyone just takes a huge step back away from Noire…

"Huh? Why's everyone moving away from me?" Noire asks confused as to what is happening.

A loud shriek from the sky grabs a lot of attention from the party of people… It was nice knowing you Noire. -.-7.

"Huh? This feeling of dread… I know this sensation from somewhere..." Oh, I bet you do, Noire… I bet you do.

"Move, move, move… Pleeeeease!" A voice shouts from the sky… A familiar voice.

Noire finally remembers why she felt this way "Yeah, that's right. I heard a shout from above me back then, too… That's when Neptu-" Noire was cut off as a figure crashed right into her.

The figure is revealed to be none other than… Nepgear! You probably expected this… If you didn't we need to talk.

"Oh, boy. It's Nep Jr," Neptune says nervously at the appearance of her younger sister.

"Huh? N-Neptune?! I...I found you! I've missed you so, so much!" Nepgear exclaims in happiness and some tears… She doesn't notice it! Continue on.

"Hello there…" James greets to which his idiot of a friend just looks at him seriously "General Kenobi…" Did you just fucking do that? You fucking legend…

"That's sweet, kiddo. I've missed you too, and I'm happy and all that, but this situation is…" Neptune says as she scratches the back of her head.

 _"Oh, my. This is terrible… That particular pathway could only be opened one time! Now I have lost not only Neptune, but also Nepgear..."_ Could it really though? I seriously doubt that knowing this series…

"Neptune… Neptune…! NEPTUNE!" SHUT UP ALREADY WE FUCKING GET IT!

"I know, I know. There, there. Try to calm down, okay?" Neptune consoles her sister.

"This is entire scene is messed up now..." Blanc gives her input on the current situation.

"You're telling me? I don't know how this could possibly get any worse…wait, no there are ways..." James responds to the Loweean CPU.

"Goodness, you look JUST like Blanc! _**(… Should I tell her? Nah…)**_ Oh and hello to you, James," Nepgear greets as she looks at the others in the room making eye contact with Plutia "You must be Plutia, right? I'm Nepgear, Neptune's little sister," Nepgear introduced herself to the alternate Planeptune CPU.

"Yeeeeep, I'm Plutia… Let's be frieeends..." Plutia greeted with a friendly smile. DON'T LET HER LOOKS DECEIVE YOU!

"Before we continue introductions, let's deal with...that..." Blanc says as she gestures to the 'scene' … Poor Noire.

"That? Oh, oopsies! Did I fall on something important…?" Obligatory meme incoming! Not really but I don't give a shit.

 ** _"OOPSIE WOOPSIE! Uwu We made a fucky wucky! A wittle fucko boingo! The code monkeys at our headquarters are working VEWY HAWD to fix this"_**

"Was that really necessary?" James… My boy, one day you will understand that memes transcend everything.

"Stop having long-winded conversations when sitting on top of someone!" Noire yells from under Nepgear to which she immediately removes her ass from the poor girl's body.

"What the goodness?! I-I'm sorry! ...Oh, it's Noire!" Nepgear apologises as she also greets the angry tsun.

"Don't "what the goodness" me!" Noire responds harshly at the poor girl "What is up with you sisters?! It's like you were both aiming for me or something!" Noire complains.

"There, there. Consider yourself the super popular Noire brand that all falling people trust to land on!" Oh, fuck really?! Sweet?! Wait…she might die if I fell on her…

"To be fair… She was basically screaming 'land here' by not moving away when we all had moved," Alex gives his input on the situation.

"Silly Noire, you're soooo clumsy…!" Plutia says to the poor girl.

"Why are you making me sound like the idiot here?!" Noire shouts at being referred to as an idiot.

"Um, I really am sorry! I didn't fall on you on purpose, I promise..." Nepgear apologised...again.

"If you had, things would NOT end well for you!" Noire warns the poor girl.

 _"Pardon me, everyone… This is really not the time for so much back-and-forth..."_ Histoire says grabbing the attention of the people.

"I agree. So what're you going to do now?" Blanc asks the other Histoire.

 _"I am uncertain. For the time being, let us calm down and continue to discuss our options inside,"_ Histoire told the group of people.

 ** _"But not right now of course… Chapter is over people!"_**

"Whaaaaaaaaat?! No waaaaay…" Neptune shouts in surprise.

"B-But I just reunited with my sister..." Nepgear says saddened.

 ** _"No buts! You'll have to wait til next week!"_**

"Alright, then..." Nepgear says saddened.

"Cheer up Jr. it won't take that long!" Neptune reassures her sister.

* * *

 _ **YES, IT WILL!**_

 _ **Chapter is over now hope you all enjoyed it this week… See you next one!**_

 _ **Also 1.5k views... Neato.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	24. Chapter 23

_**First thing's first.**_

 _ **I see you are a fellow connoisseur of crayons, too Mr. Mgasmsms. rooVV.**_

 _ **Chapter 23: If you stand alone you are a btw.**_

* * *

After the abrupt ending of the previous chapter, everyone had moved back inside and into Plutia's room where the kids are.

When Nepgear entered the room she was greeted with the adorable faces of 3 children.

"...Who dis?" Baby IF asks confused at the newest arrival.

"Sumbunny I dunno..." Baby Compa answers not recognising the face of Nepgear.

"O-Oh my goodness! Are these babies IF and Compa!? They're super-duper cute…!" Nepgear exclaims as she revels in the adorableness of the two children.

"Hehehe. Hewwo!" Peashy greets waving her tiny arms with a smile on her face.

"Why, hello! I'm Nepgear. Nice to meet you," Nepgear introduces herself.

"Anyone else just waiting for Peashy to do what Peashy does best?" Alex whispers to the rest of the group who is behind Nepgear.

His response is a few sighs and nods and a chuckle from his male companion a very evil chuckle! I approve.

"Gear?"

"Ge-Ge…?"

"Nepgoo! Goo-gee!" I LOVE THIS KID ALREADY! In all seriousness… rip her name.

"Don't play with the babies now," Noire scolds as everyone actually moves into the room instead of standing at a safe distance.

"What's the situation?" Noire asks the other Histoire.

" _That pathway could only be travelled by one person, and only one time,"_ Histoire answers _"Had Neptune used it, that would have been the end of it..."_ She continues.

"So basically, due to Nepgear's interference, they are both stuck here until further notice. Have I got that right?" Maddy speaks up.

"Hehehehe… I'm really sorry..." Nepgear apologises while laughing nervously.

"Too late for apologies. What's done is done," James tells her.

"I thought this last time I saw you, but Neppy Jr., you look waaay more like the older sister than Neppy..." Plutia says.

"She even acts like the older sibling… Unlike someone else here who is so lazy it's not even funny," James gives his input while glaring at a certain CPU.

"I don't know why you're looking at me… hahahaha..." Neptune says with a nervous laugh.

"You know exactly why I'm looking at you," James mutters.

"Stop with the casual chit-chat! Geez, both of you sisters fail to feel any shame for your actions! And you!" She points directly at James "Do you have no sense for serious situations and atmospheres?"

"That is completely correct!" He answers with a smile.

"Oh..." Nepgear don't let her words get to you.

"Hey, it wasn't my bad this time," Neptune complains.

" _There is no time for this… I must find a way to make a path so that two may cross,"_ Histoire tells them all.

" _But if word gets out that both of Planeptune's CPUs are missing, how long will gathering enough shares take?"_ A long fucking time.

"In other words..." Noire began knowing that her fate is one of pain and suffering.

" _Yes… I must ask that you please look after Neptune...and Nepgear...for a while longer,"_ Histoire tells the poor girl.

"Yeah, I figured as much..." This is only the beginning HAHAHAHA!

"Goodieeee…! We still get to be together…!" Plutia says happily at the prospect of spending more time with Neptune.

"Yep! One way or another, it's all thanks to my little sister!" Neptune says happily.

"Hehehe. It was nothing, really..." No, it was a lot…

"I think it's more along the lines of 'it's all my little sister's fault' instead of 'thanks to her'," Blanc gives her input.

"Hehe… That's true, too..." Nepgear says looking a little downtrodden.

"It's water under the bridge now… As long as you're here, you'd best work even harder than before!" Noire tells the younger girl.

"You both need to collect as many shares as possible if you want to go back home," Noire tells the two CPUs from the other dimension.

"Yep! I'll work harder than hard! Leave the working to me!" Neptune exclaims.

"I'll do my best to help out, too! I'll do anything!" Nepgear says.

" _All right. Then I shall end this transmission. We have talked for quite a long time… I will contact you again when some progress has been made..."_ Histoire says with a sigh as she ends the call.

"Phew. That was a long call, indeed. I am quite tired… My apologies, but I must go rest for a while," Mini-Histy says as she proceeds to exit the room.

"Sweet dreeeeams..." Plutia says to the tiny fairy.

"Let's shelf this matter for now. We've got another task at hand," Noire says referencing the whole war declaration thing.

"You mean Leanbox. I never thought a nation would be founded beyond our continent's borders," Blanc says in slight surprise.

"Leanbox? That's Vert's..." Nepgear began but she was quickly shushed by Neptune.

"Shhhh. We can't spoil it for them, understand?" Well, you can…but they may not like it.

"O-Oh… I'm sorry…I think?" Nepgear apologises.

"No need for apologies," James says as he puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Since she invited us over, I'll take this opportunity to see who she is, face-to-face," Noire says with a slight smirk.

"How about you all?" Noire asks the rest of the group.

"We agree for once. It's probably a trap, but if we go in expecting that, we can keep the advantage," Blanc says in agreement. Not really how it works but okay…

"I'll be joining because I want to see Leanbox," Alex states.

"Guess I'll go too to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid," Maddy says with a sigh.

"As much as I don't want to, I'll stay behind and look after the kids," James says as he takes a seat.

"It's decided, then. Come on, Plutia and Neptune. Hurry up and get ready," Noire asks the two Planeptune CPUs.

"What is this betrayal! We didn't even get to give our own input and stuff..." Neptune says in surprise at being dragged into this.

"No faaaaair, you decided it all on your own..." Plutia complains.

"Even if we asked, you'd force a joke or act like an airhead… It's just a waste of our time!" Noire says angrily.

"What?! Don't call my progressive and carefully researched jokes forced! Such cruelty!" Neptune shouts.

"If you have to research a joke… It was never meant to be funny," Alex tells the girl.

"Hey, ummmm… What's an airhead?" Plutia asks confused.

"It means you are always you, and are never influenced by others," Blanc answers with a smile.

"Oooooh. Okay, that's me…!" It wasn't a compliment Plutia…

"Um, excuse me… I don't really know the situation, but what should I…?" Nepgear was about to ask until Baby IF started pulling on the poor girl's hair.

"Ouchies! S-Stop! Don't tug on other people's hair!" Telling a child to stop will only make them want to do it more, Nepgear.

"Don' care! Yoink!" Children are fascinating creatures… When they aren't being annoying.

"Ge-Ge… Wet's pway dokturr!" Baby Compa says holding a tiny syringe.

"Hmm? W-Wait, that syringe is just a toy, right…?" 'Yes' 'Yes (lie)' Choose wisely.

"Nep-punch!" Peashy shouts as she punches the poor candidate as hard as she can.

"Am I finally free of the pain and suffering of that child?" James asks while looking towards the roof.

"Blargh! Ooh… Y-You shouldn't hit people in the solar plexus..." Nepgear says in pain.

"Your sister is getting pushed around by babies," Noire says to the elder CPU.

"Nep Jr. isn't the type to get mad or say no," Neptune answers the tsun.

"That explains why you're the way you are," Blanc says with a quiet laugh.

"Shouldn't you all get going?" James asks the group.

"But what about the babies…?" Plutia asks completely. And this is why you're an airhead.

"Don't worry about it I got this… hopefully," James answers the air-headed girl.

"Oh… okaaaay," Plutia says with a smile.

"C'mon let's go," Noire says as she leaves the room gesturing for the others to follow.

"C'mon Nep Jr. we got a date to keep with Leanbox!" Neptune says happily as she follows Noire out the door gesturing for her little sister to come with her.

"Huh? Ge-Ge can' pway wit' us?" Baby Compa says confused as to why the candidate has to go.

"Sorry kiddos, but Gear will be gone for a bit but don't worry I'll play with you all while she's out," James reassures the kids.

The rest of the group followed Noire out while the lad _willingly_ babysits the children. Keyword 'willingly' I am not responsible if he dies.

* * *

 _ **Short chapter today because I said so… The next will be mostly following the rest of the group up until the fun stuff happens.**_

 _ **On another note… Surprised? That I completely disregarded some things from the original? I generally will attempt to keep with the story but I wanted some spicy things to happen so instead of Gear getting left behind she actually gets to go with them.**_

 _ **Although I'm thinking I might dedicate a good deal of the next chapter to what the main lad did while the rest went to Leanbox.**_

 _ **See you on Friday.**_

 _ **~Ant**_

 _ **P.S EatDaCrayon!**_


	25. Chapter 24

_**… I have nothing for this… sorry, it wasn't longer… the whole no sleep just fucked me up hard.**_

 _ **Chapter 25: Wait a second… something ain't right here.**_

* * *

The group was making their way through another fucking dungeon. What the fuck is going on! This is the 9th god damn dungeon this fic. I'm putting up clear pathways that lead you directly to where you want to go. Props to anyone who knows this reference kinda.

"So, uh, we'll be in Leanbox after we cut through here, right?" Neptune asks.

"Of course not. It's across the sea, so it'd be pretty hard to get there on foot," Noire tells the girl. Have you tried?

A loud scream echoed across the world.

"What was that?" Alex asked.

"It's nothing, carry on," Maddy answered. Yes, Ma'am!

"Okay then… So how will we get there?" Neptune asked while thinking of a way to cross the border… I mean ocean "Oh! I know! Maybe we should swim!" That's a brilliant idea!

"If you want to try it, go ahead," Noire told the girl.

The scream echoed across the world once again.

"There it is again! Did you hear that?" Alex asked to which he got some shrugs.

Ignore the screaming boy… It's only the pain and suffering of someone who has to babysit some intriguing children. Another reference for nerds like me… Or people who have good memory of dialogue.

"Why don't we just fly there?" Nepgear asked.

"It would just be a hassle to do so. Another thing I should mention is that we would have to carry you there and frankly I don't think we need the extra cargo," Noire tells the candidate.

"You've been awfully rude lately. You get something stuck up your ass or something?" Alex says the tsundere CPU of Lastation.

"That doesn't make what you just said any nicer than how I'm acting!" She shouts back at him.

"Sorry the only 'Nice' in my mental dictionary is when I see something pretty nice, thank you very much," Alex retorted.

"If I may pitch in. The request stated that Leanbox would have a boat prepared for us," Blanc told the group. Really? It did? I don't remember this… Or the lack of sleep is just getting to me.

This statement didn't make Nowa any happier "You're kidding me. If she's going through that much trouble, she should come see us herself," Noire said in anger. Where's the fun in that?

"Oh, I get it now." Oh, do you? "Noire's all hissy-pissy because she doesn't like the other person's attitude," Neptune says. I think that was the intention…

"Don't take it out on uuuuus..." Plutia complained.

"Shut up, the both of you. _**(no u**_ _ **)**_ I can never take you two seriously." That's just being a dick, and I know a lot about being a dick… This was an insult to my very serious asshole behaviour.

"Keep acting like that and you'll start getting negative friends," Alex told the girl.

"How would that even be possible?" Noire questions. Oh, you would find a way, trust me.

"Ugh! Enough of this nonsense. Let's keep moving!" Noire says as she moves on.

They kept traversing whatever place they are traversing… Look the background is a fucking dungeon background I don't fucking remember the scene and I don't think I have a save that far back! Okay, I probably do but… Fuck no.

Whatever, they're at the fucking ocean the fuck am I even doing anymore…

"Whoah, the ocean just popped up!" Neptune exclaimed as she eyed the scenery seeing a decently large boat.

"Is that our boat?" Neptune asked.

"Looks like it. There doesn't seem to be a crew, though…" Noire said noticing the lack of people.

"Whaaaaat? But I dunno how to sail a boat..." Very carefully, Plutia. Very carefully.

"It could be on auto-pilot," Nepgear exclaimed.

"So we just hop on and it takes us to where we need to go?" Alex asked.

"Well, if I were to set a trap, I would definitely set it up here," Noire exclaimed carefully eyeing the boat. Pfft no… that's a dumb idea. If I were to set up a trap it would be a fuck ton of explosives the moment you fucking arrived, Also I'd do some other crazy shit with some spikes or whatever.

"If that's the case then we'd really have to swim to leanbox," Blanc said with a hint of anger. Just fucking fly!

"So since we're taking a boat… Does that mean I am authorised to be the ocean man?" Alex asked. I fucking love this cunt!

"No! We do not need to hear that shit right now. Although I'm not stopping you if you do it… You might get thrown overboard though," Maddy tells him. Do it! Do it for Ween!

And thus began the boat journey towards Leanbox… Halfway there he actually fucking sang Ocean Man, the legend fucking did it… Blanc threw him overboard though… Didn't stop him from singing though because the boat was slow as shit so he just swam.

I wonder how the main fucker is doing… Let's go check on him!

* * *

In Planeptune's Basilicom we find a certain male on the floor with three children sitting on his back. He's probably dead… Rest in rip, never forgit ;-;7.

"H...el..p… m...e." Shhh, you hear nothing… Just let the soothing sound of my voice(?) calm you.

"Fu...c...k y...ou." Quiet you shithead! And don't swear in front of… Oh…they're asleep.

Ahem! We're done here, he's dead.

* * *

The party arrived in Leanbox albeit one member is soaked…

"We arrived without incident..." Noire said in surprise.

"Fuck you we did!" Alex shouted while water drips from his everything.

Needless to say, he was promptly ignored.

"Right. No traps. Leanbox must be confident," Blanc said in surprise as well. Well why would she use traps, that's fucking gay… No? … Tough crowd…

The Planeptune natives were not paying any attention whatso-fucking-ever…

"Plutie, check out that restaurant! You can buy slabs of questionable meat stuck between slices of bread!" Yes, Neptune… It's called fast food… Well, at least I hope it is.

"Wooooooow… They're soooo big… I could never eat the whole thing..." Neptune probably could… Girl is a black hole when it comes to food.

"I wonder what kind of technology Leanbox uses…" Nepgear said happily as she eyed the area in hopes of seeing some kind of tech-related store.

"Let's go explore and find some cool things in Leanbox! Like video game stores or whatever!" Neptune said as she proceeded to run off with Plutia and Nepgear following behind.

"Wait you two! We're not here to explore!" Noire shouted as she ran after them.

"This'll be fun," Alex said smirking.

After about half an hour of chasing what is basically a fat kid in a cookie store, they finally make their way towards the Basilicom. Now I want cookies!

When they entered the room they were told to meet… the sight was… Sorry, I just vomited a little in my mouth.

"Hmm… This is..." Don't look at them! Stray your eyes away my dear Nowa!

"Leanbox's Basilicom, I take it?" We don't need to mention what the hell is here… Just no…

"I'm going to need some eye bleach…or a spoon…" Alex, I think I need the eye bleach too… If you want a spoon I can get you one.

"It's surprisingly similar to the one back home..." Nepgear says nervously.

"What IS all this junk?! It's like a big amusement park!" Noire said angrily.

"Good to know that Vert is no different here…" Neptune said with a slightly disturbed look?

She immediately brightened up at the sight of the massive library of games "Whoah, there are a lot of games! Well, actually, I think there's nothing BUT games in here…" Games no one needs to fucking see.

She approached a bookcase filled with game consoles "Is that a lineup of consoles? Sweet! This whole bookcase is full of nothing but game systems…!"

"Heeeeey, why is the boy on that poster not wearing any clothes?" Plutia asks pointing to the poster. AVERT YOUR FUCKING EYES CHILDREN! AVERT THEM AND GET THE FUCKING BLEACH AND KEROSENE AND A LIGHTER!

"Gaaah! C-Cover your eyes!" Noire shouts a little embarrassed at the sight.

"This is where a so-called sacred CPU conducts her business…?" Blanc says with a hint of anger.

"Hmhmhmm. I see that you are all quite impressed by the splendor of my Basilicom," A familiar new voice says.

"That voice…!" Noire had said in recognisation of said voice.

"Thank you, CPUs of the other nations, for coming here today," Vert says as she greets the party of people.

"Wait, you're… Vert…!" Yay… you got it… No one fucking cares, Noire.

"Which means, you're this nation's…?" Blanc said in realisation.

"Wow. Bravo. Slow clap. You got the damn power co- Whoops wrong dialogue," Alex began but suddenly stopped to clean up his act.

"Wow! I'm super impressed! I did not see this coming!" He said in a more monotone voice.

"Oh. My. Science. Impossible. Like, seriously. Vert's the CPU of Leanbox? My mind is blown," Neptune said in fake surprise with a smug look.

"Neppyyyy, you don't sound as surprised as you're saying..." Plutia said slightly confused.

 _ **"(visible confusion)"**_

"I know… I figured I'd try to play along," Neptune replied to the curious CPU.

 _ **"A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON!"**_

"Fuck up. We don't need that shit here." Rood.

"As I thought. Planeptune's CPUs show only a lukewarm reaction," Vert said in a low tone "But it seems that those two are properly shocked by my big reveal,"

 _ **"Doing some building eh?"**_

"I swear I will castrate you." Whoa, calm down there… I'm just memeing it up because this is what's happening right now.

"I mean, sure, we're surprised that the CPU, but more importantly..." Noire began.

"What the hell is up with this place?" Blanc asked.

"Hmm? Is something problematic here?" Vert asked.

 _ **"Everything here is problematic. I need some fucking eye bleach!"**_

"I can't find a part that isn't!" Noire says.

Neptune's just admiring random shit that no one cares about.

"What's a...BL-CD game? Oooooh… The two boys on the jewel case are about to kiss, I thiiiink..." I just vomited a little in my mouth.

 _ **"Alright so here's the plan. We sneak in at night and burn everything that should be kept from the eyes of the people. Good plan great plan."**_

"I 200% am on board with this plan!" Alex says pumping his fist.

"Dumbasses! Stop screwing around!" Blanc shouts in anger.

"Hey! I told you to stop, didn't I?!" Noire shouts with a hint of red on her face. Someone delete my memory of this event.

"Yeeeeeeh… Sorry..." Plutia apologises.

"There's more cool stuff in here than in a refrigerator! It's a lot more retro than my Vert's room, honestly," Neptune gives her piece.

"Hmhmhmm. As usual, you are all quite spirited. Now then, one more time, for formality's sake..." I don't think anyone cares.

"I am Vert, the CPU of Leanbox. I apologise for keeping my identity a secret before." THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES IN IT! APOLOGISE AGAIN!

"so I assume your visit to Lowee was an act of espionage by a competing CPU?" Blanc says with a hint of anger.

"That is a satisfactory deduction. You are not as dull as I had thought," Vert responds to the elder CPU in a condescending tone.

"I don't like that condescending tone… You're too cocky..." I agree she is being cockier than Noire.

"Confident, aren't you? You called us here even after sneaking into Lowee and seeing what we're capable of," Noire responds rather harshly.

"Another excellent deduction! How unexpected. I had honestly thought you all lacked intellect." Nope, just Neptune, Alex, and Plutia.

"The only idiots are those 3!" Noire, Blanc, and Maddy say at the same time gesturing to the 3 stooges themselves.

"Wowee, perfect harmony..." Plutia said.

"They're only in sync when it comes to putting us down," Neptune replied.

"I gladly accept being called an idiot!" Alex said with pride.

"Shut it, you three. If you don't, we apparently get lumped in with your idiocy," Noire told the three.

"I don't see how that's my fault," Neptune said not seeing how that works.

"Noire, you're being soooo mean..." Plutia complained.

"Whatever the case, calling all of the CPUs here is getting a bit carried away, no?" Blanc asked.

"I'll snap that nose of your face so you can't look down at us again!" Whoa there Blanny, calm the fuck down.

"My, such a barbaric threat. Calm yourself. I don't particularly enjoy violence, myself," Vert tells the angry CPU.

"The hell? So you picked a fight with us, but you're just gonna run away?" Blanc asked.

"I am not picking a fight," Vert said with a smile "I simply plan to take every share available on your continent in a fair manner."

"Meaning?" Noire asked to which Vert replied with a smirk "It means I do not even have to fight you to achieve that goal."

"When I release Leanbox's newest piece of hardware, the people will flock to me naturally." Unless it's more powerful than a 1080ti, I'm not interested.

I don't think this next set of dialogue is very important… I don't do this kind of shit… Let's just say things got very heated and could have resulted in a lot of structural damage and potential rearranging of faces…

Move along people nothing to see here.

After the 'Incident' the party left the Basilicom and just decided to fly back this time…

* * *

 _ **Alright, we're done here. Don't want this to be too long because I'm tired as fuck because I didn't get any sleep.**_

 _ **Thank you for reading. See you next week.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	26. Chapter 25

_**Chapter 24: I FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS WRONG!**_

* * *

After a short flight, the party had made it back to the Basilicom and what a scene they found…

There was a piece of paper on the back of the boy who was watching over the children who currently was lying on the floor face down and very motionless.

"Here lies James, shitposter supreme and asshole among his friends..." Neptune read out.

"Well guess he's dead… I call dibs on his computer!" Alex said.

"Fuck off you ain't getting my computer!" James immediately responded as he stopped his little acting session or whatever.

"Darn, he's not actually dead," Alex complained.

"So where are the kiddos?" Neptune asked to which the boy responded by pointing to the three babies all sleeping together on the couch.

"Aww, they're so adorable together..." Neptune exclaimed admiring the scene of adorableness.

"More like living demons..." James muttered.

"So what happened at Leanbox?" He asked.

"You really don't need to know… Other than that, Vert basically talked out her ass saying how she will steal all the shares through the console she's releasing," Alex answered him.

"Oh well, that's just disappointing…" He said in response.

"I'm guessing you're all returning to your own nations?" Maddy asked to which Blanc, and Noire nodded.

"I need to get back and start working on promoting my own hardware so no one will want to buy Leanbox's!" Noire said with a somewhat determined look.

After the short discussion, the two CPUs took off and left the rest of the party to themselves.

"Alright, who's up for gaming til this whole thing blows off?" Neptune asked.

"Fuck yeah I am! I haven't had a good gaming day in ages!" James said happily as he went to turn the television on.

* * *

About a week later… They have literally done nothing but take care of the kids, be lazy, and play games for a week… I'm not impressed considering my lifestyle is playing games literally 90% of the week.

The other CPUs were also over for a visit.

Nepgear came in with a platter that held teacups and a pot.

"I've prepared tea for everyone," Nepgear said as she set the platter down on the table.

"If it ain't coffee it ain't worth my time," James states. My man! Coffee over tea. Fight me.

"Oh, thanks," Noire thanked the candidate as she took a cup for herself.

"Nepgear's a sensible and good girl. Even though my first impression of her was...that." What? Noire I don't understand what 'that' is.

"Hard to believe she's Neptune's little sister. Even though my first impression of her was...that." Don't you fucking start too, Blanc!

"She is detail-oriented and very responsible. Even though my first impression of her was...that. (¯ – ¯)" I swear… You people just love messing with me…

"But...I've apologized for that so many times now! Please forget it ever happened!" Sorry, but once it's on the internet it can never leave. No exceptions.

"Everyone's finally recognising her good qualities. That's good news for her loud and proud big sister!" Neptune says happily.

"Aww, you're soooo lucky… I want a little sister, too…" I would love to have a younger sibling… Too bad I only got 3 older sisters… Still love em though.

"Heh, too bad. I can't give Nep Jr. away, not even to you," Neptune tells her fellow Planeptune CPU.

"I don't think I'd want to have any big sister other than Neptune..." I'll never understand why though…

"Okay, let's cut the chatter. How are your nations? It's been a whole week since the Leanbox meeting," Noire asks cutting straight to the point.

"A considerable amount of Leanbox hardware has been imported into the gray market, but it had no impact," Blanc says as she takes a sip from the tea.

"Planeptune has experienced the same thing. No real impact… Which is surprising considering the 'work' they do," Mini-Histy responded looked directly at the CPUs in question.

Neptune just turned her head and whistled aloud, whereas Plutia seemed confused.

"At least Nepgear and Maddy helped unlike those 4..." Mini-Histy said still slightly irritated that they spent all week playing games… Who can blame 'em? Well, the boys at least…

"I see. My nation experienced the same, as well. I had my citizens engage in some market research, too. They said the launch lineup was sparse and the discs would get scratched during normal use. All complaints," Noire responded to the others. All discs got scratched like that back then… Seriously I could probably count every scratch on my old PS2 games.

"In Lowee, everyone said the console was way too bulky. Especially the controller. People couldn't hold it," Blanc gave her input. And in 2018 I would argue they have the most comfortable controllers.

"Um, I'm not exactly sure I understand, but in Planeptune…" Nepgear began. I don't like where this is going…

"Many people were of the opinion that smaller is better. Or small things are...um, 'justice'..." Stop! STOP! Nonono! We do not need to know this kind of information.

"Smaller's better, they say! That's lookin' good for you, Blanc!" Neptune says with a smile.

"We're discussing hardware, right? Why would you turn the conversation over to me like that, huh?!" Blanc asks angrily.

"In the end, Leanbox was all bark and no bite. I feel kind of dumb for getting panicked at all..." Noire says.

"Yeah, I'd never lose to some dumb woman who's only big in one place," Blanc says still angry. Do I even respond to this?

"I figured something like this would happen. It was Vert, after all," Neptune says.

"Yuuuuup… It was Vert, after all..." Plutia agrees. How would you even know that?

"You're really ripping on her, huh? Our dimension's Vert is quite strong when she's serious. I think. Maybe," Nepgear says.

"Ladies!" Oh hi, Vert!

"So this is what Vert looks like..." James mutters observing the arrival of the CPU.

"How dare you do this to me! Using such underhanded tactics…!" Vert says angrily.

"Your greetings are always so kind. What're you blaming us for now?" Noire says a little angry that the CPU is here.

"Feigning ignorance, are you?! To go out and give my console such a horrid reputation…!" Prove it.

"Horrid, huh? You mean the actual things our people are complaining about at this very moment?" Blanc responds.

"Precisely! I cannot accept that MY hardware would garner so much unwarranted criticism..." Vert says angrily.

"It must be because you all started a smear campaign against me! What else explains the negativity?!" A lot of things.

"Smeeeeear…?" Plutia responded in confusion.

"I'm just gonna say that we had nothing to do with this. Research it yourself if you don't believe me," Noire responds. Pfft! Who does research anymore.

"Ridiculous. These are the excuses of a sore loser," Blanc says not happy with the CPU.

"Hmm? None of you did anything? But it's incredibly popular in my own nation… So why…?" Because other nations might you know… Have different interests? You know what I ain't even gonna argue this…

"People are free to like or dislike whatever they want." Though you might get judged for this… I can see many people judging my tastes.

"Do we get involved? No, wait… Let's just let them continue," Alex says.

"Leanbox's hardware doesn't meet the needs of this continent's people. It's just too bulky," Blanc continues.

"I-Impossible! Whether it is one's hardware or bust size, bigger is always better, is it not?" I will not comment on this… I am a man of culture.

"Bust size… You finally come clean and admit it's all about your damn tits, huh?!" This went south fast.

Blanc then transforms immediately out of anger. "Let's rumble! Now! If you don't defend yourself, you're going to get crushed!"

"Aaah! Please do not go ballistic in our Basilicom! (¯¯□¯¯;) _! !_ " Continue for my entertainment.

"Eat an icicle or something, Blanc! Your boiling point is way too low," Neptune tells the angry CPU.

"Aww, that's soooo nice… She can transform whenever she wants… I wanna transform, too..." SOUND THE ALARMS QUICKLY! DO NOT LET HER TRANSFORM!

"No! Absolutely not!" Noire immediately denied.

"Fine. If you intend to go that far, then we shall indeed settle this!" Oh is it finally time?!

"Time for what, author dude?" Neptune asks.

 _ **"Time for a fucking crusade."**_

"Deus Vult!" At least someone gets me!

"Goodness, Vert! P-Please don't fight here. Please!" Nepgear says a little worried that something bad might happen.

"Of course, I would never allow us to have our showdown in a meager location such as this. The most fitting locale for our final battle is where I became a CPU!" Vert responds.

"In other words, you wanna fight on your home turf? Pretty cheap move for someone who talks so much shit." I talk even more shit and I am super proud of it.

"Say what you will. In that place, I will be able to wield my powers in full. And with them, I will crush you, both body and soul!" That's not how it works, Vert… That's not how it works. Also can't crush what I never had in the first place.

"So basically, you're telling us to give you a gigantic advantage," Neptune replies.

"I don't see why we should bother to travel there to meet you," Noire tells the CPU.

"Well, if you are all scared despite it being four against one, then I suppose I won't force the issue. But I will certainly let the whole world know that the four CPUs were all too scared to face me." Vert threatens them.

"Hey, you're forgetting us three!" Alex reminds her gesturing to him and his friends.

"Four? Um, are you not counting me?" Nepgear asks. Well to be fair, currently, you aren't a CPU.

"So in the end, you're threatening us. Fine. I'll agree to your terms!" Blanc responds angrily.

"Excellent. Then I shall await your arrival. Come whenever you feel best prepared for your humiliation," Vert says before leaving.

"Aaaaand she's gone..." Plutia remarked.

"Could you try not to decide what we're all going to do without asking?" Noire asks the still angered CPU.

"Oh… Sorry," Blanc apologised realising what she had done.

Blanc then de-transformed. Is there not a better word for this?

"All my blood rushed into my head," Blanc continued.

"Good grief! The folks over here sure are quick to start a fight," Neptune says.

"Well, we got into fights pretty often in our dimension, too…" You do? I never notice.

"I guess we have to go now, though. I feel like we're following her orders, so I'm kind of against this," Noire says still a little pissed off.

"If you don't like it, then stay here. I won't lose to her, even if I'm alone," Blanc tells her.

"You're right. We don't have to do everything together," Noire responds.

"I've got to go. I need to ask Vert if she has any of those CPU memory thingies so I can give it to Nep Jr.!" Knowing her… She probably does.

"If Neppy's going, I am tooooo..." Plutia said happily.

"I guess I'll join you all as well… But I don't think leaving those two alone is a very smart idea," Maddy says.

"Nah! We'll be fine… It's not like some giant mechanised worm is just gonna show up and make things difficult." …

"Oi! Don't spoil the readers!" …

"You think CPU Memories are that easy to come by? It's an item that makes you a CPU, y'know!" Noire tells the girl.

"If this kid turns into a CPU, it'll be yet another nail in Leanbox's coffin," Blanc remarks.

"Vert seemed really angry… I'm okay. It doesn't have to be right now..." Nepgear says thinking about how the CPU was acting earlier.

"No, no! The longer you act all passive and whatnot, the more you're going to age!" Neptune immediately denies.

"I'll plead with Vert for it. Hands and knees, the whole shebang." No one actually says that…

"You'd go...that far for me…?" Oh god, what have you done!

"Naturally. Anything for my beloved and lovely little sister!" How cute.

"Plus, if you age any more, people will get crazy confused about which one of us is the older sister!" Is it really that difficult to tell the difference?

"Your true motive is leaking out," Mini-Histy says.

"Thank you so much! I really love you, Neptune!" Enough with the love and shit! It's creeping me out and making me slightly uncomfortable.

"Although, it would be great to let myself grow a little more and see some of my parts develop..." I need some eye bleach.

"Even you say stuff like that, huh?" Noire says with a blank look.

"She's scheming naughty things." Holy fuck this child has so much fucking sass.

"What's a scheming?" Peashy asks confused.

"It means someone like Ge-Ge!" Baby Compa tells the confused child.

"What the goodness?! No, it doesn't! Better yet, when did you three start listening in?" Who knows…

 ** _"Don't you mean to say "You sly dog, you got me monologuing!" Or am I wrong?"_**

"Sometimes I wonder who is the more impressive memelord. Neptune or the Author." Me because I have infinite memes.

"Ohhhhh, so Neppy Jr. is a big schemer..." No she isn't, Plutia.

"Your big sister is quite sad to hear this. I always thought of you as a pure and innocent girl!" No one is pure or innocent.

"N-No, that's not true at all! I was just trying to make a joke! I swear I'm not scheming anything..." Well, you failed… Hard.

"Fine. Maybe I'll go, after all. I doubt you'd be able to take care of this by yourselves," Noire tells them. No, you just want to go because otherwise, you would be lonely.

"It'd really help me out, since I'd have to deal with those two," Blanc says slightly relieved.

"Well, it'll have to wait. We're done with the chapter and there will not be anything until Friday… Until then the author will continue to be frustrated that he cannot get a game to work."

* * *

 _ **He is right though… See you soon with the cool ass fights and shit. No DoG yet, unfortunately.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	27. Chapter 26

_**This was late because I'm a lazy piece of shit who slept most of the day and ended up playing ESO for the rest of it… I don't have a problem whatsoever…not at all.**_

 _ **Chapter 26: sdrawkcab si eltit sihT**_

* * *

Hellooooooooo, Frank Walker from national tiles… I'll stop now. Props to anyone outside Australia who gets this reference.

Ahem. The party had left for Leanbox with very vague directions and cargo in the form of an idiot, a nerd, and a candidate. You're probably wondering why the boys are coming as well when they decided to stay behind before... Well, I'll tell you what happened.

* * *

 _ **~ Cue the flashback boys! ~**_

 _"C'mon let's get a move on and get to Leanbox ASAP," Noire told the group as she was prepared to make headway to Leanbox._

 _"Wait one moment!" Neptune called out halting the mission "I wish for the two boys in the room to join us in this expedition!" Neptune exclaimed._

 _"Um… Why? Didn't I make it very clear that I wasn't that interested..." James told the purple-haired CPU._

 _"Yes! But… I have a bad feeling that something will happen in Leanbox and that it requires the both of you to be there for plot convenience!" Neptune exclaimed completely obliterating the nonexistent fourth wall as I refuse to fix it and I constantly break it myself._

 _"I really doubt that..." James said with a nervous sweat "What kind of problem could arise that would require us to be there? As far as I know, you girls are all CPUs and can handle anything the world throws at you far better than we ever will…" He tells her._

 _"Don't be dissing yourselves so easily! You are definitely pretty strong! You did beat that big dragon, didn't you? So I think you can handle this!" Neptune said happily referencing a previous fight albeit they had a lot of help…from me…because I fucked up heavily and needed to compensate._

 _"Neptune, you're forgetting that we had a little author intervention during that fight… I'm 200 percent sure that we would have died if we didn't have the weapons that the cunt gave us," James told the girl trying to get out of this situation._

 _"Pffft! Who cares! You could have taken it on without the help of that dummy!" Did you just call me…_

 _"Yeah, but it would have probably taken like 8 billion years to do so… He had 4 million fucking health, not to mention his second phase healed him back up to basically full…" James told her "And if something like that happens again I don't think we will stand much of a chance without those weapons," he continued. Do not worry! If it does, I give you weaker weapons this time!_

 _"Please?"_

 _"No."_

 _"Please…?"_

 _"I said no."_

 _"I'll buy you pudding!"_

 _"With what money?"_

 _Neptune was at a | || || |_ **(I hope you hate me for this…)**_

 _"Pleaseeeeeee~"_

 _"If we go will you stop asking?"_

 _"Yes!"_

 _"Now hold up a minute, do I not get a say in this?" Alex asked._

 _"Nope!" Neptune and James answered together popping the p._

 _ **~ End of ye olde flashback ~**_

* * *

During the flight the two boys thought that the flight was too quiet, so they started singing… this totally wasn't implemented because I'm currently listening to said song right now...not at all.

Cue the fucking music boys!

"You know this is truly a _wonderful world..._ " James began looking at the other male "And I have to agree. This is a _wonderful world_ ," Alex replied knowing what the other was thinking of doing.

"Kill me now..." Maddy muttered knowing exactly what the two boys plan to do.

Somehow magical music started playing out of fucking nowhere courtesy of me btw. Bold for Idiot italics for nerd both for singing together.

 _"I see trees of green, red roses too."_

 **"I see them bloom, for me and you."**

 ** _"And I think to myself… What a wonderful world."_**

 **"I see skies of blue and clouds of white."**

 _"The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night."_

 ** _"And I think to myself… What a wonderful world."_**

 _"The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky."_

 **"Are also on the faces, of people going by."**

 _"I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do."_

 ** _"They're really saying. I love you."_**

 **"I hear babies crying, I watch them grow."**

 _"They'll learn much more than I'll never know."_

 ** _"And I think to myself… What a wonderful world."_**

 ** _"Yes I think to myself… What a wonderful world…"_**

Surprisingly during this entire time, everyone was silent.

"That actually wasn't as bad as I was expecting it to be… I was expecting you to fuck it up on purpose as a joke," Maddy admitted.

"That would just be dumb, purposely fucking up a song like that is not something we would ever do," Alex told the girl.

"I'm more surprised that you can actually sing," Noire mocks the boys to which they don't like her sass "I'm surprised that you're surprised," Alex shot back.

"I only sing when I know the lyrics to the song and it's currently playing," James says. I mean it ain't hard to memorise lyrics y'know… I've done it on multiple songs yet it's like magic because when I attempt to sing a song without the song playing I manage to forget the lyrics or fuck it up somehow… Yet when it's playing it's like magic and I somehow know the lyrics immediately, really mystical shit. I know I'm not the only one who has this magical issue.

"And even then it's very few songs that I can apply this to," James continues as they get closer to Leanbox and can see the city clearer.

"So where exactly is the place we're supposed to meet?" Alex asked the important question.

"Dunno. We can ask around when we land though," James answers him. Wasn't he afraid of heights or someshit? Isn't this supposed to be a- Oh, he's had his eyes closed for most of the flight… Still, he's wayyyyy too calm about this.

A purple flash in the sky caught the attention of everyone.

"What was that?" Neptune asked as they temporarily stopped in mid-air.

"I haven't a clue… But I have a strong feeling that it ain't anything friendly," James answers her.

"It was probably nothing, let's just keep moving," Noire tells them as she continues her flight.

Something was happening and it put the trio on edge for a strange reason… Little did they know that some items had appeared in their inventories without them realising it.

* * *

They found a place to land and proceeded on with the plan of asking around where the CPU might have gone. They learned that she had gone off to a forest dungeon I don't fucking remember which one it is but yee. They now travel to said dungeon to meet with the CPU.

The sky flashed purple once again… Something is coming… Hope you all did your research boys and girls because anyone who did will know exactly what's going to happen.

"This must be the place those nice people told us about," Neptune said with her general happy tone.

"There's a faint energy coming from this place. Could that be the source of that woman's confidence?" Blanc says.

"Hmmmm? I don't feel aaaaanything..." Plutia says confused.

"I agree! Nothing!" Neptune replies cheerfully.

"I don't understand why you sound so happy about it," Blanc says to herself.

"It's fine, really. Even if she gets stronger in this place, the eight of us can still beat her up real good," Neptune says still in her cheery mood.

"Oh, I forgot to mention… We aren't joining in on this fight," James says gesturing to himself and Alex.

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?! Why not?!" Neptune says in surprise at this revelation.

"Because this is a fight between you girls. This isn't a fight for us to get involved in…" Alex answers the girl.

"But we are supposed to do this together!" Neptune says trying to get them to join in.

"Neptune, just leave it alone. If they don't want to fight, they don't have to fight," Noire tells the CPU.

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiine," Neptune complies with a sigh.

* * *

They reached the area where Vert stood waiting for them. A small clearing in the forest.

"Oh, I see her! Heya! Sorry for the wait!" Neptune says as she runs up to greet the CPU of island nation.

"So you've come…" Vert begins noticing the arrival of...everyone "Because you were running late, I had begun to think you all chickened out," Vert mocked.

"We were running late because of Neptune being Neptune and Plutia being slow," Noire tells the enemy CPU.

"Sorrrrrry..." Plutia apologises.

"We have no reason to fear you," Blanc says with a hint of anger.

"Weeeeell, actually, I have one. It's around the, uh, the boob area," Neptune says plainly. Does this girl know no bounds? … Okay, I can't talk as my bounds are non-existent.

"You wanna die first?" Blanc says angrily with a fist clenched and ready to punch the girl.

"Yikes, those eyes are for real. I'm sorry. Seriously this time." That's a fucking lie and we all know it.

"I know we've come all this way, but is it really necessary to force ourselves into a fight?" Noire asks in an attempt to avoid this stupidity.

"Yes! This is a matter of pride! I will never be satisfied until I have proven that I am superior to you all!" Vert tells the girl.

 ** _"Pride is for the weak!"_**

"Quiet you fool! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!" Maybe I am…

"Oh, is that so? Just like Lowee's CPU, you older ones are such a pain," Noire complains. You darn kids! Get offa my lawn!

"Blanc acted the same way?" Nepgear asked having not heard this before.

"Uh-huuuuuh… And then she lost to us and cried and it was soooo cute…" This girl terrifies me sometimes… Hope she doesn't see this… She might beat the shit outta me if that happens.

"Gaaah! Don't bring that up!" Blanc said in a mood that can only be described as 'beyond pissed' "Aww… I kind of wish that I got to see a crying Blanc…" Nepgear admits.

"No sense of tension, just as before..." Vert says to herself as she looks over the atmosphere these people bring.

"Playtime is over! It is time to fight!" Vert told them until she was interrupted by Neptune "Whoa, time out! Before we begin, would you happen to have any spare CPU Memories, Vert?" The purple-haired girl asked.

"Hmm? Well, yes, I have collected a few. Why do you ask?" … Do I even ask why?

"Ooh, I knew you'd camp for them!" How? You know I should stop questioning the logic here…

"Could you give one to Nepgear? She just got here, so she's not a CPU yet," Neptune asked the blonde.

"I…I'd be ever so grateful!" Would you now?

"Nepgear? Oh, I suppose your party increased by one member," Vert says noticing the extra party member… Okay, how did she not notice beforehand… You know what, never mind.

"Awww… So I really wasn't being counted before now…" There, there.

"I fail to understand the situation. Could you go into more detail?" Vert asks not getting why she needs the memory.

Neptune then explained their situation to the blonde CPU of green.

"Hmm, I see. She is your actual little sister, and you are both CPUs from another dimension," Vert said understanding their predicament.

She then stared directly at Nepgear thinking of something but no one knew what she was thinking.

"Wh-What is it? I get uncomfortable when people stare at me like that…" Nepgear says squirming a little.

"My, you're a cute one, aren't you? You might make the cut, Nepgear." Hol' up. The fuck are you planning.

"Huh? The cut?" Nepgear said confused.

"Wait. She just said something pretty suggestive, didn't she?" I dunno, Noire… I do not know…

"Maybe she...swings that way?" Blanc says with the same weird look as Noire. What's wrong with that?

"What way…? Where's the swingset…?" Plutia asked confused.

"I did not need to hear this..." James mutters.

"No way. If she's like the Vert from my world, it's not possi-" Anything is possible… In your dreams of course.

"Wait! It is possible! Gaaah! Vert, are you serious?! Is Nep Jr. gonna fall into your clutches?!" Your mind. The gutter. Name a more iconic duo, I'll wait.

"Whaaaaaat?! I...I am?!" Nepgear says surprised.

"Oh for fuck's sake…" Maddy says as she drags her hand down her face.

"Would you refrain from letting your imagination get carried away? My feelings are strictly platonic," Vert tells the overreacting girl.

She then pulled out the small crystal known as a CPU Memory.

"Here, Nepgear. Because you are so adorable, I will give you this," Vert says as she hands over the rare item.

"O-Okay. Thank you very much..." Nepgear thanks the girl.

"If you act so frightened, it will hurt my feelings. Now then, please feel free to use it right away." My hand is on the 'Abort Mission' button and I am 400 percent ready to press it.

"You handed it over readily," Noire says surprised at the generous action.

"She must be really confident. Or maybe she has another plan..." Blanc remarks towards the generous offering.

"Oh, I know! You're gonna ask for- _Mmphh! Mph!_ " Neptune began but was interrupted quickly by the quick covering of the mouth from James.

"We are not going that far! Now be quiet," James scolds the CPU before removing his hand.

"Hurry up and transfooooorm, Neppy Jr.! I wanna see your cute HDD form…!" More like you wanna have 'fun' with her HDD form…

"O-Okay… Here I go..." Nepgear said as she quickly ingested the crystal which led to the usual bright as fuck blinding light that we call a transformation sequence.

When the light died down it revealed the familiar form of Planeptune's CPU Candidate.

"Whew! I did it!" Nepgear says happily.

"Awww! Soooo cute!" Plutia no! Bad! Stand down!

"I'm happy for you. If you failed, you would've been turned into a hideous monster," Blanc says with a smile.

"What?! N-Nobody told me that!" Nepgear says in surprise at the sudden revelation.

"All chances are 50, 50. You either get it or you don't." And half of 99 is 92.

"And this is why me and the author are gonna be great friends…one day." Maybe, James… Maybe.

"Is she…okay? She won't turn into another wacked-out sadist or anything, right?" Noire asks with a slightly terrified look.

"Nah, she doesn't change much at all. Her charming sales point is that she's normal, even in HDD," Neptune reassures the poor girl.

"You are a CPU now, yes?" Vert asks already knowing the answer.

"Um, yes. Thanks to you… I'm really grateful," Nepgear thanked the blonde happily.

"No need to thank me," Vert told the candidate "But because you used MY item..." I'm about to dropkick this button into a car moving at high speeds.

"From this moment on, you are now MY little sister!" Oh.

"For."

"Fucks."

"Sake."

Thanks, you three for joining me in that charade.

Everyone was just staring at the CPU of green with this look that says many words of confusion and other emotions.

"Those are the rules, I'm afraid. Nepgear, come along and fight at your big sister's side," Vert says motioning for the candidate to come over. I already checked Da Rulez, and it clearly states that 'People named Vert will never have a sister. No exceptions'.

"I...I can't do that! What are you saying? My big sister is Neptune, and..." Nepgear told her while being interrupted by the sister herself "Heck yeah! Nep Jr. is called that because she's my junior!"

"In your dimension, perhaps," Vert says. No in any fucking dimension… The amount of stupidity leaving your lips actually perplexes me.

"But over here, CPUs born from a CPU Memory spawned from the same Memory Core must become sisters!" Bullshit 100.

"R-Really? Is that an official rule?" Noire asks.

"I have no idea. I've never heard of it happening before," Blanc says.

"Yeah, it's rare enough to get just one… But wait, does that mean Plutia and I are sisters…?" I don't like that happy look on your face Noire… Kinda creepin' me out.

"Oh, goodie…! Neppy and I are sisterrrrrs…!" Plutia says happily.

"I think I just vomited in my mouth a little… No offense but if I was related to any of you I think I'd question my own sanity," Maddy says denying this bullshit.

"Ouch..." Alex says.

"So Plutie's my big sister now? Wow, it'd be kinda blushtastic to start calling her that…" And now I think I vomited in my own mouth…

"Hehehe… Yay, I have a little sister!" Plutia says cheerfully.

"Enough of this fucking shit! Can we please get a move on?! Discuss this later!" James yells getting tired of their shit.

"Hmhmhmm. While you were talking, look at what happened..." Vert said with a sly smirk gesturing to the candidate.

"Vert is my big sister now. I am Vert's little sister," Nepgear says in a near monotone voice. Seriously?

"Whoa, she's totally convinced now!" Noire notes. Did somebody say notes? ;memo; rooOhISam Taking notes right now for the test later.

"This stinks! Nep Jr.'s a total pushover, so if anyone pressures her to believe something, she'll cave," Neptune remarks towards the situation.

"Soooo… Neppy Jr. is our enemy now?" Plutia asked surprised at the sudden change of sides.

"There are so many problems with you sisters," Blanc remarks at the two CPU's of the alternate dimension.

"Now it is two against seven. Plus, this is my land. I have the homefield advantage," Vert says before transforming. Seven is still a bigger number…

"Oh, we aren't participating so it's two against five," Alex corrects the enemy CPU.

"We sisters shall be victorious!" Vert claims as she readies her spear.

"Oh goodness, I-I'm so sorry!" Nepgear apologises as she pulls her gunblade out.

"The difference in numbers changes nothing. Besides..." Blanc begins as she transforms with her axe at the ready "Since the kid looks like she can hold her own, I don't gotta hold back at all while I beat the snot outta ya!"

"I'd prefer not to fight over stupid reasons like this, but..." Noire began joining in the transformation sequence "If I must, I'm going to give it all I got! Prepare yourself!" She continues as she draws her sword.

"Goodie, everyone transformed… Then...ummm, me too…!" Plutia said as she also transformed "Hmhmhmm. My sweet Neppy Jr..." Nothing can save you now…

"Eep! Um...P-Plutia…?" Nepgear said worried at the tone in the CPUs voice.

"I've been waiting for this moment… My chant to play with you in this form… I will torment you quite thoroughly, my dearest Neppy Jr..." I'm not even gonna press the button… Just gonna grab me some popcorn. rooNom.

"P-Please...go easy on me..." Please don't I want to enjoy every moment of this.

"Last time, I only watched from afar, but as I thought, you will prove to be the most troublesome of the lot," Vert notes.

"Hmm? Vert, I'm sorry, but you're not my type. Go ahead and play with these other girls." OOF!

"I take offense to that remark! Now I will defeat you myself!" Popcorn is nearly ready!

"What an attention whore… I'll show you no mercy if you dare to stand between me and Neppy Jr.!" This is getting fucking spicy!

Iris Heart turns towards the purple candidate "As for you, my sweet, be a good girl and wait until I deal with this opponent," Iris Heart tells the worried girl.

"O-Okay..." This poor girl has no idea what's in store for her… Popcorn is ready!

"My sanity drops the more this goes on..." Maddy says joining the others with the transforming "Let's just get this over with..." She continues drawing her sword.

"Crap! Sadie's totally targeting my ex-sister! Wh-What should I do as her ex-big sister or whatever?" Neptune said in a slight panic.

"Transform, you frickin' moron! We can't start until you do!" White Heart says angrily.

"If you aren't willing to fight, go hide somewhere. You're in the way!" Black Heart tells the girl.

"Aww, where's the empathy…? Whatever, let's do this!" Neptune complains before transforming herself "Since it's come to this, I've no choice. Grant your ex-sister the honour of sending you to your grave!" She continues pointing her katana at the girl. Fucking hell Neptune that is harsh.

"M-My grave?! I...wasn't gonna fight you to the death or anything..." Nepgear says worriedly.

"I always wanted to say that. Don't worry, I'll go easy on you," Neptune reassures the girl.

"All party members are prepared. Now then… Witness the power of Leanbox's CPU… Green Heart!" Vert said as she twirled her spear.

The sky didn't flash purple this time… It turned completely purple, with it a large gash(?) or crack appeared above them all in the sky.

The crack opened up and out came charging a giant mechanical maw of metal and purple glow.

" **I finally have found you, foolish humans!"** A booming voice echoed towards the party interrupting the fight.

" **You will die here today! For my master!"** The voice echoed again as it charged out through the tear in space-time flying above them all revealing its long body of metal.

"Is that a giant mech worm?" Neptune asked to which no response was received.

A health bar popped up in the corner of all their eyes… the trio noticed the items in their inventory and immediately equipped them. In Alex's hands was another strange gun of purple colour this time around… ' _Seadragon'_ was engraved into the side along this were strange looking boots with wings on the back.

A futuristic looking sniper appears in the hands of James with ' _Aethers Whisper_ ' engraved onto the side along with the same boots Alex got.

Lastly was the same blade from the dragon fight in Maddy's hands no boots, however… Strange…

 **The Devourer of Gods has Awoken…**

* * *

 _ **And we end it here on a beautiful cliffhanger facing off against the Cosmic Worm that lives in a void waiting to tear through dimensions to snatch its prey…**_

 _ **Can they beat this enemy? Who fucking knows… The answer will probably be yes...maybe… I did say there are no rules.**_

 _ **Sorry for the 1-day delay though… Enjoying ESO all over again is great.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	28. Chapter 27

_**Chapter 27: Well that was an unexpected turn of events…**_

* * *

"Hey instead of fighting… Author my man why don't you just use some bullshit magical author powers to insta-kill this thing." That's not a bad idea… I mean it would be more interesting to see the fight but I guess it would be safer to do that.

 _ **"Begone worm!"**_

…

 _ **"You think...you can butcher...ME!?"**_ Oh fuck… It didn't work… Whelp, good luck!

"Well, guess we fight the old fashioned way," Neptune says as she readies her sword for the new opponent.

"I think we can put our fight on hold, for now, Vert," Neptune tells the now temporary ally.

"I agree with you on that… This _thing_ must be destroyed!" Vert says twirling her spear.

Health bar fully initialised… 800,000.

"That doesn't seem too bad compared to the dragon..." James mutters.

* * *

 _ **(For the maximum immersive experience, play 'Scourge of the Universe')**_

The armoured enemy charged right towards the party at fast speeds leaving them little time to react and dodge. The CPUs managed to fly out the way in time the two boys fucking booked it at impossible speeds for any normal person to run at.

The worm quickly changed direction and targeted the CPUs which gave the two boys a chance to barrage it with whatever they can.

Like the weapon, he used before the strange gun fired fast and the bullets seemed to explode on impact. James' weapon shot a beam of energy which exploded into lasers upon contact with the worm… Yet the two noticed that these attacks did fuck all as the health barely degraded from the assault they were giving the Devourer.

"So that's why it has such low health..." Alex mused to himself as the Devourer took notice of the two attackers and charged directly into them which also made it so it was basically pelted in the face with exploding bullets and cool lasers.

The health bar was actually going down a lot more steadily now which now confused the rest of the party witnessing the strange mechanic.

"It's head is the weak point! Focus your attacks there!" Neptune called out to the rest of the party.

The two boys ran to either side letting the worm harmlessly pass however it wasn't going to be that easy because lasers fired from the body of the Devourer, homing in on the two unfortunates.

The worm used this opportunity to whip its tail around and smack James away into a tree.

 _ **"Are you honestly that bad at dodging?"**_ The cosmic worm mocked as the CPUs closed in flying fast and delivering blows to the head of the Devourer.

It then switched its target towards the attacking CPUs by charging at them with quick speed as lasers homed in on them.

Alex was firing from the ground and was hitting the tail this time which seemed to be as effective as hitting the head of the monstrosity.

James was still recovering from the fierce attack though as to why the Devourer didn't finish him off right then and there was unknown to him and everyone else. " _32-Bit MegaBlade!_ " Neptune called out summoning a large blue sword which she then directed right into the face of the cosmic worm dealing a hefty amount of damage.

" _Sylhet Spear!_ " A large green magic glyph appeared by the side of the Leanbox CPU which then released a rather large spear that pierced through the head and into the body of the scourge.

James finally recovering took aim at the head and fired the strange gun that he held. He only got one shot off before a second worm spawned smaller than that of the Devourer. The new foe charged at him which forced him to dodge while blasting at it in an attempt to get rid of it.

Maddy flew over to him at fast speeds and slashed right through the worm killing it rather easily before moving back into the fray with the dangerous foe.

" _M.P.B.L!_ " Nepgear called out while pulling the trigger on her gunblade releasing a rather impressive beam of pink death. Blanc smashed her axe into the tail of the foe with Noire following close behind slashing at the same spot.

The Devourer whacked away the two CPUs with its tail before making a quick charge towards Neptune and Vert.

The fast movements and position of the worm made it difficult to hit with the ranged weaponry that the boys were using. Lasers fired off the body homing towards anyone that wasn't being directly charged at.

"Die you piece of shit!" James shouted as he launched more attacks from the weird gun lowering the HP of the boss to more critical levels which both helped and didn't help as this spawned two of those smaller worms.

The two worms charged at Nepgear and Maddy respectively while the Devourer himself was having a really annoying time attempting to catch his flying prey.

Maddy dealt with her worm quickly and Nepgear blasted hers with pink energy beams while James shot from the distance to back her up.

The sky then was no longer purple… Had they won?

"Whew, that was some fight…" Neptune exclaimed wiping her brow as she flew down towards the ground with Vert following close behind.

"Wasn't even a challenge," Noire boasted which ended up being a mistake on her part as the sky completely darkened but still had that purple hue to it.

 ** _"It's not over yet, Kid."_** The Devourer had reappeared this time with more menacing armour a larger body and a bigger health bar than the previous version.

* * *

 _ **(Once again for immersion sake play 'Universal Collapse')**_

"How?! We killed you!" Blanc shouted as the new form of the deadly worm charged directly at the gathered party with even more speed than it had previously.

With even less time to react to the speed of the Devourer than when it first tried that attack, there were some unfortunate hits from the body of the cybernetic worm.

"This just got ten times more difficult didn't it..." James said to Neptune who was beside him as his wounds regenerated "I wouldn't start complaining as we need to defeat this evil metal beast," Neptune replied to the boy who began to fire the gun while running side by side with the cosmic scourge.

The Devourer charges at Blanc and Maddy while spewing purple fire from its maw which made it impossible to get close to attack it leaving them only with the option of dodging while the others wear down its health.

Alex just held the trigger down as shots continued to blast from the end of the barrel and into the face/tail of the worm.

Most of the process was just repeated for a bit because no one wants to see that boring shit… And because I'm terrible with fight scenes in written form than I am with my vivid imagination.

As they whittled the health down to around 60 percent the Devourer just started going invisible making it immune to any attacks as laser walls started firing at the party from many directions leaving small gaps to move through.

"This is not fair whatsoever!" Alex complained at the sudden disappearance "While I agree with you, it's not the time for that!" James told the boy as he dove through a gap in the lasers.

The Devourer started to reappear slowly as the group continued to dodge the lasers "There it is!" Neptune exclaimed as the lasers stopped barraging everyone and the cosmic worm reappeared in full to charge at them with its flames spewing from its maw and lasers being shot from laser spheres that it started creating.

The process of dodging and weaving through the attacks while barraging the Devourer with an onslaught continued on with it turning invisible more times as the laser walls got more deadly and made it difficult to avoid.

 _ **"A GOD DOES NOT FEAR DEATH!"**_ The Devourer exclaimed as it reached a health threshold of 25 percent remaining as the laser walls now started attacking while it was in a visible state.

The Devourer charged at James and Alex who were being pests and basically doing the most damage because ranged weaponry is OP as fuck against this guy.

" _Fighting Viper!_ " Iris Heart slashed with her sword-whip at the tail of the worm **_(Completely honest…nearly forgot she existed… Whoops.)_**

" _M.P.B.L!_ "

" _32-Bit MegaBlade!_ "

" _Sylhet Spear!_ "

" _Lace Ribbon Dance!"_

" _Zerstorung!"_

The rest of the CPUs called out their own attacks against the Devourer. Each attack hit its mark against the tail of the beast pushing it to 10 percent along with the help of the constant barrage of bullets and lasers from the boys who ran as fast as they could to avoid the maw of the cybernetic scourge.

With victory in their sights, they continue the onslaught only to be met with the Devourer going invisible once more.

Lasers literally came from every possible direction and the gaps were so tiny that they were not going to get out of this one unscathed. Cheap ass boss…

With the Devourer returning to visible form they finally finished their barrage of bullets, lasers, and cool and flashy melee attacks by killing the cosmic worm.

 _ **The Devourer of Gods has been defeated…**_

* * *

The sky returned to normal as the body of the cybernetically enhanced worm turned into a purple haze leaving nothing behind.

The strange equipment once again had vanished because they had no need for it anymore.

"That was not fun at all…" Neptune complained as she reverted her transformation due to being tired from battle.

"Who's complaining now?" James mocked as he dropped to the ground to rest "Since that problem is over, how about we forget the whole fight you all were ready to duke out," he continued.

The rest of the girls transformed back to take a quick breather "After fighting alongside you all, I no longer have the urge to continue what we I started, I do, however, apologise for overreacting in such a manner," Vert says as she props herself up against a tree.

Alex just gave a thumbs up from his face-down position on the ground.

"Well, I guess our job here is done and we can finally rest," Neptune says happily.

Hahahahahahaha! Nope!

* * *

 ** _And then I left thou with a cliffhanger like a lazy POS and because I'm a little tired right now. Sleep has been fucking shit recently._**

 ** _In other news that's pretty cool and important, this story has hit 2k views... Neat. Honestly never expected this because I know just how bad my grammar and punctuation is... And how bad i can fuck up my english, seriously I've probably said 'Undermestirate' more than just a few times instead of 'Underestimate'_**

 ** _Thanks for reading though I'll see you on Friday with the next chapter._**

 ** _Have a good one._**

 ** _~Ant_**


	29. Chapter 28

_**Alright, let me just first start this off with me saying how inconsistent I am.**_

 _ **Promises a chapter on Friday, doesn't actually turn on the computer to write the chapter and instead continues the painful suffering called grinding. In my moment of grinding however and consequently taking a day off at the same time, I've been thinking of changing up my style or rather how often I write. I'm here to say that I think that I've been writing this too fast and that I want to enjoy the time and give people more time to enjoy the story rather than just '2 chapters a week every week'. At my current pace I'd probably finish this off by the end of the year, which isn't bad whatsoever, but, I'd rather let it go on for a little longer than this and maybe take some time to instead write longer chapters as I am super inconsistent with how much I write per chapter.**_

 _ **What I'm trying to say is, I want people to enjoy it and be in a kind of suspense or anticipation of the next chapter, kind of like how Anime works where you watch an episode then wait a week in anticipation, etc.**_

 _ **Thanks to those who have kept up to date so far and I hope to see you all in a possible sequel.**_

 _ **Sincerely, your local Cunt.**_

 _ **Ant.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 28: Loudmouth and a W(B)itch.**_

"Lady Green Heart!" A soldier shouted as he came running into the area with a distressed look on his face.

"State your business," Vert demanded "It's an emergency! Someone claiming to be one of the Seven Sages is destroying the city!" The simple guard answered.

"What's this? Destroying Leanbox?! What of our military forces?" Vert asked surprised at the guard's reply.

"W-We're completely ineffective..." Your military needs some fucking work… Get some bombs and shit.

"Sounds about right. Normal people don't stand a chance against them," Noire remarked. Come on! A rocket launcher could totally be effective against one of those cunts.

"I cannot remain idle knowing this… I must hurry back, and…! Ugh… M-My poor back..." What'd you break your fucking back from all that extra baggage?

This prompted a few laughs at the poor girl "Ahahahahaha! Did you hear that?! Granny Vert's got a bad back! Bwahahahahahaha!" Neptune, you are one mean girl… But I'm meanerer.

Meanwhile at least two guys were absolutely fucking dying in laughter.

"That fight with the weird mechanical worm must have really taken a toll on you..." Blanc said referring the fight moments ago.

"Looks like I have no choice again. I'll give you a hand." Noire offered the help because she's a tsundere. No one asked for her help, she just offered, no holds barred.

"Huh? But..."

"I-It's not like I'm doing it for your sake or anything. _**(Bullshit, I smell it from here.)**_ It's just that…if I save them in a cool manner, your citizens might become faithful followers of mine instead! That's all!" Anyone that follows you is probably as stubborn and hard headed as you.

"And here we have the wild tsun in her natural habitat. Watch as she offers help to someone previously thought an enemy," Alex teased with his Steve Irwin impression.

"If Noire's going, I wanna go, too..." Simple Plutia is simple.

"I've got a personal grudge against the Seven Sages, anyway. Count me in."

Somehow James found a massive clock out of nowhere with 'Kick ass' written where the numbers for the time would be.

"Oh boy, would you look at the time," James said as he eyed the clock hands.

"Where did you even get that?" Noire asked, "Never asks where it comes from, accept it as fact." Was her answer by none other than Alex.

"You two in?" James asked his two friends to which one nodded and the other gave a 'Fuck yes I am!' I'll let you guess who did what.

"Everyone..."

"So we're decided. Let's hurry!" Noire said as she gestured to the others to come with her before turning towards the blonde CPU "Are you going to rest here?" She asked as the CPU in question had a very serious look on her face despite the previous pain.

"Surely you jest. _**(I always jest.)**_ This is my nation! I'll go, even if I have to crawl!" Vert said with a determined look.

"To be fair, I always jest," Alex said with a finger held up to which he received a glare or two from the more serious people in the group.

"Don't overdo it," Blanc said with concern for the health of the CPU.

"Let's head to where the Seven Sages are running amok!" Neptune said with a cheerful look "Ready, go!" And then she ran off.

"Goooooo…!" Plutia went along with Neptune at speeds no one thought she could move at.

* * *

The girls ran into the city and found two familiar faces from said the 'evil' organisation 'arguing' up a storm. Their evil cannot even compare to the shit I could concoct up in my brain, that's why I say 'evil'.

"Whoa. This is quite a funky little situation," Neptune remarked at the two members currently 'arguing'. 100 Septims says that Arfoire is on her period.

"They destroyed the city while putting on a nice comedy routine. In a way, that's very skilled." Is it really that hard to do? Hold my beer.

"I never imagined my city would fall under such absurd circumstances…"

"Antasco: Hold my beer." See?! Someone understands my mental processing.

Arfoire noticing the presence of the CPUs stopped her bickering and actually got serious.

"Ah. They've arrived. Dammit, I think I actually felt relieved to see them. Better than being alone with this one." Whaaaaaat?! Copypaste is a sick cunt, I'd share a drink with him.

"Why, it's the little CPUs and their male compadres! Long time, no see, buddies!" Copypaste greeted.

"I'm liking him better already. Ant, would you like some company with the drinking?" Fuck yes I do.

"Oh! I believe I see a new friend! That's wonderful! Friends should be treasured above all treasures!" I'm an asshole to my friends and this is fine with them. Insulting people is my specialty.

"Uh, didn't we blow this guy up? Not just that, but wasn't his personality a bit different before?" Noire asked surprised at the familiar face.

"Bwahaha! My reliable and completely irreplaceable ally fixed me right up!" I would replace him very quickly… For reasons…

"I can experience the joy of facing you CPUs again, along with the excitement of global destruction!" Copypaste cheers.

"This is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen," Alex and James say together shedding a tear.

"Ahhh, life is such a miracle!"

"Hooray, life…! Clappy, clappy, clap!" Sometimes I wonder whether Plutia is more of a child than Neptune.

"I told you to shut up!" Arfoire shouted at her companion of metal and stuff before pointing at rag tag group of people "And don't you dare patronize him!"

Arfoire cleared her throat getting more serious and was ready to say something before she was very rudely interrupted.

"Who's the crazy old bag of bones?" Alex, I fucking love you.

"Who are you calling 'old'!?" This is gonna end well!

"Menopause?" James asked the rest of the group receiving some shrugs some sighs and at least one fit of laughter.

"Bwahahahahahaha!"

Arfoire was getting more and more irritated by the second.

"So granny, you need me to get your walking stick?" Alex asked barely containing his laughter.

"That is it! I will not take these insults to my age!" Arfoire shouted as she pulled out a massive spear.

"Well, at least we don't need to get the walking stick for you..." James remarked.

"You will die first!" Arfoire yelled as she charged at the boy who simply twirled out the way.

"Can't touch this. Na na na na, naaaa na na!" Oof! She looks super pissed now.

"One of these days he's going to get himself killed..." Noire remarked as she transformed "Gives me more reason to save him so he can owe me a favour or two!" Noire smirked as she got ready along with the rest of the group.

"I've already died once! So HA!" The boy laughed as he ducked under the wide sweep of Arfoire's spear thingy.

"It's true, Noire. Jamie here has died once already," Neptune said with a sigh as she readied her weapon for another fight.

Battle begin? Fuck that I'm far too lazy to actually write out this boring ass battle.

* * *

"Gaaaaah! You pack quite a punch, ladies, and two gentlemen..." Copypaste remarked cheerfully as he was defeated.

"This battle is over," Green Heart stated.

"Hahaha! What a wonderful battle! I am proud to have fought against you, from the bottom of my heart!" This is why I like Copypaste.

"Because you keep vomiting so many distracting lines, I couldn't fight at full strength..." Arfoire says in slight pain still pissed off towards the two boys who are a master of their art.

Nepgear was surprised during the fight because of Arfoire changing into something creepy as fuck that needs no mentioning.

"Her form when she transforms… Isn't that…?" Maybe.

"Now now, let's not make excuses. There are no sides after a fight, so let's praise one another's skills!" Sorry, I only know how to insult people.

"Instead of focusing on winners and losers, recognise the spirit of fair play! Isn't that right?!" I ain't-a fair man, I will play dirty.

"In what universe does there exist an idiot who takes part in sabotage and then shouts about fair play?!" Arfoire shouts at the robot as she is visibly annoyed. I can think of an infinite number of universes.

"I almost wish to experience more of this comedy routine..." I can see that smile, Neptune! You can't hide it from me.

"Today, we're going to smash you into so many pieces that nobody will be able to repair you!" Noire says angrily at the robot's existence.

"There's too much else I have left to accomplish. I can't lose now." Just give up already.

"You have things to do? What are they? We'd be happy to listen to your personal goals." No, down girl! Bad Neppy Jr.!

"I'll never be at peace until I can complain to the idiot who 'fixed' up this robot!" Arfoire said while still quite annoyed before turning around to leave the nation "Come on, we're leaving!" She called to the cheerful robot.

"Hmm? Oh, are we playing tag now? Okay, I love it! Hahaha! Wait up, you silly friend of mine!" Copypaste, no…

"You won't escape! We're going to catch, and…!"

"Bye-byeeeee! Have fun playing tag..." Plutia waved happily as the two left.

"What the?! Plutie, since when did you change back to that form?" Neptune said in surprise at the girl.

"Huh? Should I not have…?" Plutia asked confused.

"No! We weren't done!" Black Heart told the confused girl "Ugh, and now we've lost sight of them… They're only good at running away."

"You're such a fickle pickle…! You always tell me not to transform… But I still need to play with Neppy Jr. later…" At this Nepgear visibly gulped as she dreaded what would happen later.

"I'm sorry, Vert. We failed to catch them because Plutie called it quits early," Neptune apologised to the CPU of green.

"It is nothing for you to worry about," Vert told the CPU of purple as she transformed back "I am grateful, in all honesty. Without your collective aid, I would have been unable to protect my nation."

"Hmm?"

"Why are you being so modest now?" Hey, when did you transform back, Noire?

"It is basic etiquette to return kindness with equal kindness. I truly thank you." Sorry, but where I'm from being kind is being an asshole.

"Hehehe… You're sooooo welcome..." Plutia says to the fellow CPU.

"Well, everything worked out, in the end, didn't it…?" Yes, it did, Blanc.

"We will have to have a proper match one day without interruption from cosmic worms or the Seven Sages, but for now I feel I must repay the debt I owe to you all first," Vert told the group with a smile.

"Wow… Vert can look so gorgeous when she makes such a serious face..." Sorry not seeing it.

"Methinks that could be misconstrued as a rude comment, sis. But yeah, I was totally thinking that, too." Alright, when the fuck did you all transform back.

"I have a mountain of responsibilities to climb before that time..." Gaming like a true nerd… "Increase security, rebuild the city, and think of ways to obtain shares from your continent…" So wanna play ESO with me later? Ironically I play on Xbox.

After this Vert left the scene back to her Basilicom.

* * *

"Phew, Sounds to me like Vert's gonna have her paws full for a while," Neptune said in remark.

Hold up! I just realised the trio fucking disappeared again! How the fuck do they keep doing this?! Whatever… Let's just keep following the girls for now.

"Goodie! I'm soooo glad we all became friends..." Nice.

"This is sort of problematic… She's a bit too friendly with me..." You'll be fine.

"Yeah. I didn't know what to do when you betrayed us out of the blue." Punish her ass… Wait… That might actually happen.

"Yeah, that was pretty bad, Nep Jr. All that, after you said you loved me!" She's going to be loving you a lot more after Plutia is done with her…

"We're all heading back. Are you staying here or not?" Blanc asked.

"I…I'm going back with you all! Please don't tease me so much!" No, that only makes me want to do it even more.

Wait one second… Vert didn't leave… Fucking creepster supreme.

The CPUs said their goodbyes before leaving towards their respective homes.

* * *

"Hey, I just realised something..." Neptune started as the three Planeptune CPUs were flying back.

"What is it, my dear Neppy?"

"What happened to Jamie, Maddy, and Alex? After we won I could have sworn they were still with us…"

"I'm not sure myself… I didn't even see them take off…" Nepgear responded trying to think where they might have gone.

"Well, they'll be here next chapter…I hope…" Can't break a wall that doesn't exist in the first place.

"You're just too lazy to put one up." I am fucking not! … Okay, I am… Wait, why are you criticising me for being lazy?! You're just as bad as me!

"He has you there, Neppy…" Don't even get me started on you!

"Oh? I didn't know you wished for an early grave..." Sorry…?

"There is no apologising here, boy. Expect me soon." Fuck…

* * *

 _ **And here we are at the end of the chapter once again…**_

 _ **Was posting this earlier than normal because I feel like it's compensation for my assholery.**_

 _ **And because Behemoth is coming soon…**_

 _ **Anyways… I might pump out one more chapter this week but don't expect anything or get your hopes up. This will probably be a more permanent change and there will only be extra chapters in the week if I'm feeling up to it…**_

 _ **See ya!**_


	30. When James Is Bored

_**Here's the bonus chapter… Not much a chapter though. Doing this because I didn't know what to do for a few hours and needed something to pass the time...so enjoy this little thing that has nothing to do with the story.**_

* * *

 _ **What happens when you leave James alone with nothing to do… Based on shit I would probably do if I had the chance… or friends…**_

In the Basilicom of Planeptune, there is a young man who after a harrowing adventure is ridiculously bored and the CPU is currently busy working… I know, shocking right? Now how is he possibly alone… What about Histoire? At a business meeting in Lastation. Nepgear? With Uni in Lastation… Alright, how about Maddy? I don't know… Alex? With Noire.

So being by his lonesome self what could he possibly do to entertain himself? There's no games to play and I ain't giving him access to my steam library.

"What to do… What to do..." He says to himself aloud.

"There's literally nothing to do right now… Everyone else is busy and I've been left here to look after the place while they are gone." James is quite a bored man right now if he's talking to himself this much.

"Shut up Ant! You do the exact same thing this is supposed to be based on what you would do… Talking to yourself is like second nature to you." …

"Why don't you suggest something then?" Well, there's always attempting _that_ again.

"When was the last time I did _that_?" James says with a smirk. High school 8th grade… What a beautiful time…

"Do you remember what we need? I may have forgotten some of the things..." Don't worry I have everything under control… In fact, I have all the required items right here.

"Send them over!" Got it.

Now you may be wondering exactly what is planned… I'll tell you. A long time ago the trio planned something that got them in serious trouble at school… It requires many items but when complete they managed to set up traps in every single classroom that when triggered would fuck with literally anyone who tried to do anything at all… Serious trouble was how they put it but in reality, they got expelled… It was worth it though because it was the first of April.

From tripping people up to confetti or feather fun.

So with these items, he plans to trap every possible thing that he can think of so when anyone tries to use it something bad will happen but never too bad just…really annoying.

* * *

A few hours of prep later and he's sitting on the couch with a smug look watching a random show on television while drinking a Nep Bull.

The first ones to return were Maddy and Alex.

"Wait! Don't move you two… It's time we pull _it_ off again… Everything is all set up I'll lead you two so we can enjoy this together," James told the two who knew exactly what he meant and at this Alex had this look that would tell you 'Fuck yes!' Whereas Maddy didn't show how she was feeling but she knew that she would enjoy this once again.

After successfully leading them through the place without triggering a trap the two sat down as he tossed them some beverages as they watched random shit on television in wait of the returnees.

Funny enough all three of the girls had returned at the same time which would make this absolutely perfect.

Nepgear and Neptune landed on the balcony whereas Histoire walked left the elevator.

You may wonder… Histoire can fly, so how will any of this work? Well, he planned for this of course!

Neptune was the first to trigger a trap by running straight inside and tripping on fishing line that was set up to drop a bucket of water on her.

Followed by Histoire who floated right into food wrap and Nepgear who in an attempt to help her sister activated a trap that blasted both herself and Neptune with feathers.

Meanwhile, the trio was snickering while being as calm as possible.

Histoire was completely pissed off by this and in an attempt at floating over to them as fast as she can to scold them she ended up triggering a trap that tangled her up in rope.

Neptune, not wanting any of these _'pranks'_ to continue on any longer decided to transform and actually be a responsible person for once.

She brought out her sword and used it to disarm any wire traps that could effect them… What she didn't account for is that James planned this far ahead and had set up fake traps and so he flipped a switch on a small remote which launched a bucket filled with dogoo slime right at her.

Nepgear joined in this time transforming and using her gunblade to destroy the remote in his hands.

Histoire finally got out of the bindings and was now more than pissed.

"You three have made me very angry with this tomfoolery! And you will not go unpunished! Neptune, please restrain them… I have a good idea of what kind of punishment they deserve." I know that feeling… That's the feeling of punishment that we never need to feel… But, you would think he didn't plan for this? Fuck no he made sure he had an exit for this.

James slowly stood up laughing a hearty laugh "If you can, that is!" He grabbed the television remote and pressed multiple buttons which were rigged to set off different traps of varying annoyances and one specially made gtfo device for getting the fuck away.

Multiple cannons and guns appeared from the walls and launched different projectiles varying from paintballs to confetti.

"By the way… These two didn't set up anything, they just joined for the laughs… See ya!" And he just disappeared in a flash to who knows where.

What he does know is that when he returns or they find him… A punishment awaits him… But was it worth it? Fuck yes it was!

On the ground in the Basilicom is a note.

 _This is a letter to the ones that have been had._

 _I am not sorry and I will never be sorry._

 _Signed._

 _Your Local Cunt._

 _P.S. I'm dead once punishment arrives…so I'm going to take a few days to mentally prepare myself._

 _P.S.S Hope you like the final fun event!_

And the letter burst into flames after it was read out which set off the sprinkler system rigged with assortments of liquids from dogoo slime to juice.

Let's just say when he returned there were some unhappy people and a very irritated Iris Heart…

The screams were heard from all across Tamriel… I mean Gamindustri, both of them!

* * *

 _ **Enjoy the bonus I guess! I really didn't have anything to do so I did this because it is a nice day.**_

 _ **This is something I would do… Probably not on such a grand scale but in some way…**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	31. Chapter 29

_**I feel nothing but pain… So many hours, so, so many…**_

 _Yikes! Just how long did Plutie 'play' with him?_

 _ **6 too many…**_

 _7 hours?!_

 _ **6 hours…**_

 _Oh… Well, Author needs some time to recuperate so he can't open up for this chapter whatsoever._

 _Lemme just grab the cards to read from… Ahem._

" _29 chapters in and coming to 30 soon! And this chapter marks 100k words for the whole story… Although the 100k could have been achieved way earlier if I wasn't as inconsistent with my writing… I just write what I think is the right amount and whatever is currently on my mind, and I'm sure I've said it before but none of this is planned so any extra events that happen are things that just...well, happen! I've rambled enough… Onto the story!"_

 _I should probably stick around to comfort the poor guy…_

 _ **Pain… So much pain…**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 29: The title names have basically become irrelevant at this point… In reality, I'm too lazy to come up with a decent title.**_

A few days have passed since the Leanbox attack yet the trio are still missing and have yet to be seen… Where are they? Well, we could follow them but I can't even find them… And I'm the Author for fuck's sake!

Maybe they are out defending a dungeon or something, I dunno… I have this very strange feeling that they are fighting a flying battleship from a city in the sky…

 _~ **Meanwhile with these people…** I thought you said you couldn't find them? **I lied… ~**_

A few days ago just after the saving of Leanbox…

I don't know what happened, but all three of us were suddenly transported to another place… For some reason, it felt both familiar and also painful…

"So… Where are we?" Alex asked the two of us who were just as confused at the location that we were now out.

Let me take a moment to describe the area. Currently, all three of us are standing on a metal platform that is floating in the air through mechanisms far too complicated for me to understand but it resembles a blimp in a way.

In front of us is a smaller platform with two chests on it that leads to a more open area housing a light purple crystal of unknown origin. The place is well designed but there's more to it than just these small things… There are closed doors with purple magic circles placed onto the ground.

Maddy was the first one to take the lead for this situation "We should explore the area so we can work out where we are… Although I have a feeling we aren't in Gamindustri…" I agree with her… Something about this place is not of Gamindustri origin…

After some time exploring we learnt that we are in some kind of city… a city floating in the sky with very large propellers along with fans floating nearby blowing a constant gust of strong winds.

There were 2 other crystals of the same as the first both. One was placed in a park of sorts and the other in a somewhat open area like the first, but that wasn't the most bizarre thing here… The most bizarre thing was the random blue cats that were floating in the air by use of a propeller machine.

Alex attempted to pet the cat which ended up liking it and hearts and rainbows appeared above its head along with strange crystals or maybe gems that entered him and disappeared…

"What the hell… I'm so very confused right now…" I am too, my friend… I am too.

I got curious about the crystal and decided to touch it… That was a mistake as a timer appeared in my peripheral vision and it was counting down…

"The hell did you do?!" Alex asked me but I was just as confused as he was.

"I don't know… I just touched the crystal and that happened…" I answered not knowing what to do as the timer counted down.

Alex was curious now and decided to touch the crystal himself. Bad move the timer dropped by half and was continuing its countdown.

"You just made it worse…" I told the idiot himself.

"I know I did! You don't need to tell me that." Yes, I do…

"Maddy, try touching the crystal and see what happens, whatever comes after can't be too bad…" Alex told her to which she complied albeit a little worried.

When she touched the crystal some text popped up saying 'Combat Phase' and then monsters that were nothing like the ones from Gamindustri started to come out the now open doors.

They made a bee line directly for the crystal as if they were attracted by it in some way…

' _An Eternia Crystal is under attack!'_

"What?" I ask confused as a health bar for one of the purple crystals popped up and was going down as the monsters attacked it.

I should mention that these monsters are red in skin colour mostly and are destroying the crystal quite quickly.

' _An Eternia Crystal was destroyed!'_

The crystal completely shattered and we were suddenly transported once again back to the same area however everything was as if nothing was destroyed with the words 'Build Phase' appearing.

"The hell do we do now? Are we supposed to defend the crystals or something? Hey! Author! EXPLAIN ALREADY!" Alex said as he yelled to the sky in an attempt to contact the lad.

"If that's the objective… How do we do it? There's way too many monsters to be able to defend all three crystals. Even if we split up it still wouldn't be enough as they target the crystal and have a clear intent to destroy it," I tell him.

Just what the hell have we gotten ourselves into…

* * *

 _ **~ Back to the present time with the girls… Although I didn't expect them to end up there of all places… They're probably feeling the pain and suffering that is the battlecruiser ~**_

"So, you said some pretty cool stuff and all, but..." Neptune began "Why do you come and hang out in Planeptune's Basilicom every day, Vert?" She finished asking the CPU of green as to why she shows up so often.

"What other option do I have? Nepgear insists on living here, no matter what. As her doting elder sister, I am granting her wish." Vert, you need to back the fuck off.

"No, no… I'm already Neptune's little sister, and..." Nepgear began as she was suddenly pulled into a hug "Oooogh… Please don't squeeze me like this…!" Nepgear asked attempting to break free from Vert's hug. Girl has a grip like a vice. Good luck!

"I cannot grant that wish. I won't let you go, not for a single moment."

"Hey! If you can't let her go, then I'm gonna have to get in on this hugging action! Squeeeeze!" Neptune then proceeded to hug her sister.

Unfortunately, all the hugging is turning out to be painful for the poor Candidate "Owwww! Th-The pain… Please, it hurts, so stop…please…"

And then the children joined in on the hugging… This poor girl.

"Urrggghhh… I can't breathe..." If you can talk, you can breathe.

"Neppy Jr. is sooooo popular… That's nice…"

"Don't look so jealous. After all, you… Y'know…" Ahh, the tsun shows her true colours.

""After all, you have me, Plutia"?" Master deductionist Vert strikes again!

"Ack! Don't steal my?" Your what?

"Steal your what? What were you going to say?" Teasing the tsun is a surefire way to entertain thyself.

"Grrrr! Why, you…!"

"Heeeey, stop fighting all the time…" Plutia says in a somewhat failed attempt at stopping them.

"Pardon me. Vert?" Mini-Histy speaks up.

"My records say nothing about two girls becoming sisters if they use CPU Memories from one Memory Core." Vert is just delusional… Plus younger siblings aren't all that great. From what I know they can be real shitheads and be a massive nuisance, I would know as I am a younger sibling.

"Oh, is that so? But it is a rule that my nation has accepted for many years."

 ** _"I smell bullshit…"_**

"See?! Even the Author agrees!" I very much do agree, Neptune.

"A lie is still a lie, no?"

 ** _"Lying is more fun than telling the truth. Change my mind."_**

"Can you stop butting in?" I'll butt in whenever I want, Lonely Heart.

"Hmhmhmm. The truth is in the eye of the beholder, I say," Vert answers the tome fairy.

"I see. However..."

"Come now, Nepgear. Don't be shy. I will spoil you as much as you'd like," Vert says as she pulls the girl into another hug.

"Vert, really now, let me go… Ugh, but they're so soft and it's starting to feel warm and cosy..." Don't get too comfy…

"Hey! Using your chest to steal away _my_ sister isn't fair at all! Author do something already!" Neptune says trying to stop this madness.

 ** _"I'm busy playing Generations in preparation for Generations Ultimate. You're on your own for this."_**

"Maybe you just aren't a good sister then," Noire says with a smirk.

"And you think you could do better? I'd like to see you try," Blanc retorts to the tsundere CPU.

"Ummmm, if you two don't stop..." I'm just gonna hide in case she transforms…

"Huh? Oh, no! I'm sorry, really!" Noire said panicking that Plutia might transform.

"I'm sorry! I was out of line!" Blanc said panicking as well.

"It is nice that things are so lively. This has become a real gathering place for the CPUs…" Truly it has, Histoire.

"But everyone, please try to get some work done, will you…?" Neptune, work? That's a funny joke.

"On a different note… I wonder where those three have gone off to…" Mini-Histy says aloud trying to figure out where the trio of wonder has disappeared to.

"Good question, Histy! Where have they gone? They were with us back in Leanbox a few days ago but now they've completely disappeared! I even checked the place they were staying at and they haven't even shown up there either," Neptune says.

"I have even run a search for them but their presence was not found in Gamindustri… This only leads me to believe that they are in another world. The question is what world have they gone to?" Mini-Histy says.

Just where are they… Well, I do know now, but, I won't reveal it til the end. Those who do know already I give massive props to because it's pretty obscure.

* * *

 _ **~ We move to the trio into what they are currently doing in the present time ~**_

"How long have we been doing this…" Alex groans as we make it to the final wave Build Phase.

"A few days now… I think," I answer him unsure myself.

Quick recap. We've been here for some time now and have been attempting to fight off the hordes of monsters while protecting the crystals. It wasn't easy but we figured out how to set up some proper defenses to protect the crystals when we cant.

For example… Huge coloured bubbles that debuff, damage, and slow the enemy.

Crystal minions that resemble that of the monsters we have been fighting.

Harpoon turrets to shoot down the wyverns.

Beams that buff the defenses, and walls of light that reflect projectiles.

It has been quite painful but after some time we figured out a decent build that finally got us to the final wave which happens to also be a boss wave.

"For some strange reason, I feel like this isn't even as hard as it could be..." Alex says yet I am not sure because how could this possibly get any worse.

 ** _"I FINALLY FUCKING FOUND YOU THREE! Holy shit that was really annoying… Oh, you're here… Welp, you're on your own for this! Fuck this shit I'm fucking out! Not dealing with this pain and suffering… Wait! It's only Insane difficulty… I guess I can help."_** The author?! Finally! We can get out of this fucking suffering… Wait, he said 'Insane difficulty' as if it wasn't a problem.

"What do you mean by 'Insane difficulty'?" I ask him to which Alex seems curious as well and also happy that we might finally get out of this.

 _ **"Oh, it's nothing… Nightmare is worse when it's this map… Not that it's hard but on NMHC, Sky City is just unfun..."**_ Is that the name of this place? Sky City… I guess that's fitting.

"So are you going to help us or not?" Maddy asks.

 ** _"In a different way, I will. All I have to say is don't fucking fall and die… The golden fans are your friends! Don't stay on the boss for too long… Maddy, you're fine since you can fly."_**

That's all the advice we got until he just fucked off and left us with the problem ahead… I have a feeling I'm going to hate the boss.

So we began the wave…

About half an hour later we had all the monsters killed and a countdown timer appeared starting from 15 and counting down rather slowly compared to normal time.

 **10**

 **9**

 **8**

 **7**

 **6**

 **5**

 **4**

 **3**

 **2**

 **1**

When the countdown was over a large flying aircraft appeared from out of nowhere with cannons and massive fans on its side…

"Holy shit..." Alex muttered as he got a look at the massive aircraft.

We were definitely in for a long battle…

* * *

 _ **And we finish it here for now…**_

 _ **Now, what exactly is this? You may ask and my answer is this is a massive reference to a game that I played a lot once upon a time and still touch every now and then.**_

 _ **This game is known as Dungeon Defenders, this is mostly a reference to the pain and suffering that is the Sky City map, also I just like referencing things I've played to keep it a little interesting… The Goblin Battlecruiser is no truly an unfun boss…**_

 _ **See you next week!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	32. Chapter 30

_**It occurs to me that upon writing this right now that the Goblin Battlecruiser fight is gonna be hard to describe so I need to go back and fight that flying machine of pure suffering, course I can just lower the difficulty… But I only need to know the mechanics. So for this first part, I will be spending the time to learn the mechanics to properly describe the fight… Albeit it will take some time to do and by some time I mean like 30 minutes tops… Bosses are simple as fuck.**_

 _ **Chapter 30: The Big 3 Zero! And the suffering that is the battlecruiser.**_

* * *

The large flying ship began circling the city while bombarding it with massive bombs being shot from the cannons along with missiles from missile launchers that I did not see before.

"So, what's the plan for taking down this thing?" Alex asked.

"There's a bigger problem than that… I can't transform." This shocked me as it meant that we can't cheese the boss.

"So what you're saying is that we need to actually pitch in and help? Well, fuck," I say as we all notice that the missiles were homing in on us and so are the bombs.

I managed to barely dodge them as I gave the flying ship my favourite finger.

Even though the health of the actual battlecruiser was really high our damage was basically inflated to compensate.

"Who's going first?" I ask to which the two just look at me. I know exactly what they are thinking… Assholes.

Walking to the edge of the city near one of the golden fans I await the ship so that I can get on it. Did I mention I hate heights? Because I can't see the ground and there are only clouds…

As the ship made its way closer I took the deadly leap of faith over the fan as I was propelled high into the air as I kind of floated over onto the ship landing on the wooden platform as a door opened to my right letting the stronger monsters onto the deck to probably kill me. To me left was a red square crystal held in some kind of machine most likely the power source keeping this thing in the sky.

So what do I do? I attack the crystal and attempt to dislodge it in some way while avoiding the constant monsters coming to kill me all while a small green goblin looking thing dances in some kind of pirate attire.

I dealt as much damage as I could until the damage stopped being registered as a siren emitted from the ship which clearly wasn't a good sign. I take a look at the edge of the deck noticing that strong winds are emanating from the side prompting me to jump off and hope it can take me back to the city.

I managed to land on one of the rooftops and took a jump down to join the others at the next fan. "Who's going next?" I ask to which Alex just jumps onto the fan as the ship was getting closer.

"Let's repair the defenses while he's up there." Nodding in agreement we took time to repair the defenses which was rather quick.

Alex seemingly finished with the ship landed nearby as we all made a break for the next available fan, that's what we thought until it started turning towards the city as the front of the ship seemed to be letting out some flames which had sent off warning signs for all of us making us bolt to the closest crystal just in time to see the front of the ship act like a massive flamethrower.

"That was a little too close for comfort..." I say as the flames die down and Maddy jumps onto the fan just in time to deal some heavy damage.

"This fight is already getting boring… I wonder why the author was so worried…" And then it happened the reason the author was worried as Maddy was jumping off the ship she missed the city and fell into the abyss. She wasn't dead this happened a few times but it wasn't until the end of the wave when we would end up back in the city.

"Oh… Now I see what he meant. Now it's just us two and a flying ship of many death," I speak as the ship circles around to a fan to which I get ready to jump on to deal some heavy blows.

As I make my jump I take a quick glance at the health bar which seems to be nearly dead sitting at around 8 million left.

The number of monsters on the ship has been increasing and it made it harder to deal with the crystal, however, I still managed to bring it down to at least 5 million before needed to bail to avoid whatever happens after the sirens.

We repeat the process of repairing before Alex prepares to make his jump.

When he returns he ends up fucking up and landing into the abyss just like Maddy had.

"Well, shit. Guess I gotta finish this myself… At least it's basically on its last legs now," I say to myself aloud before waiting for the ship to circle towards the first crystal so I can jump off the fan and finish this damn boss for good.

Landing on the ship I avoid the enemies as best as I can intending to end it quickly with simple Reverse Slice spam… Because that always works when something has low health. Broken ass skill if you ask me. Feel like there is worse but I don't know.

With one last hit, the crystal is dislodged and the ship starts to break down losing its source of power and is now failing to stay in the sky. Thinking quickly I grab the crystal and was about to jump off using the external fans but I clearly wasn't thinking hard enough as the fans are no longer working and I am very much falling with the damned ship.

I was about to just bail with a leap of faith until a plane came by and offered a ride back to the safety of the city, needless to say, I took the offer and hopped on as the pilot took me back to the city where both Maddy and Alex were waiting by the strange box in the rough centre of the map.

Before the pilot left he asked if we needed the crystal or not to which we didn't and handed it over to him.

"Thanks for that lad, I must be going now to give this beauty to the young heroes so they can go save their parents." And so he left just like he came.

With the adventure seemingly being over, we were transported once again but this time back to Gamindustri and somehow in Planeptune.

* * *

Upon returning to the Basilicom we noticed just how beat up we looked "Never again do I want to experience that… I now understand why the author doesn't like that place." Seriously if I had fucked up and didn't do enough damage and ended up falling into the abyss like the other two we would be waiting until a crystal was destroyed so we can try it again. _**(Be glad it wasn't CD…)**_

"We're back!" I called out announcing our presence to the rest of the people that might be in the Basilicom.

We greeted the people who were here which was basically everyone…

"Where have you three been?" Noire asked us.

"Suffering," was my simple answer because it was the most truest thing currently, as that is exactly what the Sky City felt like.

"I'm not even going to ask…" She mumbled as we all took a seat somewhere in the room.

We told the story of our little adventure as the day went on before we returned back to our hotel to get some damn good rest.

* * *

 _ **~ Some years later because nothing really all the interesting happens ~**_

Hey! Guess who gets to narrate again! If you guessed a newly hired narrator, you were wrong. How did you even get that idea? It's me if you didn't know… The guy who writes this story with some of the worst grammar you could possibly see, and so much confusing shit that might as well not make any sense that would only get the answer of 'plot convenience'.

Moving on we find the trio at the Basilicom as they have been working a little hard lately and haven't shown up for some days now, surprisingly Neptune, Nepgear and Plutia are nearby.

"Phew, we can finally take a breather. I hope Histy's doing all right." I fucking doubt you did any work, Neptune.

"I wonder. Those kids don't know how to hold back, so they might have squished her to death..." I remember when I was a child…kinda, I was not the nicest person even as a child, these days among me and some others I am known as the asshole. My job is to be insulting in any possible way or be a dick in any possible way. As a child I was a cheeky cunt, I need say no more.

"I seriously doubt that," James says to the Candidate.

"Hmmm? I hear noises…!" Ahhh the slow and pulled out voice of good ol' Plutia.

"Huh? This feels abnormal." How would you even know this? The fuck?

"Maybe it's the Seven Sages?" Nepgear questioned.

"Uh-oh! In that case, we're in for some baaaaaad news…! Histyyyy…!" And so the girls minus the three book it into Plutia's room where the kids generally play.

"I finally have concrete evidence! Prepare yourselves for prison!" Oh great, it's Abnes.

Alex was like really close to booking it the moment 'evidence' and 'prison' were mentioned in the same sentence til he was reminded that they are in a different dimension where things that happened in the past didn't happen here.

Making their way inside since I prefer to look from the perspective of these three rather than anyone else. Inside they found Abnes holding the poor small fairy.

"I am trying to explain that this is all a big misunderstanding. Please release me! (˳ ›_‹˳ )" Poor lass.

There are three other faces in the room, faces of young children of around age 5.

Kid IF, kid Compa, and Peashy. They are very adorable and if I could I would keep them…

"Hey! Don't bully Histoire!" Kid IF yells at the very annoying member of the Seven Stooges. This is why I bully everyone… Why treat one person like shit when you can treat them all equally like shit.

"Waaaah! A bad person!" Oh great, you made Compa cry… I'm an asshole but making Compa cry should be a crime against humanity.

"Bad girls get kicked!" Peahy said as she then literally kicked the girl right in the legs. This is Peashy's secret 8 billion IQ in the works.

"Ow! That was a serious attack! Even if you're a little girl, I'll get mad if I need to!" Neptune looked completely unfazed by all this.

"Yep. This is the attack quality we've come to expect from the Seven Sages..." That you are right. That you are right.

"Is that girl one of the Seven Sages?" Nepgear asked having never met the girl before.

"Oh great, it's the brat…" Alex said in an unamused voice.

"Yeah. She babbles on and on about protecting little girls of this world or whatever." Why only little girls? What about the boys? Sexist much. Inb4 raging feminists.

"Abnes, don't tease Histy…!" Yeah! That's my job! … You saw nothing!

Abnes turned her attention to the now arrived group of 6 "Oh, you're back. So you were behind the kidnappings, after all! You can't talk your way out of it this time!" I think James could talk his way out of this with a perfectly constructed lie.

"I have been trying to tell you that it is a misunderstanding… (-_-;)" Mini-Histy attempted to reason with the batshit bitch.

"P-ko KICK!" And then Peashy attacked the girl again… Getting me some popcorn for this.

"Gwah! Ow, ow, OW!" Pain and suffering at its finest by the hands of a small child.

"Do your bestest, Pea!" Obligatory ass eating joke goes here.

"Compa, we should help her," kid IF says as she then joins in on the beating of Abnes with Compa as well. This is the life. Eating popcorn while watching three children beat up an annoying midget.

"Ugh! Three against one?! No fair! Ow, ow, ow, ow!" Being fair is boring.

"Woooow… The kids are soooo strong..." Plutia says.

 ** _"More like Abnes is pathetically weak..."_**

"More like Abnes is pathetically weak..." Hey! We said that at exactly the same time! Nice.

"If I could high five you right now I would." Same here, James.

"Well yeah, their mentor was me! They won't lost to fodder like her," Neptune said proudly.

"She's one of the Seven Sages, but Abnes is soooo weak..." Pathetically so.

"Is it okay to leave them alone? Those kids haven't grown up enough to understand mercy…" There is no mercy in the playground, only winners and the one who eats the sand in the sand pit.

"Ya! Hi-yah!" This is.

"I...I'm doing my best!" The most adorable.

"Fall into darkness! Evil, begone!" Thing I have ever seen… Especially little IF being a chuuni.

"This brings a tear to my eye," Alex says wiping away a fake tear.

"What are you? Captain Flynt?" James says with a questioning tone.

"Do I look like a bandit leader that explodes often?" Alex retorts.

"No, stop! It hurts! S-Someone, help me!" Abnes was literally crying as three young children beat her up.

"Hmm, this is a neat opportunity. I think we should wait and see how this plays out for a bit more." Good point, Neptune, I want to finish my popcorn.

"For once, I agree with Neptune. Let her experience our pain for a bit longer. (¯Ш¯" Pain and suffering, truly a beautiful sight… Uhh, you heard nothing.

"I hope this is okay to do..." It is, Nepgear.

* * *

Some time passes…

"Gwah! Seriously, knock it off! Ouch! Stupid… Stupid CPUs!" Don't blame them… This is your fault.

"Whoa! Hey, don't involve me in your pummeling escapade," Neptune tells the nuisance.

"Yay! I win!" Yes, you do Peashy!

"Yippee…!" Yippee indeed, Compa.

"Hmph. All bark and no bite." Did you expect a challenge?

"Yay, you were all soooo cool…! Good job, my little heroines…!" Plutia praised patting their heads.

"Why're you praising them?! As an adult, this is something you should scold them for!" If I was a father I would probably encourage this, I would also encourage my child to shit talk everyone they can on the internet.

"Um, let's go play over there now, kids. Come along..." Nepgear said gesturing to another part of the room to which they happily complied.

"You got what you deserved. (¯¯ˆ¯¯) You made no attempt to hear me out, after all," Mini-Histy tells the member of the Seven Stooges.

"Ugh, well, I know that this is supposed to be a daycare of some kind, but… Th-These children are not being raised properly! Little girls must all be raised correctly, equally!" _ **(Quick note during this… In the game, it actually says 'Ugh, well, I know that this is supposed be a daycare of some kind now, but…' Notice the spelling error? I don't think I ever paid attention to it myself during the times I played this, so seeing this error is kind of interesting.)**_

"Well, if you want them to be raised equally you would need to revive Stalin…" James says aloud getting some confused looks.

"Holy shit! That was fucking golden!" Alex burst out laughing at the comment his friend had made. To be fair it was the most beautiful comment I have seen.

"Yeah, yeah. A beaten dog loves to bark at the moon or whatever." Why are you hitting an adorable Doggo? That's a crime against adorableness. Always pet the Catto and the Doggo.

"Grr! This foolish CPU just made a fool of me!" You made a fool of yourself.

"Neppy, don't tease her too much..." Plutia told her fellow CPU and friend.

"Um, I'm sorry. My sister can be a little off… Here, wipe away your tears with my handy-dandy hankie." Where in the fucking world were you keeping that?

"I won't take a CPU's charity! _*sniff*_ So...you're really not the kidnappers…?" Abnes asks.

"How stubborn! We told you like one gajillion times that we're not. I bet it's the Seven Sages' doing!" Neptune accuses.

"Huh? Why would we do that?!" Cuz Y'all are evil and shit.

"Blanc forced me to read this one detective novel before..." I have a 200 percent idea that you had no real understanding of the book.

"To throw people off, the culprit would frame other people for the crimes he committed." That is the dumbest thing I've heard… And I peak in my stupidity and I am proud of it. 10 bucks says Blanc wrote the book.

"So yeah, that's gotta be exactly what's going on right now! I swear on my grandpa's name!" Wut.

"Wow Neppy, you have a grandpa…?" Wut?!

"No, we don't," Nepgear answers her. "Th-That is the flimsiest logic I've ever heard! That couldn't possibly be true!" Abnes tells the CPU.

"Neptune… (-_-;) Without any evidence, that truly is pushing it..." It's not all that Farfetch'd… That was bad, but it was only included because of the random shit I have playing in the background while writing this.

"As long as the watchful Abnes is with them, I do not believe the Seven Sages would kidnap kids. (¯¯-¯¯)" Mini-Histy tells her completely denying this possibility.

"Neptune, stop trying to act like a detective, you aren't exactly the brightest person," Alex tells her to which she turns her attention to him.

"Audible gasp! You would say that someone like mwah, is an idiot?!" Yes, I would. _**(Quick note once again… I hadn't realised it til now but this scene is like not even the start of the technical chapter and I only just now realised this… See in the museum this scene is before the one that you should encounter beforehand in the list of scenes, this is sometimes common but the amount of scenes it was behind is honestly surprising… This required me to change up some dialogue at an earlier part.)**_

"Ahem! Can we please stop this nonsense!" Mini-Histy calls out before an argument begins.

"I thought you three were out helping the other nations?" Mini-Histy said turning to the three CPUs of Planeptune.

The trio were confused as to what she meant by 'helping the other nations' as they had been away for some time.

"Helping the other nations? What did we miss?" Maddy asked.

"Oh! Right! We didn't tell you at all. Whoops..." Neptune said in realisation.

"Earlier the other CPUs received a message that their nations were being attacked in some kind of way and when we got to Leanbox we found out that the Seven Sages were behind it," Nepgear answered the lone girl of the group.

"Huh?! What do you mean the Seven Sages were attacking Leanbox!?" Abnes said in surprise at hearing such news.

"Abnes did you not know about this?" Mini-Histy inquired.

"Not at all. I never heard anything of this! Ooooh, those jerks are always doing whatever they please!" Seems like they left you out of the plan.

"Whoa, the suspect is trying to resist arrest! Catch that criminal!" I THINK IT'S TIME FOR ME TO SAY IT!

 ** _"STOP! YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW! Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence, your stolen goods are now forfeit."_**

"No escaping the law!" Kid IF told the annoying member of the Stooges Seven.

Abnes was backing up as the three children were getting closer to her.

"Uh, um, s-stay back, kids! I can't waste any more of my time dealing with you!" And she ditched the place…

"Okey-dokey, bye-bye… Be caaaareful..." Plutia said as she waved goodbye to the nuisance of the Seven Sages.

"Ugh, we cornered the culprit and let her escape. I'm a true blue failure of a gumshoe." I'm a green and gold asshole on a roll.

"You were never a detective. But Abnes's reaction was a tad disconcerting… (¯¯ˆ¯¯)" Mini-Histy remarked at the reaction the girl had to her 'buddies' causing problems in the other nations.

"The Seven Sages don't seem to communicate very well," Nepgear remarked.

"Perhaps, but that is nothing more than conjecture. (-_-)" Mini-Histy said.

"Well, where should we head to next? We helped out Leanbox so all that's left is Lastation and Lowee," Nepgear says to which the trio decide to speak up on this situation instead of being quiet like normal.

"How about Lastation? Also, we're going with you whether you like it or not," James says to the Candidate. Is it finally time? Can I finally include the one line I've been waiting forever to fucking use?!

A quick discussion later the group of six now headed towards Lastation… Finally, I can use the one meme I've been waiting to use for a few weeks now…

* * *

 _ **Chapter over, I picked a really late time to write this all because I'm a lazy fuck who would rather sleep then get out of bed… Or just get out of bed.**_

 _ **Hope you all enjoyed this one because the next one will include my long awaited meme…**_

 _ **Another thing to say about Dungeon Defenders, who is the pilot? Well, google it… Or just play the game yourself and find out, it's actually a pretty fun game to play even if it isn't all that popular or played these days… My 750+ hours speak for this, albeit a lot of those were heavy grinding.**_

 _ **See ya!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	33. Chapter 31

_**Hello there! Guess who's late! Me.**_

 _ **Before we get into the actual story an event will occur that has nothing to do with it whatsoever, rather it is a message for the readers and to those who enjoy the internet.**_

 _ **I will not say it here but I will say it is a sad occurrence.**_

* * *

 _Special Event: …_

Rain. It suits the situation well. Normally cold weather is not my favourite thing in the world, but I will deal with it for now as it is worth the trouble.

Here we all stand in front of a grave. All the goddesses, their candidates, and even those from the other dimension.

When the news hit it was quite a surprise and a shock. Some could not believe it at first. When the communities and message boards online reported the event that had occurred.

The grave was built personally by us three as we were the only ones who really knew of this. After events long passed I was making a short trip home to get some things, I had decided to browse the internet and Reddit before I would make the return trip, however, when I learned of what had happened I made it my goal to create a monument in honour of such a thing.

"So, why exactly are we all gathered around here in the rain?" Black Heart asked as she was getting rather impatient.

"It is a funeral, so be respectful, Noire," I told her in a calm voice.

She was about to retort until Purple Heart put a hand on her shoulder shaking her head as it was not appropriate for the situation.

The grave itself was not extravagant, it was enough to merit a memory though.

It was time for the speech before we would all leave.

I moved in front of the grave and faced everyone to give say the important words.

"We are gathered here today in memory of a legend who gained immense fame over the internet bringing even the worst of people together to support his cause. The internet is a strange place for stranger people, a place where people aren't the nicest out there. All over the internet exists memes."

"One such meme became immensely popular and had become well known all over. Some digging was done and some news was heard. When the man who became an internet legend got help from the thousands of people on the internet it was truly a glorious day to be alive."

"Recently, however, on August 21st, 2018, the man was said to have passed away. Even after the internet pitched in and helped battle a disease, it was only temporary."

"That day the internet wept, as a legend was written in history."

"As the legend ascends to the place only known as 'meme heaven', we gather here to honour his memory."

"For he will be."

"Forever."

"Number."

"1."

… _**I wonder if anyone expected this. This entire little piece is in memory of**_ _ **Stefán Karl Stefánsson,**_ _ **who passed away on the 21**_ _ **st**_ _ **from cancer. Take a good moment of silence for this legend…**_

…

…

…

…

…

 _ **My piece has been said. Let us move on with the story.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 31:**_ _ **Title relevancy is boring… Have a cookie.**_

The trip to Lastation was short for the group of people… Makes sense since fighting monsters ain't much of a problem when there are 6 people…

Reaching Noire's office-bedroom after an 'exhausting' trip they greet the tsundere CPU of Lastation.

"Hey, Noire! How's it hanging?" Neptune greets as she runs in first.

Noire looks rather pissed off "Are you stupid?! _**(Yes, I am)**_ Can't you tell by looking?!" Plutia seemed rather sad at the sudden outburst towards, well, everyone "Yikes! She's yelling at me..." Wow, what an asshole. I dunno why Y'all lookin' at me.

"Oh! N-No, um, I wasn't yelling at you, Plutia…" Noire says in an attempt to cheer Plutia up "It's just that Neptune came in here with that stupid voice of hers after I already felt irritated, so, um…"

"Don't you think it's a bit awful how differently you treat us?" This is why I treat everyone like shit. No one is special when it comes to my insults… Okay maybe a few people are, but! Those people probably deserved it.

"Maybe it's because Noire secretly likes Neptune," Alex says with a ra- Hold the fuck up! You took my glasses, you shithead! Knew I shouldn't have left them lying around…

"I do not secretly 'like' Neptune! Ugh, you are such a pain," Noire retorts with an annoyed tone.

"Denial. Always the first sign," Alex says while shaking his head with a smirk upon his face.

Noire just mutters something under her breath before clearing her throat "This is no time for chatting. I can't talk right now, period. I'm way too busy right now, okay?"

"No reason to be so distant. We'll help if you're in trouble, so just say the magic word!" Abra Kadabra? … I need to stop trying to force 'funny'. I'm better at insulting people and making really bad jokes that somehow are funny.

"We'll do aaaanything…" Plutia says cheerfully. James upon hearing those words immediately spoke up "Hold up, I never agreed to doing 'anything'."

Plutia just gives him this look that I believe all of us know what it means, as he is currently backing away ever so slightly while looking rather nervous.

"I appreciate it, but I can't show you my citizens' personal information or my nation's secrets…" But we can show them your personal secrets, yes? "Not like you'd be any help with this sort of work, anyway."

James whispers into Alex's ear "Got any dirt on ol' tsun over there?" He nods in response with a mischievous smile.

"How rude, dude! We can do anything when it really counts! I mean, think about what happened like 15 chapters ago!" (Note: I went back to chapter 13 just to check something… Turns out I took a rather good calculated guess as the events chapter 2 begins on chapter 13… What a fucking coincidence? Am I right?)

"Holy crap… I just took a look and it was like exactly 15 chapters ago… Either she has a really good memory, she's a ninja who quick read back that far, or the author told her," James says while reading something off his phone. I ain't revealing my secrets, also you have no cell service in this dimension… How the fuck?!

"Ummmmm, I don't get it…" Plutia looked rather confused.

"Now that you mention it, I guess you were useful back then… But you're still rival CPUs, so…" Noire responds as she remembers the events from like… 3 months ago?

Nepgear has been looking around the room and seems to have noticed something off "Um, Noire?" She speaks up towards the CPU.

"Now you? Geez, what is it?" She asks the younger sister of Planeptune "Why do you have a camera set up in such a secretive spot?" She responds, pointing to a rather small camera hidden in the room.

"Camera? I don't have one in here…" Noire stops for a moment and looks at Alex very angrily "What. Did. You. Do," she says rather harshly.

Alex just waves his hands in front of him "I swear I didn't do it… This time," he responds but mutters the last part under his breath.

"Maybe she likes to record herself working to watch later. You probably watch yourself and act all satisfied, saying, "I'm so cool!" Yeah, uh, kind of gross, Noire," Neptune says with a slightly disgusted look.

"Sounds reeeeally creepy…" Plutia remarks the absolute truth.

"No, I don't! And if you didn't have anything to do with it, then I have no idea why a camera is in here!" Noire responds to the group.

"Who's responsible!? Who put this in here?" Noire asks as Nepgear goes and grabs the camera from its hiding place "Let me see this… There isn't a microphone, but it seems to be transferring the video wirelessly," Nepgear tells her.

"Basically, if you didn't set it up, then that means someone else is secretly taping you…" Who would ever want to tape her? … Don't answer that actually.

"Secretly taping me?! Yuck! That's way too creepy!" Noire responds visibly creeped out.

"Yeah, well, that's the fanbase you've gained for yourself, Noire," Neptune starts as she takes a step back from her "The super shady, strange denizens."

This only served to make her a mad tsun "Apologise this instant! Not to me, but to my followers! With all the sincerity in the world!" Neptune didn't want to anger her any further and apologised "I'm sorry. I went too far. I regret my previous statement."

"Author stop being a spaz." What the fuck?! I can understand Noire getting spied on… But me!?

"So, Gear, you got a clue to who setup up that camera?" Maddy asks wanting to move on from this getting too hectic.

"Hmm, I have no idea… But if it doesn't have a microphone, maybe there's an audio device nearby…" Nepgear then pulls out the strangest mechanical device I've ever seen "So… Ta-da! My secret wiretap finder-ma-bob!" I don't even want to know where you hid that.

"Where were you even keeping that?!" Alex exclaims being surprised at the item literally coming from nowhere.

"Finder-ma-bob…?" Plutia asks the young candidate as she looks quite confused.

"Yes! I made this device myself! Each and every part was carefully chosen after hours of deliberation…" Nepgear responds.

"No, we don't care about that. Why are you just carrying something like that around with you?" Noire asks the most important question here.

Nepgear seems confused by the question "Huh? All girls walk around with one these days, don't they?" I'm no girl… But I'm 100 percent sure that no normal girl has those with them…

"Ohhhh, really…? I better go get one, too..." Plutia, no.

"No, they don't. I've never met a girl as special as my dear sister who would do such a thing," Neptune responds to her fellow CPU.

The device Nepgear is using seems to be doing…something "Oh, I'm getting a reaction. Here...and here, and… Goodness, three in total!" I do not like where this is going… Actually, I do. "I can even triangulate the signal so we can find out where the culprit is downloading the data feeds."

"R-Really? How handy," Noire responds to the strange tech geek of a girl.

"I'm a nerd… But this, this is just an obsession…" James mutters to himself.

"Hehe! I'm super happy to be of help," Nepgear says happily before putting on a determined(?) look "Okay, let's trace the data. They must've heard us talking, so we need to act fast or they'll get away." I seriously doubt that…

"What an unusual girl. She really is your sister," Noire says to the Nep beside her.

"Yep, it's one of her cute quirks. It doesn't come out that often, and it's rarely ever useful, but…" Neptune responds as Plutia seems impressed "Woooow! So does this mean you can make biiiiig robots, Neppy Jr.?"

"Whoa, cool those mecha jets. If you ask her that, she really will end up building one!" Why do I get the feeling that she's already attempted this before…

With the new info, they all set out to find the creep who is behind this using Nepgear's strange device as a locator of sorts.

* * *

The group arrives at an old abandoned factory on the outskirts of Lastation where the signal on Nepgear's device seems to be strongest.

"Hey, Author dude, what's up with the weird hand movements and such?" Can I not enjoy music in fucking peace?! Holy fucking shit.

"Nope! Unless you want to share it with the rest of us!" Maybe when we have a party I'll consider it…

"But you can't just have a party without something to celebrate!" Neptune responds.

"Then what are we supposed to celebrate? Nothing interesting will be happening for a few months," James responds.

"Unless you count the grand final next month. But the author isn't a sports guy and already has plans for those days." Yeah! I got important plans.

Nepgear stops moving for a moment to survey the area in front of them.

"I'm picking up a powerful reaction. It's close. Right ahead, maybe," Nepgear speaks up as her device seems to be leading her to the source of the creep.

"Mmm, correctamundo, honey. Maybe this problem was too easy for such a smartypants," a feminine yet male voice speaks up from the shadows.

"I sense a disturbance…" Alex says with closed eyes.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" Noire yells out to the voice that came from the very obvious shadows.

"Aww, but Noire didn't solve it… It's hard to strike a balance between the smart ones and the dim ones," the voice continues on.

"Wow Noire, you were dumb aaaaall along…?" Plutia asks the tsundere CPU of Lastation. Hey! Nobody steals my title of stupidity! Except Neptune.

"I had inklings of suspicions. She's dependable and all, but her brain's not wired too well," Neptune remarks.

"You're the very, very, very last people I want to hear that from! Dammit, show yourself already!" Noire calls out once again to which a pink robot with glowing green lights comes out of hiding "How impatient, darling. I'll come out without you rushing me."

"Holy shit… It's a moderator of r/dankmemes in the flesh...metal…" Alex remarks completely surprised at the robot(?).

"I assume you're the one who's doing whatever you want with my nation, huh?" Noire responds harshly, clearly not wanting to deal with any more shit.

"Wowee, a neat robot…! No, wait… Is that more like a power suit? What the goodness gracious wow…!" Her eyes are fucking sparkling?! What the fuck!?

"What's a 'moderator of r/dankmemes'?" Neptune asks the most important question.

"Yeah… I want to knoooow, too…" Plutia joins in.

"They are people who are known to be the absolute gayest of the gay," Alex responds with a blank page book and- My fucking glasses! Stop taking my shit!

"I don't get it…" Plutia says with a confused look, "Me neither, Plutie…" Neptune responds with a similar look.

"Smh my head," Alex responds while shaking his head.

The robot...man...power suit…thing seems to be fawning over Noire rather creepily "Ooh, there's my Noire…! The real deal, in the flesh…!"

"Wh-What's up with this guy? He's creeping me out," Noire says as she takes a step back.

"Golly gee, sorry. I got a bit too worked up!" Suddenly out of nowhere floating blade-like objects appear behind the weird robot dude's back.

"Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Seven Sages' wizard, the one who works in the shadows… The unstoppable super hacker, Anonydeath!" More introductory pop-up text… Where the fuck is this shit coming from!

"I would be tickled as pink as my power suit if you gave me a cutesy nickname like Anny, Noire." God this guy creeps me out.

"No way! Why would I do that?!" Noire tells the creepy robot.

"Soooo… why do you talk all girly even though your voice sounds like a booooooy…?" Plutia asks confused.

"Sweetie, don't fret over the boring details. Gender is a non-issue in the hacking world, you see," Anonydeath tells her "Besides, my heart is more pure than the hearts of anyone else in the whole world!"

"I would argue that the author has a more pure heart than you… And he has said some things that would get a lot of people offended." James is correct… There are things I have and could have said that would make Iris Heart sound like a lovely person.

"He's a cool-looking robot and all, but underneath the tech, he seems like a real loser." Hey just like every other degenerate on the internet! …

"Whoa. Nep Jr.'s passion is cooling off faster than my hot pockets," Neptune says.

"He's gonna drive me nuts… What's your game? Why are you messing with my nation?" Noire asks the weirdo.

"That's because..."

* * *

 _ **Hey, look a cliffhanger!**_

 _ **I took quite the extra time making this… Seriously it's now Saturday and it's 6 am… I should have done this on Wednesday… But I was being a lazy piece of shit, during that time, however, I was thinking about the earlier chapters and even the description for the story.**_

 _ **Remember when I said that I just go with the flow with writing? Those early chapters are a good example… They make so little sense to me tbh, though I could probably go back and clean them up in some way with grammar and shit… Especially the desc as it just feels too forced for me.**_

 _ **This is something I've never really done before in my life, and when I look back on those early chapters and then look at these ones I see just how much improvement I've made in these few months compared to my entire life! I've always had bad punctuation which is why I would write in short sentences rather than long paragraphs that look like a complete mess.**_

 _ **If I could go back in time I would tell my younger self that he sucks with grammar and punctuation… A bit mean but it might help improve it… Doubt it actually as even when school taught this shit I gave little fucks as I had a very good feeling I would never actually need it, yet here I am, 31 chapters in writing something I never even thought I would do! All because I make stupid decisions and bets with myself!**_

 _ **For some reason, RNG likes to mock me… When I decide to do something stupid and say something I will probably regret RNG comes in like "Sup, Cunt! Heard you want this item and that you are making a stupid decision along with it! Enjoy your reward dumbass!"**_

 _ **I think that's enough ranting for now… Gotta publish this.**_

 _ **See ya!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	34. Chapter 32

_**I should seriously fix my sleep problems…**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 32: Does anyone actually even read these things?**_

"That's because...I love you, Noire," Anonydeath starts off the chapter with a bang.

"Uh...what?" Did you not hear him? He said **"THAT'S BECAUSE...I LOVE YOU, NOIRE."**

"Woooooow, a real confession…!" Plutia says with clasped hands and a bright smile.

"Huh… I would have thought that Neptune would be the one to get a confession first… Fuck now I owe his ass some money," James mutters. That's right, pay up bitch! Life lesson: Don't make bets you will never win.

"Wh-Wh-What did you just–?!" Noire stuttered trying to process the situation but ultimately failing.

"That raven-black hair, those sexy and taut twintails… A mature face that still glows with innocence… That contrary attitude and having hints of otakudom… Mmmm! You are a straight ball into my strike zone!" Alright now, this is just getting creepy as fuck.

"What the hell're you saying?! What does that even have to do with being a super hacker?!" Noire responds slightly (Quite*) flustered.

"Well, shy nerds like me tend to tease the girl they like, no? This is that!" Anonydeath responds with that creepy overly flamboyant voice.

"Objection! James is by far the nerdiest and least talkative person we know, outside of the internet that is… If he liked someone he would never be teasing them about it, albeit he wouldn't even show any sort of feelings that would claim he liked anyone… Hard to tell really when he becomes this overly talkative asshole who only knows how to throw insults like Bahroo throws on They Are Billions," Alex tells the whole group and Anonydeath.

"He isn't wrong… The most creative insults come from him directly…" Maddy joins in solidifying the opinion that James is a lot more two-faced then the others thought.

"Creative insults? What?" Neptune asked with a tilted head.

"James if you would so kindly take the stage," Alex says gesturing him to come forth.

"Listen up, fuck nuggets!" James began grabbing a microphone seemingly out of no-where "Just kidding… We don't have time to do this…" Aww… You're no fun.

"So, anyway… Congrats, Noire. In this dimension, you not only have a friend, but a boyfriend," Neptune says with a rather awkward smile.

"He's never going to be my boyfriend!" Noire retorted at the girl in purple angrily, "Why would you like me if your heart is pure like a maiden or whatever?!" She asked as she looked at the creepy in armour.

"When it comes to love, I am pure. Purity is innocence, so what's wrong with an innocent love between girls?" No matter how you put that, Anonydeath, you are not innocent… Scratch that, I would vehemently argue that no human being or goddess could truly be innocent. Change my mind.

"There's a lot of stuff wrong with this situation!" Noire responded angrily.

"Mmmm… I would watch you work day after day through my secret cameras and I never once grew bored…" Anonydeath continued on, creepily if I might add. "You were so cute, sitting at your desk, holding back your tears of frustration while trying your best…" I am not sure how to respond to this…

"The kind of fans Noire gets are...um..." Weird? Creepy? Batshit? In need of help? We can do this all day y'know.

"I call these weird fans 'the fungus amongus'. This is proof that they exist and thrive in Noire's presence," Neptune says.

"Nuh-uh! Shut up! This one's an outlier!" Noire responds angrily trying to deny the possibility that her fans are weirdos.

"Oh, and the times you would pose in front of the mirror for fun, or when you'd dress up in cosplay outfits… That faint smile on your face as you'd check your external hard drive. I love it all!" …

"Ahhhh! No! NONONONONO!" Noire shouted.

"Noire, do you really do all of that?" Nepgear asked.

"Don't talk to her right now," Neptune said as she pulled Nepgear a meter away from Noire "She's a bad influence. Nepgear, try to keep your distance from her, okay?"

"I...I don't do those things! He's making it all up! I'd...I'd never do…!" Noire was attempting to defuse the situation but was clearly failing, epically.

"Oh, my aching heart! If you say such stubborn things, I'll broadcast all my video data worldwide!" Anonydeath replies while clutching his metal chest.

"What?! S-Stop it! Please, anything but that!" Noire pleaded.

"I kid. I would never waste my data like that. I'm keeping those videos aaaaall to myself…" You wouldn't share with a bro like me?

"Ugh… This guy wins the prize. He's the worst villain we've faced by a wide margin," Noire says with a creeped out face.

"Nah, he's not that bad! Maybe to you, but definitely not to us… Forward some of those pictures to my email," Alex said waving his hand nonchalantly before whispering to the creepy robot.

"Mmm, what a delightful expression! Nothing beats seeing the real thing. Webcams pale in comparison!" Anonydeath said happily before giving a quick unnoticeable thumbs up towards Alex.

"Awww, heeeey… You're not allowed to tease Noire..." Plutia said as the air suddenly got colder and the look on her face screamed 'Angry'.

"Plutia..." Noire said slightly relieved that her friend was defending her… Or so she thought.

"Oh, why's that? It would be such a waste not to tease someone who is such an easy, tempting target," Anonydeath responded not really reading the atmosphere very well.

"Well, yeeeeah, I know that…" READ THE MOOD PEOPLE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

"You do?!" Noire said rather surprised at Plutia's words.

"I say we all take a good 10 steps back from Plutia…" Alex said as he proceeded to move away with everyone minus Noire and Anonydeath following.

"But, ummmm, there's only one person who's allowed to tease her…" Plutia said as the regular really bright light engulfed the small girl "And that is ME!" I'm just going to hide over here… If she finds me talking shit I'm a dead man.

"Standing over here was a very smart choice…" Alex muttered.

"Sh-She's appeared again… This Plutia is so, so scary…" Nepgear said with a fearful look.

"H-Hey! Don't transform just because you feel like it!" Noire exclaimed at the sudden transformation.

"Ooh, frightening. I figured we could get along as kindred spirits..." Anonydeath mused.

"Unfortunately, I am quite possessive. Noire, Neppy, Neppy Jr, The Author, James, Alex…"

 ** _"Hey! Why am I included in this?!"_**

"Hey! Why are we included in this!?"

"They are ALL mine!" Iris Heart declared as she cracked her whip-sword. Maybe I should just back off…

"Her fire hath spread to lick our boots, too. We gotta transform and protect ourselves, kid sis o' mine!" Neptune shouted with a slightly scared look.

"R-Right!" Nepgear agreed as they both transformed to save their own hide "At least in these forms, our personalities are more able to resist her," Neptune said with a sigh of relief.

"Aww… But I don't change much…" Nepgear said looking rather down.

"Well, we can't really do much to protect ourselves from _her…_ Actually, maybe James can with that stupid healing BS…" Alex reminded the two CPUs while making a little joke.

"No amount of healing can save me from the mental scarring that could potentially happen…" James said with a shiver as he thought about what she might actually do.

Maddy just stayed silent and sighed deciding that it wasn't worth the effort to even transform.

"Goodie, everyone transformed! I like that you all show more skin, but the cute factor has gone down," Anonydeath said as he clapped his hands.

"Noire, could you pretty please stay in your normal form for me?" Anonydeath asked.

"No. As if I'd listen to any request you'd make!" Noire coldly stated doing the same boring transformation sequence like the others "You've invaded my privacy, so I need to pay you back in spades!"

 ** _"Noire, if you pay someone in spades the retard PKers will come looking for you… They really need those spades."_**

"Aww, I don't like this one. Her hair turned all white, too..." Anonydeath said sounding rather disappointed.

"How sad. Your lust for Noire is that shallow, is it?" Iris Heart mocked before putting on a rather deadly smile "For tormenting what belongs to me without permission, you'll be punished quite severely…"

"I can't wait for it! While I love to dish it out, I'm into taking it sometimes, too!" Stop sounding happy about this shit! It's creeping me the fuck out.

"Don't hold back, Plutia! Break him down to the atomic level!" Noire gave her the 'A-OK' to go hog wild.

"Mmm, Noire gave me the go-ahead… I didn't plan to hold back anyway, so this works out well," Iris Heart said with a pleased smile.

"If those two take things too far, we're going to have to stop them. Do you understand?" Neptune said to the rest of the group.

"B-But… I dunno if I can…" Nepgear said looking rather scared at having to confront Iris at all.

"No. I want to enjoy the show with some popcorn," Alex stated.

"I'm just going to run…far away," James gave his input on what would happen if things were getting a little out of hand. Maddy just stayed silent… Well, silent as in muttering things like 'Idiots' and 'Wuss'.

"Although, it's not my favourite hobby to lie back and let you do whatever you want with me..." Anonydeath spoke up "So maybe I'll resist you...just a little bit!" So much creep…

While he said he would resist, those blade-like objects seemed to be doing nothing as instead, he pressed some buttons which opened up some doors allowing robots to enter the fray and fight in his stead.

The robots weren't all that threatening… A few Bits and 2 R4's, however, I am not a fan of boring fights like these… There's a reason I such at writing fight scenes over writing background comedy… Because most of the boss fights are too simple to complicate, so sit back relax and pretend you see Anonydeath getting his ass whooped in whatever way you want! Go wild!

* * *

"Ow, ow, owwww… I give up! Okay, I surrender!" Anonydeath spoke as he raised a white flag.

"Finished already? Pathetic," Iris Heart said with a grin.

"I told you that I'm more of a behind-the-scenes type. So much barbaric action doesn't suit me," Anonydeath said as he dusted his metal suit "But as I think about the future, perhaps I should give myself a tune-up," he continued on "But if I do that, my measurements won't be perfect like they are now! Gosh, I just can't decide..."

"Blegh, I think I just vomited in my mouth…" Alex said as he faked a gagging motion.

"You're mumbling to yourself, but your concerns don't matter because you're about to be destroyed," Noire told the creep still looking rather pissed.

"Really now? I suppose the beautiful are said to die young, and dying by my lover's hand isn't so bad…"

"Hmph. I won't give you that honour. Plutia, go ahead," Noire told her as she moved away to let the sadistic goddess through.

"Hmm. Torturing those who don't fight back isn't very fun, but if Noire asks me, I cannot refuse her," Iris Heart said as she licked her blade.

"Ahh, how horrible! You won't even grant my final request…" Your final request is shit.

"I feel like we're starting to become the bullies, somehow..." But being the bully is fun!

"Stay quiet. At times like this, it's best not to get involved," Neptune told her little sister.

"I almost want to join in… Almost," Alex muses to himself.

Iris Heart cracked her sword whip and raised it to strike "That's how it is. Ready…?" She asked with a rather frightening smile.

"Anything I try to say now will fall on deaf ears, I take it? It's a trivial matter, but if I die, all of my Noire footage will be broadcast worldwide automatically." Hmm… Alright, I think you're redeeming yourself in my eyes.

"True. That's a very trivial and rather exciting matter now…" Iris Heart agreed which made Noire do a double take "W-Wait! Just a second!"

"What is it? You say to go, and then you say to stop…" Iris Heart asked looking rather unhappy that her fun was interrupted.

"You just let a completely outrageous threat slip out, didn't you?! DIDN'T YOU?!" Noire shouted at her companion.

"How is it outrageous? I wrote a program to do that, is all," Anonydeath told her waving it off rather casually.

"Why would you program something like that?!" Noire yelled at the metal man in anger.

"Because if I am to die, I would like to die while the one I love watches over me, and I watch her… That's why I decided it would be a lovely time to let everyone see what I saw in you, as I move on…" Anonydeath answered the question rather easily.

"Wh…Wha…What…?" Noire was taken aback by this sudden reveal and looked rather creeped out.

"Nepgear, James, can either of you stop that program?" Neptune asked the two.

"I'm not that big on software. I'm more of a hardware girl…" Nepgear answered.

"Uhh, I'm mostly more experienced with parts and hardware… I know some things about software and coding but I never got to that point in life so I never got my certificates or degrees…" James replied with an awkward smile.

"The moment we need you and you turn out to be a bigger disappointment than the Author…" Alex said with a sigh. HEY! He's right though…

Iris Heart caught wind of the conversation but not all of it "Hmm? Is someone tossing around words like 'soft' and 'hard'? Share with the class, if you would."

"Eeeeep! I-It's not the kind of discussion you'd find interesting, Plutia, I promise!" Nepgear responded in a panic.

Noire seemingly done with this whole thing spoke yet not loud enough to be heard properly "Ugghh… Just go."

"Hmm? What? Did you say something?" Anonydeath asked wanting to know what she had said.

"I'll let you go this time, so hurry up and run away!" Noire shouted in anger.

"Really? You're such a sweetie! I've fallen for you even harder, my angelic Noire," Anonydeath said.

"Oh, how boring. I was excited at the thought of Noire becoming the laughingstock of the world…" Iris Heart said with a look of, well, boredom.

"Don't even joke around about that!" Noire scolded.

"I think I'll accept your offer," Anonydeath said as he floated away in his metal suit and when he was a safe distance away he turned back to everyone "Oh, and Noire, one last thing."

"What? There's something else?!" The girl in question responded looking rather irritated that this is still going on.

"Don't worry. The program thing was a big, fat fib," Anonydeath said probably smirking behind that shitty helmet.

"What." Noire was processing this information very carefully it seemed "I already told you that precious footage is for my eyes only! Okay, ta-ta!" He said before leaving the scene quickly before Noire could react in time to catch him.

"W-Wait, dammit! Ugh! You better be ready to die the next time we meet!" Noire shouted in anger at having being played like a fiddle.

* * *

After he left the girls all did their boring as fuck un-transformation sequence.

"Man! So frustrating! What was UP with that guy?!" Noire said looking rather irritated that all of this happened.

"He totally pulled a fast one on you. I guess you're no match for a smart fell like that fella," Neptune told the tsundere.

"Don't talk about me like I'm dumb! It's extra insulting, coming from you!" She told Neptune with a slightly embarrassed look.

"He got away… I wonder if we'll have to face him again eventually…" Nepgear said worriedly.

"Despite his creepiness, it's quite amusing seeing Noire get teased like that," Alex said with a smirk.

"Umm, when that enemy is around, Noire gets all red and squirmy and cute, so I kinda hope we doooo…" Plutia your true intentions are leaking, not that I mind them.

"Plutia, is your normal personality getting corrupted by your HDD one?" Nepgear asked with a slightly nervous look. SlightlyNervousDoggo.

"Either way, our business in Lastation has come to a close," Neptune said cheerfully.

"Indeed it has, I say we get a move on to Lowee," Maddy said finally saying something rather than being silent and serious.

"Yepperoni! So let's get going and leave Noire here all alone because that's how she likes it!" Neptune said cheerfully as she ran off.

"Waaaaaait for me, Neppy…!" Plutia called out as she ran after her.

"Cliffhanger?"

 ** _"Cliffhanger."_**

* * *

 _ **Welcome to the after party! Nothing interesting happens. For every successful reference spotted and known I will digitally send you a cookie! Don't question how I know if you figured out the references, that's a secret. 2.5k Views as well, neat a new achievement has unlocked.**_

 _ **See you eventually™.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	35. Chapter 33

_**I originally had an idea for a unique aspect to this chapter but decided to scrap it because I feel it would be difficult to write as it is one giant reference like the other unique things that happen, also doing this because describing shit is hard and trying to assign 6 people to a different role and build each is harder.**_

 _ **No matter, I will try and think up something unique along the way.**_

 _ **Also, ignore the order I'm doing these in because honestly, it doesn't matter what order you do them in game.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 33: AM I SPEAKING LOUD ENOUGH FOR YOU TO HEAR ME?**_

The trip to Lowee was a short one for our heroes but they finally made it to the Basilicom to see what's up and how they can help.

Plutia ran in to go greet the CPU first "Blanny, we've come to help…!"

"Wow, it's more peaceful than I was thinking it would be. I was ready for a sea of blood and other such imagery," Neptune remarked as she was surprised nothing was too bad.

"I think we're all a bit surprised, Neptune," James told her before turning towards Blanc "So what happened? There seems to be some damage but no culprit..." He asked.

"Did you have anything to do with this?" Nepgear asked Blanc.

"No, I haven't done anything. Actually, it was some guards stationed here who managed to convince the big robot of the Seven Sages to stop destroying the Basilicom and instead destroy some rocks in the mines," Blanc answered the candidate.

"Guess they specced into the [Persuasion] skill, I wonder what kind of build they're using?" James mused to the information which got some confused looks from everyone minus Maddy and Alex.

"So ever since that happened, he's been working for you here…?" Plutia asked still a little confused.

Blanc nodded as she answered the sleepy CPU "Yeah. Guards are watching over him just in case, but it sounds like we're mining at a tremendous pace. Every tool has its use, as they say."

"Then we have no reason to be here. We came all this way to help, too..." Nepgear said rather disappointedly.

"Not true. I was planning to go pay that annoying robot back for destroying my Basilicom. You're free to join me," Blanc answered the candidate with a pissed off look on her face.

"Whoa, it's rare to get a party invite from Blanc! I wanna go!" Neptune said while pumping her fist at the prospect of the mini adventure.

"I wanna go, toooooo…!" Plutia said happily, wanting to join in on the fun mini adventure.

"I have no qualms with this… It gets rather boring when I ain't killing monsters. How about you two?" James told Blanc before looking to his two friends and asking if they wanted to join in, to which they nodded in response.

"It's decided, then. We'll gang up on him and break him down to his base components!" Blanc said.

The group then followed Blanc towards the mines in Lowee to deal with the robot known as Copypaste.

* * *

As they got deeper into the mines the loud booming voice of the big robot was heard.

"Hyaaaah! Okay, let's get one more!" He shouted from wherever he was in the mines as they started to shake from the sheer force of probably from him smashing up some rocks.

"Sure thing bud, leave it to me! Hyaaaah!" He was seemingly talking to someone but the group was too far away to hear the other conversationist.

The mine shook again as they were getting closer.

"Will this damn shaking ever stop!?" Blanc yelled angrily as she regained her balance.

"There they are!" Neptune pointed out as the big robot came into view along with a few workers in the mines.

"Ahh, the joys of being praised for destroying things, and for being able to laugh together with friends! I may have finally found where I truly belong!" Copypaste boomed.

"Hahaha! You're exaggerating, Sir Copy," one of the workers told him.

"But seriously, if you stayed here, it'd be a great help for all of us," another worker told him.

"Y-You mean it?" Copypaste asked.

The group was just observing the situation being completely baffled by what's going on.

"You're just saying that because it makes your job a lot easier," a worker said the previous worker who spoke.

"Heh. You figured me out," the previous worker said with a laugh.

"Dawww! Why, you! It's ten years too early for you to tease your buddy like that!" Copypaste told the third worker.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" They all laughed together. This is like one of those rare moments with the lads… With less alcohol.

"What the hell…?" Blanc finally spoke up for the group breaking the awkward silence.

"More like, how'd things end up this way?" Neptune remarked as she took in the whole scene into her brain.

"They seem to be getting along… I'd feel bad about butting in…" I would too, Nepgear… I'd definitely join in though.

"His name is Copypaste, riiiight? He was a nice robot all along…" Plutia said cheerfully.

"I really want to join in…" Alex said with a sigh to which James put a hand on his shoulder and silently agreed with him.

"But seriously, you guys, I can't be in a place like this forever," Copypaste told them all with a saddened look upon his metal face.

"Huh? Why not, friend?" The second worker asked.

"Is it the Seven Sages? Come on, man, you don't have to go back with those mean people," the first worker told him.

"Yeah! If you work hard, I'm sure Lady Blanc will forgive you!" The third worker told him.

"Yes, I know. I know in my burning, passion-fueled heart that your words are the truth. But… Even then, the Seven Sages are long-time companions of mine with whom I've been through thick and thin!" Copypaste answered the workers.

"I cannot say that they are good people. There were times when we even came to blows! But! For me alone to roll over and succumb to a CPU… It is an act of betrayal that I cannot commit!" He boomed as he continued his amazing speech.

"At least you know your place," Blanc told the big robot grabbing his and the worker's attention.

"Oh?! You've come, CPUs!" Copypaste remarked as he noticed the extra people.

"I'll have you pay for destroying my Basilicom," Blanc told him angrily.

"I'd have it no other way! But of course, I won't let myself lose to the likes of you!" Copypaste retorted with fire in his heart.

"W-Wait, Lady Blanc!" The first worker shouted getting her attention "Sir Copy is a real cool guy!" The second worker added "Sure is! I've never seen a guy look so happy while breaking rocks!" The third worker finished.

Blanc was now thoroughly pissed off "Tch, you blockheads! Loweeans are not allowed to get cozy with any of the Seven Sages!" She shouted at the 3.

"Dude, are you really the one to say that?" Neptune asked her with the smuggest look on her face.

"Sh-Shut up! Stop dredging up the past!" Blanc yelled at her.

"I appreciate it, my friends, but please stand down. It'd be awful if you got injured in the fight!" Copypaste told the workers.

"No need to worry about us!" The first worker responded, "Do you really gotta fight, buddy?" The second worker asked.

"Yeah. It's the one thing I can't back down from," Copypaste told the three "Hey, guys… Mind if I say one last thing?"

"Aww, chief, don't say 'last'!" The third worker told the big robot.

"Just listen to me! Even now, I see the Seven Sages as my comrades…" He started "Right…" The second worker said, "But if they are my comrades, that makes you guys and I…" He paused again "Dear friends!"

"S-Sir Copy…!" The first worker started "We feel...the same way about you…!" The third worker finished.

"Ugh, you're making this harder to go through with! Hurry it up!" Blanc told them as she transformed "Hey! You four transform too, dammit!" White Heart yelled at the only four girls who could do that.

"Yeah, yeah. Here we go!" Neptune sighed as she went first "This is such a mess. We are definitely the villains here."

"It's fine to be bad girls, no? I've never been a champion of justice, myself…" This one does not like that tone… This one is going to hide until the battle is over.

"Um, we don't need to force ourselves to fight if we don't want to…" Nepgear said a little nervous.

"We came this far, so I won't hear any more complaints! If I say jump, you damn well better jump!" Is this one of those moments where I'm supposed to be the big asshole and say something worse? I'll just let you all to your imagination on what I might say…

Maddy and the boys decided to stay silent as they really did not want to deal with them right now and just wanted this to end.

"Give me your support, friends! RAAAAHHHHH! Bring it on, CPUs!" Copypaste taunted.

* * *

 _ **Ending it early because I'm too tired for this shit right now… I really should have just done this yesterday but I was all like 'Vidya gam' and then was like 'Slep'.**_

 _ **I'll try and make up for it next week. Keyword 'try'.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	36. Chapter 34

_**Henlo! … You know the past few days were interesting... I need help.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter 34:*Quirky chapter title goes here***_

All right let's just get this rolling… And, there!

Because no one likes boring repetitive fights… So long Copypasta! Totally not using this as an excuse for my laziness and very uncreative fight scenes.

"Gwaaaaaaaah!" Copypaste shouted as his unit of a body took a massive hit from good ol' Blanc.

"Hah...haha… I've lost… But I have...no regrets. My heart feels so...cheery..." Bunch of booli's if you ask me.

"Sir Copy!" The third worker shouted, "Nooo, Sir Copy…!" The second worker called out.

Copypaste turned to the workers with a cheery smile upon his face "Ah, you guys… I showed you a pretty disgraceful sight. I spoke with pride, but this is the result…"

"Don't talk right now! Someone, hurry up and bring me a toolbox!" The first worker told the big robot.

"It wasn't...a bad life… And now, I get to die while I'm surrounded by...friends..." Well if you plan on reincarnating then can I hire you as a DJ? (A reference no one will get because I doubt anyone reading this has played the game.)

"Don't talk like you've given up! We'll fix you right up, and then…!"

"Good-bye, everyone… Thank...you… Urk." Out of nowhere James, Alex and Nep all pulled out shades and put them on while facing away from Copypaste.

Sir Copy…? No, Copy! NOOOOO!" And then he spectacularly blew up leaving bits and pieces here and there but still managing to keep himself intact.

"Cool guys don't look at explosions~" The three who were turned around sang.

"Awwwwwwww… Poor Copypaste..." Plutia said sadly as the robot had seemingly died.

"Poor, my ass! I won, so why do I feel so cruddy?!" Blanc shouted looking visibly angry.

"Um, what should we do, Neptune?" Nepgear asked her sister.

"I say we bail before this gets any worse," Alex whispered to everyone minus Blanc.

"Agreed," James agreed as the two slowly stepped into the shadows as sneakily as possible with Maddy following like a normal person.

"Hey! Wait for us!" Neptune whisper shouted as she dragged Nepgear with her and Plutia just slowly followed like normal.

* * *

"Haven't you made enough of a fool of yourself already, Author?" What?! How do you know about that! I demand an answer!

"A magician never reveals her secrets~" Note to self: Keep Neptune away from the internet…

"Well, why are we walking back? Considering normal logic in stories like this, if we weren't automatically back already something interesting is going to happen..." Can you not read ahead of the non-existent script? Actually just stop reading my mind in general.

"Nope~ never gonna stop!" One of these days, Neptune.

Well if you want to know… Nothing interesting is happening other than some nice conversation… I hope. Seriously I don't control this shit a lot of the time things just happen without my doing.

"Hey does anyone else hear that?" Alex asks as he stops to listen for something he can hear.

"I hear it too!" Nepgear says as she starts looking around for the source of the whatever they are hearing.

"It sounds like music, the kind that only this weirdo of an author would be into..." James mused as he readied his weapon just in case.

The girls all transformed once again preparing for a fight.

 _ **(Hey, look! One of the very few times I request playing a song unless it had some kind of significance! Final Boss by Nitro Fun.)**_

Nothing was happening as the music just progressed until it suddenly picked up in tempo and a large pink circle with a crazy look showed up out of nowhere from the sky.

Suddenly it changed into a strange cannon of sorts with 3 barrels as it blasted lasers to the tempo of the song at the group of heroes.

"The hell do we do now?!" Alex asked as he dodged one of the laser blasts from the crazy enemy unable to even get close and get a hit in.

"I dunno! Just keep avoiding the pink laser things!" James shouted back as he rolled in between two laser paths.

They avoided the lasers as best as they could but it proved harder as the pink circle started throwing out small pink balls like bullets as they got further into the song and the fight.

Finally seeing an opportunity to attack Neptune rushes in with her sword hitting the weird enemy and knocking it off balance which seemed to completely stop it.

"Well, that was anticlimactic…" Iris Heart said in a bored tone as the pink circle just broke into nothingness and disappeared for good.

 _ **(Hopefully, the song ended by this point… Either way, I ain't gonna go any further than this as to not spoil what happens~ If you are curious as to what this was from I will leave the name in the note at the bottom.)**_

With the strange enemy defeated they all moved on back to the Basilicom in Planeptune.

* * *

"Phew, all done. I didn't know what was gonna happen when all those phones did the ringing thing at once," Neptune said as she wiped sweat from her brow.

"We did soooomething…" Plutia cheered slowly as usual.

"I just hope things remain quiet for a little while," Nepgear wished.

"It'd be too boring for the readers if it remained quiet forever!" Neptune said as she invaded the non-existent 4th wall.

"Who can say? It seemed to me that they were all prepared to show up again without much pause," Vert mused as she and the 3 other CPU's showed up outta nowhere.

"I'd welcome another attack. I'll snap their necks the next time I see them!" Noire said angrily.

"How careless for you to have let them escape twice. I crushed my opponent into subservience," Blanc mocked the CPU of Lastation.

"Oh, the others showed up. Neato," James mused as they joined up together and walked along through the Basilicom which was eerily quiet.

"I just gave a lecture to my citizens," Blanc said nonchalantly.

"Hmhmhmm. As for me, I hurried over so that we could bathe together, as we had promised," Vert said with a devilish grin.

"But you don't have to come over here every time you wanna hang out. You all get lonely easy, huh?" Neptune said.

"Isn't it fun to be with everyone, Neppy…?" Plutia asked her fellow CPU.

"Well sure, buddy. But relaxing all alone is cool sometimes, too. Alone in the dark, silent hills…" Neptune told her.

"Don't spend too much time alone or you'll end up like the Author or Lonely Heart here," Alex teased the girl. I ain't responding to that.

"We really shouldn't be lazing about though with those kids being around all the time," Maddy told them.

"Oh, quite right! In a way, they're more difficult to deal with than the Seven Sages," Neptune says with a big smile upon her face.

"She says with a giant smile," Blanc mused pointing out Neptune's big smile.

"All in all, Neptune has fun. That is why the children are so fond of her," Vert points out as they get closer to the living quarters.

"More like she is a child so they see her as one of them…" Noire whispered.

"You're sooooo amazing, Neppy… I could never act as babyish as you…!" OOF! That was nearly as bad as the roll I went on with insulting the size of Blanc's chest like yesterday, and hot damn was that a good time.

"Should I be happy for the praise, or hang my head in shame at the backhanded part of that compliment?" Neptune asked.

"Yes," James stated not giving a direct answer but just saying the age-old phrase of answering with 'Yes'.

"Hmm? Oh, we're back already… That was rather quick," Maddy said as Neptune rushed to open the door as fast as possible before making a sound and movement as if she was hit in the stomach.

"...Or not," Neptune looked a little confused as she went back to her normal self, "What is it? Why did you let out such a guttural sound?" Vert asked wanting to know what's up, "Well, y'see, P-ko usually greets me with a headbutt to my stomach, so I was reacting preemptively..." She answered.

"Something isn't right here…" Maddy said as she started to look around the room rather suspiciously.

"Is everyone gone…? Where did they gooooo…?" Plutia asked as everyone stepped into the empty room.

"I wonder… Can Histoire really look after three kids by herself?" Noire asked from behind Blanc.

"No. That's why Neptune, Maddy or I go out with her. It's also kind of risky if just Plutia goes with them..." Nepgear answered the black CPU.

Blanc perked her ears up as she seemed to have heard something "Quiet. I hear something. Coming from the...trash."

Muffled noises seemed to be coming from inside the trash can but they could not be properly discerned.

Neptune looked inside the trash and found Mini-Histy's book "Let's see here… Oh, wow. Someone threw Histy's tome away and duct taped the heck out of it," Neptune says as she picks the book up. Shoulda used Flex Tape™.

Nepgear joined her sister to look at the tome "Yeah… Did the kids play a prank? Goodness! To do something like this..." Nepgear noticed something odd about the book "Hmm? The book is kinda...round, no?"

More muffled sounds and shaking this time from the tome. Nepgear immediately realised what had happened "Huh? Could it be? Oh, no! I think she's become an Histoire sandwich!"

"Kids' pranks are cruel these days." Eh, I've seen worse, Blanny.

"Now's not the time to say that! Get her out of the book!" Noire demanded as Neptune untaped the book to reveal a Mini-Histy.

* * *

 _ **Could've been longer but decided to leave it here because I felt like it.**_

 _ **Anyways, moving on. The game I was talking about is called Just Shapes and Beats, it's a game about… Shapes and Beats, literally… It's a fun game and although short in story rather fun for a game like that… If you didn't already guess by the song name and that the fight was rather quick it's because I would be spoiling the ending of the game which I highly recommend you find out for yourself.**_

 _ **See ya!**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	37. Chapter 35 A Second Intermission!

_**Not going to lie I've been neglecting this for a few weeks due to me being lazy and so on but also needing a little break because things will probably start becoming a lot more different in the next week as I'll be back in school doing my next course and I'll be doing a program on days I'm normally free. What this means is updating my change from the normal Wednesday to either Monday, Sunday, Saturday or when I'm off for the weekend after school on Fridays.**_

 _ **I'm by no means stopping this story as I intend to finish it one day, but I will probably take breaks more often and not update as often so just bear with it.**_

 _ **I don't have much more to say other than thank you for dealing with my shit.**_

 _ **Chapter 35: Intermission because I'm too lazy to wait an hour for the game to reinstall because it broke… Fucking hell.**_

* * *

"So what do we do now?" Neptune asks.

"We talk about random shit or wait until something interesting happens...I think. I honestly don't know since dumbass is waiting for the game to reinstall so I guess we wait until something interesting happens here- THE TITLE UPDATED!" James answered.

"An intermission…really? Is that what we're doing right now? Someone get my shotgun, we're going hunting for an author..." Hey now calm the fuck down and stop stealing my jokes!

" _ **Yes, we're doing an intermission because I don't know what else to put here and my god I really enjoy this new keyboard way too much…" (I really do hot damn is it satisfying and amazing to use despite how small it is.)**_

"If this is an intermission what the hell are we supposed to do in the meantime?" Neptune asks.

"Not sure to be honest… Nothing is asked frequently and there isn't much to respond to, not that, that matters to our guy in the sky(?)" Alex answers from his seat.

Neptune sat cross-legged trying to think of something that they could do during the intermission until things pick up soon.

Neptune jolted up immediately as she had an idea "I got it! Why don't you all go into more detail about yourselves!"

"No," all three of the group answered in a monotone.

"Aww… But why not? It'll be really fun!" She said trying to get them into doing this simple activity.

"Didn't they get enough information by just reading the story itself?" Alex answered her not wanting to really continue this further.

"You're all big jerks," Neptune pouted as she sat on the beanbag and booted up the console in the room.

* * *

Halfway through the game, she seemed to have an idea with a smirk that I do not like…

"Why not have the author tell us about himself!" Fuck.

"That's a great idea, Neptune," Alex agreed with a smirk. FUCK x2.

"He has no real information about himself unless he's directly said things about his life or if someone directly knows him," Maddy continues on as she turns a page of a book that came out of nowhere.

"… _**Fine. I'll do it…"**_

" _ **Ahem. Let's start simple. My name is not important so just continue to refer to me as the names I prefer to go by."**_

" _ **I'm 17 going 18 in November and live in a land down under. I'm doing courses related to IT which the next one will start next week as seen above."**_

" _ **My 'hobbies' are; Watching anime, Playing video games (Mostly this), Browsing Reddit and the rest of the internet, Reading Fanfiction, and Anything computer related."**_

" _ **A lot of people mistake me as being 'nice' in real life but it's definitely far from that."**_

" _ **You can find me on other sites and so on, going by the same name I do here most likely."**_

" _ **My favourite games of would probably go to Borderlands 2 as the top with Runescape coming in as a close second."**_

" _ **There's really not much about me that's interesting so I'm done here."**_

"Was that so hard?" Neptune asked. Yes because it's not important.

"So… Now what?" Alex asked…

* * *

 _ **We stop here that's what since there isn't much to talk about until the game fixes itself which it could not do… Hopefully, it works.**_

 _ **There isn't much to say about myself but I didn't know what to write for this so I just wrote about myself.**_

 _ **I'll see you all when the thingy is done and maybe on Monday or this weekend or the next.**_

 _ **Thanks for dealing with my shit and the wait hope you all have a wonderful weekend and a wonderful day.**_

 _ **~Ant**_


	38. Important Message

_**Hello… It has been some time hasn't it? Let's just get it over with shall we?**_

 _ **It's been a few weeks since the last update and I'm here to say that I'll be putting this story on hold for who knows how long to outright dropping it. You see, I just don't feel that same 'fire' I first felt and with things now picking up in my life with school, etc. I just have not enough motivation to pull it off anymore.**_

 _ **Whether I pick it up again I don't know, who knows maybe I'll do a new one that doesn't follow any of the games/anime… I don't really know tbh.**_

 _ **Sorry…**_

 _ **~…**_


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